CHAPTER NINETEEN

REST AND RECREATION

It had only been three weeks since the Hermitage nightmare. They had stayed two more days at the rented cabin while he wrapped up all the loose ends from the mission. He made sure that Steph was in his sight the entire time. The trauma she had gone though could still have hidden effects and he was well aware of how PTSD manifested itself. To be bluntly honest, he needed to know she was all right for his own peace of mind. The guilt that his actions had pushed her to such stupid and desperate measures weighed heavily on his heart.

Ranger decided that they both needed some decompression time and arranged a surprise for her. Instead of going back to Trenton, they flew to the Florida Keys. There, he had arranged for the use of a private bungalow on one of the smaller islands. "Babe, you still have almost a week's vacation left. Let's spend it making some good memories," had been his reasoning to her.

Steph didn't even argue or question. Her uncharacteristic passiveness had him worried. She hardly spoke the entire flight and spent most of the time gazing through the window but focusing on nothing. He would give her a few days. If she still was so withdrawn, he would call a psychiatrist that the "company" used after burned missions.

They arrived at the bungalow late in the afternoon. It was located on the western side of the island. Their nearest neighbors were a mile away. Considering the entire island was only five miles long, they were practically isolated. She perked up slightly as he drove their rented Jeep down the winding drive towards their bungalow.

"Oh, it's so pretty here!" She even showed him a genuine smile. But by the time he had their luggage stowed in the bedroom, she was back to her sullen self. He found her standing on the balcony, staring at the water.

Standing close to her, Ranger leaned casually on the rail. "Babe, I know the last few weeks have been awful as hell, but it's all over now. You're safe and I'm right by your side." He wanted to wrap his arms around her and hold her close. But the 'no trespassing into my personal space' vibe she was sending out was too strong to ignore.

"How will you ever forgive me?" She spoke so softly that he had to strain to hear her.

"Forgive you? For what? You had no idea what the Hermitage really was or that Gwyn was a world-class douche bag. Shit, if anything, you helped a lot of women get their lives back and put some really bad people in jail. I'm proud of you, Babe." He pushed himself off the rail and reached for her.

She backed away quickly and clenched her fists at her sides. And then, the dam broke. "Proud? Proud? How can you be proud of me? I humiliated you in front of everyone you know. I forced you to call in favors from people you have tried to avoid for years. I jeopardized you entire lifestyle and possibly your business. And on top of all that, everyone now knows that I'm a pervert! Jeanne Ellen was right. You are so much better off without me!" She was shouting. She was shaking. She was crying. She was falling apart in front of his very eyes.

He was hit by so many emotions at once, that it took him a minute or so to prioritize his thoughts. First was how to get a hold of Jeanne Ellen and strangle the living shit out of her. She would pay for stepping way out of bounds. He needed to calm and reassure Steph. He needed her to understand that none of what she believed was true. He found himself beginning to shake with anger.

He took a couple of deep cleansing breaths and approached Steph slowly. "OK, there is so much wrong with that statement that I don't quite know where to begin. First, no one forces me to do anything I don't want to do. You have never and will never humiliate me. You have surprised me uncountless times, but you have never humiliated me…ever."

By this time he had his hands on her shoulders. It took super human self-control not to squeeze the negative thoughts right out of her. He was careful to keep his voice calm and not alarm the fragile woman in front of him. "Many people owe me many favors. And it was about damn time I collected on a few of them. What I jeopardize and who I choose to jeopardize it for is my business and my choice. And I will choose you over anything on this planet."

"And lastly, trying to find your sexual needs and define yourself is not being a pervert. It shows that you are not willing to accept second-best when it comes to your sensual needs. The fact that you love me enough to even try makes me love you so much more. And I didn't think that was possible"

She was looking into his eyes and the shaking had stopped. But the tears kept flowing. "How can you possibly love such a perfect fuck-up like me?"

He pulled her close and put his chin on the top of her head. "Because you are perfect…you're perfect for me. I don't see it as 'fucking up'. I look at it more like challenging the mundane."

This got her to stop crying and even laugh a little. "Challenging the mundane? Where the hell did you pull that line from?"

"From my list of 'desperately trying to bring you back to me' phrases. Did it work?" He couldn't help but chuckle at his own statement.

She wrapped her arms around him. "We are such a mess. How can two people who love each other so much, make such a simple thing so complicated?"

"Everything is complicated with you, Babe. That's what makes it so much fun."

"Well, if it's alright with you, I vote for uncomplicated fun for a while." She had her smile back and the pain, once masking her eyes, was replaced with hope.

"How about starting with an uncomplicated swim in our private lagoon? I hear bathing suits are optional." He was turned-on hard at the moment and hoped the cool water would help him regain control.

"You mean skinny-dip? I've never skinny-dipped in my life." She feigned astonishment.

"You wore that bikini in Hawaii, and that was practically skinny-dipping." He had her by the hand as they walked down the steps to the beach.

"You remember that bikini? I only wore it once." It made her feel good that he mentioned their short but oh-so-romantic time on the Big Island.

"Remember it? Babe, I still have wet dreams over it." He ran towards the beach.

Ranger stripped and dove into the water first. He kept his back to Steph, so she could not see his substantial 'wood' problem. He didn't want her to feel any pressure to have sex. He wanted her to initiate the first move. He wanted her to feel comfortable. And, surprisingly for him, he wanted her to be in charge.

Steph looked around tentatively and gave in to the lure of a naked swim with the only man in her life. "What the hell," she said to herself as she stripped and walked into the gentle waves.

Ranger dove under the water and came up between her legs. He raised her high on his shoulders. She squealed in surprise and embarrassment. "Ranger, people will see!"

"There's no one here but us, Babe. And I wouldn't care if the beach was packed. I want to show you off to the world." Then he unceremoniously dumped her into the water and dove in after her.

They swam towards a small rock jetty at the edge of the lagoon. Standing in the waist-deep tropical water they embraced with newfound passion. Steph reached below the water to find his manhood. She smiled at its hardness, relieved to know that he wanted her as much as she needed him. Throwing her arms around his neck, she encircled his waist with her legs. "Please Carlos, I need you inside me now," she whispered in his ear.

She didn't have to say it twice. Ranger cupped her ass cheeks with his hands and lifted her up. Gently and slowly he lowered her onto his member. He could feel her taking him in, answering each of his thrusts with her swaying hips.

She moaned softly into his mouth as they kissed. Her breathing became more and more erratic. Thank God, she is close, Ranger thought. I don't know how much longer I can hold back.

The thought had no sooner formed in his head when Steph dug her nails into his shoulders and began to quiver in his arms. He could feel her tense and then go completely limp. "Oh my!" were only words to escape her lips.

Two more thrusts and he joined her. "Oh my" were not the words he thought or said. "Damn woman, I have missed you." He hoped his kiss would express more.

They stayed in the water embracing, until the chill of the ocean breeze made them both decide that the warmth of the bungalow might be better suited for their next

bout of passion. Picking up their clothes, they strolled naked to their tropical hide-a-way.

The next five days were filled with passion and laughter. Stephanie discovered that making love on the beach was romantic, but removing sand from certain body parts was not. They both learned that roasting marshmallows and nude bodies was not a good combination. Ranger assured her that he wouldn't have a scar. And not once did the thought of Domination enter Ranger's mind…until Steph brought it up.

"When we get back, I want to try it again," she said matter-of-factly as they were packing to leave.

"Try what, Babe?" Ranger's mind was in an entirely different place, and he thought she was referring to her failed attempt at making grilled chicken on an open fire.

"I want to be your submissive. I want you to teach me."

Ranger's hands froze. He squeezed his shaving pack so tightly that he heard the top pop off his toothpaste. "I don't think that's a good idea, Babe. I'm comfortable with what we have. Aren't you?" Damn, she's like a dog with a bone. She just won't let go! "Besides, after what you went through…and what I put you through…I would think that you would be put off on the whole idea."

"We promised to be honest with each other, right? Well to be honest, most of what I saw was pretty gross and awful. But when you rescued me…remember when you had me chained up? Once I realized that it was you and you began touching me I was really turned on. I should have been more scared but instead I found myself wishing we were somewhere else doing the very same thing."

Remember? Walking out of that room was one of the hardest things I did during that mission! "It was probably just an adrenaline dump, Babe. It's a big jump from that and liking the lifestyle." He had just begun to accept the prospect of a vanilla relationship as opposed to his D/s choices of the past. Her request left him questioning everything…again.

"Well, Claude said that no one is one hundred percent anything. That each of us has needs as individual as the persons we are. And I need to see if some of the lifestyle you lead works for me. I really want to try. Won't you help?" Her voice had degraded to that of a whiny teen, but her resolve was that of a determined woman.

Not about to ruin a perfect holiday and realizing that he wasn't going to win the argument anyway, Ranger bought some time. "We'll talk about this when we get back and settled in." This just isn't going to go away. Next time you feel like revealing the real you…just strip before a firing squad, Manoso. It will be easier and less painful.