Ch. 3
"Loki, Loki." Loki could hear the black-haired woman whispering, but he couldn't see her. It was black, there was only darkness. "Where are you?" He shouted into the void, but no one answered. Then there was a voice. "Loki, your brother is worried for you. He needs you."
Loki bristled in anger. "My brother does not need me. I will not go back to Asgard." The voice sounded amused. "But you want to. Your heart aches for it, like a moth to a flame. You need to go home."
"That is not my home!" He shouted, his hands shaking. "I was not born there! I did not draw my first breath there!" It was several minutes before the voice answered. "It is where you grew up. It is where you had friends."
Loki didn't answer. He knew that was true. "It's because of the girl, isn't it?" The voice chuckled. "You do not want to leave her." Loki clenched his hands. "So what? Is it bad that I want love? That I love someone?"
The voice let out a burst of cold laughter. "Oh, you and I both know that you, Loki Odinson, are not capable of love." Loki took a step forward, his arms stiff at his sides. "Things change."
Loki awoke with a start, clawing at the sheets. It took him a few seconds to realize where he was. Camelot. His dream was imprinted in his mind, he couldn't get it out of his head. Oh, you and I both know that you, Loki Odinson, are not capable of love.
The voice was true, he knew that. He did not deserve love. He didn't even deserve to be here. He had betrayed his brother, betrayed his family. There was a knock on the door and he sat up in bed. "Come in!" He called and Merlin entered the room, carrying a platter of food in his hands.
"I brought breakfast." He set the tray down on a table and Loki scarfed it down, not realizing how hungry he was. Merlin continued speaking, "There's another feast tonight if you want to come."
Loki finished eating and he nodded. "Sure, I'll be delighted to come." Merlin smiled and Loki did too. Merlin exited the room while Loki got dressed. He stared at his reflection in the mirror and it surprised him.
He now had dark shadows under his eyes and a wispy beard was growing on his chin. "I look different." He whispered and then he shook his head. He had other things to worry about, like how he was going to get home.
He decided to go for a walk in the woods so he pulled on his boots and slipped out of his room. The palace was quiet; Loki guessed it was about 6 a.m. He finally made it to the palace doors (taking a few wrong turns of course) and opened them into bright sunshine.
He quietly closed the doors and then made his way to the looming forest made eerie by the early morning fog. The leaves blocked the sun from reaching the forest floor and birds were chirping in the trees, searching for their breakfast.
There was a rustling to Loki's right and his left hand reached achingly down to his sword which he kept forgetting wasn't there. Morgana broke from the line of the trees, holding a horse's reins. She stopped and saw him, then froze.
He froze too, not breathing. She regained her composure and started walking towards him. His heart raced faster and his palms started getting sweaty. "Hello. Loki, is it?" Loki nodded, nervously patting his hair down.
"Of course you know me. Lady Morgana, Uther's ward." She kind of spat on the word Uther, but Loki didn't say anything. "So what brings you around here?" She gestured to the forest.
"Just walking." He inwardly cursed himself. Walking? She nodded and then there was just silence.
She clapped her hands together. "Well, I must be going. I have to get Lady to the stables."
"Lady?" He asked, confused.
She pointed to the horse and it trotted over there. She petted the horse's mane. "This is Lady. Isn't she beautiful?" Morgana was staringly lovingly at the horse.
Loki shrugged. "I don't know, I've never really liked horses." Morgana looked back at him, shocked.
"Well, we must get you on a horse. Come on." She clambered onto the horse and gestured for Loki to get on.
Loki shook his head. "I- I can't."
Morgana smirked at him, a playful glint in her eyes. "Come on, Loki. You're not scared, are you?" He stood there for a couple of minutes then finally walked over there. He put his foot in the stirrup and swung his right leg over the horse, straddling it.
"You're a natural, Loki." She laughed, while Loki tightened his legs around the horse. He didn't know what she was talking about, he felt like he was going to fall off any second. "Now put your arms around my waist and grab the reins.
"Around your waist?" Loki felt like he was going to throw up any second. He risked looking down at the ground and stifled a hurl.
"Why are you so scared?" She grabbed his arms and put them around her waist. He took a deep breath and grabbed the reins. Morgana lightly kicked Lady and Lady began to trot. A rush of adrealine went through Loki and he urged Lady to go faster.
They were galloping now, ducking under low limbs and jumping over logs. Morgana let out a whoop of delight and Loki smiled. They were going faster now and suddenly Morgana screamed, "Watch out!"
She ducked as a limb came into view. It smacked Loki on the head sending him tumbling from the horse, Morgana falling with him. He landed on the ground with Morgana on top of him, panting. Lady slowed and began to chew grass.
Morgana stared down at him, her long, black hair framing her face. Loki reached out a hand and brushed a twig from her hair then he laid his hand on her cheek. "Would it bad if I asked to kiss you?" He whispered, sending a shiver down Morgana's spine.
"You can do whatever you want." She brought her mouth to his and they kissed as the sun began to set.