Chris was having a busy morning. Although he hadn't wanted to come home and back to reality, now he was here he actually felt quite invigorated. He had woken up this morning at a ridiculously early hour, especially considering he and Darren had woken each other up periodically through the night for reassuring touches and kisses. It must be the adrenaline rush Chris decided. No doubt once he got back to work, he'd crash and burn.
Darren had reluctantly set off back to his own apartment after breakfast. He needed to get himself organised for his meeting, and just generally make sure his apartment was still in one piece. His flatmate, Joey, had been there some of the time, but was currently still away visiting his family. Chris knew he and Darren couldn't stay joined at the hip forever, much as he loved them being together. Chris had always been independent, even though he had joined the Glee cast at the tender age of sixteen, and if he was going to become clingy boyfriend material….well, that may not be the type of boyfriend Darren would want. Chris never felt like he had to worry with Darren, always able to be himself, never having to pretend to be something he wasn't, but Chris quickly recognised that 'needy' wasn't always an endearing quality. If they gave each other space, their time together would be all the more special. That was the theory.
Lunchtime had rolled around and Chris had steamed through quite a few household tasks. He'd done several loads of washing, having persuaded Darren to let him do his as well. 'You'll need to leave some clothes here anyway - so why not let those clothes be the ones that stay here.' He'd cleaned and tidied (not having had any time to do anything before jetting off before Christmas) , been grocery shopping and was now situated on the couch with Brian curled up beside him, laptop open. He really hadn't got much writing done in the last few weeks, and he had deadlines, work needed to be done.
He vaguely wondered, as he typed, what time Darren would be finished with his agent. They'd planned for Darren to come round when he was finished, and they would enjoy their last day of freedom doing, well just whatever. As his mind had started to wander away from his writing, he decided to take a short break, make something to eat and then hopefully Darren would be back soon. Chris opened the fridge, his eyes roaming over the newly bought contents. He really wasn't that hungry. Grabbing a diet coke, he headed back to the half written chapter on his laptop, trying to ignore the gnawing worry in the pit of his stomach. Chris hadn't said anything to Darren about it, but he knew Darren had been worried about his meeting today, and if he hadn't already realised it, he was sure Darren's desperate goodbye kiss to him would have given it away. Darren was an easy going kind of guy who seemed to take life as it came, leaping into everything that came his way with unwavering enthusiasm, so the fact that Darren was worried had Chris feeling a bit on edge. He'd eat later.
Four o'clock ….that was quite late for a meeting to still be going on that had been due to start at one, but there was probably a simple explanation. Chris' afternoon of writing wasn't proving to be as productive as he'd hoped; he just wanted Darren to come home. Darren's agent had probably been running late or something and they'd probably had a lot to talk about, it had been ages since they'd got together face to face….. or maybe there was a problem at the apartment. There was probably a simple explanation, Chris was sure. He was renown for getting things out of proportion.
The minutes ticked past. Then he had another idea - Darren's phone had probably died, he almost hoped it had. Chris doubted Darren had even located his charger since they'd been back in LA, meaning he wouldn't be able to let Chris know what was happening. Another look at his phone to see if he'd missed any messages, all thoughts of writing anymore this afternoon abandoned. Chris closed the laptop lid - he couldn't concentrate.
By five o'clock Chris was really worried. Was he being silly? Darren wasn't a child…he didn't have to tell Chris his every move. It was just that he usually did. Even before, they'd regularly update each other on what they were doing - texts littered with witty comments, and looking back on it now, quite a lot of mild text flirting. It didn't change the fact that Darren would normally have been in touch by now - he really hoped nothing was wrong, and Darren had just been tied up for longer than expected without a fully functioning phone.
At six thirty, just as Chris had his finger poised over Darren's number on his phone, about to abandon his determined effort not to be a needy boyfriend, Darren came in, using the key he'd had since one month into their friendship. One look at Darren, and Chris knew something was up. He moved over to hug him tightly, wanting to silently show Darren he was there to give him all the love and support he needed, whatever was going on.
Darren felt a wonderful warm glow when he woke up in Chris' arms this morning. They'd been too tired to do anything but sleep last night, but choosing to sleep without clothes had been the best idea, ever. They'd woken up just enough a few times during the night to share a few gentle caresses, followed by a heated make out session early this morning. Darren knew he loved Chris, but this felt so good, so right, beyond anything he'd ever experienced before.
Darren had always got on well with Simone, his agent. That was one of the reasons why he'd chosen her when his successes started to need the help of a professional. That, and the fact that she had a glowing reputation. In her early thirties, she was a striking woman with flowing long blonde hair, and standing a good six inches taller than Darren in her killer heels. She was sweet and funny, except when she was fighting for the rights of her clients, when she was politely persistent. She stood to give Darren a tight hug when he joined her at the table in the bistro where they'd arranged to meet. "Like the stubble," she commented as Darren sat down opposite her.
"That'll have to come off tonight," Darren smiled. "It's not something Blaine is into at the moment." They continued with a bit of small talk. Darren knew they'd get on to important matters soon enough.
"Congratulations on you and Chris,' Simone smiled, "it's really nice you two have got together, although I must admit I'd often wondered if you two weren't already together.."
Darren groaned. "It seems you're not the only one."
"Seriously though, I'm really happy for you."
"I'm not sure everyone thinks like you…..I hadn't realised our relationship would be anyone's business but our own.."
"Mmm." Simone didn't elaborate. They both ordered from the small lunchtime menu, as the waitress arrived at their table, Darren just choosing water to drink with his meal - wanting to keep a clear head. They moved onto discussing what they'd both been doing over the Christmas break, and finally when their food arrived, Darren could stand it no longer.
"Okay… I know this isn't just a ' how are you Darren' get together. Just spill." He nervously moved his food around his plate with his fork, not even being able to bring himself to actually eat anything. He looked up at Simone cautiously, trying to read her face.
"Ok..ay, well I guess I have good news for you… but in light of everything else you've got going on in your life at the moment, it may not be quite as good as it might have been." Simone didn't usually talk in riddles, but today was obviously an exception. Darren didn't speak. He honestly couldn't think of anything to say.
"Look Darren," she continued, "I know you've been keen to be in another broadway show for a while now - and an opportunity came up a few weeks ago for playing 'Sky' in Mamma Mia, which I have to say would be a great part for you." She took a sip of her drink. "I'd been trying to negotiate with the musical's producers and Ryan. Mamma Mia wanted you for three months, and wouldn't agree to a shorter stretch. Obviously, as you know, you're under contract to be in Glee, and it just wouldn't fit in. Now, all of a sudden, Ryan is saying okay to you doing three months, starting quite soon actually."
Darren felt a whole range of emotions run through him in a nanosecond. Mamma Mia was one of his favourite musicals - the part sounded fantastic. Then, oh god, what would Chris say? Actually Darren didn't want for them to be apart for so long at the moment, he honestly didn't think he could bear it. Then he wondered was he being released from his Glee contract? Ryan had more or less hinted at it, although Darren had assumed (hoped) that was a heat of the moment thing, and Darren thought all that had blown over….
" Darren," Simone said reassuringly, after taking one look at Darren's worried face. "The musical is a good thing. Glee won't last forever… for any of the cast. You're not being taken out of the show. Apparently the story lines will allow for you to film all your relevant scenes and do your song recordings within the next two weeks, meaning you can head to New York to start Mamma Mia rehearsals. For some reason, Ryan contacted the Mamma Mia producers directly to arrange it all, but of course you can say 'no' if that's not what you want. I must admit, I am surprised at Ryan's change of heart….I thought you had a good storyline coming up..maybe you still have, I just don't know.'
Darren shook his head. He explained in detail his initial conversation with Ryan. He relayed how angry Ryan had been about the pictures of him and Chris together and then told Simone about Chris' subsequent phone call, where at the end of it they had both thought everything would be alright. He knew Simone had his best interest at heart. "Darren, if anything like that happens again, please phone me - it's what I'm here for. That sounds completely out of order. I truly can't say if Ryan's mind change about Mamma Mia is anything to do with that or not, I don't think we'd ever be able to prove it if it was."
"My career has been everything to me," Darren spoke quietly, hardly able to look at Simone. "I could never imagine a time when it wouldn't be the most important thing in my life, never imagine that anything else could be more important. I seriously never thought I could be so in love with another person that it could affect any career decisions I might make… Oh don't get me wrong, I'm pretty sure I'll do the show - it's a dream come true - but this is going to be really hard for Chris and me. I just wish there was another way…"
Simone nodded, completely understanding where Darren was coming from. She had met Chris many times and was very fond of him. "Life's not so complicated when you're younger. You can pursue your dreams single-mindedly…and the type of person you are Darren, well, you just have too much humility to trample over everyone else's feelings on your way up to the top - you're such a genuine person. I've honestly never heard anyone have a bad word to say about you. Whatever you decide though, just know I'll be behind you one hundred percent."
Darren blushed a little at Simone's words. "Wow… thanks Simone…. However it doesn't change the fact that I've got to work out how to tell Chris.' Darren pursed his lips in thought. "I mean, I know he'd want what's best for me, the same as I do for him. It's just that we kind of need each other at the moment….. we've both spent so long wanting each other, but not doing anything about it, that now we've taken that extra step we just want to be together more." Darren paused, "I'm sure that sounds ridiculous, us being two grown men and all…"
"Look, go home and talk to Chris. Call me tomorrow. I think Ryan wants to see you first thing, so maybe call me after you've spoken to him and we can go forward from there." Darren had a lot to think about.
Darren didn't feel ready to go home just yet. His mind had a lot to process at the moment; he just needed some time to himself . He couldn't help but feel angry that his life was being orchestrated by other people and he didn't want to go back and take his frustrations out on Chris. There was every chance Simone may have been able to eventually negotiate him a run in Mamma Mia during the summer break. Chris could have then come with him, at least for some of it - Chris would have loved a summer in New York; an ideal location to do his writing. Now they'd probably both be pretty miserable being apart, when things could have worked out so much better. It was as if someone, either Ryan, or a greater force, was testing him - trying to test his loyalties. He felt as if any control he had over his own life was spiralling away from him.
Darren sat for a while on a bench in the local park, just watching the world go by. It was so peaceful here. The tranquility had a very calming effect, and he hadn't realised how tense he was until he felt the tight knot in his stomach loosen a little. He could see two small children in the playground, their mother looking on. Darren couldn't help but smile as they played, looking almost comical in the many layers of clothes they wore to protect them from the cold, giggling to each other as they wobbled their way between pieces of play equipment. It suddenly dawned on him. He wanted all this one day. He could just picture him and Chris settling down, having their own family some time in the future - the vision made him feel warm and fuzzy. He had surprised himself - not having known that was something he wanted.
Inevitably, Darren's thoughts eventually turned back to his current problems. For some reason Darren had always felt very protective of Chris, not that he necessarily needed protecting per se, but he was not much more than a boy in some ways. Okay, he had a wise head on young shoulders, but a lot of that was because he'd had to grow up quickly in the industry he was in. Of course, when Darren had come on the scene Chris had already worked out how to handle himself, but Darren knew Chris was pleased he was there to take some of the pressure off him at times. Being in a gay relationship on a popular tv show came with inevitable opinions and questions from others, and the fact that they were both in it together was a great support, to both of them.
Now, Darren felt like he was about to make things a lot worse for Chris with their own relationship just going public; there'd be sure to be speculation about whether they were still together once Darren went to New York for a few months. Was this the price of fame? It was something that people talked about, but until now, not something that Darren had truly understood.
Feeling a little guilty, Darren noticed daylight was beginning to fade. He had never intended to be this long. Chris would be sure to be worried; they always kept in touch, just letting each other know what they were doing. It was just what they did. Annoyingly Darren noticed his phone had gone flat - he knew he should have charged it last night! Their first day apart in their new relationship, and already he had failed. It was time for he and Chris to have a talk. They knew they'd have to face real life eventually, but Darren didn't think it would come and slap him in the face quite as quickly as it had.
There was no point trying to pretend nothing was wrong when he arrived back at Chris' apartment. They knew each other so well that one look at Darren's face had told Chris everything. They'd both shed a tear when they realised how much this was going to affect them. Even if Chris managed to fit in some short visits to New York, their time apart would be extensive. With rehearsals for Mamma Mia followed by Darren's three month stint on the show, the time would be bordering on four months. It felt like a lifetime. Chris could barely manage an afternoon without Darren, and with Chris probably having early mornings and long days for filming and Darren mainly working evenings, even their skyping time could be limited.
They cuddled up on the couch watching 'The Notebook'. Why did feeling sad always make you feel like watching tear jerkers? They'd indulged in 'cheer me up pizza', and were both feeling too full to move much. Chris could have quite happily wept buckets when Darren had told him about the meeting he'd just had with Simone, when really they should be celebrating such a great career opportunity. This offer was important for Darren, and Chris knew he'd be perfect for the role. The was no way Chris would let him consider not taking the role. "You know you've got to take the Mamma Mia part, don't you?" Chris questioned looking up at Darren's face as he half lay on top of him on the couch. "There's just no way I would let you turn it down. It's everything you've wanted - and I'm planning to come and see you in it, as many times as I can."
Darren was relieved that Chris insisted on coming to his meeting with Ryan the next morning. They were a couple, and this affected both of them, and Chris knew Darren was a little more fearful of Ryan than he was. Chris was Ryan's 'golden boy', and if necessary he would use it to his advantage. One look at Chris' tight lipped face, Ryan could see it would be fruitless trying to tell Chris he couldn't come in. The boy was always fawning over Darren, and going by the fact that their hands were firmly linked together he could tell that Chris was going to be more protective of Darren than ever now that they were sleeping together. This meeting had the potential to get out of hand if things weren't handled carefully.
"Have a seat boys," Ryan gestured at the chairs the other side of his desk. He paused, allowing them to settle down before he spoke. "Now, if you want to sit in on this meeting, I want you to stay calm," he said to Chris, even though the meeting was supposed to be about Darren with Chris just offering moral support.
"Well that sentence says it all," Chris commented snarkily. At the moment he had little patience.
Ryan raised his eyebrows at Chris. To be honest, only Chris could get away with talking to him that way. Although Chris could be a bit immature at times, Ryan knew he was only fired up to defend Darren, so he let the comment slide.
"Whatever your reasons or excuses you could at least have spoken to Darren first," Chris offered, before Ryan could speak. Darren squeezed Chris' hand, silently trying to ask Chris not to rush in to this with all guns blazing. "You've obviously done this on purpose.."
"Right that's enough,' Ryan said loudly, looking sharply at Chris. "This isn't about you. Just let me speak… If you're going to insist on behaving like a spoilt child, I'm not going to let you stay in here. So just be quiet."
Chris bit his lip, desperate to retort. Instead he glared in his lap, not trusting himself to make eye contact with Ryan.
"I'm sorry," the producer said softly to Darren, now ignoring Chris. "I maybe should have spoken with you directly, but things have been pretty chaotic round here. If you don't want to go to New York, you don't have to…."
"I do want to," Darren nodded, "but I'm sorry, for some reason I just can't shake the thought that you've done this now as some sort of punishment for Chris and I getting together. I hope I'm wrong… it's just.. well, why are you suddenly allowing me to do it now?"
"Seriously, it's nothing sinister. Blaine's not in so many scenes this series, and that's just until he gets to New York and joins Kurt…." Chris and Darren glanced at each other. "Really we just realised we could schedule everything so you could do your Broadway show as well."
Chris almost forgot where he was as he leaned across to hug, Darren. They'd both been worried whether Blaine would join Kurt in New York, and now Ryan had given them this golden nugget of information…. Darren breathed shakily against Chris' neck as he pulled Chris into his lap. Meeting or not, he was happy, and he didn't care who saw it.
Ryan smiled at the scene in front of him, clearing his throat to get their attention. "It's not as bad as it sounds," Ryan said to them both. "Kurt won't be having quite so many scenes this series either, and we've decided some of the New York scenes are going to be filmed on location. So before you jump down my throat, I happen to think you'll be able to see each other a lot more than you'd originally thought…" Ryan wasn't entirely sure if either boy was listening to him as they exchanged little butterfly kisses on the lips…
"You didn't think to mention all this before today," Darren said, sounding a little harsher than he intended. "You may have been busy, but you've no idea how much grief we've suffered in the last twenty four hours.." Darren pulled Chris closer to him protectively.
"Look, what's done is done." Ryan sighed inwardly. Dealing with these two as a partnership was going to be harder than he thought. "I'll email you your schedules in the next day or so.. but just so you know - if I find you two being late for any of your calls because you're having wild sex in one of your trailers, I - will - not - be - happy."
An hour later in Chris' trailer, Darren was easing himself up and down on Chris' cock, slow and steady. "We're going to…..ugh… to christen every.. oh," Darren shifted his position slightly, "available.. surface in. this. fucking. trailer." Chris gripped his hands tightly on Darren's flexing thighs, and Darren gave up trying to talk as a loud guttural moan escaped his lips. He could never, ever, ever get enough of this.
(Thanks for reading)