AN : There is a quote down there that doesn't belong to me. I would give credit if I remembered where I read it. Sorry. Also, your support is the best motivation ever. Things are bad now, but they will get better…EVENTUALLY. I would not kill Maura or Jane, I would sooner die! rizzles-yes. sorry I can't respond to guest reviews.

Disclaimer : do not own Rizzoli and Isles

Frankie walked in before Korsak got to Angela, and the old man felt the ground beneath him dissipate into a million pieces. All he managed in that moment was to grab the young officer by the shoulder and whisper ''Get Angela, we need to go home''. Frankie responded, seeing the urgency and seriousness in his senior's voice, and either way, Korsak was already headed for the door. At Frankie's insistence, Angela foxed around putting on her usual show of stubbornness and resistance. She caved in fast though, when she saw how worried Frankie looked when explaining Korsak's expression.

In the car, the Sergeant had no desire, nor will power to say a single thing. Angela could see his hands shaking and immediately knew something was horribly wrong. Her fear prevented her from pushing anything out of Korsak, in a feeble attempt to preserve what little doubt she was holding onto. Upon parking in the driveway, Korsak flew out of the car headed to the guesthouse as if he lived there. The time finally came to say it, and at that moment, he shed his first set of many more tears to come.

Meanwhile at BPD, Frost is heading out the men's room when he realizes the bullpen is occupied with unusual movements among the other detectives. Lt. Cavanagh was out of sight and before he could recover a confused Maura emerged behind him.

''Hello Barry, do you know what is going on? Lieutenant Cavanagh sent word that I should go home immediately. And what is all this rush going on here? Is everything alright?''

Maura was rambling and Frost hadn't yet summoned the courage to look her in the eyes. When his eyes eventually met hers, the look in them told him everything he needed to know about how he looked and that sent him back to the men's room gagging. Maura was quick to follow. With no regards to where she was heading, she entered the men's room confidently.

''Detective, I demand for you to tell me what is going on this instant!-'' she actually stomped her foot. ''-I am not leaving, and neither are you.''

When Frost finished throwing up he looked at Maura with blood red swollen eyes, tears trailing his cheeks and a puke stained mouth. Maura had no heart for disgust at that point; she knew something was definitely wrong.

''Sorry Maura, please just go home. Please'' he begged.

With those words, Maura marathoned to her car. Fuck propriety. During her ride home, her brain miraculously began to function and all she could think about was Jane. Every inch of her body told her something was not right with her….friend? Jane had just poured her heart to her, told her everything she had wished to hear. And now something was wrong with Jane. She felt a tad angry. Jane had promised her a long time ago that she would always be careful on the job, and she had lived to her word. What has she gone on to do this time? The ever obedient doctor had long forgotten there where road rules and made it home in record time, eyes already saturated with tears. Ever composed as she always was, Maura could hardly pull herself together. In spite of all the commotion, that is what scared her the most. Dammit, get a hold of yourself Maura! The sight of Korsak's car in her drive way did nothing to her fear, if not to double it. Haphazardly parking her car, she exited the vehicle as if it had a time bomb ticking and had no decency to even turn the engine off.

As if she knew, she made her way straight to the guest house, mind running a still marathon. That double fear tripled in no beat at the sight in front of her. Angela was literally gasping for air standing by the kitchen sink. She was shaking, you would think someone was holding her and actually moving her body – silent tears trickling down her recently swollen face. Korsak was standing behind her, whimpering, at a distance. Frankie threw her off the most. He was huddled up in a corner on the floor, head between his knees, shaking even harder than Angela. Upon realizing Maura's presence, Angela wept – for lack of a better word. Frankie then quietly mumbled something, that if Maura was in her right mind may have thought was ''she's gone''. Korsak was by her side in a blink of an eye.

''There isn't an easier way to say this Maura. And God knows I never bargained to be the one to tell you this.'' At this point Maura had appeared to have stopped breathing. Detective Sergeant Korsak? No. Doctor Korsak? Yes (well – right now).

''Breathe Maura, it's-'' his doctor skills where cut off sharply.

''What did Frankie say?'' Maura sounded as if she was trying out the words of a foreign language.

Frankie still with his head between his knees cried, ''She's gone Maura! Jane is dead''

At those words Angela collapsed to the floor. Korsak caught her just before she made contact with the ground. Talk about balancing detective-friend-doctor duties all in one. He reached for his phone as best as he could and dialled 911 for an ambulance. No one noticed Maura slide out the door as if she was being blown by the wind. With her car still running she drove straight to the precinct. She had no thought in her mind except for the time she knew she had fallen hard for her detective friend.

Jane walked into Maura's office with her usual swagger but stopped immediately when she saw the state her friend was in. Maura had her face in both hands quietly crying. She looked so sad and though comforting people wasn't Jane's strong suit, she vowed to try.

''Hey M, what's wrong. And don't tell me nothing coz you crying a river over there'', Jane tried to lighten the mood with her humour and calling her friend 'M' because she knew Maura loved it.

''I would rather not talk about it. We can discuss it after the holiday''.

''aaaah, no! We can discuss it now, or we can sit here and not discuss it till we discuss it. Your pick''. Jane was trying hard to make her friend smile but it seemed whatever was bothering her was a very big deal.

''My parents cancelled their plans to come over for thanksgiving. It was stupid of me to have my hopes up; they always back out last minute. I don't understand why they don't just say no to begin with. Or maybe they just wonder why I keep asking in the first place''. Jane had absolutely no idea how to respond. All the people she knew had families that loved them and the Isles family affection just didn't make sense to her.

''Well look at the bright side, you can come over and spend thanksgiving with us. That's if we aren't too boring''.

''Of cause not Jane. Its tomorrow and I don't want to impose. Your mother probably has things set out for the number of guests she's expecting''

''Maura, you have met my mother right. She has made enough preparations for half of Boston already. C'mon, it'll be alright and you know it.''

This was their first thanksgiving together and Maura wasn't sure how Mrs Rizzoli would take to an extra guest at such short notice. She also really didn't want to impose on family time. She'd been alone many holidays, this was nothing new. It's just that she had had Jane for some time now, and for some reason she just couldn't be alone anymore. But she had to manage on her own; she wouldn't allow herself to mess up her friend's thanksgiving on her account.

''I promise I will be ok. Besides I have a cold and I don't want to be spreading my virus to everyone''

''Its winter M, everyone has a cold. That's not a good excuse. But if you insist, I'll let it go. But just know you can pop in at any time ok.''

''Sure, thanks Jane. I'll call you tomorrow morning''

Jane just smiled and left Maura's office. That marked the beginning of her thanksgiving holiday and she couldn't wait to get out of the precinct. When she got home she wasn't happy though. She felt mad at Maura's parents and sorry for her friend. She was suffering through a cold, and going to spend thanksgiving alone on top of that. Jane tried to reassure herself that Maura was a big girl and she would be fine. If not, she would just come over to Jane's. She didn't want to force the M.E to do something she didn't want to do. When thanksgiving came the next day, Maura lived up to her word and rang Jane to wish her well during the holiday. Jane was not pleased with the way her friend sounded but tried desperately to ignore it. After spending a few hours with her family, it was 3pm and Jane just couldn't stand it anymore. She packed some food and excused herself. Angela obviously lauched into a tirade about the importance of family and the holiday. She didn't take those things lightly. The detective was not budging though; she HAD to go, so she left.

Maura wasn't expecting anyone and when she opened the door she was shocked to find a frozen looking Jane standing on her porch.

''Jane, what are you doing here?''

''Freezing! Can I come in''

''Sure''. Maura didn't know what to say, neither did Jane it turned out. So they just looked at each other for a few long seconds before Maura began to sneeze.

''Sorry'', she rushed for some tissue.

''I figured I'd bring you a nice meal. And maybe we could watch a movie or something'', Jane said sheepishly. Maura would never have said no, even if her life depended upon it. She had wished for Jane to be there so badly. So they heated up the food, ate during pleasant conversation, and then settled for a movie in Maura's bed. She was drained for the minor sickness she was experiencing and knew she wouldn't make it to the end of the movie. She fell asleep on Jane's lap during the movie, feeling the best kind of happiness. Jane had left her family, the most important thing to her, to spend thanksgiving in her company. There wouldn't be any other gesture that could sweep her off her feet like that. In the past, guys had blown off working late on Friday night to be with her. She felt justified for falling in love with Jane.

By this time Maura had reached the precinct. When asked later how or why she first went to her office, she would not know how to put it to words. It was more of a pull than a cognitive thought. But brushing through the havoc in the police department Maura found herself reaching for her letter from Jane. It had taken permanent residence in her purse from the day she read it. She clutched onto it for dear life, threw her handbag over her shoulder and rushed back to her car. She was happy no one had the guts to speak to her; she wasn't sure how she would have responded. Her next actions took her to Jane's apartment. She was more than relieved upon realizing no one had made it there as yet.

Back at her house, the Rizzoli matriarch had been ambulated to Mass General. Frankie loved his mother, but had not had the power to go with her. The younger Rizzoli was still shell shocked and quite frankly needed hospital admission of his own. Tommy had been contacted and was the one to stay by his mother's side. Korsak was slowly loosing sanity. He had to balance his job, comforting Frankie, being there for Angela, and Frost, (and Maura?). He was smart and completely certain no amount of ''being there'' for Maura would do an ounce of good. And then he had his own feelings. He loved Jane, like a daughter. And with Frank Snr being away, they had grown closer as he posed as a father figure for Jane. He needed to think, he was tired, and stressed, and hurt, and just wanted to disappear. He seemed like the one who was going to have to be the strong glue between all of Jane's loved ones. A task like that would require a clear put together mind. He needed space and just a little bit of time.

As he got about looking for a place to seek refuge Frankie finally approached him and asked for a ride to Jane's apartment. He too, seemed to need some time to pull himself together away from all the craziness. They knew it was only a matter of time before the media got hold of Jane's photographs from Ceelo's house and started crowding around her apartment and Maura's house and the BPD. So the two men took the small window of opportunity and headed over to Jane's place

Maura parked neatly on the street and made her way to the door, letting herself in with her spare key. She walked slowly to Jane's bedroom. A room that had slowly become part hers. Maura crawled onto Jane's side of the bed, pulled out Jane's letter, and read it once more. The doctor had never cried that hard her entire life. She cried out loud till there was no sound escaping her lips. She clutched the few pages tightly to her heart, rolling herself from side to side. It hurt her so bad. She never wanted to ever feel love again in her life, it hurt her in ways she never wanted to know again. She wished she had never met Jane, she actually felt a tinge of anger. She hated Jane for having left her with such heavy words and gone on to die. With each new thought came a stronger sob. Her heart was starting to physically hurt. That pain was much more welcome compared to the emotional one.

She kept replaying that one line Jane had wrote, ''not even death stands a chance.'' Jane had never lied to Maura before. But now she had lied in her letter. Maura was not pleased by that realization at all. In hindsight, it had been stupidly naïve to think that true. Death had destroyed their love. Maura felt no will to live. She simply couldn't do it without Jane. She hadn't even told her how she felt about her. That thought eventually brought Maura's voice back. She cried out loud again. She couldn't do it anymore. She hadn't been friends with Jane for way too long, but that time was all it took. Maura was not going to even try. She didn't want to know how it felt like to wake up the next morning and know she wouldn't ever, for the rest of her miserable life, see Jane Rizzoli again. So she went to the safe place in Jane's bedroom where the detective kept her spare gun. This took a reasonable amount of time. She could hardly stand up right, her hands where fiercely shaking, and her tear filled eyes could barely let her see anything. She was also struggling with trying to breathe. She pulled it out with a trembling hand and it fell to the floor, then she picked it up again.

Maura Isles never thought the first time she held a gun it would be pointing to her head. She had made up her mind, albeit a juvenile decision. They say, ''People in love are not known for making wise decisions''. This was a young woman who had grown up weird, lonely, and unloved. Adulthood had graced her with one thing she didn't know she wanted until she got it – unconditional love. It had been served to her at a fancy dinner table, but on an ordinary plate that didn't match the others there. She had smiled at her meal but before she even got the chance to pick up her fork to eat, the plate had been swiftly pushed off the table only to shatter on the ground to a million pieces. Her finger was on the trigger and she was counting to five before she could pull the trigger. One, two, three….

Korsak and Frankie saw Maura's car parked outside and thought this was a good opportunity to get to speak with Jane's best friend. But when they walked in they immediately changed their minds. They could hear Maura crying her life out from Jane's room. This made Frankie feel ten times worse and Korsak's heart just sank even deeper. They heard the hurried fumbling and a loud drop of something heavy. That was all it took for the two men to rush to Maura's aid. On opening the door, they found Maura with a pistol pointed to her head, wet pages of paper gripped securely in her left hand.

''Maura, please. Please Maura. Just think about this for just a second. Please?''. Korsak was no love guru, but he knew love when he saw it, and the kind that flowed between Jane and Maura was a special brand. He didn't need to question why Maura was considering taking such drastic actions. He knew. He just wished he could talk the woman out of it for the time being. Everything was just happing all at once, all too fast. He knew his detective skills where not going to do him any good when faced by the intelligent doctor. All he could do was beg, and hope and pray that the woman would listen. ''please Maura, I'm begging you''. He had to say it out loud. This was not the time for subtlety. Frankie stood stock still beside him. To the younger man, it all made no sense. Why would a woman like Maura want to kill herself over the tragic death of her best friend? Yes she loved her, but still. If anything, he thought he should have been in Maura's position. Regardless, he didn't possess the energy to voice all his concerns. He just watched it all slowly unfold before him.

Korsak had taken two steps towards Maura now. ''Just go away. Leave me to do this alone, ok. Just leave.'' Maura seemed to be begging to.

''Can we at least talk about it Maura.''

''You know I'm not stupid right? What do you want to do? Huh? Talk me out of this, then leave me to do it when you're gone? Or are you planning on watching me every day? You have NO right to be in here, NO RIGHT!'' Both men had never been on the receiving end of this behaviour from Maura. It scared them to bits. She looked lost, and tired, and hurt, and confused, but most of all broken. So broken, it hurt to look at. She has breathing loudly and years of experience told Korsak she was moments from pulling the trigger. Nothing about her indicated hesitation. She was resolute. Before she pulled the trigger she spared once last glance to the photo by Jane's beside – the two of them all smiles, hugging sideways, cheek-to-cheek. That was the last thing she would see before she decidedly departed earth, and she was more than content with that.