- Second chapter for my dear readers, hope you like it :)

Chapter 2

Wistful Nightmare

If Lucy Heartfilia had to describe love in one word, it would be "Strange".

.

Strange because :

You want to see your treasured person as soon as possible. You want to spend time with them, feel and touch, want them to laugh at silly antics and just keep smiling. Just a tender, split-second touch causes your heart to beat faster, your body conditions to change and your expectations to rise tremendously.

Their sadness, their loneliness makes you feel vulnerable and you want them to cheer up as soon as possible. Their anger fears you, and you avoid doing anything which causes them to be mad at you. You can see through their disguised manners, and uncover their real feelings because you know they are hurting themselves. All of these are things are which you normally don't do for others, hence why it is strange.

.

But sometimes you have to hide it all. Your feelings, your emotions, you have to disclose them within your heart, no matter how much distressed you are. Because you want that person to be content, and for them you are willing to take on any risk, any trial.

Because their beaming face is your heartbeat and you don't your heart to die by reducing that smile to mere frowns. For that, you would compromise with anything, even if you have to die for them.

.

She knows it well because right now, she is experiencing this mystery. Her heart is crazy for a certain someone. At first it was just a suspicion but as she spent more time with him, she found out how wonderful he actually is. It was not long before, it turned into a fact. She thinks, he has the most charming smile in the entire world, though he rarely shows it. He is strong, caring, kind and selfless in true words. A bit mysterious, not that took her long for her to uncover the hidden sides of him. It makes her jump with joy whenever she learns something knew about him, though she rarely showed her excitement around others. It is just her and her heart. Her mind. Her conscience every time.

At first, she thinks his stripping habit was annoying and well, a bit disgusting especially when he strips down to his boxers. No no, It is not disgusting because of his body or anything, in fact that's another plus for him: She can admire him a bit more closely and well, he has a hot body no matter from which angle you see it. But because she wants him to be all hers, and only she should be allowed to ogle at him, not any fangirl, not any other woman, just her and only her.

There is only one thing she doesn't like,

"Her prince pays more attention to another woman, than he does to her."

At first, she felt that maybe it was just her but as time passed, she realized how distant he really has become. He doesn't talk with his teammate including her as much as before. He has become reserved, but it's not like he is ignoring them. He still cares for everyone as much as before and would go as far as dying for them. It's just... she wants to talk with a bit more, to joke with him and see his smirks and smugs. She is willing to let him read her unfinished novel if that can get him to return to his original once again.

Love makes you think of silly things...

If only she could confess her feelings... If only she possessed such confidence... She sighs at the end of every day, how she is unable to move on. How things aren't setting to right. She knows yet she isn't doing anything.

Time moves on without caring for anyone, and she is wasting every bit of it. She wants an opportunity, but she doesn't want to work for it. Rather, she wants an opportunity to come her way. It's a little selfish of her, but hey, she is a human being. Little does she knows, things actually might go her way once and for all... as long as she is willing to use the chance well, she might actually get to be closer to the ice mage better than ever.

/.\

Ever since she heard from the twin spirits, Lucy Heartfiilia has been freaking out. No way in her right mind she thought that the ice mage might actually be interested in her. Emphasize on Interested for God's sake! Such a revolution will make her go paranoid, unless she confronts the root of the problem herself. Yeah the twins have done it, they have revealed his apparently so-far-hidden feelings for her, something she never expected from the ice maker. He had become so distant lately too... always with the water mage. And when she's with him, he purposely looks away. He doesn't even bother to compliment her when she's looking cute (she assumes)

Unless these were the hints that he is actually into her.

Her heart races and she hugs the pillow tight, still in her pajama. A picture of an intense kiss shared with the ice maker comes into her mind, and she digs her face into her pillow.

"Nogoodnogood. It's Gray, you know. No w-way he would..."

It's not like she doesn't trust them, but it's still better to ask from the referred person directly. It is like a dream come true, but she doesn't want to living on false hopes.

She dresses up into a black shirt, and red skirt - keeping the sexy alive. Giving herself a thumbs up in front of the mirror, she puts the keys into her pocket and heads out after locking the door. Her heart is still pounding but she feels better as the cool breath strikes against her face. It feels good.

But it would feel better if he rubs his ice on her face... She blushes at the thought for the umpteenth time.

Finally, she arrives at the guild in anxiousness, expectations and excitement. as she gazed intently at the entrance, eyes dying to see a familar, handsome face with messy dark blue hair and cerulean eyes - someone whom everyone refers to as Gray Fullbuster.

"Come to think of it. Lucy Fullbuster has a nice ring to it."

And then she facepalms.

The moring has been a weird experience. For her. She is putting salt in her coffee. Then, she is smashing her head against the table. She even stepped on a banana (but avoided the fall, thanks to her ballerina skills from her younger days) Then the raven-haired man arrives and her face overheats, cheeks puffing out. She wants to talk yet she doesn't. She decides to give it more time. As the clocked ticks away, her heart flutters and blooms into a rosy color.

As he heads in her direction, she thinks she needs to say it. But how? The circle of thought moves round and round as an idea strikes her.

"Maybe I should pass a chit at him. Yeah, that would be perfect. As expected of you, Lucy!" She praised herself, grinning.

She writes the words "Outside. 5 PM" in her spidery hand-writing and tosses at his general direction as her heart leaps out. Only to find out that he has somehow been able to impressively ignore and walk ahead. Just great.

One method after another, all of them fail. One moment, she move where he is and call his name with her eyes closed, only to find out a very manly Elfman who tells her that he's not Gray, get your eyes checked if you are a man (shows just who needs the check-up more) The other moment she's telling Levy about this, and immediately regretting (because the unlimited questions just don't end)

In the end, she is just sighing at her supposed-to-be-perfect-but-actually-imperfect-it's-a-shock attempts at grabbing his attention.

The moment the sky turns orange, her heart stops for a moment. He was going to leave and she doesn't want him to go away yet. She needs to be brave, she tells her. So she decides to confront him once and for all.

Unexpectedly, the sentence comes wrong from her mouth. Just when she's going to ask it, a picture of the water mage comes in her mind. Just how is gonna take it? She will definitely cry. Maybe she will even commit...

"Gray... T-there is no... way gemini is true, right?"

She asks and mentally slapped herself at the the wrong choice of words. No, Juvia will definitely understand. Eventually someone will come in her love whom she will love and then. For now, she needs to correct herself.

"Actually-"

"Yes, we are just friends.."

Her mind is in loops. Her heart is confused. She passes her best smile she could manage on the spur of moment, and runs away at the awkwardness turn of events. Somewhere far, where no life exists so that she can cry to her heart's content. The misery. the disappointment. the distress, she wants it to vanish along with her fallen tears.

She cried and cried, till she no longer could.

From that moment and onward, she doesn't remember well. Maybe Natsu arrived? She did remember hugging someone and the sight of pink hair. Nevertheless, her memory feels hazy.

Nothing matters anymore. For she had decided that she wouldn't complain , never show her desperate side to anyone. She doesn't have the right anyways; she is not the ice maker's girlfriend, nor his life partner. She has no right over him.

Yes, she would just overcome her silly love by being closer to another guy. Everyone loves her and a certain pinkette friend of her together anyways. He is her best friend, and she admits. She has had her heart beating faster during some of the moments shared with him, anyways. Her guild-mates continuously tease her of him, and they regularly get misunderstood as a pair. She considers him as one of his best friend and he respects the fact, by doing the same. He even comforted her that day, when the world dawned around her. Yes, she would just be with him... then it will no longer hurt... Her heart will not feel like it's sinking anymore...

She has had enough of it. falling into pits of oceans and still not be able to die is painful... At times, she thinks, it is unfair, Why he can't be hers? Why no one teases her by his name?

Why does she have to be considerate of other peoples' feelings?

Why did she have to be in love...?

/.\

As she reaches the familar building standing tall, her feet halt right before the wide entrance. Puffing out cold air, she rubs both of her hands against each other, before putting them into her jacket and quietly steps into the building.

Her eyes roam across the roam before widening ever so slightly. A held back sigh accidentally escapes from her own very mouth as she enclose them. Ignoring a certain pair of youth and cheerful conversation the two were having, she answers the joyful greetings with a seemingly cheerful but actually forced voice. He glances at her, and somehow on impulse, she passes an automatic smile at him. She sees his eyes widening, before he beams the most gentle, she had ever seen. For a moment, her heart throbs, her fingers jam at her chest and her cheeks almost redden.

She reminisces about the old times. Her and him smiling at each other. It has happened so many times before, why does this particular one feels so special?

"Is there still hope?"

She wonders.

He quickly looks away from her, and focuses on the blunette instead. He beams the exact same towards her.

That's when her mirror of hopes cracks.

"I see... So we both deserve the same smile..."

Hands tied behind her back, She tries to divert her attention by humming a cheery tone.

Clenching the place where it burns, her heart tears apart but still she manages to move on to her group of friends. She grimaces at the redhead, pinches the cheek of the young air dragonslayer and finally turns towards Natsu.Time for another act, another lie, another drama..."

She chuckles, before slamming her fist with his and embraces him. She can hear everyone's screams, the teasing, the noise, the gazes and she just pretends to like it. She has gotten used to it, and to seeing Natsu's clueless face. In a way, she is just using him, and she finds this despicable and hateful, but there is no harm in trying. Hoping that maybe, just maybe, the ice maker will get jealous, take her hand in his manly one and shout at her for making him uneasy, for making him feel so despicable so far. That he wants her, he loves her, but it will probably never happen.

It is nothing else, other than being a important, but a shameful secret.

"It is her secret..."

She can feel her invisible tears, the faint hiccups, the thick air. And then she vows, she won't show her weak side to anyone. She decorates her face with a grin, and tugs harder because the secret is bound to be concealed. It will forever be a miserable side of hers, which she can't help but love even more regardless of the inaudible sighs and silent screeches.

.

If only this could be a nightmare, a terrible dream which would break eventually. She would open her eyes, and scream his name loudly, he would be right besides her. Hold her tight and whisper sweetly 'the magic words'

"Really, that's why you are naive. So easily fooled. I meant the opposite words. Yeah, I..."

"I love you..." She whispered and shut her eyes painfully, completing her thought.

But looking into reality, the fate wants her being to turn into a desert, a place without life. So she will give in, she will accept her fate.

.

"She will become a heartless being without any feelings...

.

.

.

She will turn into a rosy-red flower, no longer withered but hollow from inside..."

...

Writer's Corner

I am so glad to see the positive reviews. Thanks!

Gray smiled at Juvia after Lucy just cuz the poor guy was too happy to get a smile from his dear stellar mage. You can say he smiled in Juvia's general direction, but you know misunderstandings... they can emerge out of anything.

I am not going to write a sequel, I think this end is good like this. Super-angsty, I hurt Lucy and Gray so much, forgive me haha. Instead,I wrote an alternative ED instead. Hope you guys like it ^^