Against All Odds- Chapter 8
Still in my car I jumped as my cell went off. I peeked and it was Kate texting me. "Ana, are you ok?"
"Yes, why?"
"Haven't you seen it?"
I frowned at her message and then just dialed her number, "Hey." I said as soon as she answered, "See what?"
"Your face book Ana."
"Um no, why?"
"Well for starters you are single now."
"Big damn deal, Jose sure changed that fast didn't he?"
"Ana did you ever tell him that you were in love with Christian?"
"WHAT? No way, and why do you assume that I am?"
"So you didn't post that on your wall?"
"POST WHAT?" I cry loud, "Hang on fuck, I am hanging up. Let me look."
Ending the call with Kate I pull up face book on my cell and wait impatiently for it to load. The first thing I see the post of our relationship being over but under it there is a post from my acct. I squint at the phone as it pops up. Fuck me it is a picture. Not a good one either, the light is hazy but as I make it out I scream out in frustration. That fucker is posting pictures he took of me in his playroom. I am blindfolded and lying tied up on the bed. I drop the phone as I try to figure out how to make the picture go away.
As I fumble with it, my cell goes off with Chris's music but I cannot answer it before it goes to voicemail. Swearing to myself I manage to down the picture only to have another one come up. "FUCK!" I realize at once that Jose must be logged into my account.
Then a message pops up, "You didn't like that picture Ana? I have lots more to show your new boyfriend; maybe I will tag him in the next one."
"NO Jose please, stop this right now."
"Then come back home."
"What? You are blackmailing me to come back? Why?"
"I love you."
"That is not love that is bullshit."
"Are you sure you are not pregnant Ana?"
"WHAT?"
"You missed your last shot. Oh did I forget to give you that message?"
"You said you never wanted to marry me or have kids so why would you do that?"
"Well for all your bitching, a baby would keep you busy."
"That is not a reason to have a child. When was the appointment?"
"I don't' know, a few weeks ago."
"I HATE YOU!"
"Hate me or not, if you are pregnant you will never be free of me."
I slam my cell down in frustration and feel sick to my stomach. What are the chances? I should be fine right? Right?
Just then I see a car pull into Christian's driveway and thank god under my breath that he is here but just as I open my car door I see a woman get out of the passenger seat of his car. I blink looking at her. Tall blond who comes straight over to him reaching out for his hands. Who the hell is that?
My cell starts to buzz again over and over drawing my attention away. I look at it to see that Jose is now flooding my wall with pictures. Each one is worse than the last and then I see he is now tagging Christian in them. I jump into settings trying to figure out a way to disable tagging when my cell locks up on me. Swearing again I start crying. Please god do not let Christian see those.
I lean back slamming my door shut as my cell reboots and my mind races. Why didn't I know about these pictures and how many did he take? DAMN HIM! How can I get them destroyed?
I look up watching as Chris and this woman go into his house and then my cell starts to buzz again. There is a text from Christian telling me to get over to his place but my attention is drawn by the 10 face book notifications. I jump into my account trying to delete the pictures. I finally get them down then change the passwords locking Jose out of my account but I notice one picture I missed.
When I click it I miss and it opens up Christian's wall instead. My eyes are drawn straight to the relationship status. It says in a relationship when it was single just a few days ago. I pull up the information screen as the picture loads I start to cry again. It is the blond girl.
He doesn't love me because he loves someone else. It hits me like a knife to my heart and I cannot breathe. I have to get out of here. I came here to tell him that he is the one. When I was trying to get out of my head in that playroom he was the image I clung to. All the things he said to me echoed in my head. Weren't those things said in love? What about what he said in the car and the way he looked at me?
In a blind rage I quickly just deacted my face book acct and logged completely out of it. As my cell started going off I turned it off. Then I started the car and just drove. For hours I drove on and on feeling lost and empty inside. I had no idea where to go and I did not dare turn my phone back on. Finally just about out of gas I pulled into a small hotel off the side of the interstate.
Once inside the room I did not bother to turn on the lights but sat in the darkness on the bed my mind still racing. Christian is all I can think about. I see him and the first time we met. His smile as we talked and the way he made me laugh so easily. The first time he hugged me that night as he told me that I deserved better and in the car the way he looked at me. Did all that mean nothing?
As the hours passed slowly I gave up and let the flood of tears come out of me as the room grew darker and darker. I could not fall asleep thinking of it all. I was worried that Christian might have seen those pictures and was Jose still posting them? How could he be so hateful to me after all our time together?
Flitting in and out of nightmares I wake up as the sunlight floods into the room but I cannot face the day. I sit in the corner of the room just lost and numb. I am so scared of what happened and so confused. I feel sick and now I wonder it is because of this stress or am I pregnant? That thought alone makes me gag. I cannot be tied to him forever.
With nothing but time on my hands I find myself thinking back over the mistakes I have made that lead up to meeting Jose and agreeing to be his sub. Two failed relationships lead me here.
First a high school sweetheart who wanted more than I wanted at 16. He pushed and begged and pleaded for us to go all the way. At the time I was out of mind with worry that if I didn't give him what he wanted he would leave me but at the same time I saw a few of my friends hit by pregnancy scares. That was enough for me to say no let's wait. He did for two years until our senior year and that night he had planned for months. I was so nervous but he seemed to know exactly what he was doing and it barely hurt until midway through when he groaned out another girl's name.
The second hurt just as much. He was in a lot of my classes as a sophomore and we dated for a couple years. We had a good relationship but when he proposed to me it was a shock. He told me that he loved me and could never see himself with anyone else but then mentioned how much we would save on rent living together. Kate was my roommate then and she forbid me to move out. He hated that and hated Kate so he never came to our place. At the beginning of senior year I went to find him in his off campus apartment only to find him making out with his roommate. End of that.
So when I met Jose I was frustrated and tired of trusting only to be hurt so I accepted a submissive/dominant relationship so that I did not have to try anymore. I never ever planned on falling for him. All the time I thought it was just sex between us and I could turn off my heart was a lie. My heart fell for him despite my head trying to stay unaffected. And now he was my third failed relationship.
Was I unlovable? I never seemed to be enough for the men in my life. They all either cheated on me or were unhappy or both. Fuck...the more these thoughts haunted me the more I just wanted my best friend, I missed him and I needed to talk to him.
Missing Christian more and more every moment the days began to fade into each other. For 5 days I did nothing but sit in the darkness thinking then on the 6th day I could stand it no more I had to see him. At least a picture of him so I grabbed my laptop and as it booted up I wondered was he missing me at all. The screen came up to my face book log in and I froze, I did not want to open that back up.
So I created a new acct using a different name and went straight to Christian's wall. Lucky for me he did not have it closed to non-friends and I was able to see some of his posts and pictures. The relationship status was still there but his posts were few and far between. His pictures are what I stared at as I wondered what to do next. Did I dare to friend him and try to talk to him or not? Closing my eyes before I lost my nerve I clicked the friend request button.
The rest of the next day passes must like the others but then suddenly my new face book went off, Christian had accepted my request. I jumped to his page and now as his friend suddenly I saw post after post that I could not before. He had been looking for me. I see he had friended Kate since I disappeared and they have posted back and forth. Then I see a post that breaks my heart and I know in my heart it is meant for me.
Christian Trevelyan Grey
If only I could have kissed you just once.
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At those words I melt and immediately start looking for more. I spotted Jose in his friends list making me cringed. Then I eyed my cell phone and wondered if Christian had tried to reach me. Picking it up and holding it but I was not brave enough to turn it back on yet. So instead I plugged it in and let the thing charge overnight while I tossed in and out of nightmares.
In my dreams I saw Christian and I was with him finally about to tell him how I feel when suddenly Jose was there with those awful pictures. He drove Christian away and then was coming back after me taunting me about being pregnant. I woke up to vomit and hold my stomach in disgust. I knew then what I needed to do.
As the first light comes I got into my car and headed back towards the nearest town to get a pregnancy test I needed to put that worry to rest. Back at my room I took the test then hopped into the shower while I waited. I had a plan but it all depends on the results of that. With just a glance I let out a whoop of relief then dry off. One thing done and a few more to go.
I turned my cell back on and fired up my laptop at the same time. As my phone came life it went crazy buzzing non-stop as all the missed messages loaded. I had never seen it go off so much. Ignoring its noise I turned my attention to my face book and clicked on Chris's page. He was online. I started trying to figure out what to say to him after all this time.
Grabbing my finally quiet phone I paged through the messages. Jose texted me a few times. All threats about leaving him and about releasing all of the pictures. I ignored those and found some from Kate. Then I found what I wanted to see the ones from Christian. There were so many. They started about 20 minutes after I left him that voice mail and continue on and on. Each one wanted to know where I am and if I am safe. He texted every day I was gone and as I held the phone in my hands it went off again. My eyes widened as I see it was from him.
"Ana, I wish you would let me know you are alright. I miss you so much."
I cannot wait anymore I have to talk to him. I do not bother texting but dialed his number. He answered it right away, "Ana?"
"Yes." I whispered.
"Oh my god Ana! Are you alright?"
"I don't know, I think I am numb."
"Where the hell are you?"
"In a hotel in some little town. I drove till I ran out of gas."
I heard voices in the background then he came back to me, "do not move."
"Christian?"
"Just don't move."
I whispered to him "yes. I will not move." Then the line went dead. I sat there numb not moving and not sure what to do next. Lying down on my bed and I let my mind drift till I heard something outside. As fast as I could I sat up then raced to open my door; I saw that familiar car and step outside.
Christian stepped out of his car then I watched his eyes take in the sight of me. In a few strides he was next to me and for the first time since I left I felt safe as I wrapped my arms around him as the flood of tears began again. Without a word he picked me up and carried me inside.