It was 8am when Darren came back out to the kitchen to put some coffee on. He glanced at his phone - 6 missed calls from Ryan. What could he be calling about? He'd definitely have to call him back after he'd had his coffee. Ignoring Ryan was not a good idea.

Chris smiled up at him as Darren carried their coffees into the bedroom. "Thanks Darren," Chris said sleepily, moving to sit up. He took his coffee, placing it on his bedside table, and moved to give Darren a kiss on the lips, as he got back in the bed next to Chris.

"I'm not sure if I should be worried or not," Darren commented after drinking some of his coffee,"but I have six missed calls from Ryan."

"Six! I wonder what he wants?" Chris mused. "Maybe he's going to tell you off about something."

Chris laughed quietly.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh I'm just remembering that time Ryan gave you a shouting down his office.. I can't even remember what you'd done now.."

"Glad you found it funny..."

"God, you looked like a little boy in there. We were all peering through the glass at you after we heard the shouting and I remember your face was bright red. It really looked like the head teacher and the naughty pupil."

"I remember I felt like crying..and I rarely cry, especially not at work.."

"Mmm, you rushed off to your trailer afterwards refusing to talk to any of us. I tried to make you let me in, and I think you did eventually, but it took a lot of pleading on my part."

"I almost kissed you that day," Darren whispered, glancing a look at Chris. "You came in, and you just held me - and soothed me. I think I felt so vulnerable - and I just wanted to kiss you.."

"I remember," Chris said quietly. "We eventually cuddled on your couch and fell asleep, making us late for our next scene." Chris pressed his lips against Darren's cheek.

"I think I'm just worried because his parting words to us were that he didn't want to see or hear from us until we were all back in rehearsals in January, so now I'm wondering what he's doing trying to call me in Christmas break." Darren looked over at Chris. "I just have a bad feeling about this.. Has he tried to phone you?"

"Not sure. I have to admit my phone had died. I've put it on to charge now, but he could have tried me I suppose. Does he know we're here together?" Chris blushed slightly as he said the word 'together'.

It didn't go unnoticed by Darren, who smiled over at him, reaching to squeeze his hand. "This has all been so nice - really nice..." He paused. "I think I may have mentioned it to Lea, but obviously she doesn't know we're 'together', Darren air quoted with his fingers, "so basically he could know we're both in New York but I don't think so.."

"Surely it can't be anything that bad can it? Its probably just a promotional thing or something he wants you to do...I don't think you can keep the big man waiting though. You're gonna have to call him at some point - you might as well get it over with."

"Yeah ...I will. In a minute...

They finished their coffee in silence.

"Chris." Darren broke Chris' thoughts.

"Hmm?" Chris looked up at Darren.

"I think you might want to look at flights home soon. Airports are all open now, but I heard there may be a rush with everyone wanting to get back home for Christmas, especially as lots of flights were cancelled yesterday."

Chris put his cup down and moved closer to Darren guiltily, snuggling into his side. "Don't be mad at me.." he began talking mainly to Darren's torso.

Darren wrapped his arm around Chris' shoulder, kissing the top of head. "O...k..ay..., why would I be mad?

"I kind of phoned my mom this morning while you were making coffee.." Chris leaned up capturing Darren's lips. Conversation was forgotten for a few moments as their mouths moved against each other.

"Chris?," Darren murmured keeping his face close to Chris'.

"I just told her I was going to stay here for Christmas," Chris said as nonchalantly as he could, ignoring Darren's wide eyes. "Sorry," Chris whispered after a moment, "I should have checked with you first .. It's just.. I feel we've just found each other and I just want to stay here with you.."

Darren kissed away Chris' rambling. Hard. Pulling him in closer.

"I'd love that," Darren said softly, their faces still close, "why would I be mad at you? I just hope your family aren't mad that you're staying in New York though."

"I sort of told them we'd both go for New Year. They love you already, and when they find out we're together they'll love you even more...and I love you and I just want to be with you.." Chris buried his head in Darren's neck.

"Hey, come on," Darren soothed, running his fingers through Chris' hair, "I love you too, and I'd love to spend New Year with your family.."

****
When Chris came out of his bedroom, showered and dressed,
Darren was sitting on the couch, clad in only his boxer- briefs, looking down at his phone he was holding.

"Did you phone him?"

"Yeah." Darren looked up. "Not particularly good news, I'm afraid.. He did quite a lot of swearing down the phone.."

"God. What's happened?"

"There's been some pictures of us - at the ice rink actually."

"Bad ones?"

"Some showing us kissing, from what I can gather.." Darren sighed.

"That's okay... Isn't it?" Chris asked cautiously. "We're not keeping us a secret are we.. Or are we?"

"It's not that simple..basically the studio have denied everything on our behalf. I don't think the pictures are the best quality..." Darren looked down at his bare thighs, "and Ryan says and I'm kind of quoting here, 'if I fucking find out you two are in a relationship and are fucking flaunting it in public, I am going to go fucking mad and personally find you both and fucking kill you.' Darren took a shaky breath. "Oh and he happened to mention that the scripts haven't been finalised for next season yet.. And have I said he was really pissed off?"

Chris knelt down in front of Darren, grasping his hands. "We can keep it a secret for now, if we have to. Let me phone him and explain..."

"No." Darren rubbed his thumb over Chris' knuckles on one hand. "You should have heard him, he was the angriest I've ever heard him. It was as if he kind of knew it was true.. He did say he'd leave me to tell you, so I'm guessing he thinks he's right but isn't sure.."

"I love you Darren, and that's all I care about." Chris was near to tears.

"I love you too Chris.. But I'm not sure I can do this.. Do this to you. I'm sorry, I was being selfish , this will ruin our careers. Everything you've worked so hard for...we just can't be in a relationship right now."

Angry tears were streaming down Chris' face. "Fine." He shouted, standing back up. God why did Darren evoke such extreme emotions in him? "I don't suppose I get a say in this. A say in my own life. I'm just so happy that everything we've done in the last 24 hours meant so little to you.. That's just peachy."

Chris grabbed his coat, boots and bag which were by the front door and slammed his way out of the apartment. He couldn't wait for the elevator, so he stomped his way down the stairs, knowing Darren wouldn't be able to follow him, dressed only in his underwear. It was only when he reached the bottom of the last flight of stairs that he realised he didn't have his phone. He didn't need it anyway - there was certainly nobody he wanted to talk to at the moment, and there was no way he was going back up for it.

Chris had no idea how long he walked the streets. The air was tortuously cold, but he relished the pain of it. When he eventually found himself in a small coffee shop some hours later he had absolutely no idea where he was. He ordered himself the largest size of coffee they sold, knowing he looked a wreck, but not caring. He'd stopped crying by then, but was sure his face would be puffy and blotchy from the hours of crying he'd done earlier, but he wasn't trying to impress anyone, in fact he was happy to let everyone see just how miserable he felt.

Chris tucked himself away at a table in the back corner of the shop, grabbing a newspaper off the rack to hide behind. When he finished the huge coffee he'd ordered, he went and ordered himself another one the same. He may as well overdose on caffeine - he didn't have anything else going for him at the moment. Chris would have been happy to wallow here all day, and it was only the desperate need for the bathroom after drinking so much coffee, that meant he annoyingly had to leave his seat.

Chris took to the streets again. He thought about catching a cab to the airport. He could catch the first available flight home to his parents, even if he had to wait for hours it had to be better than wandering the streets aimlessly. Then he thought about the explaining he'd have to do when he arrived home with no luggage, having already phoned and told them he was staying in New York for Christmas. God, no, he couldn't bear it. Was it really only a few hours ago he was so hopelessly in love that he changed his Christmas plans? Fresh tears sprang to his eyes, just when he thought he couldn't cry anymore.

Eventually Chris found himself outside a small retro cinema showing West Side Story, and he decided to go in, mainly to keep warm. This was one of his favourite films, and he would have normally considered it sacrilege to doze through it. Today was definitely not a normal day and when the credits came up at the end, Chris found that he had slept through most of the film, and he really didn't care.

On his way out of the cinema, Chris thought to ask where he was. It was pitch black outside, temperatures were below freezing and unless he was going to find a hotel for the night, he was going to have to go back to the apartment.

It was the early hours of the morning by the time Chris quietly let himself in the apartment. He was both physically and emotionally drained - he felt like he could sleep for a week.

At the sound of him coming in Darren had shot up off the couch, looking as if he hadn't fared any better than Chris. He gathered Chris up in his arms, literally picking him up off the floor. "Chris, I've been so worried," he whispered in a choked voice.
Chris responded by wrapping his arms tightly around Darren's neck, sobbing loudly.

Eventually Darren had got them both over to the couch, and when everything had calmed down a bit, had removed Chris' coat and boots and covered him in blankets. He forced him to have hot chocolate and toast, eating with him for encouragement. At the end of it all he'd dragged Chris into his lap, rocking him gently.

"I hate you," Chris muttered in his sleepy state.

"I hate me too," Darren whispered into Chris' hair. After a short pause. "Shall we go to bed?"

Chris blinked his eyes open a few hours later, slowly remembering the events of yesterday. He was met by Darren's warm hazel eyes looking back at him, just a few inches away. "Did you get any sleep?," Chris asked quietly.

"Yeah, I slept quite well, all things considered...god I'm sorry Chris...I had lots of time to think yesterday - I don't want to let anyone else tell me who I'm allowed to love, whatever the consequences. I know I seem to be doing nothing but apologising lately, but please forgive me." Darren moved in to kiss Chris, hoping He wasn't too mad at him to reciprocate.

Chris' eyes filled with tears as he kissed Darren back. They kissed slowly but sensually, moving to deepen the kiss, moaning at the sensation.

Darren took this time to learn Chris. He stripped them both naked, kissing tiny kisses over every part of Chris' body. Chris screaming Darren's name as the kisses reached the highly sensitised areas of Chris' body.

"Darren. Darren. Oh Darren. Please. Please Darren."

Darren reached to get the lube and condom. "No condom Darren." Chris pulled him down for a kiss. "No condom." Darren nodded against Chris' lips.

Darren made love to Chris so gently and sweetly until Chris couldn't remember his own name, and could do nothing but recite Darren's name over and over.

"I'm still mad at you," Chris pouted as they lay tangled together a short while later.

(Thanks for reading)