'I just want something that's not complicated.' Janet groaned at her reflection in the familiar mirror of the MIT office toilets.

'We're not.. complicated... are we?'

Rachel turned away, afraid that her face would betray her hurt. She was trying her hardest lately to keep herself on an even keel around Janet, to be there for Jan when her friend needed her, instead of being the emotional one.

'We're not normal.' Janet snorted, but she smiled a bit too.

'Yeah, well,' Rachel's heart gave a little jump, which she quickly suppressed. It was a relief to see Janet smile.

'Normal's overrated.'

She turned to face the mirrors too and leaned over sideways until she gently nudged shoulders with the smaller woman. Very gently, Jan looked so fragile.

'Eh? Isn't life with me just a thrill a minute?'

'Yes. Well.' Janet sounded decided. 'I think I could do with a few less thrills just at the moment thank you.'

'Okay.' Rachel spoke very carefully. She slid her body back away from Janet a couple of inches. Don't take offence. This is not about you. This is about Janet. Just give her a bit of space. She looked in the mirror to gauge the reaction in the big blue eyes which were still a little watery round the corners. Jan was holding herself together but the effort was clearly visible and Rachel was not going to be the one to make that any harder for her.

Inside, a little part of Janet Scott's brain laughed, a tiny fond exasperated laugh. Rachel probably had no idea how endearingly wary and caring she looked. She probably would have pulled a disgusted face if she had. Not many people saw that look on her face. But Janet wasn't going to have her best friend treating her like a china doll. She turned towards her.

'Not you, mush. If you start deserting me I'll really fall apart.'

Rachel visibly relaxed. 'I would hug you, but I'm scared I'd break ya.' She grinned. Janet snorted and slid her arms around her.

'As if.' She rested her head on Rachel's shoulder and drew a long breath.

'Eh, are you saying I'm not hard enough? I used to have quite a reputation round our way, I'll have you know.'

'In your dreams,' muttered Janet into her neck and followed it up with a quick kiss.

Rachel shivered. This is not the time. She drew back then and planted a firm but brief kiss on Janet's lips. Now was definitely not the time to be getting too involved. Jan was still too vulnerable for one thing, and for another, Gill had more or less given Rachel the go-ahead to go check on Janet, but she had also given her a job to do. There was no saying when the boss herself would arrive to see where Janet had got to and, typical Godzillla, would expect Rachel to be back at work. Neither of them really needed to be caught out right now either. They wouldn't want any... misunderstandings.

Janet picked up on her shift of tone and switched the conversation back to the case, glad to concentrate on something less emotional. The issue of whether they had to charge Daysha Kaye for sexual assualt seemed to be sorted, but they were still no closer to solving the murder they had started with. Janet even smiled slightly when Rachel relayed Gill's opinion that she was less stroppy when busy.

"You haven't been stroppy for hoursh Janet returned and the two shared a look.

Hmmm thought Rachel, that might have something to do with snogging you in the back alley this afternoon. She didn't say anything, but she could tell that Janet was thinking about the same thing.

...

They really shouldn't have. It was the first break they had had all day, straight out of an interview that had disturbed, though not surprised, them both. The locker room was empty. And likely to stay that way, everyone else had taken breaks at more usual times. Rachel had already dug out her fags and opened the door to the alley when Janet stepped up close behind her.

'D'you fancy one?'

Slow as always at these moments, Rachel turned with her mouth already open on a question.

'Not a fag, obviously. You've got fags. Do you...' Janet nudged the door to behind them. 'D'you fancy a quick snog?'

It was the closest they had come to talking about it.

It was happening more and more frequently though, and Rachel wondered when she would stop being surprised whenever it was Janet who initiated it. If she ever would. She shoved her fags in her jacket pocket. Think about it later. Thinking wasn't the important thing just then.

What was important was leaning back against the wall, reaching for Janet, unable to stop a smile. What was important was sliding their arms around each other and pressing their lips together, letting little pecks deepen to slow real kisses. It was important to notice the sensation of Janet's mouth tugging at her lower lip and her own tongue sliding round just inside Jan's lips. What was holding each other close and taking it slow and easy. Important to cradle Janet's head just so, to remember what those fingers felt like on her cheek, to kiss each corner of her mouth when they half paused for a breath.

.

They really shouldn't have. Janet knew this. She really shouldn't have. And it wasn't the case, exactly. She was too professional for that, far too experienced. Yes, there was something utterly bleak about the whole situation and that young girl's bitter acceptance: gA nice girl went looking for excitement and got out of her depth.h But no worse than any other day. And Janet refused to let those words touch a nerve. She refused to think about the last person she had snogged in that same alleyway or all the tension and conflict that had arisen from that... situation. She refused to think about what she was doing now, with Rachel. Definitely not in the same category. Preferably not in any category at all. It was just... something she needed. Something they obviously both needed, judging by the way Rachel moaned slightly as she teased her mouth open. Moaning. Was that new? She hadn't really been thinking about what they had been doing very much. It certainly sent deeper tingles through Janet than she wanted to think about. In fact, if she was honest, she had been trying very hard not to think about any of it. Yes. Bugger off brain. Stop thinking. After all, this was hardly the time for thoughts.

This was the time for slipping a hand inside Rachel's jacket, for pulling kisses slower and slower till it almost felt that they were outside of time. It was the time for realising that the two of them were breathing in rhythm and for noticing that Rachel's eyelids were flickering like someone rapidly dreaming, a sensation that was so delicate against her skin that it caused a deep inexplicable ache to rise in Janet's chest. Another thing not to think about. Instead, Janet focused on drawing out another of those tiny precious moans and trying to swallow it.

...

They really shouldn't have, Janet reflected as she stood in the toilets, an hour or so later as the door banged behind a departing Rachel. There were a lot things they shouldn't have done. Being separated at work lately seemed to have made them worse. gIth didn't seem to be affecting anything else though. Harmless. She would keep telling herself that. And it was no good thinking about gwhat ifsh. If Rachel had been smoking her fag at the proper time and had accompanied Janet back up to the office, that whole blow up with Andy could have been a lot worse. Either that or it would have happened some other time. It had been on the cards.

Janet was gathering herself finally before going back into the office to face the fray. To face Gill, and the team, and Andy. She could do it. She just wanted to make sure she was altogether back into herself before she went out there, altogether tied down and strong and self-controlled again. She could do it. She took one last steadying breath and checked her appearance in the mirror. Still there.

At least , she told her reflection silently, at least you know you are loved.