It was an hour until sunrise, though the sky was already beginning to lighten at the edges, when Luffy bounced through the entire length of the Thousand Sunny projecting his voice into every nook and cranny. It was clear there was no present danger - it was just Luffy being Luffy - but still. Sanji woke up immediately.

"Oh no, that adorable rubber idiot is calling for me!" she cried.

There was only one emperor-sized bed in the ladies' bedroom, which Nami and Robin shared, and the two had politely declined letting Sanji sleep with them (not that she had really wanted to, but the bed looked so soft). They had been gracious enough, though, to lend Sanji a sofa and a blanket for the night. She leaped out of them now, cooing, "I must attend to my captain's needs!"

"Pipe down, Sanji," Nami grumbled with her face in a pillow. She raised her head and met Sanji's eyes. Something in her expression twitched. She threw her face back into the pillow with a muffled, "Pffffffft." Sanji wrinkled her forehead suspiciously.

Robin sat up from the bed and stretched luxuriously before turning to her. "Go ahead, Sanji," Robin said with a smile that revealed nothing. "We'll be right with you."

One eye still trained on the two ladies, Sanji moved toward the door. She was almost there by the time she finally noticed. Her steps froze like she had turned to stone.

On the bed, Nami couldn't help it anymore. She burst out laughing.

"GRAAAAAAHHHH!"

The door to the women's place exploded outwards like it had been hit by one of Franky's cannons. One pissed off cook came shrieking out of the room three seconds later, obscured by smoke and the smoldering remains of the door.

The marine yelped in surprise. By knee-jerk reaction Zoro grabbed the hilt of Wado, eyebrow raised inquisitively. Her male crewmates piled outside the men's place, sufficiently roused from their slumber to gape at the spectacle.

"Sanji!" Luffy dashed from the aquarium back to the deck and said cheerfully, "Breakfast!"

"NOOOOOOOO!"

Luffy paused, blinking.

"DON'T LOOK!" Sanji screeched. "DON'T LOOK, DON'T LOOK!"

Through the dust, Zoro saw a flash of pink dash to get into the men's place. Her one eye narrowed. She lowered herself slightly, then, quick as a snake striking, stuck her foot out across the door. The pink thing tripped spectacularly.

"AGHKASDDKFKL-oomph!"

The dust was settling. Zoro saw what lay face-down halfway in the door, and snorted.

"Sanji, what's wrong?" Luffy squatted beside Sanji, genuinely concerned. "Do you need Chopper?"

A long and mournful wail that should have been impossible for a human to produce ripped out of Sanji's throat. She curled up into a pink, frilly ball on the floor, sniffling to herself.

"Really, Sanji, there's no need to be so overdramatic about it," Nami sighed, stepping out of the women's place with Robin.

The cook leaped up immediately. "This is all your fault! I knew I couldn't trust you two - I'm going to kill you, bitches!" she sobbed - and, standing at full height, she accidentally gave everyone a clear view of herself. In a ring around Sanji, the men's jaws dropped until they hit the wooden floor. Franky gave a wolf whistle.

Artfully arranged on her slim frame was a pink sleeveless cocktail dress - it hugged her curves elegantly and flared out with intricate lace designs around her knees. Her black shoes had been replaced by a pair of gem-studded fuchsia stilettos. All in all she looked like a deranged barbie doll coming home from a party, scruffy blonde hair sticking up every which way in the morning light.

"Pink suits her, does it not?" Robin chuckled, apparently pleased with her handiwork. Nami slapped a palm over her mouth to keep from laughing. Privately, Zoro had to admire the combined abilities of the former assassin and thief.

"It does not!" Sanji shrieked.

Zoro snorted again. "Princess of Retardia looks the role now," she muttered under her breath.

Sanji whirled around. "What was that!?"

The marine flinched. "Is - is this in-crew fighting?" he hissed frantically, confused.

Luffy laughed. "You look good, Sanji!"

Sanji snapped her head to look at him. "I - what?"

"I'm hungry! Let's eat breakfast! Glasses guy has stuff to say, too!"

The marine blinked. "Oh - yes, I do, but your crew is -"

Zoro brushed his shoulder as she walked past. "You haven't seen in-crew fighting. Relax." They filed into the seats by the kitchen table, the marine hesitantly following Zoro and sitting down next to her.

Sanji wrung her hands while Luffy dragged her into the kitchen and turned on the light. "Luffy, dear, what did you say?"

"Breakfast! Breakfast!"

"No, before that, I-"

Chopper tugged on the hem of Sanji's dress. "Are you okay, Sanji?"

"I'm fine Chopper - Luffy -"

"Food!"

Sanji started preparing breakfast - a quick fruit salad and some sandwiches, hands and knife a blur - as she persisted, "Luffy, what did you say?"

Usopp punched her in the shoulder. "He said you look good in the dress!"

A blue eye blinked. Slowly, pink blush spread around her cheeks. "R-really?"

He shrugged. "It's Luffy, though, so can't put much weight to it."

"...Oh."

A gloom fell thickly over Sanji's shoulders. The blade fell mechanically.

"But I mean, you really do look great in that, Sanji!" he said quickly. "Suits you perfectly!"

She looked up. She had finished cutting the fruit and sandwiches and was absentmindedly arranging them on three large platters. "It does?"

Usopp gave her a thumbs-up. "Sure it does! You look good in anything, really, but this one takes the cake!"

She gave a little gasp. She dropped her hands and looked down, so her bangs fell over both eyes. "I - I..."

"Uh - what, was it something I said? What's wrong?" In a panic, he edged closer and laid a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Sanji?"

Sanji threw herself at Usopp with arms spread wide and lips puckered.

"I love you, my darling!"

"GYAAAHHHHHHH!"

He dodged the first attack and started to run, screaming all the while, "Oh God what have I done!?" She chased him around the kitchen table, and they both ran so fast they looked like one pink and orange blur.

"Hey look!" Luffy laughed, shoving a mega-sandwich into his mouth. "Sanji and Usopp are dancing!"

Chopper blinked. "They are?"

Zoro shrugged. He popped open the morning's first tankard of sake, too lazy to pour it into an actual cup. "Sure."

"Yohoho, young love!" Brook pulled out his guitar and began to play some kind of dance music, which was promptly joined by Franky: "Attack we keep it on the dance floor / Discotech meet me at the back door..."

From the corner of her eye Zoro watched the marine shake his head, laugh, and take a piece of fruit. Content, she ate a sandwich and washed it down with alcohol.

"So we're gonna go find the whale again!" Luffy announced.

Nami dodged the spray of food from his mouth, frowning. "Right now? That's why you went around waking us all up?"

"Yeah! Zoro and Glasses Guy want to, so I was gonna ask Sanji if it was okay."

Sanji stopped abruptly by Luffy's chair. Usopp yelped and skidded to a stop just before smashing into her back, leaving a trail of smoking kitchen floor behind him. Franky shot him a look.

"What is it you desire of me, captain?" the cook gushed. "Name anything and I will endeavor to fulfill it!"

Then, to Zoro's surprise, the marine stood from the table and looked straight at Sanji. "It is my request, actually," he said. "I hate to ask this of pirates; but last night I made the decision that I wish to be returned to my original body, and therefore you and Roronoah Zoro run the risk of becoming men again, as well. I apologize for my selfishness, but this is something that I must do."

The marine stood tall, gaze locked on Sanji's. Now that Zoro looked closer at him under the bright kitchen lights, she realized with a very small pang of guilt that bruises were forming all around his face and arms, and probably everywhere else that was covered in clothes, too. His long hair was coming undone from the clip on the back of his head, and accumulated sweat and sea salt plastered lone black strands all around his neck and forehead. He looked a mess.

But his eyes were bright and determined, just like her again. Zoro smiled.

"Of course!" Sanji crooned without any hesitation. "If you so desire, I will gladly help you become a woman again!"

Luffy inhaled one last sandwich and stood on the table. "Then it's settled!" He threw both fists up into the air and whooped. "We're gonna go meet the mystery whale!"

The usual complaints from the crew aside, the rest of the meal was spent discussing logistics. Zoro kept dozing off in the middle of the conversation, but she managed to piece together that Nami was going to try calling the whale like the marine had done by the G-5's ship, and then Zoro would get to beat the crap out of the bastard and force it to change them back into their proper genders. Or something. Whatever, she'd figure out what to do when the time came. When all the food was gone everyone left the kitchen to do whatever on the deck, besides the cook, who gathered the dishes and started washing them in the sink. Zoro got up and went to her side.

"Here." She slammed the empty sake tankard onto the counter.

"What the hell, you bitch - put it down nicely!" Sanji was still wearing the dress, careful not to splash soap water on it. There weren't many dishes - soon she was picking up the tankard and scrubbing it out in running water.

Zoro waited. Sanji finished washing the tankard, dried it with a towel. She eyed Zoro suspiciously.

"What do you want, shitface?" she hissed.

Zoro took her time. She leaned against the counter, back to Sanji, and watched the kids play through the kitchen door. Sanji put the tankard away and wiped down the counter and sink. Then Zoro heard the towel being slapped down and footsteps stomping closer, and she smirked.

"I said," Sanji spat, stalking around the counter to face Zoro, "what do you fucking want?"

"You're such a bitch."

She froze. Thin lips opened, closed, and Sanji grew pink with rage. Zoro noted that her cheeks matched her dress really quite well.

"And you're a bigger bitch. If that's all you have to say I'm slamming these high-heeled shoes straight into your ass and sending you through that nice reinforced door frame Franky had the foresight to make."

"And you'll go back to being a bastard again, just like that?"

Sanji put her hands on her hips and sighed. "Oh, so that's what this is all about. Cute wittle Zolo is worried about how I feel?" She giggled and added in a high, sugary voice, "How sweet."

"You're still wearing the dress." Zoro tried to sound disgusted. This was Sanji, so it wasn't hard. "Just because some idiot said you look good in it, you'll wear a dress you practically ripped off when you first saw it on you. Bitch."

"Hey, that was - that was because of a traumatic incident back in my manhood days, alright? It took a moment to adjust."

"Excuses, excuses. Can you even fight in that?"

"I can kick your ass very well, thank you very much."

"So you like wearing dresses now. You like going around with shoes that could twist your ankle if you run too fast and clothes that show off your cunt every time you kick."

"Don't be jealous," Sanji growled, "just because I happen to enjoy fancier clothes than that moldy rag you're wearing, fucking asshole-for-a-mouth. Nothing but shit comes out of there, I swear."

"You like showing off your femininity now."

"Because I have to," she snapped. "You think I don't feel weird doing this? All the memories of my days in Hell are torturing me, even now! Right now! It sucks! But if I told everyone how I felt - if I said I'm honestly glad Tashigi decided to turn back into a woman, if I got back in my suit and told everyone I'm proud of how I was born, goddammit, and that I hate having to be someone I'm not for the rest of my goddamned shitty life just because of some stupid whale - how do you think she'll feel?"

A pause.

"He'll feel."

Zoro cocked her head. Sanji glared at her with an icy blue eye, daring her to say something in response. So she just shrugged.

"You can call her a she," she said. "Gonna be a woman again, soon, anyways." And, satisfied, she started out toward the kitchen door.

"Wait - what? The hell was that? What?" the cook sputtered.

Zoro yawned and stretched her arms over her head. "Just making sure we all feel the same way," she grumbled. "I don't care if you wear a dress or not, anyways. I can fight you just fine like this."

"What the hell, that's it? Hey - hey, I didn't say you could leave!"

She turned around at the door irritably. "What?"

"Did you use all three?" Sanji blurted out.

"What?"

Her face was still beet red. "Don't make me fucking spell it out! In the fight, did you use all three?"

Zoro blinked, then shifted her weight a little. She cleared her throat.

"Yeah."

They stood in front of each other awkwardly for a moment.

Then Sanji coughed, and nodded once. "Right. Good. Now get your ass out there and stop bothering me."

"Like I needed you to tell me that!"

Zoro ducked the mandatory farewell kick, and stepped into the sunlight.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," Nami muttered in her bikini. She looked over the side of the Mini Merry and into the glistening water, apprehensive. "You sure it'll come? Are we even close enough? How loud do I have to scream?"

"We should be within range," Tashigi said beside her. "Don't worry, it'll hear."

Nami looked at him, raking her eyes over his ill-fitting shirt and too-tight pants for the hundredth time. Female Zoro and Sanji were kind of cute, but male Tashigi had weirded her out for a while. Tashigi's femininity was a huge part of her personality - the man standing beside her had seemed oddly bereft, missing something essential. He looked a little better now, though. Zoro had done something to him over the night. She smirked, running through the various delectable possibilities.

"Are you ready?" Tashigi asked.

Nami blinked. "Oh, yeah. Sure."

"Go Nami!" Luffy shouted from his perch on the Sunny's railing (barred from the Mini Merry out of concern for his Devil Fruit condition combined with his...Luffy condition). "Yeah! Yeah!"

For the sake of Tashigi's, Zoro's, and Sanji's personalities, Nami thought. She stood up, took a deep breath, and leaped off the boat. She slid into the cold water easily. Once fully submerged, she cupped her hands around her mouth and called into the dark blue depths:

"O great Sea God, please answer my call - as a daughter of the seas I ask for you!"

Bubbles flew around her face and befuddled her tongue; sputtering, she grabbed onto the edge of the Mini Merry and resurfaced.

"Is that it?" she panted.

Tashigi nodded at her, then fixed a bright black gaze to a point in the distance. "That should be all."

"I wonder how the Sea God detects the vibrations underwater," she mused. She climbed back on board and toweled herself dry, slipped on a pair of jeans. "Normal whales rely on lower pitches so the sound travels further, but human voices are..."

Tashigi was still. Nami glanced at his face, then looked in the direction of his gaze.

On the horizon, a long white streak broke the surface of the water and moved steadily closer.

"He's here," he breathed.

Words of the Sheep: ...sorry about the delay...yeah.

Random Reg the FG trivia. Oda calls the girls' room "the girls' room." Fem!Sanji calls it "the ladies' bedroom." Zoro calls it "the women's place." The Strawhat pervs call it "the forbidden garden." Tashigi calls it "the women's chambers." Luffy calls it "where Nami and Robin go at night."

The song Brook played is Discotech by Young Love which I have never heard but I wiki'd it and I thought it was funny.