AN: Answers to the QOD:
Quantumphysica: As for the hamsters... they would probably use humans to scoop up their giant amounts of giant hamster poop, so no thank you, I'll rebel xD
There might be some singing in this story, but only because I sing a lot in real life. Practice makes perfect, ya know? Ahem… I keep forgetting to put this, but I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING BUT MYSELF, MY CATS, AND MOST OF THE FRIENDS MENTIONED HERE(THEY ARE CHARACTERS I CREATED). EXCEPT FOR LUCY, DANI, EDWARD, MCKENNA, FAYE, AND ALYSSA. THEY OWN THEMSELVES. OH YEAH, I ALSO SORTA OWN THE PLOT. BUT THAT'S IT. So…. ENJOY.
Chapter 2: Confusion and Laffy Taffy
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Michelle's brown eyes opened to several faces peering down at her. She let out a small shriek as she jumped nearly ten feet in the air.
"AHHH! STRANGERS IN MY HOUSE!"
Boromir pushed the others out of the way and approached Michelle, who was lying on the sofa.
"My lady, how are you feeling?"
"Wh-huh… BOROMIR IS TALKING TO ME. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY ENTIRE LIFE. WAIT. LET ME POKE YOUR FACE. I NEED TO MAKE SURE THAT THIS IS REAL."
Without waiting for an answer, she reached up and poked Boromir's cheek.
"OHMYGOSH. THIS IS REAL. YESSSSSS!"
"Is she feeling alright?" Harry asked from behind the couch.
"Unholy mother of Sauron. Harry Potter and Boromir are in my house."
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"Wait… okay, it's coming back… can someone get me an icepack from the freezer and an Advil? My head hurts like someone bludgeoned me with a metal bat…"
"Already got them, brennil nin*," George said, giving me the object in question.
I smiled, taking the icepack and placing it on my forehead, and then swallowing the Advil. I sat up straight and examined everyone's faces.
"I need a recap. How long was I out, what happened, and who's here?"
"My lady," said a tall blonde standing next to Boromir, "You were unconscious for an hour, at most. Your friends tried to explain how we appeared in your home, but it seems as if they do not know, either."
"Okay, everyone besides Boromir, please introduce yourselves."
"Well, Michelle, we've got Harry Potter, the Weasley twins, Draco Malfoy, Boromir, Gimli, blondie," Legolas glared at Gina and she rolled her eyes, "I mean, Legless-geez! Legolas, Legolas! Your name is Legolas! Get that arrow away from my face! Anyways, there's also Frodo and Aragorn over there staring at your TV."
I glanced over at my television and saw that Aragorn and Frodo were examining it closely. Gina roughly pushed the fuming Legolas away from her, snickering softly at the look of surprise that flitted across his way-too-perfect face. I laughed, too. He sent me a glare and I returned it.
"'Kay, all hostilities aside, I have a few bags of candy! And since it's around lunchtime, I'm making lunch! Who wants macaroni?!"
"Macaroni? What is 'macaroni'?" Frodo asked, turning away from his inspection of my television.
"Food. I'll get the water boiling."
I darted into the kitchen and grabbed a box of Kraft macaroni from the pantry. I started boiling the water and-you know what? I'm not going into detail. Let's just skip to after I made the food.
"LUNCH IS READY! COME AND GET IIIIIT!"
I started spooning generous amounts of macaroni onto plates and setting them on the table.
"GET OVER HERE BEFORE I EAT ALL THE MAC AND CHEESE! I AM VERY, VERY HUNGRY!"
Thundering footsteps as everyone ran into the kitchen and grabbed a plate. Another stampede as they raced into the dining room, leaving me standing there with my plate.
"YOU FORGOT YOUR SILVERWARE! Ugh, you know what? I'll just carry a binful over…"
I scooped a ton of forks and spoons into a wicker bin and ran over to the dining room, placing it in the center of the table. I sat down and began to devour my lunch. Most of the Lord of the Rings characters watched in awe as my plate emptied in less than a minute.
"What? I said I was hungry!"
I wiped my mouth with a napkin and got out of my seat.
"I'll be getting soda in the kitchen if you need me!"
I darted into the kitchen and grabbed the bottles of Sprite and Diet Pepsi, and then ran back into the dining room. After placing the bottles on the table, I dashed back into the kitchen, grabbed a bag of Styrofoam cups, and returned to the dining room, throwing them on the table.
"There. Refreshments. Enjoy!"
I collapsed into my chair and poured myself some Diet Pepsi, glancing over the rim of my cup.
"Lady Michelle? Are you alright?"
"Fine! Just a bit…. tired… and headachey. Oh, ship! I forgot! I have to get some of the empty guest bedrooms ready for you!"
"What do you mean, Michelle?" Harry asked, looking at me with an eyebrow raised.
"You have nowhere to go and you appeared in my house so naturally you should stay here and I should stop talking and get those bedrooms cleaned up!"
I was about to get up again, but two people pushed me back into my seat.
"Hey, don't go just yet!" Fred(or was it George?) complained.
"Yeah, you've barely talked to us!" George(or was it Fred?) added.
"Good point, but I'd really like it if you'd let me fix up somewhere for you to stay!"
I tried to get up, but the (Weasley) twins pushed me down again. I sighed and rolled my eyes, then realized that someone was staring-more like glaring-at me. I turned in the direction of the starer/glarer and saw Aragorn glowering at me. I crossed my arms and huffed at him.
"Okay, Aragorn, what came and bit you in the butt?" I asked bluntly, narrowing my eyes.
"I still do not know if I should trust you, Lady Michelle," he replied.
I stood up and marched over to him, standing over the future King of Gondor.
"If I was your enemy, would you still be sitting there? Would I have offered you food and lodging?"
There were a few 'Oooooh's from the direction of the twins(both sets). I glanced in their direction(s) and rolled my eyes. The Weasleys were already getting influenced by Gina and Tori. Great.
"Aragorn, you can trust me," I said, stepping back, "There is not a chance in Mordor that I would betray you. Oh, and sorry 'bout being so dramatic. It's a habit."
I was back to my normally strange self.
"Now, can I please get some bedrooms ready for you? I don't want you to sleep on the floor or the couches! That would suck sour lemons!"
I ran off before anyone could object and/or tape me to my chair.
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Everyone watched Michelle run off, the Weasley twins already on her tail. Lucy followed them, and Tori shook her head.
"She's in her twenties and still acts like a nine-year-old…." she muttered.
"SAYONARA, SUCKERS!" Michelle shouted, followed by a loud crash and swearing.
"What did she do this time?" John asked.
Michelle appeared in the hallway, flanked by Fred and George(Weasley), and backed by Lucy.
"Tried to jump out the window, landed on a chair," she answered.
"Why would you-you know what, don't answer that," John said, tapping the table impatiently.
Fred and George sat Michelle down in the chair, and Lucy held up a roll of masking tape. Four minutes later, they had taped the hyper woman down.
"This has been pleasant," she said with a smile.
"Sometimes I wonder why I'm friends with the neighborhood crazy person," Clarisse said quietly, sighing.
Michelle chuckled darkly.
"That's for me to know and you to find out, hm?"
"She freaks me out sometimes…" George(not the Weasley) muttered.
"Anyways, what do we have on the agenda today?"
"You own the house, not us," Gina and Tori said in unison.
"Okay… I think that we should get some clothes for the newcomers, and then instruct them in the ways of our world."
"Michelle, we already know what 'your world' is like," Harry said.
"I was talking about the Lord of the Rings characters. Anyways, can you untape me? I've lost all the feeling in my hands. Wait, nevermind…"
I slowly stretched my arms up, and the tape began to break. A few seconds later, it was off. I rolled my shoulders back and wiggled my fingers.
"Much better! Remind me to get stronger tape next time I'm at the store!"
I paused, eyes widening as I remembered something.
"Oh, shoot! I almost forgot! Tonight's Edward's Halloween party! I'd better call him and ask if I can bring you guys!"
"We can stay here, Lady Michelle, if it is too much trouble for you-" Frodo began, but I hurriedly cut him off.
"Lo! I don't want anything happening while I'm gone, so you're coming with!"
I whipped out my phone and selected Edward's number from my contacts list. The phone rang once, and he picked up.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Edward. Listen, something came up and I want to know if I can bring some more friends to the party?"
"Uh, sure…. How many?"
I paused and counted the people in my dining room.
"Nine."
"Where did you find so many people?"
"Beats me. So, can they tag along?"
"Sure! Oh, and I got detention for the next few Saturdays."
"Hm? Why?"
"I almost killed someone!"
"Wait, what?!"
"I was putting on my Iron Man suit, but it malfunctioned and hit someone on the head!"
"What the fuck, dude? How do you even get detention in college? Nevermind… see you tonight, mellon nin!"
I hung up and smiled around at everyone. They were all watching me intently.
"He said you guys can come! I can't wait to meet up with McKenna, Dani, and Faye again! I haven't seen them in two days!"
"Muggles are so strange," Draco muttered, watching me babble incoherently.
"YES, WE ARE!"
Clarisse winced at the volume of my voice.
"Please stop trying to break my ears."
Lucy joined me in making no sense. Tori was stifling a giggle, while Boromir, Frodo, Legolas, and Aragorn just watched us, sadly shaking their heads. Gimli and the Weasley twins were laughing their asses off. After ten minutes of ranting about various random subjects(cheese, sugar, purple-polka-dotted animals, and how the world was going to end), we both calmed down. I poured myself some more soda and started giggling.
"Okay, guess what Edward said happened?"
"Who's 'Edward'?" Harry asked.
"A friend. But, anyways, he has this Iron Man suit that he made. And it actually works and stuff, and so he was putting it on and it malfunctioned and hit someone! So now he has detention for a few Saturdays."
I went into a fit of laughter.
"How do you even get detention in college!? Like, what the fuck?" I managed to say through giggles, "But, anyways, I'm gonna clean up, and then we can get you newbies some normal, 21st-century clothes!"
I grinned.
"But I'd better assign you guys some places to stay! Okay, so the Weasley twins and Harry get the downstairs bedroom! It's down the hall on the left. Upstairs we can have Draco, Frodo, and Legolas in one of the extra bedrooms. Boromir, Gimli, and Aragorn get whatever room is left. FOLLOW MEEEEE!"
I jumped out of my chair, grabbed the hands of the nearest people(Fred and George Weasley), and ran off to the downstairs guest bedroom. I flung open the door and wildly gestured to the inside.
"Okay, Weasleys and Harry will stay here! MOVING ON!"
I continued with my tour of the house, finally ending up in my room.
"Alright, first rule for my room is NEVER. EVER. EVER. Wake me up early… or you will face the consequence. Second rule, only come in with PERMISSION. You will die if you try and come in my room without permission. And it will be a horrible, painful death."
I smiled sweetly.
"So you better watch what you do."
A few people edged away from me. I snorted.
"Just kidding! But, seriously, ask before coming in."
I reached absentmindedly into my backpack and pulled out a bag of Red Vines.
"Anywho," I said, opening the package, "did anyone teach the people from Arda how to use a toilet?"
No response. I pulled out a Red Vine and started to eat it.
"Judging from the awkward silence, I'm guessing the answer is no?" I asked as I finished up the candy.
I was answered with a few nods.
"Okay, we'll figure out who has to explain this way. 'Not it' on the count of three, last person to say it has to give the walkthrough!"
"What?" several people asked.
"On the count of three, we say 'Not it', and the last person to say it has to show the Lord of the Rings characters how to use a toilet!"
Harry raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.
"Ready? Okay, one… two… three… NOT IT!"
"Not it!" the Weasley twins said in unison.
"Not it" Harry said.
"Not it…" Draco said, before realizing that he was the last one to speak.
"Seems like Draco's the unlucky loser!" I said, laughing.
"If my father knew about this…." Draco muttered furiously.
"Yeah, yeah, shut up about it, daddy's boy. If you don't want me to throw you to the rabid fangirls, you're gonna have to help 'round the house. And that includes teaching these guys how to use the bathroom. There's one down the hall, blue door with rubber ducks. Now, get your sorry tuchis** out of here. L'hitreyot***, Draco!"
I pushed him out of the room, despite his incessant protests. The LotR characters followed him. I turned to the remaining people in the room.
"Okay, who wants Laffy Taffy?!"
I sped down the hall and raced downstairs.
"Laffy Taffy? D'you think that that's some kind of Muggle candy, Fred?" George asked.
"I think so, George."
Harry and the (Weasley)twins ran to catch up with me. They found me in the kitchen, balancing on a small stepstool and reaching into a high cupboard to grab my leftover bags of Halloween candy.
"CANDY IS SERVED!" I said, jumping off of the stepstool and landing ever-so-gracefully on my butt, "Ow. Well, I'm really great at this landing stuff, aren't I?"
I got to my feet, laughing softly at myself, while my face turned bright reddish-pink color. I turned to the stool and kicked it, making it topple over with a loud crash.
"Stupid stool," I growled before saying, "I do this a lot, by the way. I mean, talk to inanimate objects."
I hummed softly, cutting the bag open with a pair of scissors.
"Help yourselves. I'm going to get ready for the party. It's in about an hour."
I rushed into the bathroom and examined the damage done to my outfit. Which, by the way, had taken half a year to assemble. Surprisingly, there wasn't much damage done to it. I breathed a sigh of relief.
"Thank God… But wait a second…. How the hell am I gonna get these people regular clothing without drawing attention?!"
AN: HOLY. MOTHER. OF. SHEEP. This took forever to finish, BUT HERE IT IS! By the way, A Tale of Two Friends has been put into Hiatus until further notice. Thanks!
OUR NEW QOD: The item to your left is your weapon for the upcoming zombie apocalypse. What is it?
I played that game in the car with my brother one time…. The item to his left was the car door. The item to my left was my brother! *cue insane laughter*
Translations:
*Brennil nin(Elvish): My lady
**Tuchis(Hebrew): Butt
***L'hitreyot(Hebrew): See you soon
SEE YOU LATER!
