It was seven months after the closure of the Breach when they finally went into a serious tryout.
Mako's eyes had reflected pride and love, a kind of inner peace and understanding that showed she saw and knew so much more than most would.
"They are completing each other's moves," had been her only comment without sadness or jealousy.
Bond had just nodded.
For the first time Chuck matched Raleigh every time, reacted and acted to his partner's moves, and Raleigh did the same. It looked smooth, elegant, and right.
The broken leg had mended, though Chuck still couldn't go through with a full Kwoon training session just yet. At least not the drill the Academy had put him through as a junior.
The screws and plates might never be removed, but he was moving a lot better, the muscles were getting stronger by the week, and he barely even limped after training anymore.
Raleigh always stopped when it became clear that the other man was in pain. Sometimes Chuck would pitch a fit, snarl and hiss and growl. He would vent, then things were back on an even keel. He needed that.
The anger slid off the older pilot. It seemed Raleigh Becket had truly found his calm center, had become as balanced in his life as he had been in the fights.
He had Mako to thank for it. She actually looked kind of proud, knowing it had been her influence.
It was what Chuck needed, this kind of serene balance, the acceptance, the patience. And something deeper. The emotions between the two men were still developing, the connection forming without the Drift.
Herc had been there on and off, and if he couldn't come, he had James be there. Herc only too happy for his son. Their relationship was still rocky, but it was mending. At last.
At the end of the session, Chuck looked exhausted. His face was sweat-streaked and he was trembling, but the gleam of triumph in his eyes chased away the shadows of the strain he had been under. And the wide smile of happiness was hard to miss, too.
As was the one on Raleigh's face.
A matching smile.
x X XX xx X
A new Mark-VI Jaeger was under construction for Hong Kong and their combat training was becoming more and more intense. Epic North was ready for them, and they would soon be ready for the first full Drift experience.
"She's sexy," Chuck had remarked when he had seen the new Jaeger under construction. "Like Striker."
"And Gipsy."
"As if that bucket of bolts was anything other than a wreck on legs!"
"At least she wasn't some pretentious, gleaming show-pony."
"Show-pony?! Striker wasn't a show-pony! She was a Mark-V, the best and brightest, piloted by the best and brightest!"
"I'll give you that, Herc has a solid head on his shoulders…"
"Fuck off, Raleigh!"
Raleigh's applied method or silencing the outrage and keeping the argument from getting out of hand was kissing Chuck. It was almost a force of nature to behold.
Herc simply rolled his eyes. "The novelty will wear off after a while."
x X XX xx X
Or at least everyone thought they were ready.
It would be the final test for the new team; facing each other's emotions, thoughts, memories and instincts. They would have to leave behind shame, accept the other completely, and step into the neural handshake as one.
x X XX xx Xx X XX xx Xx X XX xx Xx X XX xx Xx X XX xx Xx X XX xx X
Bond found Raleigh in the mess hall, in the middle of the night. He was nursing what looked like a soda. Alcohol had been for celebrations only and pilots, even without a Jaeger, were discouraged from drinking.
The blue eyes that met Bond's own were hooded, filled with what could only be memories.
He got himself a bottle of water and sat down without an invitation.
"Late," was the Double-Oh's only comment.
Raleigh snorted a laugh. "Shit nightmares."
He waited.
"We fit in the Kwoon. Like Mako was a fit, too. She went into the Drift with me and chased the rabbit. Not mine. Her own pain." He wiped his thumb through the condensation on the bottle. "I'm damaged goods, Bond. And he'll see it all, that pain, the shadows, the hole in my mind."
"So did Mako."
It got him a hollow kind of sound. "She isn't Chuck."
"Definitely not."
"He grew up being a ranger. He was raised in a Conn-Pod and a Shatterdome. He's this arrogant jackass who knows he's a damn good pilot, one of the best, and I… I feel a lot for him," Raleigh struggled with his emotions. "He knows what happened in Alaska. Everyone does. But then he would see it."
He closed his eyes, his whole body tense.
"It's not the same. It never is."
"Mako saw it," Bond repeated evenly. "She didn't run from it."
Raleigh shook his head. "Mako and I are co-pilots. Colleagues. I like her a lot. She's… like this solid presence… Even in the Ghost-Drifts."
Bond smiled a little. He could relate. It sounded like Q, though him and Q had gone quickly past co-pilots and colleagues.
"I feel good with her. The Drift hangovers weren't bad. I mean, I had some with Yancy," he hesitated, then went on, "back in Anchorage. It wasn't a big deal. A day maybe. Same with Mako. We are compatible and it's… really good."
He still kept his silence, just listening.
"I feel good with Chuck, too. When we're together. Yeah, he's an ass sometimes, and he can't stop that mouth of his, but I like it. He's… he's Chuck. And we're really good together. Even in the Kwoon. But the Drift… is different. I'm terrified of what might happen in the Drift."
"You won't know until you try."
Raleigh grimaced. "Oh, good advice, Double-Oh."
Bond chuckled and drank some water.
"You know I was diagnosed with neural damage after…"
"Yes."
"I could still Drift with Mako. It was… a surprise. Just because the Kwoon fits you together doesn't mean a Drift is possible, let alone synchronized and stable."
"You won't know until you try."
"Not sure I want to, really." Raleigh looked away, drinking his beer. "No more Kaijus to fight. Why risk everything?"
Why risk a growing relationship, something that was already more than either man had ever hoped for, and go into a Drift. Right.
"You want to," Bond remarked quietly.
Raleigh didn't answer.
The silence between them wasn't uncomfortable, simply there.
"So what's your excuse for running around the Shatterdome at night?" Raleigh finally asked, changing the topic.
"Couldn't sleep."
The other smirked. "Q working late?"
"Nope. He's out like a light. He and Dr. Gottlieb spent the last twenty-four hours over data I have a hard time wrapping my head around, and I was in his head. Believe me, a scary place to be when it comes to what he can really do with a computer."
Raleigh toasted him with the soda. "I believe you."
Bond responded in kind.
"Did you ever talk to Chuck about what he might expect?" he tried to get back to the original topic, aware he was digging around a painful wound.
Raleigh chewed on his lower lip. Finally, "He knows all the sordid details. Everyone knows. Five years isn't that long a time. It was all over the news back then. They dragged my face through enough news flashes and whatnot. I was a sensation and a failure and a hero and everything else they wanted me to be. In the end I was simply…"
Becket stopped. Bond watched him. watched the memories chase each other. Raleigh Becket was damaged, yes, but not beyond repair. Mako had started it, was a healing factor, was the crutch he had needed to get back into the Jaeger and kick the Kaijus back into the Breach. She had shown him that he was still useful, that all the neural damage in his brain didn't prevent him from Drifting again. She had been the one to drag him back into a life he had been running from.
He owed her everything.
Chuck was the emotional healing, the physical aspect Becket needed. Raleigh had let himself get intimately close to another human being again. Not emotionally in a platonic kind of way, like with Mako. Their friendship had been step one.
No, Chuck Hansen had been the key to opening yet another door, to a place that was scarred and curled up in a tight knot, afraid, maybe even terrified, of showing more than surface affection.
"He would understand."
"He would see and feel it, Bond! That's different from seeing it on the news, making up your mind about the survivor, and calling him a has-been!" Raleigh snapped. "He doesn't need to feel what it was like to lose your brother! He doesn't need to go through that endless pain, feel this terror that isn't your own and still is! He doesn't have to see it! The nightmares! The endless nightmares… and… knowing that part of you is forever gone."
Raleigh's voice almost broke, his eyes filled with an incredible pain.
"But Yancy is still there. He's in my head, part of my soul, and Mako saw it… felt it… went through it. Chuck's not Mako, Bond," he whispered, voice almost broken. "It's one thing to know your… lover, boyfriend, whatever I am, is this brain-damaged wash-out. It's another to see it. Everything. I can't… I couldn't stand to see the… pity. Or worse. And I'm stupid," he added faintly.
Raleigh stopped and groaned, raking his fingers through his hair. It had been his most emotional outburst since they had started their semi-regular talks.
Bond suddenly turned his head and caught the silhouette of someone in the doorway. Hansen. The younger man stepped almost silently closer, his face pale, unshaven, creased with sleep. He was wearing sweats and a simple, gray t-shirt. Those sharp eyes were on the slumped figure next to James, his mouth twisting with something Bond couldn't put a name to.
"Talk," the Double-Oh only said and rose.
Raleigh's head whipped up and he looked like a deer caught in the headlights when he discovered Chuck. He was flushed from his outburst, but he paled dramatically as he discovered the other man. His eyes looked huge.
"You're a bloody moron," Chuck growled as he stopped in front of the table. "I never pitied your bleedin' arse and I never will! You're a grade-A dipstick, Rah-leigh," he drawled, accent thickening, fury in his eyes. "You really think I'd ditch you 'cause you're funny in the head? I know you are, you dill!"
Raleigh stared at him like he was a ghost; a particularly scary one, too.
"You really think I've got no idea what Drifting means? Really? I know you're screwed in the head and so am I, Becket! Ask Herc! The man I hated for most of my teen years! Ask anyone!"
Bond wisely chose to beat a silent retreat, leaving the two men to sort out what was going on between them.
There was an absence of loud voices, well, only one since it had been Chuck yelling, and he stopped. He looked back and smirked briefly at the sight of Chuck Hansen assaulting Raleigh Becket's mouth like it was a Kaiju and he was a Jaeger bent on conquering the enemy.
Those two really had some issues to work through.
With or without a Drift.
tbc...