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Disclaimer: Trust me, if I owned either Inuyasha or Doctor Who, you would know.

—The Doctor (AKA The Muttering Madalien)—

"My aura?"

Kagome looked back at the man she was currently lounging on, picking up on the interest mixed with curiosity. "Yep."

She watched as his two brown eyebrows dipped, furrowing in concentration. His soft brown gaze shifted idly to the ceiling. "Sensitive and aware, but you're not telepathic though," he muttered under his breath. "Psychic? No, that's not it either…"

As he mumbled to himself, Kagome tuned out from the nonsensical babble to take another sweeping look of the room. "So, where am I anyway?"

"My ship," the man said, only pausing for a moment in his mutterings to give her an offhand answer before going on.

Ship? Kagome thought, unconsciously mouthing the word. "It's not like any ship I've seen before…" she murmured, shifting to peer at the large tube in the middle, surrounded by some sort of console that was fitted with various levers, switches, buttons, and other odds and ends. Definitely not in the Feudal Era anymore though…

"Right, well, you seem to be well enough now. Can you get off me, or do you need another moment?"

Turning, Kagome stared at the man. "You're a bit rude, aren't you?" she muttered.

He blinked, as if didn't even realize, before he gave her a cheery smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Ah, that's me. Rude and not ginger."

She stared. "Right…"

Not quite understanding him, Kagome only nodded slowly with raised eyebrows and made a move to slide off his pinstriped-clad lap. She staggered a bit when she put her feet to the ground, legs a bit weak, and the man's hands shot out to steady her. Her own hands grasped at his elbows so she didn't make a face plant. "Thanks," she muttered, cheeks flushing in embarrassment, and she cleared her throat. Her eyes flickered up to the man's amused face and his crinkled, dancing brown eyes. "Trip here must have taken a bit out of me…" and she pulled away, her hands sliding down his forearms and her fingers brushing against his own before she stepped away.

Once their fingers swept against bare skin, a shock passed through and they jerked back from each other as if electrocuted. Confused, Kagome watched as the man stared at his hands, her own still tingling. "Oh, that tickled," he mused, blinking in bemusement.

Before Kagome could even react, the man's hands were slipping into his pockets and he had pulled out some slim, silver device in the shape of a thick pen and decked out with a blue fixture at the end. She started when he pointed it at her, a long, lean finger pressed against the button, and a bright blue light blinded her vision while whirring sounded in her ears.

The man froze suddenly and the blue light vanished, leaving Kagome to blink out the spots. "Oh," he suddenly uttered. "Oh. What is this?" Eyes still unfocused, she watched silently as he shook his head quickly. "No, no that doesn't…" he trailed off, eyes lingering across her skin, and if Kagome didn't know better, she would have taken that stare to mean something akin to desire—desire for her—but she did know better.

That wasn't a stare of a red-blooded man; it was the stare of a scientist with a puzzle wrapped up in a big, pretty red bow presented right before him.

The man cleared his throat suddenly. "That doesn't matter," he mumbled, whirling on the spot and going to the console. "When and where?" he demanded, louder than what was necessary.

Kagome blinked, the question and his sudden change in disposition throwing her off. "Excuse me?"

The man shot her an exasperated look border-lining pitying from over his shoulder. His voice was a slow as his stare was patronizing. "I have to take you back wherever you came from, of course. You can't just stay here, can you?" he said as if it was obvious.

Affronted, Kagome sniffed, straightening. "Fine, whatever. Village of Edo, Japan, but why do you need to know when?" she asked, wanting to know.

But he only just waved her off. "Just tell me already," he said impatiently.

Kagome huffed, crossing her arms. "Really rude," she muttered under her breath, but relented. "May 3rd, 1502 then, please and thank you." Sarcasm was practically dripping from her tone. "And who are you, anyway?"

"Call me the Doctor," he replied absently.

"The Doctor?" Kagome repeated blankly, crossed arms faltering in confusion. "Doctor who?"

"Just the Doctor," he said automatically as he started working the controls. He paused for a bit before asking, "And you?" as if he'd only just remembered to ask as well.

She rolled her eyes. "Kagome," she replied, and the man nodded absently. She wondered if he even actually heard.

He had already twisted some green, sparkling roller on the console and was in mid-pull of a lever before he froze. "Wait, what?" he squeaked, turning to her.

Kagome shot him an expectant look. "Well? Come on then, take me back," she prompted, flicking a hand in a 'hurry it up' gesture.

"But," the Doctor halted helplessly, staring at her as if she had just gone off and grown another head. He studied her closely, face fixed with such an intense expression, as if he was grasping for answers that just weren't there. "That's not right," he murmured slowly.

Staring back, Kagome scrunched her nose at him. "What d'you mean?"

The Doctor didn't answer—instead, he strode over to her, grabbed her by the shoulders and leaned in. Kagome squeaked at the sudden invasion of space and meant to move back but found that his hands held her still, unexpectedly strong for someone of his lean stature. She scowled then, exchanging her surprise for irritation.

Opening her mouth, she barked out a protest, "Oi, what ar—!" before stopped short when the man took a strand of hair and gave a delicate sniff. Her mind stuttered at the sight. What in the hell…? "A-are you sniffing me?" she stammered out, eyes wide.

"Yes, yes I am," the man replied casually. "Now shush for a moment," and because Kagome didn't really know how to react to that, to any of it really, she acquiesced. Dropping her hair, the Doctor took her arm next and sniffed at her sleeve, eyes narrowing in thought.

Kagome squawked in disbelief as he licked the back of her hand.

When she yanked to get her hand back, he let her take it without protest. Gaping at him as he smacked his lips, eyes squinted in concentration and a grimace on his lips, Kagome blinked as he smiled suddenly and straightened. Leaning back on his heels, he stared down at her, his face the picture of triumph.

"To answer your earlier question, I meant that despite the authentic early-sixteenth century clothing you're wearing—which to be honest, I had originally thought to be just incredibly well-preserved—you have impeccable hygiene for someone living in that time. You obviously bathe regularly and your teeth are not only intact, but they are straight and white—not characteristic of a person of that time."

As he spoke he paced around her, eyeing her up and down, taking her stunned expression with delight as he charged on.

"I can smell the vanilla-lavender shampoo in your hair and tasted the chemicals of the apple and pear scented wash you used, which, I might add, is a disgusting scent and the taste of the extract is horrible—the pear I mean, apples are lovely." As he rambled, he had reached over to tug a strand of her hair. "The vanilla-lavender wouldn't be my first choice, but you're human and a female, so what can you do?"

Kagome leveled him with an outraged glare at that, making him wince.

"Ah, that was rude, wasn't it? Sorry," he said, and though he was sheepish he didn't really seem to actually mean the apology. "In any case, shampoo wasn't even invented until the 1700s in the Mughal Empire, never mind that the chemicals used in your products puts them to be in the early twenty-first century, so."

He turned to her, a stern expression on his face and his arms crossed, "Imagine my confusion when you ask me to take you to a time period that is approximately five hundred years before your own? Somewhere in the 2002 region, I'd wager."

Kagome stared at him, mouth slack. She finally found her voice after a moment. "Don't you need to breathe?" she finally demanded.

His expression wavered at her reaction, but he recovered easily enough. "Respiratory bypass system," he said airily, as if that explained everything and was no big deal.

Kagome took that as a 'not as much as you' and filed that away to be dumbfounded at for another time. "And…you got all of that by a couple of sniffs and a lick?"

The brunet gave her a smile that was too smug for her tastes, all but pouncing on the slightest hint of wonder he detected coloring her tone. "Impressive, isn't it?"

Oh, he was practically preening.

So, Kagome snorted in reply, not wanting to give him any satisfaction. "Creepy, is more like it," she shot back dryly, taking sadistic pleasure when his face fell. "What are you, a demon?"

The Doctor raised his eyebrows at that. "Oh, now I'm really interested," he murmured, eying her closely.

Kagome leaned back on instinct. "Oi, no more sniffing or licking!" she warned him.

Practically giggling, he leaned away. "Not a demon, me. Just an alien. Superior Time Lord biology at your service," he told her with grandiosity.

"Alien," Kagome muttered faintly, stunned. "You're an alien…"

The Doctor gave her a wide grin and a succinct nod, and she had a feeling he was enjoying her shock.

Kagome pushed back the urge to whimper. Demons, she could handle; evil demons that spanned from grotesque, monstrous ogres and creatures beyond the imagination, to fox kits and two-tailed cats that could transform into something akin to flying lions.

But not once—never had she ever once thought that aliens existed.

That they could exist.

Just what have I gotten myself into this time?

Well, what do you think? Hope you all enjoyed the chapter! ^^ The licking/sniffing part was my favorite, hahah.

Till next week!

RainLily^^

A big huge honking thanks to these awesome reviewers!

Jakefan, Dumti, ArmyWife22079, Diane, , Wicken25, Lady Laran, Ayjah, Tenshi Kagome1312, fierynightangel, SilverMidnightKitten, Mimiru, MangaGrl2665, SaiyaPheng, KEdakumi, fallingyuki, Dreamer Mist, BookFinder, Purplediamon