Chapter0
-A Guide to Humans; by Kyubey part 1-
Us Incubators have gathered information on humans and their 'stereotypes'. This 'Internet' will be the main source of my research.
We will start of with the "Woobie"
The Woobie
A woobie is a person you feel sorry for. We Incubators do not feel pain, or sorrow. However, our race knows about weakness and being pathetic. When I saw you we didn't feel 'sorry,' I just thought, "Emotions equals energy, energy equals quota being filled."
Here we have a couple woobies for you that I have caught from the wild.
Example 1
Madoka: All…my friends are gone.
Gang of Punks: We're gonna beat you up.
Madoka: NOOOOO!
Don't you feel a strong emotion? I have learned that seeing something weak and helpless and in despair makes humans want to rescue it.
Example 2
Kyouko: Yeah, basically my crazy old Dad burned my family to death.
Kyouko is, to put it in your terms, a jerk. But, slap on a sad story and a reason why she is that way, and BAM you've got a woobie.
The Damsel In Distress
Normally, this person is weak and ends up in dangerous situations. They will get rescued a lot, generally becoming a burden on the team. Also, a handsome boy will rescue them. But, since they are 'cute', and 'make great casseroles' they stay.
Example 1
Mami: My…car… crashed. I hate…you…goose.
Kyubey: *deep manly voice* Make a contract.
Mami: Yay.
Here you can see that this girl is trapped under a car. She can't do anything at the moment, and will be rescued by the knight in shining armor.
Example 2
Moemura: I can't do anything right.
Izadel: Yeah, you know what's up!
Madoka: Come with me Homura-chan.
Moemura: *squeals violently*
*Repeat 15x*
In this example Moemura is pathetic. MadoKool saves her and then they ride off.
Mami: Kyubey, those aren't very accurate examples…
CoolBey: You're not the boss of me.