Suddenly, the tentacles stopped.
Windflyer frowned. They'd been at full power before. What the heck happened?
"You can thank me later."
A dark shape appeared in the shadows. It was hard to make out, but it looked like a...
"The man of bats!"
Oh god. BATMAN. That was helpful.
"Thanks a lot, Batman," the Toa spat. "We were doing just dandy before YOU came in."
Batman narrowed his eyes. "I know."
"So? Can't you just stick to your own fights?"
"I'm afraid not," Batman continued, freeing Starfire from the tentacles. "I've come here with an important message."
"And that is..."
"You're not going to be able to fight crime anymore."
"WHAT?"
Both Titans fainted.
"But I don't understand," Robin said. "Windflyer's right. I wasn't in any danger. Why are you here?"
"The Justice League told me we need to... replace you. Luthor's not too happy."
"But that's Lex Luthor... right, dude?" Beast Boy laughed nervously. "He wouldn't have any issue with-"
The Bat narrowed his eyes. "He thinks you're too dangerous. Too complex. Too... not kid-friendly."
"I could say the same for you," Raven muttered.
"Don't think I didn't hear that."
"Whatever."
"What I think he's trying to say," Cyborg countered, "is that we need to get jazzy with the public. And if the public sees us as a menace..."
"Then we will not have their favour anymore," Starfire finished sadly.
Batman smiled. "Exactly." He turned to the computer. "If you don't mind, I'm going to have to ask you to pack up and leave."
Everyone facefaulted. Nobody was too happy about this decision.
"What? WHY?"
"The new Titans will be here any second."
"Wait..." Windflyer frowned. "New... Titans? But aren't... we the Titans?"
"Not anymore," Batman said. "I'd like to introduce you to-"
TEEN TITANS GO!
!
INTRODUCING:
ROBIN (HE"S BATMAN"S SIDEKICK)
CYBORG (TECH EXTRAORDINAIRE... AND BLACK)
BEAST BOY (DUDE! DUDE! DUDE!)
STARFIRE (BRAINLESS SLUT)
RAVEN (SHE CAN EXPLODE YOU AT ANY SECOND. JUST LOOK AT THE COMICS.)
AND NEWLY MINTED...
NATALIE BREEZ (BECAUSE LEWA A S***)
EPISODE I: DRIVER"S LICENCE!
It was a beautiful day in Titans Tower. No wait, it wasn't. Because bad guys were attacking.
"HAHAHA, BRAINLESS CLUNKHEADS!"
"After him, Titans!"
The Titans were taking they're new T-car. It's awesome because it has rockets and jets and neon. Get it now with 60% APR financing.
Gizmo was using his Doctor Octopus tech, which doesn't make any sense because A) Doc Ock is Marvel and B) Doc Ock is Spidey. And shouldn't we get the Ultimate Spidey?
Robin knew that Gizmo was powerful. But he also knew that his Titans were even more powerful. Because Batman told him. Batman's the best.
Gizmo lashed out with his tentacle, but Raven countered with a shield and threw it back. Starfire began blasting him with starbolts. Cyborg did... some gun s***. I don't know.
Gizmo wasn't dead yet. And the HIVE Five were with him. They'd never win.
Unless...
Beast Boy had a plan. He rushed to the pantry, picked up a rotting banana, and...
BANANA!
Threw it on Gizmo! It worked! The dumb nerd wasn't looking where he was going and slipped and fell. And everything exploded. Because he's Asian. Aw yeah, Titans.
"That was amazing!" Robin yelled.
"Yes, very joyous, oh glorious friends!"
"Charming."
"Dude, I know. I'm Awesome." Beast Boy grinned, looking at the destroyed island. "Any ideas on what we should do now?"
"Let's hit those showers!"
"EEEEEWWWW!"
RECOIL!
"Dude. That's gross, dude."
Cyborg frowned. "Yeah. Everyone up for pizza?"
"Aw yeah, Titans!"
"Glorious and joyous!"
At the pizza shop...
The Titans are sitting and arguing over pizza.
Rob: Hey, I wonder where Terra went.
BB: Why do you ask, dude?
Rae: Isn't it obvious? He wants you to stop moping over yourself.
BB: Dude, I don't...
Star: Friend Robin is correct! Realize that the event must have affected you prominently, Friend Beast Boy.
BB: Whatever, dude.
Cy: We gonna have an argument over pizza, grass stain?
BB: No.
Rob: Hey, look! It's our new friend Handsome!
(Handsome appears)
H: Hi, guys!
Rob: Handsome, we need you to investigate why Gizmo attacked us.
H: No need. Ol' Batsy is on the case.
Rob: But we were just- oh, okay. That's cool with me!
Star: Should we not go an assist them? I understand his sidekick Katana has... issues. Do you not agree, Friend Natalie?
Rae: If there's anyone you kooks should be nervous about, it's Alfred.
H: Alfred's awesome.
Rob: No he's not. Batman is awesomer.
H: Alfred's awesomer!
R: Batman's awesomer!
H: ALFRED"S AWESOMER!
BR: BATMAN"S AWESOMER!
Star: Katana is awesomer!
Cy: Yeah, I agree with Star. Katana is cool and has a sword.
BB: Dudes, she's hot.
Star: Friends, might you want to hear a knock ncok juoek?
Rob: Not now, Star. We need to go beat Professor Pyg and Mister Toad.
BB: But-but- they're mean! Dangerous! I can't fight 'em!
H: Dont worry, BeastBoy. They've been toned down for American consumption.
BB: But they destroyed Aya! She's dead, dudes! Dead!
Rae: Not quite. But we will never know if she's alive.
Cy.: Damn Snyder.
All the titans clenced their fists, because Stuart Snyder was an evil evil man.
Suddenly
BOOM!
Rob: Titans! Go!
They went off to fight the new evil.
At the scene of the crime...
Johnny test was causing havoc. Lots of havoc. WHIP. It was amazing to think of how much havoc he created. Crack. No, seriously. It's worse than Annoying Orange and Incredible Crew put together. RIFF.
Robin was first to the scene. He once learned how to be super fast, because based Batman taught him to. I love Batman.
3 Batman.
"You've cracked your last whip, Johnny!"
WHIP.
Johnny turned to them. He wasnt too happy... no, he seemed concerned. Like someone had set hm up for this.
It's been falling out my reach
He sighed. "What can you do?" Crack.
I once had a trip right to the beach
Starfire floated up to him. "Friend, we can help you. Might you enjoy a good joke of two knocks?"
Rainbow, rainbow, kicking a keetch
"I don't know. I guess so?"
I'd really really like to smush a beetch
"Let's hit those showers!" Cyborg cheered.
"Yeah, dudes!"
"Go for it."
Starife smile.d "VEry well then,. How many gorfnuuks does it take to screw in a xzahrfnim?"
Johnny frowned.
Blood on my fingers, yeah yeah yeah
RIFF.
"Do your worst."
"Umm, that is wrong, friend."
"Totally wrong, dude."
WHIP.
Dripping down my fingers
"Then..." Dukey appeared. HE looked at Johnyy incredulously. "Ask her who's at the door, you prick!"
The blood of angry men
"Okay, sut up!" CRack. "Whos there?"
"FINBAR!"
Everyone laughed. It was a really funny joke. Most of all Johnny. Later, when Nick had their Kid's Choice awards, it actually one the award for Beast Joke over Spongebob. which should never happen, because Spongebob is awesome.
I learned that trick from Jean Valjean
"Aw yeah, Titans!"
"We rule!"
"I'm sorry, Teen Titans. No, you don't."
The Titans, Johnny, and Dukey looked to the scene of a crime. Johnyy stared for a moment before gagging.
"A My Little Pony?"
"My wings are so pretty!"
Who got his hat from ol' Axe Cop
Robin frowned. "I don't think that's the enemy, Titans. Batman told me ponies are autistic."
"And he's not?" Cyborg asked.
"She. Princess Twilight Sparkle. She's not autistic, because she enforces gender roles. Batman says those make the world go 'round."
"I hate batman," Dukey muttured.
"WHAT?"
"Nothing!" He grinned evilly. "Actually, there is something. Bewcause I'm the actual enemy."
His eyes began to glow, brilliant red replacing dull grey.
Good old Axe Cop, on friend Wexter
"What did you do, Dukey?"
"I stole your shows. All of them. Motorcity, Tron, SBT, YJ, GL. I tok them all. And left god cartoons in their place."
Dexter, Dexter, Dexter
"Chima isn't even a show, dude," Beast Boy said. "It's LEGO."
"And I'm LEGO."
"Dude."
Omelette du fromage, au fromage
"No matter. You've been looking for the wrong person. It's not a pony your looking for. It's not even a SANIC you're looking for."
Camea capora. It doesn't matter
"No... you're looking for me. Stuart Snyder. The god of all evil."
"NOOOOOOOO!"
Because CN is the tightest for liiiiiiiiiiiiiifeee!
"PREPARE TO FACE MY WRATH!"
EPISODE II: SNYDER ATTACKS!
SS: PREPARE TO D
"Stop. STOP. I can't read this crap anymore."
"It is... not nice?"
Windflyer scoffed angrily. "Are you kidding me? It's AWFUL!"
"But I worked very very hard on it..."
He softened. "I can understand. Still... you need help. Lots of help."
"Very well," Starfire said, smiling. "Might we congregate after this shoot?"
"I suppose so. Hey, guys? What happened to the tentacles?"
"They're comin' in a minute," a nearby operator said.
"That's cool. Star, I love you an' all, but... you sure this isn't just a bad April Fools joke?"
IT SURE IS
APRIL FOOLS YOU FRAGGING BASTICHES
YOU GOT FRAGGED
BY THE IMMACULATE MASTER OF PRANKS LOBO
IM SO AWESOME
NEW CHAPTER SOON