AN: Seriously, if you haven't listened to the song ''two is better than one - boys like girls'', you should consider it when you get to the last bit of the chapter.
Also, I promised a long chapter. But it became insanely long so I had to split it in two.
Maura had told Jane she could come with her to New Zealand. Jane's jaw had sat on the floor for a good minute when Maura told her she had run off to New Zealand. Regardless, she felt lucky that Maura had given her the opportunity to accompany her, because she was not willing to let Maura go, but had absolutely no idea how she was going to physically restrain the doctor from leaving. Jane had been persistent in inquiring what work it is Maura had been doing, but a vehement ''I'm not telling'' and a soft ''patience, you'll see'' is all she got. For a second she thought Maura had begun a music career or something, what with all the singing and all.
So when Maura finished vaguely relating what she had been up to during their torturous separation, Jane found it only fair to launch into her life on the other side of the world. She was surprised by the pride Maura reflected when she was explaining how she had managed to escape from Amos. What took Maura by surprise was the fact that Jane had calmed down and handled the situation rationally- especially given the fact that Jane was an instinctual actor, worse still in a situation where she was taken again her will.
After the exhaustion of speaking about such heavy subjects – with tears here and there, they went over to the basement to rummage through their old stuff. They took the moment to lighten the mood as best as they could, both women sensing they needed something to heighten their respective moods. To say that Jane was surprised that Maura didn't want any of her old clothes and shoes was an understatement. The detective attributed it to Maura's strange dressing in that particular moment. The dressing Maura had also refused to explain saying that Jane would have to wait till they got to New Zealand. Jane had joked a couple of times calling Maura a hippie. The situation had been laughable at the time, but as Jane thought about it more seriously, she got scared. All of that meant that Maura had in fact changed, and Jane had doubts about how things would progress with the 'new Maura'.
Angela got home in time for dinner. The atmosphere was a tad tense at best. All the lines were blurry and no one wished to run the risk of crossing over to the other side. The situation only got worse when Jane's phone rang for like the fifth time and two sets of eyes stared at her in anticipation. Jane knew it wasn't becoming of her to ignore it again, but she was also weary of the impending conversation with her boyfriend. She owed it to Maura anyway, and if the doctor was going to trust her again, Jane needed to give her reason. So she had picked up the phone at the dinner table and the room immediately fell dead silent.
''Hello'', Jane nervously spoke to her phone.
It was not a secret that the two women in Jane's company were dying to hear what Casey was saying on the other end. It was very unfortunate that wasn't possible, and they were left to deduce from Jane's answers.
''Like I said before, I spending the night here''. A brief silence followed by a sigh.
''I'm not sure right now. I will give you a call tomorrow morning''. Jane could feel the eyes penetrating through her.
''Sure. Goodnight''. She cut the phone as fast as someone disarming a time bomb would. Before she got a word out, Maura was on her feet headed for the bedroom. They had survived the rest of the afternoon and early evening with nothing but pleasant and polite conversation, now the heavy stuff was back and Jane was scared shitless. She had never been or dreamed of being in a situation such as her current one, therefore she was ill equipped to distinguish between proper and acceptable behaviour.
''You need to give her some time Jane. This is very hard on her'', Angela began when she saw how helpless her daughter looked.
''I'm afraid of giving her time. I feel like that will just give her the chance to run off again''
''You can't force her not to leave you Jane. You have to make her want to stay.'', she thought for a moment, ''why didn't you tell me you were in love with her?''
''I spent the best part of the time trying to understand the feeling myself, and as soon as I did I told Maura, then I was kidnapped. That doesn't really leave much room for 'coming out' does it?'', Jane felt embarrassed and refused to look her mother in the eye.
''You mean you told Maura before you were gone?'', Angela's eyes were wide with shock.
''Kinda lame, but I wrote her a letter the night before I left''
''Oh'', that's all the woman could come up with. It now made some sense now. Because she was still struggling to come to terms with Maura's behaviour, but now she could understand why the doctor was shattered in the way she was. ''it will be ok Jane. Just try to take it a day at a time''
''That's the problem Ma, don't you get it? I don't have the luxury of taking things a day at a time. Maura wants to leave, Casey won't stop pestering me, it's all just out of control.''
''Oh, Casey, right! What about him?'', Angela asked tentatively.
''Don't go there now Ma.'', Jane was partly angry with her mother when it came to the Casey situation and she had no desire to start a brawl with her mother in that moment so she let it go. ''You mind if I don't help cleaning up. I need to be with her''. Angela nodded sympathetically as Jane dashed off to face Maura. She wondered why she was even asking when her mind was clearly made up already.
Maura was sitting on the chair in the room looking so lost in thought. Jane smoothly walked in and sat by the edge of the bed looking towards Maura.
''I am going to purchase my ticket tomorrow to go back. I don't know if you are-''
''Yes I am Maura'', she cut the doctor off before she lost her mouth, ''I am still interested in coming with you. I wouldn't have it any other way. Would it be ok with you if I….'', boy there was no easy way to say this. No words could be better, or sound softer. ''is it ok if I go to speak with Casey tomorrow?''
''I hardly think you should be seeking permission from me to do that'', Maura deadpanned.
''I think I should. I just need about an hour so I can sort this out. Would it be ok if I did that tomorrow when he is done with work?''
''Jane…you don't have to pressure yourself like that. Like I said, I could go back whilst you get things sorted at a reasonable pace. And I could come back if there is still need for me to''
''We talked about this already Maura-''
''You can go and see him Jane'', Maura was in no mood for an argument. She'd had enough of those.
Since Maura had effectively put an end to that topic, Jane broached on another.
''So whatchu wanna do tonight? Care for a movie?'', Jane asked with a smile.
''Sounds nice, but I would much rather pack''
''Pack?'', Jane asked in full panic.
''To go to New Zealand Jane. Remember?'', She raised her eyebrows at the acutely flustered detective.
''Of course. I didn't know you wanted to leave so soon''
''The sooner the better for me. You have work Jane-''
''I'm going in to speak to Cavanagh about a leave. He will let me take one I know'', Jane answered confidently.
''How long?''
''I donno, however long you want'', Jane smiled back in a subtle suggestive tone.
Maura bit her lip when she met Jane's eyes, and took a little longer than necessary to reply.
''Let's make it a vacation for ourselves. Say three weeks?''
''Perfect! I will head to the precinct later tomorrow after packing – because I'm not doing that tonight'', she looked at Maura pointedly. Maura didn't argue, she knew Jane. ''hey, you know what? Maybe I could invite the guys over for dinner tomorrow night. All of them, just like the old days. And we could say our goodbyes, and you could say you hellos''. They both laughed.
''I'm not as enthusiastic about it as you may imagine, but I can't say I wouldn't love it either''
''I'll be there with you. And they all love you no matter what. Frankie also has a few things to apologize for''
Maura was amazed, ''he told you?''
''Ya. He's been beating himself up for a long while now. And after I leave the precinct I'll go and talk to Casey then I'll be here for dinner''
The mood shifted a bit at the mention of Casey. ''I'm sorry Jane. I don't want to be the person to remove you from this life you had created with Casey''
''The only thing I created with Casey was a lie. And if I know him as much as I think I do, he knows it too. There is nowhere I would rather be than with you. Please tell me you understand that?''
''You're going to have to earn my understanding Detective'', Maura raised her brows and tilted her head a bit. Jane always felt weak when Maura did that. In an attempt to not say anything stupid, she got off the bed and pulled Maura into a hug before speaking again.
''All I ask for is a chance. And I cannot tell you how grateful I am that you are giving me that. I will make sure you never live to regret it ok, I can promise you that. Thank you Maura''.
''You're welcome Jane. I did it because I love you''
''I love you too. You don't know how long I waited to hear you say that'', Jane replied.
''I think I have an idea. I went through something similar''. They laughed again before letting go of each other.
''While you sort things out at work, I'll sort out our travelling arrangement. And don't you even say anything about money because if you do I am taking back my offer''
That was enough to silence Jane.
''Is this how we're gonna get things done in the future – threats?''
Maura was still stuck on the word ''future''. Jane seemed to not even have noticed she said it.
''Sometimes'', she shrugged, '' When I want my way I guess I will have to pull the guns''
''Pull out the big guns'', Jane corrected.
With that Maura started to get ready. She was neatly folding away her things into the suitcase; she hadn't taken out too much stuff anyway so there wasn't much to pack. Jane left for a shower and after that got back to the room to find Maura clad in a cute pink cotton, short sleeved night dress. It looked so adorable Jane had to work hard to pull her eyes off Maura. The doctor just laughed.
They decided to have a seat with Angela and inform her of their travel plans. Angela was elated that they were getting along fine, but was extremely worried about how Casey would take the news. She decided however, to go along with the proverbial ''we'll cross the river when we get there''. She also got all excited about making dinner and having the whole family around, she was already cooking in her head. Jane couldn't wait for some time away from all that was Boston. She felt a tad suffocated and tomorrow couldn't come soon enough for her. Her greatest victory was the chance she had to reconnect with Maura away from any pressure and/or prying – just the two of them. She was going to have to work hard to not make a mess of things.
After their impromptu discussion with Angela they bid the older woman goodnight. Jane was a little fidgety when Angela left the room. She didn't want to be too presumptuous and head for the bedroom with Maura, but she also didn't want to…..well she didn't know to be honest. She was stuck between a rock and a hard place, and had no idea what to do with herself. So she just leaned from one foot to another while Maura curiously watched her. When Maura had had enough of the weirdness she finally spoke, ''you know we have shared a bed many a times before right?''
''Ya, it's just that….you know….I wasn't sure if…I donno know….since…'', she was too far gone from coherence and Maura had to chuckle a bit. She was enjoying making tough ole' Jane squirm. But she quickly felt sorry for her and saved the poor woman.
''I know what you mean Jane, but it's alright. Come on''
She pulled Jane by the hand and they walked to the room. Once there everything fell into a familiar normalcy. They both jumped to their respective sides of the bed and lay facing the ceiling. Maura was first to make a move when she reached out for her phone and started to play some music.
''I can hardly fall asleep without music these days.'' She admitted.
''I see where all the singing is coming from'', Jane chuckled.
Maura playfully swatted her as they continued to try to fall asleep. Thoroughly convinced there was nothing more to say in the present time, Jane said goodnight to Maura.
''Goodnight Jane'', Maura responded softly.
The doctor turned the lamp off and settled in facing away from Jane. The detective remained stiff as a board, discomfort radiating from her. Maura wanted to make her feel more comfortable and at ease, but she had no idea how. So she just settled for hope – hope that Jane would come around, or she would fall asleep quickly before things got too awkward.
It should have been about ten minutes later when the song that was playing finished and she had made a move to select another one that Jane spoke.
''Can you leave that on repeat'', she requested.
''Thought you were asleep''
''Nah. I was listening. You should listen to that song carefully''
It started again '' I remember what you wore on the first day. You came into my life and I thought hey
you know, this could be something. 'Cause everything you do and words you say, You know that it all takes my breath away, And now I'm left with nothin…..''
Maura hadn't even been listening to the words before. She had been too caught up in thoughts of her and Jane's compromised positions. The song rendered her instantly speechless.
'' I remember every look upon your face, The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste. You make it hard for breathing. 'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away. I think of you and everything's okay
I'm finally now believin….''
She would have sworn the song was written for them. And the tear that rolled out of her eye was a result of how wide her heart was expanding with the love she held for Jane.
'' Then maybe it's true that I can't live without you. And maybe two is better than one. But there's so much time to figure out the rest of my life. And you've already got me coming undone. And I'm thinking two is better than one….''
Maura mentally added that song to her list of favorite songs. Jane was so deep into the song when Maura turned to face her after the song was now starting to play again for the third time. ''you know I never used to understand that phrase before. The 'I can't live without you' one''
''Do you understand it now?'', Jane answered looking into big, round, hazel eyes.
''More than any scientific thing I have ever learned''
Out of fear of taking things too far too soon, Maura turned again to face the other side. It was like magnet; Jane could do anything about it even if she tried. She just found herself gravitating towards Maura as she slung her left arm over Maura's waist and quickly found the other woman's free hand, pulling her in. When Maura's backside was flush against Jane's front, Jane belatedly asked.
''Is this ok?''
''Yes Jane. Tonight will probably be my best in months''
They fell asleep peaceful as ever, relishing in the feeling of one another. Things wouldn't be ok tomorrow, or the week after, but they knew they had ''….much time to figure out the rest of their lives…'', just as the song lyrics were whispering to them.
AN: Casey won't cause too much trouble; I don't plan on having him lingering around any longer than he has to.