Chapter 2: Everybody Has a Job or Two or Three
"This is Mortimer, Resa, and Meggie Folchart," Atrus said pointing to a tall man with straight brown hair wearing a casual, neutral outfit, a blonde woman wearing a maroon sweater and skirt, and a thirteen-year-old girl with blonde hair the same shade as the woman's, wearing a royal blue sweater and medium-blue jeans.
"How do you do?" the Folcharts said in unison.
"So, Mo, Meggie, which book characters have ya summoned?"
"You've probably never heard of them," Mo said. "I've been in libraries in this world, and not one book in any of those libraries exist in my world. Our power only works with books we like."
"This is Violet," Atrus said, pointing to the older girl, her long brown hair woven into a tight braid, dressed in a fancy plum-colored dress and black combat boots. "Klaus," the tall, scrawny boy with messy brown hair, navy sweater, and beige slacks nodded slightly at everyone and fiddled with the reading glasses in his pocket, "And Sunny." The three- year-old looked uninterested, her short, light brown hair tied back with a scarlet ribbon that matched her dress.
"How do you do?" the Baudelaires said.
"Violet, Klaus, and Sunny will be chefs. My wife Catherine and my daughter Yeesha will also be chefs, plus they will be Deliverers to the Outside Worlds of both samples and orders."
"Where are they now?" Louie asked.
"They're at my linking-book library in Tomahna. Since all the linking books for media Ages were Written by Catherine, she's been spending a lot more time there Mo, Resa, and Meggie will be waiters. I have also given Resa the job of uniform designer."
"Aw," Kimmy said in disappointment. "I wanted to do that! I have a great idea for a uniform, too."
"I am willing to receive suggestions," Resa said. "Does anybody else have an idea for a uniform?"
Larabee, Launchpad, and Phoebe raised their hands.
"What's your idea?" Launchpad whispered to Larabee.
"I don't have one, yet," Larabee whispered back. "I just want to be useful."
"Same here. I bet Phoebe really does have an idea, though."
"The Four...interesting." Resa said. "All right then, I have art supplies. I shall give all of you paper and colored pencils so I can see your ideas for myself. And Deputy Dogbert…"
"Yes, Resa?"
"Don't blow the whistle on them for coloring outside the lines."
"Whatever you say, Resa." Then Dogbert thought to himself, I'll just break their pencils in half, use the flat halves as firewood, and use the pointy halves to roast marshmallows on.
Atrus continued. "As Agent J has already told you, Launchpad will be Sample Deliverer to the Outside Worlds."
"I'm looking forward to when I get to deliver actual orders," Launchpad said.
"Don't get your hopes up, Mr. McQuack," Dogbert said.
"I decided to put Larabee in charge of bookkeeping and inventory," Atrus said. "and, when Mo or Meggie is with me on a quest, he shall be a substitute waiter."
"I do have experience waiting on tables," Larabee confirmed.
"Kimmy will be the custodian."
Kimmy was excited. "I knew that job at the movie theater would pay off."
Larabee was curious. "What was your job, Kimmy?"
"I was a custodian there, too. I got to scrape gum from under the seats."
"Does it lose its flavor if it's left there overnight?"
"How should I know? It's not like free candy. That is so gross! Where do you get these random ideas?"
"Oh, random places."
"And Phoebe will be Assistant Entertainment Coordinator," Atrus said.
"But who will be Head Entertainment Coordinator?" Louie asked.
"Agent J."
"You have made a wise decision, O Great Linking-Book Dude," Agent J said with extreme enthusiasm.
"Say, Phoebe, where are your parents?" Baloo asked.
"My dad is in the Tomahna, in our hut," Phoebe said. "He had a lot of work to do, but now he's finally unpacking."
"My wife is in our hut also," Larabee said.
"You will not believe what his wife does," Phoebe told Baloo and Louie. "I sure don't."
"I believe that you've ridden on a magic school bus that turns into all kinds of stuff. How come you can't believe what my wife does for a living?"
"Would you believe that she is a child care provider, deliverer for a department store, and a professional wrestler?"
"Well, yeah, I don't know, Larabee," Baloo said. "When we first ran Pizza Pie in the Sky, I got into trouble because my pizza deliveries conflicted with my deliveries for Higher for Hire. That's why the business didn't last very long."
"Well, believe it or not, she's going to be a bouncer in my library, and Agent J is going to be a bouncer outside of Louie's," Atrus said.
"How will she have the time with those other three jobs?" Louie asked. "And why would we need a bouncer? We agreed not to serve alcohol here, considering the fact that minors will be working here. I'll admit that I've had some rough customers, but..."
"It's very complicated," Atrus said. "Time passes much more slowly for a character who is in a world other than their own. In other words, they don't age here, and practically no time has passed in their world once they return to it. So, technically for the refugees and the nuisances, this is more of a timeout than a hideout. However, there is a way for the same amount of time to pass in their worlds as in any other worlds, and that is if the linking books from which their world has had all the pages torn out, or if the linking book has been tampered with in some other way.
"As for the reason why this place needs a bouncer, since this restaurant welcomes customers from many worlds, there is a chance that villains and general troublemakers may somehow gain access to linking books that would lead here. So everyone be on your guard. It is also possible for those unwelcome visitors to tamper with a linking book in such a way that the results would be disastrous, or at least mess things up a little bit. Is everybody ready to get to work?"
Baloo looked at his watch. "Oops! It's late! I hafta be headin' home 'cause I've got a lotsa deliveries to make tomorrow. See ya, everybody."
Standing on the dock, everybody said goodbye to Baloo as he took off in his sea plane the Sea Duck.
Launchpad was amazed. "Hey! That plane looks very similar to a plane that I flew and crashed."
Dogbert blew his whistle.
"Why did you do that?" Launchpad asked.
"That was for being redundant," Dogbert explained.
This is gonna be a long night, Launchpad thought.