A/N: Basically a filler chapter guys, sorry if I disappoint. I just need to establish some things, hence why I'm probably making it seem like the longest day/night in history. My apologies! It's only building up to more drama, and isn't that a good thing? I had so much inspiration for this chapter, though, it's insane. I also have to say that when this story ends (unfortunately soon), if I were to leave it an open ending, would any of you want a sequel? I doubt so, but the thought's been in my head for some time now. Anyway, thank you all for reading, and for your reviews/favourites/alerts, etc.! It's highly appreciated! Because of your feedback, I feel all the more determined to continue writing and not give up. xo.

Pure Intentions
Chapter Eighteen: My Darkest Hour

When Chris and Jay got back to the hotel room that night, it was clear that something was bothering the older man. During the car ride back he had remained quiet which, though a normal occurrence, was more detectable than usual. Even his lack of habits had given him away too. Chris always – even without playing music – drummed idly on the side of the door's handle or the steering wheel, depending on where he was sitting. It was something he did subconsciously and something Jay had gotten used to after hearing it for so long. Without the rhythm of knuckles against a surface to fill the unintended silence, the atmosphere in the vehicle had been deafening and anomalous.
Jay knew unquestionably that there was something on Chris' mind. Otherwise he would've been at least fulfilling the aforementioned inclination or at least humming along to the radio (which had remained off; Jay hadn't been certain if Chris would mind or not). So right when the two stepped into their finely decorated and moderate-sized suite, the younger of the two got down to the point.

"What's up Chris?" he asked evenly as they both kicked off their shoes by the doorway's closet.

Said man looked at him for the first time since getting on the elevator and blinked, apparently having zoned out for the majority of the concluding evening. It took him only a few seconds to recognize that he had been asked a question.

"Huh?" he looked around as if he had only noticed where they were, which, given his distractedness, Jay did not put past him to have done. "What do you mean?"

They helped each other out of their jackets and while Chris flung his over the back of one of the small table located near the far right wall's chairs, Jay hung his up neatly on one of the wooden hangers left in the closet. Despite how mindlessly messy he could be, Captain Charisma could never not hang up his coats. He suspected it was a trait he'd inherited from his perfectionist of a mother.

"What I mean is you haven't exactly been yourself, Chris," Jay explained, pulling off his socks. "Since we got back from the restaurant, you've been dead quiet and not a word has come from your mouth until now. I know something's bothering you, why don't you tell me about it?"

Another indicative sign of his slight OCD was that he always needed for his socks to be folded together. Stuffing the small ball of black fabric into his suitcase, he rummaged around for and retrieved a pair of green plaid pyjama pants, as well as a plain grey cotton t-shirt he slept in almost every night. After also grabbing a clean pair of boxers, he turned to look at Chris, who was now sitting on the farther of the two beds.
"You know I'm only worried about what might me making you so...solemn." Despite himself, Chris grinned. He threw his still denim-clad legs over the side of the bed and stared amusedly at Jay.

"Solemn?" he repeated, mockingly impressed. "Your vocabulary's improving...and I wonder what – or rather, who – could be the cause of it."

"Shut up." Jay shook his head, laughing a bit. "I'm not a total air-head."

Y2J's grin only broadened, his mouth open for a witty retort, and noticing this, Jay resumed his main purpose before anything could emerge. "So are you going to tell me or what?"

"I..." He paused, most likely to map out how to say what he planned on to, but then continued. "I'm worried about Violet."

Jay stood up from kneeling aside his luggage and set his sleeping clothes down on the bed, trotting over to where his lover sat. He wasn't very surprised with Chris' answer, to be honest. He kind of had a feeling what the matter was had something to do with his younger sister. Often times Chris thought about her a lot, what with his having taken care of her most of her life and it was hard not to, especially since he had grown highly accustomed to always needing to protect her and make sure she was OK.
The look on his face told Jay a few more details, though. This time it wasn't only insistent and natural fretting over her well-being, this time is was because there was something genuinely troubling to be concerned about. The fairly leaner man joined his fellow Canadian. Oh, yes, there was something definitely off-beat here. Chris' body language said it all: his slumped shoulders, tensed eyebrows, and antsy foot movements were very clear as to his anxiety. (Jay once, directed by his mother's relentlessness and notion that it could be useful, had taken a class on how to read body language. Though sometimes he forgot what certain gestures meant, he could recall a particular few.)

Jay put on hand on Chris' arm, his touch nothing but gentle and offering of ease. "Why?"

Chris glanced down at their connected skin and felt himself calm down a little. He exhaled relaxingly and elaborated. "She has these dreams," he began, wary of the sort of haunted tone that usually took on his voice when he said any of this to anyone. "These nightmares that just terrify me to no end – not to mention her too, of course, but I'm so afraid. I'm afraid that in the middle of the night I'll wake up and she'll be...she'll have...suffocated, or something." He tried to make himself sound strong, but there is a fear resurrecting in his eyes.

Jay saw this but didn't interrupt, watching Chris attentively. "It sometimes almost comes down to that. In the middle of the night or sometimes around 2 A.M she'll either be screaming or gasping for air and it's...it's the most frightening sound I could ever imagine."

Jay's eyes widened impossibly more than they already had. His hand slid down Chris' forearm and interlocked the two's fingers. "And this happens every night?"

The man beside him shakes his head. "Not every night but sometimes...It usually happens a few times a month. Lately it's been...OK, but even though she's sleeping over at Shawn's, I'm worried it'll happen tonight. I'm always the one with her and maybe her unfamiliarity will set it off...Maybe it'll make it more horrifying than it usually is..."

"Do you know what causes these dreams?"

Chris nodded. "The fire," he said simply.

Jay understood. "She can't remember it happening?"

"She was only four. Most people don't remember anything from that age, let alone something as horrible."

The Toronto-native took this in. "Does she know?"

"Of course she knows...I just don't go into detail when it's brought up, but we hardly talk about it anyways."

"But..." Different shades of blue fused into one in an apprehensive gaze. "What if talking about it would help her get over it? Well, not completely of course, but what if it stopped her nightmares?" Jay spotted Chris' obvious hint of disapproval but resumed his theory. "I mean, I know it doesn't sound promising but what if it put her mind to rest? Perhaps just a conversation about it out in the open could cure her of these episodes—"

"Or make them worse by bringing back the full, unwanted memories?"Chris let go of his lover's hand and stood up. "I'm sorry but she's already been to a therapist—"

Jay briskly followed him up. "But you're her brother," he pointed out, "not some self-righteous, overpaid shrink."

"And how does that change things?"

"Are you kidding? It changes things a lot. It happened to both of you, not just her. You should be able to talk about it and not hide from it in fear of trauma."

Chris opened his mouth to argue but Jay wouldn't have it. "Things will only get worse if you don't talk about them...just like problems do when you don't face them." He entwined their both of their hands. "Look, just try. I know it's not my place, but please just try and discuss things with Violet. I'm pretty sure that she needs to know that you're not still tormented by what happened. She needs to know that you can overcome your past in order for her to do the same thing. You've led by example all her life, right?"

The older Irvine nodded.
"And she's followed every time?"

Again he confirmed with a nod.

"Then do it again. Let her know her big brother's gotten over the most unfortunate times of his life. Eventually she will too."

"But I haven't—"

"And that's perfectly understandable. No one would ever be able to surmount what you've been through completely."

"But I—"

"Please...just take my advice. I know you're more than capable of handling things on your own – especially when those things have to do with your own personal matters – but I'm certain that this is one of those occasions where you need to trust somebody else's opinion."

Chris stilled and didn't insert any of his plausible objections. Jay took this as a good sign that he was nearly convinced.

"Besides, if you can't do it for me, you can surely do it for her."

With encouraging and pleading eyes as a very helpful aid, Jay knew he had gotten through to Chris, who exhaled anxiously and nodded. "OK," he said, voice noticeably wavering, "OK, I will."

Jay smiled. "OK," he repeated, relieved. He then lightly grasped Chris' chin in one hand and used his thumb to massage his bottom lip affectionately. "You know this is the side of you I love most."

Chris' sombre countenance gradually became playful. "Oh yeah? And what side is that?"

"The protective, vulnerable one."

"As opposed to...?"

"The one that makes you seem like a total jack-ass."

And Chris couldn't help but laugh at that as he leaned in for a kiss as a thank you for Jay's wise and helpful insight.

/

Meanwhile, Shawn and Violet were already prepared for sleep.

Lying in Shawn's incredibly comfortable bed with his arms wrapped around her, Violet decided that this was the most happy she had ever been in her life. Not only was she dating a man who actually treated her with respect as much as adoration, her brother was all right with it. He himself had found somebody of the same warm-heartedness and it was amazing to know that he was finally allowing her some room to grow. Maybe after all this time she was at last accepting her own life away from him, even if she still traveled alongside him as a result of his profession and didn't have a steady job or residence. In due time, she would eventually but for now, she was perfectly fine with where she was; especially right at that very moment.

"I can't believe you have a water bed," she giggled, both awed and amused at that fact. "You of all people."

Shawn merely laughed along with her, not taking any offense. He himself had been surprised when he had taken to it a few years ago and bought one for himself after he and his wife had first separated."It helps my back," he explained, grinning.

Violet grinned too and settled back against the pillows, looking up at him while he peered at her from on his side. "Does it really?"

He nodded, patting the mattress empathetically. "Every night in this bed is a good night for me," he said. He then leaned down a bit to place a kiss on her temple and pulled away, smiling. "You just happen to be making this one even better."

"I love you."

Shawn kissed her lips this time, moving against her slowly and soundly and only removing himself when the need for oxygen was imminent. "I love you too."

After another few doting pecks, the couple relaxed and snuggled closely into each other, letting the leisure and peacefulness of nightfall lull them. It was pure relief and sumptuousness to finally be in one place, at least for the night, that wasn't a hotel. The complementary feeling of being back home in San Antonio did not go unappreciated, either. Despite her having been here a multitude of times before, Violet had never really gotten the vibe of the city. Needless to say, she was most definitely enjoying it now.

But, frustratingly, even with the most luxurious of accommodations and most satisfying of positions and each other's company, neither could find sleep as instantly as they would've liked. As tired as both were, it felt like they were irritatingly wide awake, so to maybe kill some time before they lost consciousness, Shawn let his curiosity get the better of him. "Hey...Vi?"

"Mm?" The response was not exactly laced with the effects of sleep or intentions of it, for that matter. He smiled at how endearing he thought it was. "Can I ask you something?"

Resisting multiple sarcastic remarks, she merely turned over onto her side and smiled. "Shoot."

He hesitated before asking: "How was University?"

At that, she didn't say anything.

"I mean, you've told me so much about University itself, but never your life outside it..." he trailed off, noticing how inconsiderate he surely must've been coming off as. "But uh, if you have a good reason why you didn't, then I'm sorry for bringing it up..."

The woman beside him laughed at his fright of having possibly troubled her with her own past. "Shawn, it's OK," she assured, reaching out to stroke his shoulder. He calmed, knowing that he hadn't said anything he shouldn't have, which, he must admit, was growing to be one of his less excusable habits. "I just didn't see the necessity of telling you, you know?"

He bobbed his head in understanding.

"But since you're so cute," she teased, twirling one of his strands of hair in her fingers gently, "I will."

The wrestling veteran couldn't suppress the good-natured scoff that escaped him. "I'll have you know that I am not just cute, I am—"

"A sexy-boy? Not my boy-toy?" She giggled, smirking. "I received the memo, Mr. Wrestlemania. Sent back when your head was larger than life."

He glared playfully at her.

"It still is, in fact."

"You love my head."

"Hunter does."

Shawn blinked while she laughed hysterically, his confusion only spurring her on. "What? What does that mean?" He mulled it over, but he still didn't get it. "I don't – oh! Violet!" He scrunched his face up. "For a 'mature' woman, you have such a dirty mind!" But despite this, he was laughing too.

"I inherited it from Chris," she confessed shamelessly, beaming proud.

Once the laughter died down, she got back to the original subject. "Can I get back to my story now? Or are you going to bring yourself up and eventually leave yourself open to perverted attacks again?"

He chuckled. "I'm finished."

"Good," she sighed contentedly, "anyway, another reason why I didn't mention anything was because that was when I met Mathew."

At the mention of her ex-fiancé's name, he visibly stiffens. He's been reminded by Chris of what happened between, or rather, of what Mathew did, and hearing it again isn't going to make it any less insufferable, let alone when Violet herself is narrating the events.

"Actually..." he says, coming to terms, "I think that's why I asked."

She bit her lip a bit, nodding, and went on. "Well, when I went to University, I had a job as a waitress in a cafe off-campus. It was...decent, and I was at least making enough for groceries for the next two weeks. I didn't mind it, but the customers were kind of...sleazy. Whenever I worked there was hardly a shift where I didn't get hassled by the guys who came there, but one time there was a bunch of them. They were from out of town, riding in a recreation van, and looked like high school boys coming in for a basketball tournament or something.

"Anyway, I was serving the table they were sitting at and they would not relent with the lame attempts at flirting. A few asked for my number, insisted on asking me questions...that sort of stuff. I put up with it until – I'm not kidding – one of the older-looking guys tried to grope me—"

"Did anybody else see?" Shawn asked hurriedly, "Did you slap him?"

Violet couldn't help but melt over his protectiveness. "I didn't slap him, unfortunately, but somebody did see. That somebody was—"

"Mathew," he finished flatly.

She nodded. "The one and only."

"What did he do?" he tried not to frown too much.

"He defended my honour, you could say. Out of nowhere he appeared, giving the hands-y guy a long lecture about feminism and how females in the workplace are not to be disrespected. Especially when they're serving your food." She allowed herself a small smile.

"'Not to be disrespected?'" he quoted harshly. "And what? That didn't apply to females who are about to become your wife?"

Violet gave a simple shrug. "I guess not," she said.

Shawn realized his words. "I'm sorry."

"It's OK." Another shrug. "He was different then...I think he just changed when it came to mind that he was going to be tied down to one woman."

There was no bitterness or resentment in her reminiscing at all, only traces of her having gone over it beforehand and genuinely feeling nothing emotional when it came to it. That sort of made it better for him to listen.

"I was tied down to a woman once," he offered, trying to lighten the mood, "she was the one who changed." He was applauded with a pat on his bicep.

"Depressing humour...I like it."

"Thank you," he bowed from where he was now sitting up. "But back to what you were saying..."

"He basically insulted the guy's intelligence, respect for women, and his moral integrity all in one shot. When he was done, I knew."

"Knew what?" He didn't think he wanted to hear this.

"That I was going to end up dating him, one way or another. Sure enough, when my shift was over, he caught me before I could leave and told me that to thank him for earlier, that I should go on a date with him."

This made Shawn grimace. "A bit cocky, wouldn't you think?"

Violet rolled her eyes, only because he had kind of been the same way towards her too, once. "That's what I did think at first. But he seemed nice, and later I found out that he went to the same University. So I agreed."

"And you got engaged when?"

"Um...around a year and a half after our first month of seeing each other." She estimated, now lying on her back, her elbow sore from her resting her weight on it for too long.

He was reluctant to ask the next question but managed. "And...you two were in love?"

She glanced at him, lips turned up in amusement. "Yeah..." she looked back at the ceiling. "Very much."

Under the blanket, his hand located hers and intertwined their fingers, staring back at her. If he hated asking that, what falls from his mouth afterwards is one he absolutely loathes. "When did you find out he was...cheating?"

She wasn't phased, not that he could see. When she was thinking about it, she looked rather...dulled about it, he noted. He wondered if she still felt anything about the situation at all.

"Four or five months before our wedding, I think." She stated, quite plainly. He couldn't comprehend how easy it is for her, but was glad for it all the same. "Caught him with two of my bridesmaids and one of his ex-girlfriends."

Shawn's eyes widened. She saw this and laughed. "Not at once, silly!"

HBK blushed a bit. "Of course not," he mumbled, embarrassed for thinking such a thing.

"The first time was...well, I saw them close and I thought something was up. I didn't do anything about it, though. She was, back then, one of my closest friends and I didn't believe she'd do that to me. So I left it. The second time, he basically had her hand up her skirt and I still didn't act upon it. I interrogated him later, but he denied everything; he convinced me he was merely helping her 'readjust' and that I had drunk too much and I still believed him."

"Blindly in love?"

"Desperately, hopelessly, foolishly."

He gave her a sympathetic look and squeezed her hand, letting her know he was here and would never do such a thing. She rewarded him with a kiss to the cheek.

"The third time...was me walking in on him and the girl he'd dated before me. You know...actually in bed together this time."

"I'm sorry."

"Chris was livid, honestly. You thought you had seen him angry on television, well the act is tamer than the action. If I weren't so devastated, I would have been wary of the murder charges that could've followed his fury."

"I probably would've reacted the same way, you know. In Chris' position, it's hard not to be angry at a guy that cheats on his little sister. Especially with how close you two are."

The younger Irvine pressed her free hand to her heart. "Sometimes we may...disagree on things, have our little brother/sister spats, but who doesn't fight with their sibling from time-to-time? I'm so glad I have him; he's practically raised me all our lives and doesn't use it for leverage against me. Instead he only wants from me my promises that I'll be there for him and that I won't ever leave."
She fights tears from her eyes, but it's not an easy battle. "I wouldn't ever, he knows that."

Wrapping an arm underneath her form, Shawn pulled her closer towards him and Violet did the same. "I'm sorry...gone away from the point."

"It's OK," he comforted, his warmth and embrace a blessing. His soothing words even more so.

She continued on. "We were engaged for another year and a half, so by the time I ended it, I was nearly finished school."

"How long has it been since you seen him?"

"It's been nearly five years since I graduated...so about then."

"Oh." He registered this. "It's been a while."

"Uh-huh." Her voice is muffled and slightly drowsy. She must be falling asleep. He looked up at the clock sitting on the nightstand on beside the bed. Midnight. He had a flight to catch in several hours, so he decided he should get to sleep soon.

"Violet?"

"Mhm?"

So cute, he thinks. "Kiss?" he asks, hoping he isn't asking too much or preventing her from sleep. Nestled in between his arms, Violet tiredly leaned up and obliged.
Shawn grinned. "I love you."

"I love you too."

It only takes minutes, but before Shawn can say goodnight, Violet's asleep, the steady rise and fall of her chest as an indicative sign and the starting of a snore one as well.

He has to leave in the morning, early in the morning, but he's made this night with her count and nothing makes him any happier.

/