Against All Odds- Chapter 2

Sitting home alone began a normal thing for me after I had moved in with Jose. He was a photographer and used that as his excuse to never be there. Honestly I saw him more when I was just his sub then I did before. It never bothered me as much as it the weekend after I first met Christian. I was miserable with no calls or texts from Jose telling me where he was or when he would be home. Since I moved in we spend most of our time either in bed or the playroom, there was not the changes I had hoped for.

I just needed someone to be with, to talk to...I was not happy but I was not strong enough to do anything about it. I felt so trapped, how can you love someone so much that it hurts you? How can I give all of me and get so little back? Why wasn't I good enough? When he said I loved you...did he really mean it or were they just words to make me happy? I moved to the mirror and stared at myself. I looked like a ghost of myself, a miserable girl who had forgotten how to laugh and to smile. Being with Jose was hurting me more than I could tell anyone. Not even my best friend Kate knew the truth, she had been so happy when I moved out to live with Jose. She whispered to me that all my dreams were going to come true but that was not to be.

Instead each day my dreams began to fade, at first I had wanted to marry him and have children. That was my dream but then it began to fade as my hope and faith were put to the test. Now all I dreamt of was to have him home with me without me having to ask just one night. Seeing what it was doing to me I knew that I needed someone to talk to now, tonight and this moment. I thought of Kate but I knew that she would react badly and confront Jose. I was not ready for that but then my thoughts went to Christian. Would he understand? I could feel myself dying piece by piece each day as I withdrew into myself. I was becoming someone I didn't want to be...a girl who doubted her every move and was convinced that she would never be truly happy. With that thought in my head I swallowed my pride and dialed the number Christian gave me.

As it ran I almost hung up but then I heard his voice, "hello?"

Biting my lip and twirling a piece of my hair nervously as I tried to sound happy I spoke to him. "Hi Christian, it's Ana. Do you remember me?"

"Ana, let me think a minute." His voice was warm and friendly just as I had remembered. "Wait are you the hot chick that I met last night?"

Giggling softly I had to smile at that, "Considering I was home alone last night, I would have to say sorry that is not me."

"Really? Well that is too bad, Ana you said?"

"Yes you dork. I said Ana. A week ago, at the sports bar."

"Yes hot brunette with killer legs and memorizing blue eyes? The one who thought I was someone else. I might remember you; it is not every day that a beautiful lady confuses me."

Hearing the teasing in his voice I burst out laughing, "You are quite a tease. You might remember me? Sounds like you do, you remember my eye color?"

Listening to him talk about how my eyes were one the first things he noticed I relaxed and realized that it was the first time in that week that I laughed. It was hard to keep a happy tone in my voice but I was not ready to bring him into my damn dark world so I changed the subject. "I confused you? How so?"

"Yes you did, most ladies know who I am."

"Oh gez, arrogant much." I scoff back at him and then laughed again. "Must have been quite a blow to your ego that I was clueless. So sorry Mr. Grey."

"Don't be Ms. Steele. I enjoyed it."

"You enjoyed being accused of being someone else?"

"I did, you were very amusing, even while you were wrong." I opened my mouth to make a smart ass comment but none came to mind so I just laughed and called him a dork again. "Dork? I have never been called that before; you are quite a mouthy brat aren't you?"

"I am, mouth, bratty and proud of it, Mr. Grey."

"Suddenly we are so formal again Ms. Steele and Mr. Grey. I thought we were old friends." His teasing tone made me smile and wish that I was with him instead of sitting here alone. "Ana I like it much better when you call me Christian."

With a catch in my throat I said his name softly unable to sound happy anymore. Already talking with him had made me feel more than the rest of the week with Jose. I tried to take a breath and sound normal. "Fine Christian it is then and I am sorry for being so rude on our first meeting."

I heard his voice soften as he said my name, "Ana? Is something wrong? You sound different tonight?"

"I am fine." I stammered out surprised that he could pick up on that in just my voice.

"Fine is girl talk for anything but, I learned that from my sister. You don't have to lie to me. Where is that boyfriend of yours you mentioned that other night?"

"He is...um."

"Ana stop, you do not have to lie to me. Are you home?"

"Yes I am."

"Alone?"

Nodding my head I whisper back, "yeah, why?"

"I will be there in just a few." Before I could protest I heard the call disconnect and I was left sitting puzzled. I had not told Christian where we lived had I? Shaking my head, I got up and jumped in the shower. After getting dressed I was combing out my wet hair when I heard our doorbell go off. I spun around shocked, was that Christian? I peeked out the door to see Christian standing before me, "can I come in Ana?"

"I...uhm...yeah." I pushed open the door and stared at him. He was really here. I needed someone and suddenly here was Christian. Was fate trying to tell me something? Without a word Christian walked in and shut the door behind him relocking it before he looked over at me. I was standing there in shock as he came close. He took me into his arms gently rubbing my back that was it. That was all I needed to let go and the damn of tears I had been holding back started to fall.

"Shush Ana, come." Christian started to pull me with him toward the living room but I stumbled so he swept me up into his arms.

I turned my face to rest on his chest as he walked, then when he set me down I gazed up at him. "I am sorry, your shirt." I fumbled with my words but Christian just shook his head.

"Forget the shirt, I have others. Tell me what's wrong?" He pulled me back to him wrapping his arms around me once more. Within the safety and security of his arms I continued to cry until I was dry. As I sobbed he stroked my hair trying to comfort me. "You love him, don't you?"

Nodding was all I could do at that point as I struggled to wipe my eyes then I pushed back from him to peer up meeting his eyes. "Jose? I do, but he doesn't love me the way I love him. He never has."

"How can anyone not love you?" As Christian pushed a piece of my hair off my face I heard a tender note in his voice. His blue-grey eyes mirrored that softness making me blush. "You are a beautiful woman Ana."

"There is more to love than beauty." I sighed as I whispered back. My voice was hoarse and scratchy from crying as he motioned me closer again. I laid my head against his chest once more closing my eyes. "You cannot force someone to love you like you love them."

"What do you mean?" Christian rubbed his hands down my back making me relax against him.

"He never wanted all this, a relationship, me living with him but I pushed for it. I wanted more than he wanted to give me."

"Stop that right now." Christian shifted so my head was off his chest forcing me to look up at him. "Ana I know that I have not known you long but I see so much in you. You are one of those who are just as beautiful on the inside as you are on the out. You just haven't found the one who will appreciate all that...yet but you will."

Sighing as I gaze up at him I scowled. "You don't know me, you don't' know what I did...how I forced all this."

"I have all night, tell me."

"You really want to know?"

"Yes, did I come here in the middle of the evening for nothing? No I came here for my friend Ana; she sounded on the phone like she needed someone."

Staring at him I nodded, there was something about him that I trusted and I wanted him to stay right here with me all night so I opened up. I told him from the beginning. The night that Jose and I met...how I let that drunken one night stand turn into an unspoken agreement for sex at any time. Then how it changed into that damn contract and how that contract I signed gave Jose my body, heart and soul to control at his whims. I told him about the other girls and how hurt I was, all the nights I spend alone thinking of and wondering why I was not good enough. Finally I got to how I left Jose only to have him beg me back just hours later with promises and the three words I had waited months to hear. Never once did Christian's expression change, never once did I feel judged or scorned. He listened patiently only asking a few questions along the way. At the end I stared at him and sighed, "See I caused all this myself."

Christian's eyes seemed to change for a moment as he eyed me to a hard black then flickered back to his blue-grey. "First Ana you did nothing but fall in love, since when is that a crime?"

"But..."

He cut me off with one of his fingers over my mouth, "not done yet brat." I laughed and closed my mouth. "Second, I can tell just by the way you talk that you love him still. You left him once for all the right reasons but did you go back to him for any good reasons? Have you talked to anyone else about all this?" I shake my head and lower my face in shame. "Ana look at me; all you did was love someone so much that you went after what you wanted. A girl like that is one in a million, you are that girl. If he cannot see what he has maybe you should leave again?"

I bit my lip and look over at him, "are you done now?"

"Maybe..."

"I..."

"Maybe not." Christian cuts me off again and leans closer till we are nose to nose. "Third, I want to see that confident and sexy Ana that approached me the other night. Where is she?"

"She is not real, that is a mask I use to hide behind."

"I don't think so."

"What the fuck?" I stand up suddenly pushing him away. "Christian you dare to say you know me that well already?"

Smirking at me Christian rises and stands right in front of me. "Yes, I see that Ana. She is right there and dying to come out to see me."

"Why you cocky ass." I laugh and reach over to shove him away but he grabs my hands. With my hands in his something happens to me. I feel my heart beating faster and it's like a spark flew up my arms making me shiver but I ignore it as I pull away from him.

"Ana you are a brat."

"Christian you are a cocky ass."

With a playful glint in his eyes Christian comes at me fast and grabs my hands again, "No one has ever gotten away with insulting me."

"Well you are a smart boy, haven't' you heard there is a first time for everything?"

"No."

"No? Really?" I laugh and pull my hands free again.

"Yes I heard it but no I don't agree with it."

"You are a confusing man Mr. Grey."

"What did I say about that?"

"Sorry Christian...is that better?"

"No." He moved at me again so fast I could not move before he pinned me to the wall. He was so close I could feel his breath on my face.

"Christian let me go, unless you want slapped."

He laughed and waved my hands in the air as he held them in his. "I want to see you do that."

Snickering I rolled my eyes, "Fine you win this one. I am helpless in your grasp."

His eyes twinkled at me as he whispered, "I will never hurt you, that I promise you."

Before I could answer him there was a loud slamming outside and then the front door flew open. Jose was home, Christian and I immediately separated trying to act like that exchange meant nothing. Jose eyed Christian then spoke, "Who are you?" He looked my way frowning, "do you know what time it is?"

Glaring at Jose I shake my head at Christian. "This is my friend Christian. Christian this is Jose."

Jose stepped between Christian and me glaring right back at me before turning to size up Christian. "She forgot to mention that I am the boyfriend and it's late. She should already be in bed; I assume you know the way out."

"No! You will not talk to my friend like that."

"Ana, do we have a problem here?" Jose fixes me with his green eyes and then motions toward the bedroom. "Just go."

I peek over at Christian and see a vein on the side of his neck pulsating; I know it is taking all he has not to react right now. I lunge between them and hug Jose first whispering to him, "Let me show him out." Then before he can stop me I grab Christian by the hand and take him outside with me. Standing next to Christian's car I lower my head trying not to cry again. I can feel Jose's eyes on me from the house but when Christian pulls me into a hug I forget to care. As he held me in his arms Christian began to whisper in my ear, "Ana, you deserve so much better than him."

"You don't know me well enough to say that but thank you Christian. I appreciate it."

I start to pull away but his arms tighten around me so I cannot escape. I hear him take a breath in and I see his eyes closed. He is inhaling the smell of me. I cough loudly and he blushes. "You are not going to leave him?" His tone is hard and unreadable.

"Not tonight but I do not know about the future."

"The longer you wait the harder it will be, you know that right?"

With a sigh, I nod, "I know, each day I am in deeper."

"So I won't need to say I told you so?"

"No you won't and if you want to bail on me, I understand."

He pulls me tight against him at that and hisses in my ear, "You listen up, I am going nowhere. I will never turn my back on you. Anytime, anyplace...you need me I will be there. Never forget that Ana."