AN: I cannot thank you guys enough. It means the world to me that you are reading this, and favouriting, and following…

By the time Maura finished reading Jane's letter she was practically weeping. Nobody had ever said such things to her before. Some things are simply over looked in life – like the effort it takes to sit down and write a letter. Jane, who wants to throw up at the mere mention of anything resembling sappiness, had sat down in the middle of the night writing the sappiest thing in the history of emotions. That thought alone told Maura all she needed to know. Jane had spoken of a future with Maura, Jane- who could not even plan what to have for dinner. Everything Maura questioned about life finally had an answer. She never understood how a person could miss someone so much it made them want to cry. It didn't make sense how you could long for a touch till it physically hurt. How sleep could never come because you were thinking of someone. Or how a sane person could spend an ENTIRE day with the thought of a single person on their mind. Maura couldn't comprehend how on earth you could love someone more than yourself. She often questioned how sacrificing something you really like to make someone happy could bring you joy. And then there was the question of marriage. Was it ever a good idea to vow to be with someone through thick and thin? People eventually fell out of love, right? People changed. She had seen it. And because of that vow they were trapped and unhappy. And those movies and books she occasionally came across about people that claimed to not be able to breathe without the other. Whatever happened to the art of personal space? Having to PERMANENTLY share everything with someone. That thought in particular had always left her gobsmacked.

But that night when Maura finished reading her letter from Jane, all her questions were answered. It was one simple word – love. Or maybe it was – Jane, she couldn't quite distinguish the two. But it was as clear as day. All those uncertainties she had were because she hadn't known love so it just didn't make sense. Never in her life would she ever have those questions again. A person was simply willing to do and go through all those things because they were in love. And when you truly love somebody, you want them forever. Even that stupid line she often heard, ''when you love someone, you want that person to be happy even if it's not with you'', made sense.

Where the hell is Jane going? She finally asked herself. Leaving me with all this information and all these emotions to deal with in solitude. It was a nightmare. So that night Maura Isles hardly got any sleep. She ached for Jane to be there so she could tell her how 'she' felt, so could hold her and finally kiss her. The movie night before came swimming into her mind, then the feelings she had felt when she woke up that morning moulded into Jane. That's all it took for the throbbing between her legs to begin. She vaguely wondered if the thought of Jane would one day stop making her feel that way.

That night, it was too late for her to back out. She helplessly succumbed to thoughts of the woman she so deeply loved. She hadn't even touched herself, and yet she could already feel a fierce tingling creeping up her thighs. Her mind drifted to the way Jane swaggered towards her whenever she was going to hug her. The feeling of Jane's body flush against her as Jane nuzzled into her neck. The woman's warm breath whispering comforting words whenever she was feeling down. Maura had to gasp when her fingers located the spot begging her attention. She was soaked; it had actually dripped down to the sheet underneath. ''Oh my God'' she muttered to herself.

She was repeating to herself some of the words Jane had written in her letter and her heart beat had accelerated to impossible speed. The poor woman was breathing frantically and her fingers seemed to not be giving her the satisfaction she so desperately needed. She never in her life thought it was possible to be ''too'' wet. Her fingers were sliding sloppily up and down her sex and she could not for the life of her maintain a steady rhythm. She then allowed herself the privilege of thoughts she had so often fought against. Jane's naked, hot body pressed firmly above her. The detective's nipples rubbing smoothly against her own. Their hips moving together in a steady pleasurable pattern. Maura felt like she was going to combust. ''Oh Jane'' she called out to her empty bedroom. She had started to lightly shiver with each stroke to her clit. The doctor knew she was almost at her tipping point. She was torn all of a sudden. She wanted – needed to come right there. But she also wanted to enjoy it. She had never pleasured herself to the thought of Jane, and she couldn't believe how good it felt.

Nothing felt like it was enough though. She NEEDED Jane. At that moment she had to resort to something to reach a respectable release. She wanted to cry from all the emotional and physically feelings she was going through in that moment. Her free hand reached for the drawer by her bedside, momentarily stopping her strokes. She reached for the rubber penis in there and opened the box like a crazed woman. It took her no time at all to bring the instrument to her opening. She swirled it round and round against her opening as her left hand landed on her breast. She imagined Jane's big, strong palm groping her sizable breasts. She applied as much pressure to her touch as she could and then finally pushed the dildo into herself. The feeling of satisfaction she felt was beyond her, she wouldn't even bother trying to comprehend it. Few thrusts were all she needed, she had held off for too long she was starting to lose her breath. The diligent doctor had read about orgasms and their different intensities. She had also read briefly about orgasm induced tears and had quickly placed that information in the hyperbole category. Here she was - having had experienced the highest intensity of an orgasm (all by herself), with tears running down her cheeks. ''Wow!''. That's all her diction had to offer. If sexercising to the thought of Jane brought her this much pleasure, she wasn't sure how she was going to survive with Jane physically involved.

For the first time in her life, Maura Isles showed up to work in flats. She couldn't trust herself to wear heels. Whenever her thoughts drifted to Jane, she felt week in the knees and almost went vasovagal. Flats where definitely the safest option that day, because she couldn't bank on herself to not think about Jane. She was fucking glowing and nothing could wipe off the smile on her face. When she stopped by Angela for a cup of tea the elder woman had to ask.

''Did you meet someone at that conference yesterday? My, my, my aren't you glowing''

Maura couldn't hide her blush, ''Oh no Angela, I didn't. I believe I am just my usual self''

''Honey, you look like a switched on 100watt bulb. Don't you go on thinking you can lie to me. Jane tries, but I know you can't. Spit. Who is he?''

''like I said, I didn't meet anybody. I am just in a very pleasant mood, nothing more. I really do have to get downstairs though. Thank you for the tea.''

At the mention of Jane's name Maura had felt herself almost falling over. She had to flee from the eagle eyed woman. Thank heavens for these flats, she thought to herself. Now Angela was no fool, especially in matters like these. She filed away the doctor's behaviour for a later time.

''Hey Maura''.

''Barry, how are you''.

''I'm good. And I am pretty sure you are too. Good God, what's with the cheerful mood?''

''Why does everyone keep saying that? Am I always gloomy?''

''Of course not'', Frost interjected very fast, ''jus that you seem overly happy is all. Anywho, came to collect the file from yesterday. I now have to do my job and Rizzoli's as well. You talk to her before she left?''

There it was. It was happening again. What is wrong with me? All these years I have talked to Jane, people have talked to me about Jane. And now all of a sudden whenever her name is mentioned I can't breathe. Frost had run to put a hand on the doctors back, she looked as though she was about to faint.

''Whoa. Are you ok?''

''I hope so. Nothing serious though. Let me get the reports for you''

Frost was not thrilled with this answer but knew the doctor could not lie. He was already pissed about doing double work as it was, so he let it go but made a mental note to check on Maura later.

They all soon learned that Jane had gone undercover and wouldn't be back until after at least a week. Angela was a wreck- The waterworks, the guilt trips, you name it. The woman sure knew how to pull out all her cards and lay them bare. Poor Tommy, Frankie, and even Maura had to deal with this. The Medical examiner wasn't too shaken by this display of emotions though; most of her thoughts were on other aspects of Jane. She continued the rest of her day on cloud nine, sure that there wasn't a single thing on the planet earth that could land her in a sour mood.

The day had come to an end, and Lieutenant Fitzgerald had not heard a word from Jane. He put it off thinking the detective had had a long day and would most certainly contact him the next day. When afternoon came and he had not heard a word, and in addition his own detective Bradford had not shown up for work, he became a little restless. An unmarked sent to the construction company reported chaos at the site which raised a myriad of questions for the aging man. Something had definitely gone askew. Their best bet was to first locate Detective Bradford and take it from there.

That proved to be much harder than it seemed, as no trace of him was anywhere to be found. As if the man just disappeared of the face of earth. After another day of searching, the NYPD finally located where Ceelo and his guys resided. They made it to the outer parts of Queens in a hurry, and what little colour left on Lieutenant Fitzgerald's face drained off in record time. There on the living room table were a few photographs of the corpse of Jane Rizzoli, laying face up in a black zip up body bag. There was blood everywhere though its place of origin couldn't quite be deciphered. Her face was almost as white as snow and her lips looked a touch purple. And in the basement lay evidence of the crime scene – Jane's blood sloshed everywhere. Fitzgerald had absolutely no idea how he was going to deliver this news to his lieutenant friend in Boston. He had just got one of their finest murdered. Dammit, it's only been 2days. What the hell? HOW the hell did this happen? That was certainly not going to give him answers so he settled for action. He was going to Boston. If anyone was going to deliver this news, it had to be him – in person.

*so guys, remember that ''until'', from the first chapter? Right! Here goes*

It was not until three days later that Maura's world came to a sudden end. Three men from the NYPD arrived at the precinct to speak with Cavanagh. As they left his office, the lieutenant literally yelled for Korsak. Who after about ten minutes yelled even louder for Frost. The room was filled with a deafening silence mingled with a crying Frost. They spent a few minutes doing absolutely nothing, each man probably wondering how to move on from that point. Who would tell Frankie, or Angela, and God forbid, Maura? After what felt like eternal silence, Frost exited, headed for the gents to empty his bowls. Since Frankie was not in Korsak decided he would drive Angela home and speak with her there. Cavanagh offered to wait for Frankie and speak to him on his return. No one dared even mention Maura. As Frost continued to puke, images of the glow on Maura's face for the past few days haunted him.

next chapter tomorrow. I promise!