Disclaimer : I do not own Rizzoli and Isles.

AN : People aren't too fond of angst I gathered (I like it, lol), so I decided to get the ball rolling faster so we can get to the good times. Tell me what ya'll think guys - please. I don't want to lose anybody (all 104 of you following this story). I shed a tear this morning, i'm not even lying.

Jane was staring at the still form of Casey in front of her. She had yet to say something, but before she got the chance Casey had wrapped his huge hands around her already.

''Oh Jane, you don't know how glad I am to know that you're ok'', Casey sounded emotional and was actually choking on his words.

Jane didn't respond. Talk about pressure. Before Casey showed up she was already on the brink of a meltdown, and now this! She had no energy to pull away, or respond for that matter. She just let Casey vomit words of how much he missed her and how glad he was she was back. After a good two minutes he finally let her go, and just stared at her.

Gathering her thoughts together, she eventually led her ex-boyfriend into her mother's living room. They sat on different sofas with Casey now waiting for Jane to utter at least one word. When nothing came, he knew he would have to start the conversation.

''I don't know what the best thing to bring up first is Jane. Just please don't be upset with me''.

Still nothing. Jane didn't trust herself to speak so decided to let Casey gush out as much as he wished.

''I'm sorry for what I did to you Jane. I don't expect you to forgive me, but I want you to know it wasn't an easy thing for me. And at the time I thought I was doing the right thing. I failed you, I know it. And I'm sorry. I'm also sorry about what happened to you. I was devastated when Frankie informed me, I had to come in person to get to grips with the whole situat-''

''You came back?'' Jane was shell shocked.

''Yes. Didn't anyone tell you?''

''No, clearly'', she scoffed.

''I did. Just after I heard. But I had to go back. I moved back here permanently in January though''

''Why?''

''I got a good job offer''.

If he thought that was going to sweep Jane off her feet, he had another thing coming.

''So you could come back for a job, but not for me? Sweet''. Her tone gave away nothing.

''Don't say it like that Jane''

''How should I say it? Tell me? Anyway, why are you even here huh?'' now she was angry.

''I came to see you Jane. I wanted to apologize. I'm not asking for anything. I just wanted to see you, and let you know that I am around. And that I am here to stay''

Before Jane could answer, Angela waltzed in with her unyielding energy. Her face immediately lit up. Little babies were already flying about in her head, Angela was always forward like that. Imagine!

''Casey. Oh how wonderful to see you. How is work my dear''. Jane was throwing daggers at her mother, and the other half of her wanted to throw up.

Casey got to his feet swiftly and pulled Angela into a hug leaving a kiss on her cheek. Jane was astonished. She had NO idea that her mother and ex were now all chummy with each other. She wondered if there was more she was yet to stumble upon. Since she got home, only yesterday by the way, it had been one revelation upon another. She couldn't believe how a few months could produce so much change, it was unbelievable. There was only ONE thing that had changed about her; she had grown to love her mother to the point of doing just about anything for her.

Casey joined them for dinner and they got ample time to talk and catch up. Jane's mood was somewhat elevated by the time he left, though not completely.

''Why didn't you tell me he was back Ma'', Jane asked as soon as Casey left.

''There was a lot to discuss honey. It slipped my mind''

''You two seem super friendly I must say''

''When he came over all those months ago, we spent almost the whole week together. He was very comforting Jane. And you should remember I have always been fond of him, from when you guys were young''

''I know Ma'', she didn't know what to say.

''I never understood why you two broke up you know''

''I must be dreaming. You are not going to start this now'', Jane was already rubbing her temple in anticipation of a fall out with her mother.

''I'm not starting anything. I just wonder what the problem was. That was the only man that understood you Jane''

''Coz he's the only man I dated'', Jane shot back.

''Well why didn't you date again after you broke up with him? Isn't it just the same thing honey – the long distance relationship or no relationship''

''It's different'', she was trying hard to keep her calm, ''he lied to me. He gave me false hope. That hurt me Ma, and I wasn't interested in being hurt like that again and again. Why can't you understand that?''

''He's a good man Jane. And he isn't seeing anyone''

''Here we go again'', she knew her mother.

''What? Jane, do you have the slightest of ideas how painful it was to be without you. I did not even have a single bit of you, all of you was gone'', Angela spoke waving her hands along Jane's form. That was Angela's subtle way of saying she wanted grandchildren. Jane got the memo.

The guilt trip had commenced. Jane was all too familiar with it, and never took it to heart. But because of the incident, it seemed, Jane no longer ignored her mother. She seemed to feel like Angela was right. Like her mother had the right to feel the way she did, and to pressure her while she was at it.

''You should give the man a chance Jane. He's a good man.'', after a long pause she continued, ''can you tell me one thing?''

''Only if you tell me one thing'', Jane levelled.

''Sure. So tell me, why is it better to be alone than to be with Casey? I see-''

Jane cut her off very fast, ''you already asked your one question.''

''ok, ok, answer me then''

''I don't love him the way I should love him, the way he deserves to be love. I don't love him the way he loves me. I never did''

''So why not try again. Why not give it another go?''

''I don't know Ma. Now is just not the time. There is so much going on. I just got home for chrissake, and….'', she trailed of shaking her head.

''And…..'', Angela was waiting for more. She knew there was more.

''I didn't ask my question'', Jane quickly shifted gears, and when Angela nodded for her to proceed she went on, ''why didn't you tell me about Maura''.

''What about her?'', Angela was slightly confused at the sudden change in subject.

''Ma, you know exactly what I'm talking about''

It finally kicked in for Angela. Everything inside her went still. She wasn't even worried about where Jane had acquired the information from; she just didn't know what to say. And also, the elder woman had questions of her own pertaining to that incident.

''I'm guessing you don't know why you didn't tell me. Or you were trying to protect me or some shit like that right?''

''You just got home Jane. How do you expect me to unload all of that on you honey?''

''That was my best friend Ma. The only one I ever had, and you know it. Do me a favour next time huh? If there is anything, even vaguely relating to Maura you know of, let me know. I don't care what it is, let. Me. Know.'' She couldn't have emphasized those last words any more than she did.

''I will Jane. I promise. I'm so sorry''.

The two shared a long hug. Angela would not deny how thrilled she was by Jane's acute change in behaviour. Jane might have thought her mother hadn't noticed, but Angela saw, she felt Jane much much closer to her than she was before.

Jane was keeping count each day. Two weeks had passed and she was ready to ring Maura's attorney as arranged. Her hopes were thoroughly crushed to bits when he told her he hadn't spoken to Maura in a long while and that he had no idea where she was. His job had long finished when he had transferred the last of Maura's funds into her account. Maura had told him she would contact him when she needed anything. Other than that he knew nothing. At least that's what he told Jane. And he sounded convincing at it too. He knew she was in New Zealand, and he had her email address – that was it though. But he knew he would lose his job over divulging that information to anyone, so because he valued his job, he shut his mouth.

After three more calls to Constance and five more to Mr Perkins, Jane physically surrendered. She had no other option. The love of her life was still in her heart, always would be, but other than that, there was nothing else she could do. On some days she considered abusing her power and filing Maura under missing persons in the USA, and a few other countries. If it only involved her, she would do it. The ramifications meant nothing to her if it brought her Maura. But then she thought of how Maura would feel. She considered Maura's reputation and her feelings. Even though Maura loved her, their life following such an act would never be peaceful. She didn't want to be the cause of more pain to Maura. So she had begged Mr Perkins and Constance to tell Maura she was alive and that she needed her whenever Maura had got hold of them.

Maura was still in New Zealand. Still working at the school. Still torturing herself with thoughts about how fabulous her life had been months ago. She wasn't too surprised with the outcome of things if she was honest with herself. Things had never worked out well for her throughout her life. She didn't spend much time listing all her misfortunes down anyway. They were far too many and she knew it would just make her more miserable. The current state of her life now was how it always should have been – lonely and painful. It was just hard to settle back into that routine after knowing otherwise. But in general, Maura Isles' life remained pretty much the same as it had from the moment she landed in New Zealand. The public outburst had lessened, but that only increased the private night time crying. She was now capable of facing the little girl named Janie from her school without breaking down. Put on average, Maura's life was as good as it was ever going to be. She had put as much effort as she was capable of, that's all her whole self had to offer. If she could make it through the day in one piece, she considered it an achievement, and a good day even.

Jane had told her after they first met how Casey had kept a journey in which he documented his activities. Maura remembered how Jane had mentioned that she loved the sentiment, and that it made her know that Casey was thinking about her all the time. Jane had also said that when Casey sent her his journal entries, it seemed as if Jane had been with Casey through everything. Maura knew Jane would never be there to read her notebook entries, but it didn't stop her. She still wrote, all the time. She told Jane everything in that book. Just a week ago she had wrote on the last page and was thankful she managed to buy two more that were exactly the same. She knew there was plentiful writing she would do. Very little of it was about actual events, because those were very few and boring for Maura. The majority of her writing was about how she was feeling and all the times she missed.

September 22nd 2005

I was late for work today. Can you believe I over slept? I can't even believe it. I got a vehement warning from the head mistress about it. Sometimes I feel like I am back in high school with all the rules and strictness. It reminded me of that day we went car shopping…

''Ididn't know people made appointments to go and view a car. Don't you just walk into a car garage and look around?''. Jane was a little weary about anything with the word 'shopping' at the end coming from Maura's mouth. Not that she wouldn't do it anyway, she always did.

''You don't necessarily have to, but I heard Bill was very efficient and I didn't want to have to wait if he already had another customer'', Maura reasoned.

''That makes perfect sense''. Maura knew her sarcasm and was not the least bit perturbed by it. ''You do know we are going to be late right? Why did we have to do this during lunch? Couldn't it wait till after work, or the weekend?''

''Yes, but I need to make a choice about which car to buy soon. I can't keep postponing it Jane. Besides, I'm sure he wouldn't mind if we are a few minutes late''

They got to the Toyota car garage twenty minutes late. Maura was beside herself - always being the punctual one as it was.

''I wish you would calm down. It's not really a big deal you know''.

Before Maura could respond Bill made himself known. ''Maura Isles?''

''Yes, I apo-''

''I have been waiting for like half an hour now. I had to let go of two-'', he gestured lifting his fingers up, ''- potential clients in fear that you would show up whilst I was in the middle. The point of making the appointment-''.

Jane was having none of that. She pointed a very stern forefinger at the worthless salesman, ''don't you DARE speak to her like that you hear me? Don't you ever.''

Maura and the salesman stood slack jawed. Jane didn't have to say more to put her point across; the man got the message loud and clear.

…I thought of you when I was standing in the office and the woman was narrating the reasons why it's not acceptable to be late. I miss you Jane, terribly.

After two more weeks Jane got back to work. It was nothing like she knew it. She actually hated it. No Maura, no fun. The only thing that gave her the slightest bit of enthusiasm was that she was up for a promotion to sergeant beginning the following year if all went well. That had been her dream and she couldn't be happier. But when she had dreamed of it in the past, she had meant to please Maura the most. She knew the doctor would have been proud of her. And she knew it would keep her safer in her field escapades and give her more time with Maura. Now she wasn't too sure why she wanted it.

She and Casey had become friends as it was. It was easy to fall back into Casey's world. He got along with her brothers, her mother loved him, and he accepted Jane as she was. So as the beginning of December came, Jane and Casey became an item. Jane wasn't especially proud of her actions and her relationship with Casey, but she endured it. The happiness in her mother's life fuelled her to go with it. She was still living with Angela and as a Christmas gift Casey gave her the keys to his house. The gesture was obvious and everyone was so happy for her. Angela had peeped into the living room just before Christmas dinner was served and what she saw brought vigorous tears to her eyes. Her three children were playing a game of monopoly on her living room floor. Her Janie with Casey, Frankie with his new girlfriend Riley, and Tommy with his new girlfriend Lydia. Her heart swelled when she thought of how devastating the previous Christmas had been when Jane was assumed dead. She would never stop thanking her God for the fulfilment in her life. The only thing missing now where grand babies. If she got that ticked off the list, Angela swore she would die the happiest woman on earth.

AN : If I wasn't sure I am now, you guys hate me *hides*. Just remember, this is Angela's dream, not Jane's. Jane will get her fulfilment – Maura style. Thank you all those reading, it melts my heart I swear.