AN : I normally write poetry. This is my first time writing a multi fic story. That being said, it leaves me feeling obligated to bend to peoples demands. I know it's bad, but in all honest I am not strong enough, or confident enough in myself as it is. So after being a nervous wreck for a couple of days, I have decided to do a half way thing. I'm sorry. I am already working on my next story which will start right after this one. By then I should be feeling better about myself and able to stick to my plans. Someone also pointed out that they think my question was a ploy to earn reviews. It made me very sad. That is something I hadn't even considered, if I had known it may come out like that, I would never had asked and just gone on. Most of your reviews were so sweet they made me cry I swear. With all the alterations going on, the next two or so chapters may not come as quick, but I am going to do my absolute best to update as frequently as I did before. I am not even going to try to tell you how lovely you all are, there are no words. I will also do my best not to stray TOO much from my original plot. I also altered the story summary.

You will notice down there I took in some pointers from you guys. So if you posted a review or PM'd me and you find something you wrote to me lemme know so I can give credit to the appropriate people. I hope it doesn't piss anyone off. I would have put a disclaimer stating your names, but I can't go through all the messages again. But I assure all you readers, this chapter has plenty of ideas from you, so we will just call it ''OUR'' work for this one *wink wink*. You all are super helpful I swear!

The sun was an unwelcome distraction for Jane. She loathed the morning; especially the one she knew she was having that particular day. Sleep had been the best opponent for her crumbling life, and now it was failing her. That wasn't too surprising anyway; everything seemed to be failing her of late. And 'of late' translated to months for Jane. Her mind had fallen prey to Casey Jones. Her heart was in her mother's hands. Her time was stolen by work. She lent her joy to Frost, Korsak, Frankie and Tommy. Her love belonged to Maura. And now her body, the last thing she held onto that had not failed her as yet, finally gave in.

Two months she had dated Casey, and one month she had lived with him. She tried in that whole time to refrain from any and all intercourse related activities. Who was she kidding? Who dates, then moves in with someone and doesn't have sex with them? Whatever she thought she was trying to achieve was clearly not working.

February 15th it was that morning. Jane had the day off. Unlike the man in the kitchen making her breakfast, she hated to be off work. After a full half hour of pondering why her life was such as mess, she sluggishly dragged herself out of bed, not forgetting to name every curse word she knew.

After washing the remnants of Casey's body fluids Jane made it to the kitchen. She needed food – coffee first. Valentine's Day had been binge drinking day for the detective. She was sure the only way she made it through the evening was because of her intoxicated state. Now she had to face the music in a sober state, and that wasn't to brilliant an idea. Nonetheless, her options were limited.

''Morning honey'', Casey said as he danced across the kitchen to plant a kiss on Jane's very dry mouth. It was funny how sex could bring about this whole new person who was hiding within. Jane hadn't even spoken a word yet she felt exhaustion wash over her. She figured it was from putting up the front she did with her 'boyfriend'. The very thought of that word made all the residual alcohol make its work from her insides to her mouth.

Lovely morning isn't it, face in toilet (literally), she though.

''You should have taken it easy with the drinking last night you know. I bet you don't even remember how the night ended'', Casey said with a coy smile as Jane made a second entrance into the kitchen. The man was practically glowing.

''I think I have a fairly good idea''

''That's not too romantic a description for a first time, on Valentine's Day. I worked hard to make the evening wonderful for you babe''

''We've had sex before Casey. Or have you forgotten?'', agitation was on the tip of Jane's tongue of late and Casey knew it. He's answer was to always back off. He hated fighting with Jane, so he did anything in his power to let it slid whenever he could.

''First time since we've been together I mean''

Jane was in no mood to participate in an audible conversation about a topic she could not even speak about in her mind.

Always the smart one, Casey hurried to change topics. Apparently talking about a hot night of sex with your girlfriend was too sensitive a topic for said girlfriend.

''So what do you want to do with our day off today? I was thinking we could go to the movies, or for balling or something. The other guys from work invited us to join them''

''Nah, I think I'll pass. I'm severely hung-over and I got work tomorrow morning'', Jane was by no means going to entertain the idea of spending the day with Casey's friends or whatever.

''Babe, the last time we really did anything was like during the Christmas holidays. Don't you want to be out and just relax'', when Jane was about to argue he added, ''you can just chill and watch us ball''. The poor guy was pleading with a woman he didn't know had already made up her mind.

''Have you finished making breakfast, I'm starving''. Deflation – Jane's best friend (after sarcasm of course….oh wait, aaaaaand Maura)

''Sit, let me serve you mi'lady'', Casey put on a show of a waiter serving a very important and respectful guest, but Jane only had a mind of getting contents into her stomach though.

They had breakfast together in a somewhat uncomfortable silence. Casey wasn't too bothered. He had known Jane for a very long time so he knew things of a sexual nature weren't exactly a base for her.

After hungrily munching on her food, Jane quickly made her way back to their bedroom. She hopelessly threw herself in between the sheets and fell into a much needed slumber.

When Casey got to their room after cleaning up he realized Jane was fast asleep. He's first thought was to wake her but he thought better of it instantly. So Casey got himself ready, stuck a note by the bedside for Jane, and left to spend the day with his mates.

Jane slowly stirred out of sleep around 2pm, and she couldn't believe she had been fast asleep for the past three hours or so. Her moment of glory disappeared in half a second when she remembered the mess that was her life. The sad thing was that she couldn't even recall all the details of her previous night's love making session with Casey. She took that as a blessing though, she really preferred not to remember.

She got up to take a shower, which ended up being an episode in which she thought she may cause herself permanent emotional harm. Eventually she managed to pull herself together enough to leave her bathroom, but sank to the floor in a mess of tears again.

Just then, then doorbell rang. She wasn't going to answer it; she didn't need anyone seeing how pathetic she looked. When the person kept ringing and ringing she was left with no choice. Frankie was standing in front of her, reflecting how horrible she looked. He took a moment staring his sister down, waiting for her to let him in or shoo him away. When Jane stepped to the side, he gently let himself in and stood awkwardly to her side as if waiting for some sort of sign as to how to proceed. Those instructions came when Jane broke off into a fresh wave of tears. The younger man took his pained sister into his arms and led her carefully to the sofa.

''What's wrong Jane? Casey said he'd left you asleep. Is it Casey? Did something happen?'' he tried to sound gently through obvious accumulating anger. Jane just shook her head no. ''so what's wrong? Hey…'', he lifted up her face so she could look at him, ''..You can tell me ok''. She shook her head no again.

Like an epiphany, Frankie saw the whole picture. Since his sisters return, he had tried time and again to tell Jane how he had contributed to Maura's escape. No time had been right as Jane was either too hurt or too excited, and he never wanted to cause more pain for his beloved sister. And when he had seen Jane settle into this seemingly happy life with Casey, he had convinced himself that maybe Maura had been too rash in her actions. Frankie had basically told himself that maybe it wasn't necessary to bring back the past when everyone was starting to do so well.

Truth be told he had had his concerns about Jane's happiness, but he would never force it out of Jane. He knew his sister was the type that had to be left alone until they were ready. It seemed Jane was alright, so he figured they would never have to have that conversation. But in that moment, seeing his sister utterly torn apart and looking completely helpless, Frankie knew that was Jane telling him she was ready to talk. His suspicions about Jane's unhappiness were confirmed correct in a heartbeat.

Through his boldness to broach the subject, he felt several clashing emotions. Disappointed that maybe Jane wouldn't open up, pity that Jane would have given up on the love of her life, uncomfortable having to converse about his sisters sexuality, but mostly fear that Jane was going to explode over his revelation regarding the woman his sister loved.

But Frankie wouldn't let his sister down, come what may. She needed someone to talk to and who better than the person who already knew her inner turmoil.

''There is something I have been meaning to tell you since you got back Jane. I know you are going to be so furious with me, and I know I deserve it'', Frankie began cautiously.

''What is it again?'', she sounded so defeated and it hurt him badly.

''Jane-''

She went on as if he hadn't said a thing, ''you know, since I got here it feels like things are becoming worse by the day. After every short period, I discover something new. When is it going to finish Frankie? It's one worse thing after another and I just don't know what I am supposed to do all the information being thrown at me''

''I know what you mean Jane. But I am almost 100% positive this will be the last set of bad news being delivered to you''

Jane scoffed, ''its bad news'', it wasn't a question. ''it always is it seems. Please go on while I am still prepared to listen''

Frankie paused for a brief moment, trying to figure out where the best place to begin would be. He was sorting out his thoughts while Jane furiously rubbed her tears away. If he started by telling Jane all he said to Maura he knew she would be too upset to give him a chance to redeem himself, so he started from the very beginning.

He turned to look at Jane in eyes as he began what he hoped would not be the reason his sister would never speak to him again. He related in great deal how he had been feeling from the news about her death. Then told Jane how he and Korsak had sought refuge in her apartment before the media and police started interfering with all her things. He went on to relate how the two men had found Maura with a gun to her head and how korsak had essentially saved her life. Frankie could tell in was torturous for Jane to hear all he had to say, but he saw how grateful she was because everyone seemed to have skirted around particular detail for her sake.

''I didn't understand why she would want to do something like Jane. It felt selfish and inconsiderate given the situation'', he was trying to plead with Jane to understand, and he saw his sister was trying, albeit failing.

''I said horrible things to her Jane. If there is one thing in my life I could take back it would be that moment. I said the most awful of things to her….I told her she was an attention seeker, a terrible friend. I said she didn't love you and she was a horrible person for not standing by us…'', he was now crying as he continued to relay all he had said to the thoroughly torn doctor.

Jane was crying silent tears. The hurt she felt for Maura would last her a lifetime and beyond. She could see how truthful her younger brother was being and how much he really regretted it.

''I grabbed the letter she had in her hand and I accidentally took it with me to the park. When I sat down and felt a little calm, I read it. It was the letter from you'', Frankie let that sink in for Jane until he saw realization dawn on her.

''Then it all made sense to me Jane. Then I understood why Maura felt the way she did and why she wanted to do that. I went searching for her soon after, but she was nowhere to be seen. I wanted to beg for her forgiveness but she was gone Jane. I know I will have to spend the rest of my life apologizing for my actions; I will do it with no problems. I deserve it. I'm so sorry Jane''.

Jane was deeply hurt, but she loved her brother. He was being honest and she would give him that. It would be a while until she completely let it go, and she knew on occasion if she got angry she would bring it up. But in that moment she decidedly let it go.

''You are with Casey because of Ma right?''

Jane wouldn't say a word.

''You don't have to do that Jane. You never give up on things that matter. Why have you given up on Maura?''

Frankie would have sworn he saw her mouth open and close a couple of times but nothing came out.

''The whole Casey, you, marriage, grandkids BS is all Ma's dream, not yours. You deserve better than settling, especially when you know the love of your life is somewhere out there. It's not fair on you''

''She's so happy Frankie. I haven't seen Ma that happy in…forever. I feel like I owe her for having just disappeared off the face of earth like I did'', her voice was so low and contained not a single shred of the normal confidence the detective always had.

''You were kidnapped Jane! it's not like you ran off somewhere. And if she hadn't driven Pop crazy she would have a marriage of her own, even more kids if she so felt inclined. Your happiness doesn't have to depend on her. She had her life, is still having it, this is your life now. You get to dictate how it goes. If she likes Casey so much she can marry him then''. Jane was stunned to silence. She had NEVER heard her brother speak like that before. When the words sunk in she couldn't help how true they were. In the back of her mind she somehow knew all that Frankie had said, she probably just needed validation from someone else. She embraced her brother so hard and cried a different set of tears this time.

''I don't know how to not give up on her Frankie. I spent last week calling her mother every day and her phone doesn't even go through. Who knows which country she is in? And that stupid attorney doesn't know a thing. What do I do?''

''How do you think Maura would feel if she came back and found you cozied up in here with Casey?''

''What?'' Jane was shocked by the question. They had been talking about how to find her, now this!

''I said, how do you think Maura would feel if she came back and found you living here with Casey?''

Jane breathed a deep sigh. She had thought about that countless times, but never once allowed herself to answer the question when it crept into her mind.

''I've let her down I know. And she won't ever forgive me I'm sure. I think I put Ma's feelings before mine. And I think Casey served as a welcome distraction. I thought I was going to drive myself crazy and he was a good friend to me. Then things just sort of happened''

''I know sis. But I think maybe you need a new distraction. Maybe you should distract yourself driving that useless attorney crazy or looking for Constance or Maura's father. Have you even contacted him?''

''No. Maura hardly ever mentioned him. The whole time I knew Maura she never spoke to him. So I doubt I will get anything from him.'' Frankie was surprised to be able to knock some sense into his sister. The conversation was not at all what he had expected. Scenarios in his head comprised of curse words, raised voices, slamming door, and anything along those line.

''Still, I say you try. And you look for a 'healthy' distraction. Work or whatever you choose, just not something this hurtful Jane.''

''Ma said I had matured when I got back. I stand corrected – you have. Thanks little brother. You're the best you know?''

''Sometimes, not always''. Jane finally smiled. Frankie couldn't help how chuffed he was.

When Frankie went back to his place, he left Jane with a renewed vigour. She spent the day giving herself her usual 'you can do this' pep talk. Life was a bitch, and Jane Rizzoli had witnessed it first-hand. The detective didn't possess the full certainty that she would find Maura, but Frankie had given her enough courage to sustain her efforts in searching for Maura. And he had also reminded her that her happiness was important too, a fact she had long since forgotten.