The three years after the Deep Roads was a whirl wind for Hawke and her friends. She and Varric worked tirelessly to sell the artifacts they had found. Once that was done Leigh petitioned the Viscount to get her grandparent's estate back. It took time, but finally all the pieces fell into place. During those three years Leigh became closer to all of her companions. Whether it was helping Aveline with situations her guard was not quite qualified for, teaching Fenris to read, or going for walks with Merill, Leigh found a sense of contentment. None of them would ever replace Bethany, but they made it easier for her to cope with the loss. The last few months she had been running around with Isabela learning how to become a duelist. A small part of her wished she could be as free as Isabela seemed to be. Do what you want, be with who you want with no real care or fear of consequence, but Leigh could never be that cut off from people. It was not who she was and to her it seemed a little lonely. After three years Leigh could not see her life any other way then what it was now.
A soft knock at her bedroom door rousted her from her dreams. Her mother's soft voice sounded from the other side of the door. "A messenger dropped off a letter for you. It looks important." Leigh opened her door and her mother shook her head. "You look a frightful sight when you first wake up my darling. If I am to ever find you a suitor I will have to make sure they never see you in the morning."
"I spent most of night helping Anders in the clinic. I got in maybe two hours ago."
"You have been spending a lot of time down there helping him. He seems to be a nice young man, very handsome and a bit dangerous so I hear."
"He is not dangerous, just dedicated." Leandra gave her daughter an appraising look before laughing and shaking her head. "What? Why are you laughing?"
"I think I should hold off on finding you a suitor. I think you might have found one already. The only advice I can give you me dear is it will not be a easy life loving an apostate. If I was given the choice to be with you father again or marry the Comte, I would choose your father every time. Just be careful, he is a target for the Templars."
"I'm not sure if it matters anyway. He...I'm not sure if he feels the same way. I just feel more alive when I am with him, even if it is helping him patch up a refugee or sitting with him in the Hanged Man with all the others."
"He would be a fool not to feel the same, but I am bias. Have you told him how you feel?"
"Maker, no! I wouldn't know what to say."
"I am sure you could figure out something to say, but I will let you handle this yourself."
"I appreciate that, Mama. Let me see what the message is." After getting dressed Leigh headed down the stairs to her desk. It was the letter she had been waiting for. "Mama, when is the next time you will see Bethany?"
"Today, why?"
"She will be receiving a new staff and I want to know if she likes it. I did not have it enchanted since I did not know what she would want, but since I can't go visit her myself I hope it let's her know I still think of her."
"I am sure she will love it."
"I have to go pick up the other two later today."
"The other two?"
"I had two others made. One for Merill and another for Anders."
"You take such good care of everyone. You are your father's daughter." Leigh gave her mother a quick hug before heading to the cellar. It was a quick way to Darktown since it opened out right near to the clinic. Both of the doors were closed telling her that Anders was most likely sleeping. He had had a rough night of healing. With it being winter there were many people suffering from frostbite and sickness. Last night he barely was able to keep up with it all, having used up his store of potions. Leigh quietly opened the door finding the place dark. All the beds were empty save one. She could hear him tossing and turning. He had told her since becoming a Grey Warden he has not had a good night sleep. Too many nightmares about darkspawn and Archdemons he told her.
"I am going to let him sleep. He always looks so tired. I will come back later hopefully he won't be bombarded with patients." As she went to leave she bumped into a small table knocking the glass containers that were on it to the ground. The sound made Anders shoot up from his bed, the blue glow of Justice illuminated the room. Leigh barely got out way of a lightning bolt. She backflipped over one of the cots, but lost her footing on one of the bottles that survived the fall off the table. Another bolt missed her by inches, the smell of ozone burned her nose. "Anders wait, it's Leigh." He hesitated as he tried to get back his control. The blue light faded pitching the room back into darkness.
"Le...Leigh?" Gingerly she got off the floor and went to him. Her hand found his shoulder, even in the dark her awareness of her surroundings was keen. "Here let me light a lamp." The light of a small lantern cast a dim light to the room. "I...your not hurt are you?" His expression and his voice were pained.
"No, just my pride and my backside." She gave him a warm smile. He opened his mouth to say something, but her finger silenced him. "It is not your fault. I should not have come in here knowing full well you had a very long night. I was clumsy and knocked over the glass. So don't you dare try to apologize." He looked away from her, guilt on his face. Leigh raised her hands to make him look at her and noticed her one hand was bleeding badly. "Maker, how did I do that?" Anders head snapped back to face her and saw her hand. A large piece of glass was imbedded in the palm of her left hand. The cut was deep almost to bone. Strangely even now that she had noticed it there was not pain.
"Come over here near the light so I can get this fixed up. Does it hurt?"
"No, I did not even know I had hurt myself." Anders went to work cleaning the wound out before sending healing magic into the wound. The magic felt warm as it flashed over her skin. His touch was light, passing over her skin as the skin rewove itself whole. "I'm sorry I startled you. It was my fault." He just looked at her and shook his head.
"There all better." His hand lingered on hers, his eyes silently pleaded for forgiveness. Again she gave him a smile that could melt all the snow on the Frostback Mountains. She took his hand and brought it up to her lips, kissing it before she let it go. Both of them blushed.
"I came down here to see what you needed since I am heading to the potion maker near the Gallows. I know we used most of your store up last night. I did not want you to have a run like you did and be without."
"Are you sure you are a human?" A questioning look crossed her face. "I am just asking because I have only ever met two people like you. Your compassion knows no bounds."
"I can not sit by while my fellow countrymen suffer, not if I can help. As my mother said I am my father's daughter. We did not want for much when I was growing up, but even when we had hard times my father always tried to help people worse off than ourselves."
"I am sorry I will never know him." A shadow of sorrow shown on her face. Anders wanted to kick himself, first off for the attack and secondly for bringing up something the caused her pain. "Well, now that I am awake I can go with you to get the supplies. That is if you want me too." He gave her a look that made her knees weak.
"Of course, I always welcome company, but I ask for one condition."
"That being?" He crossed his arms over his chest readying himself for another fight about why they could not be together.
"You come back to my home and get a good meal in you before you come back here." His arms fell and he relaxed, thanking the Maker for small favors. He did not want to fight with her, not after Justice almost killed her.
"If that is what you wish then yes I will. Be warned I can eat more than my fair share."
"Good, you are getting too thin. It will be nice to see you eat for once. Let us be off then, I would leave you staff behind if I were you. There are a lot more Templars stationed outside the Gallows now. I don't want to give them any cause to try to take you. It would kill me if the Templars lock you up or worse."
"As you wish." He did not like leaving his staff behind, but Leigh was right it would be too dangerous. Knowing her she would try to defend him and get herself hurt or worse killed. His stomach turned even thinking about it. If he died for the cause he has been fighting for so be it, but he made a silent vow that he would burn the world to keep her safe. Even if that meant his death, for her he would die and not think twice about it.
The walk to the Gallows was uneventful yet freezing The crisp winter air chilled Leigh down to the bone. She cursed herself for not wearing a thicker undertunic. She rubbed her arms in an attempt to warm them up. "Maker, I hate the winter. I can never get warm." She heard Anders give a low chuckle before wrapping his arm around her. He was warm despite the icy wind. Leigh pressed herself closer to him not caring if it was improper to do so.
"I will say the winters here are worse than the ones in Ferelden."
"When I was younger my mother could not get me back into the house when it snowed, now all I want to do is sit by the fire snuggled next to Tovis."
"Tovis?" She saw the jealous look on his face and started to giggle.
"Tovis is my Mabari hound. So wipe that look off your face." "What are you doing Anders? She is a distraction you do not need. Our cause suffers while you pine after her."
"Shut up! My private life is none of your business. If I want to pursue her then I will."
"Do you think she will do what needs to be done? Will she be willing to do whatever it takes even if it means the lives of innocents?"
"Are you arguing with him again?" Her voice snapped him out of his war with Justice.
"Is it that obvious?" Leigh nodded and gave his hand a squeeze. "Sorry, he thinks been out here with out my staff is dangerous. He does not approve." "That is not what I said!"
"Well I will protect you, so tell him you will be fine. I will not let the big bad Templars get you. Speaking of Templars they are out in force." The Gallow's square was filled with Templars some coming on duty and some coming off of it.
"Let's not draw too much attention to ourselves shall we."
My thoughts exactly...shit! Will I never be rid of him?" The anger in her voice surprised him. He followed her line of sight to find out who she was talking about. The Templar had his back to them so Anders could not see his face. "You were in the Circle in Ferelden right?"
"Yes, why do I have a bad feeling about this."
"He was a Templar there, I don't want him to get the chance to recognize you. Let's try to go around this way."
"Why do you hate him so much?"
"Other than he took my sister from me, I...I use to love him." Her voice dropped to a whisper. He could hear her grind her teeth. If looks could kill the Templar would have keeled over by this point from both of their looks.
"So he is the Templar you told me about? Do you want me to shoot lightning at him?" Despite the anger coursing through her veins she laughed at him.
"No, Maker you will have them all descend on you like vultures. I appreciate it though. It is times like these I miss Carver more than ever. Even though he was younger than me he played the protective brother, especially after my father passed."
"Brothers do that, at least from what I have been told. The faster we get the potions the faster we can get out of here. Damn, here comes trouble." Leigh saw a Templar coming their way. She blow out a sigh of relief when she saw it was Ser Thrask.
"Ser Thrask, it is nice to see you again."
"And you too Serah Hawke. Your sister was very happy with her new staff. The other things you ordered are waiting for you at your estate."
"Thank you, I am glad you could help me with this."
"It was my pleasure after all the help you have given me. You have done this city a great service. I must to go to my post before the Knight Captian see us talking. Good day Serah."
"Good Day Ser Thrask." She watched Thrask walk away then turned to Anders. "I wish all the Templars were like him maybe then the world would be a better place."
"For a Templar he is not half bad, but he is still a Templar. So what did you order that you had to get his help to do it?
"The staff for my sister and a few odds and ends that are hard to come by, nothing important."
"Why do I have the feeling you are being sneaky?" Leigh just gave him a disarming smile which made his stomach flip. He had noticed that she did not smile at anyone else like that, just him. "Ah, it looks like Solivitus is at his stall we should get what we need and get out of here. This place is making me jumpy."
"Your right. Get whatever you need for the clinic, my treat."
"You are too good to me you know that right?" She just laughed and pushed him toward the vender. Solivitus greeted them both, then went on to show his wares. Many of the potions Anders needed cost much more than he himself would ever be able to pay. Leigh seemed unfazed by the price as the order grew. "Leigh are you sure you can afford all this?"
"I am sure, you need them, as do the people you help. It is my way of giving back to my countrymen who have not had the luck I have these last few years. I have no skill for healing or politics, but I can do this for them and for you. So please get what you need, I don't care how much it costs if it helps." He just stared at her in appreciation. "I like seeing you smile, you don't do it near enough."
"I very few things to smile about, but you my dear lady are one o thhose things." A flush of color blessed her cheeks. Her eyes even seemed brighter as she stared into his eyes. His resolve was crumbling and he knew it. How much more could he take before he gave into his want of her? He had only met one other person like her in his life and she had driven him just as crazy, but he had to leave her behind to save her from the Templars. "It looks like we have all we need for now, shall we." Anders waved his arm in front of him and bowed slightly before giving her his arm. To the outside world they would have looked like a young couple out for a stroll, though the Gallows was not the most romantic place for a walk. Neither of them noticed Cullen had spotted Leigh and was now heading in their direction.
"Leigh?" What brings you he..." Cullen was struck speechless. He knew the man who stood in front of him. Anders was thinner and older than he remembered, but he knew it was him. A cold feeling of dread hit him. Before he left Ferelden Cullen had heard rumors about the runaway mage. Most were not pleasant and now to see him arm in arm with Leigh, Cullen was not pleased to say the least.
"Is there something you need Knight Captain? I have much to do and have no time to dally." Leigh kept her voice steady, but her eyes burned with annoyance. She felt Anders grip on her hand tighten. Both men stared at each other waiting for the other to make a move. "Cullen, please I do not have all day. What do you want?"
"Leigh, I...I need you to come with me so we can speak in private."
"Whatever you have to say can be said in front of my companion. We hide nothing from each other."
"He is an apostate." A bitter laugh left her mouth.
"My, my do all you Templars see apostates lurching in the shadows. My friend here is no apostate, now if you have nothing else of intelligence to say then we will be on our way." Leigh turned on heals and went to walk away, but Cullen grasped her arm. "Let go Cullen!"
"He is a monster. Has he told you why he left the Wardens? Did he tell you what he did to Rolan?" She heard Anders breath hitch, and though his face remained placid his eyes shown fear.
"I have known him for three years Cullen, He is no monster." "Oh but I am Leigh. You did not see what I did. Maker, if you knew..." "Now let go of me or so help me Cullen I will knock you flat on your arse."
"You would side with a malificar, a murder?" Faster than either man could see Leigh's hand made contact with Cullen's cheek. The sound of the slap caught some of the other Templar attention, bringing them running to aide their captain.
"How dare you! I side with a friend, one that has never given me a reason to doubt him. You on the other hand Cullen have all but torn my heart from my chest on more than one occasion. I learned from you to never, ever trust a Templar. You call him a murderer, well so am I Cullen and so are you." The other Templars surrounded them. Anders was desperately fighting to stay in control of Justice. Letting loose would be a mistake, but he would be damned if he would let them lay a finger on Leigh.
"Leigh, please be reasonable, I know you were raised by a mage, but he will get you killed. I won't let that happen, even if you hate me forever I will not let him hurt you." Leigh caught the blue flash in Anders' eyes. She prayed the Templars hadn't, so far it looks like they haven't. His body was shaking against her's and the grip on her arm got tighter, almost painful. "Step away from him, Leigh." Cullen's voice was soft and pleading. If she did not think of something soon she would lose him to the Templars. She was not willing to let that happen.
"No, you have to go through me to get to him Cullen. I don't think the Viscount will be very happy if you kill a noble. Do you?" The death grip on her arm was becoming unbearable. The fine blue glowing lines were starting to appear. She put her hand on the side of Anders' face hoping he was not to far gone. She leaned into him whispering in his ear. "Please, don't do this here. I won't let them take you away again I promise. You have to trust me." Anders turned his face to look her in the eye, pleading her to stop him. Leigh pulled his head closer to her and kissed him sweetly. The blue glow stopped as fast as it had come. She heard Cullen growl, but ignored him. Once she knew he was under control again she turned to Cullen, who looked like she had just ripped his heart out. "My friend and I are leaving. You have no proof of what he may or may not be, so you might be making a mistake one that will cost you dearly. Call off your knights." Cullen waved the knights off. "Thank you, come love we have places to be." She pulled Anders away from the square and the Templars. Neither of them talked til they got back to her estate. When they entered to estate Leigh was revealed to find her mother was out and would not be back for a while. "Bohdan please bring us some fruit and wine. We will be in the study."
"Yes, messere." She was grateful that the dwarf did not question the look on her face. She could only guess from the range of emotions that were running through her how they played on her face. Anders had seemed to calm down the further they got away from the Gallows. He could read the look on her face as one of relief and embarrassment. Leigh went to work on the fire in the study making sure it would not die. Anders sat down in one comfy high back chairs and just watched her.
"He still loves you." Leigh sat across from Anders in her study and let out a sigh. "That kiss you gave me stunned him."
"I did not know what else to do without screaming at Justice, which would have made them more suspicious."
"Well it got my attention." The smirk on his face told her he was not upset with her for the kiss. "So what is the story behind you and the Knight Captain?" Leigh rubbed her fingers on the bridge of her nose trying to think on how to talk about Cullen.
"He was posted in Lothering for a time before being sent to the Circle. Carver was his friend and introduced us. It wasn't love at first sight or anything like that, but he was kind and did not have the same view most Templars have about mages. There is five years between us and I was young, too young to get involved with anyone, but I did. Maker, what a fool I was."
"I doubt you were a fool. Love is a gift or so I have been told. I have never been in love." He was lying, but she did not need to know that. "So you fell for him, how did he break your heart?"
"I guess it is only fair me telling you this because you were honest about Justice. My father was dying for a blood infection, how he got it I would much rather not get into right now. He was not long for this world and the Templars came. I was thankful Bethany was not home at the time. Their leader spouted off the rules of the Chantry to us trying to make us give my father over to them. Carver and I refused, my poor mother was deep in grief and could only cry. The Templars grabbed us so the leader could go get my father. He was greeted with a man who was wasting away and could not even lift his own head. Cullen was with that group of Templars. I never told him about my family. I never truly trusted him. When the leader come out of my father's room he said and I quote "I can put him out of his misery for you then take his body so you don't have to deal with it. Apostates do not get proper funerals they are not worthy of them." I wanted to rip the man apart for talking about my father as if he were a lame horse or some pathetic creature not worthy of mercy and peace. Carver bless his soul, ran them off somehow I was too upset to hear what he said. My father went to the Maker two days later. We gave him a proper funeral and after the pyre was in embers Cullen came to see me. I screamed at him and even went as far as throwing my dagger at him. I missed, but he did not try to come near me again. I gave him everything I had and I felt he had betrayed me."
"He was lucky you missed, I have seen you throw those things you never miss."
"I was upset and it was seven years ago I was not as seasoned as I am now. So that is the story. Part of me will always care about him that is what stopped me from killing him the night he took my sister. Also the fact you and Merill would be without someone to watch over them if I went to prison." She smiled and shook her head. "I don't have any right to ask you this, but what was the thing about the man Rolen?" Anders grimaced as the memory of what he did played in his head again. "You know what, nevermind. I don't need to know. I trust you Anders that is all that matters."
"You shouldn't trust me. He was right I could hurt you or worse. You deserve better." Leigh closed the distance between them and cupped his chin forcefully making him look her in the eyes.
"We have been through this. I do not fear you or Justice. If I thought for a second you were not a good person I would have left you behind three years ago. I care about you, out of all of my friends I feel closer to you. Why do you keep pushing me away?"
"I do it to protect you. It would kill me to see you get hurt because of me." Leigh knelt in front of him still holding his chin and kissed him fiercely.
"I don't need to be protected from you." Before he could answer Bohdan came in with the refreshments. "Thank you Bohdan. Where are the packages that were delivered today?"
"They are by your desk Serah."
"I will be right back." Anders watched her leave the room. "You are acting like a love sick adolescent." "I know, I know, just shut up Justice." "You are faltering from our mission." "I know full well what we are fighting for. She has just as much stake in this as I do. Leigh is the one bright point is this damned city. I will not lose her!" "I have something for you. I hope you like it." He is eyes fell on the cloth wrapped gift. From the look of it he knew what it was, but was not prepared for what he saw when he unwrapped it. The staff was made of a rich cherry wood with a onyx core. It was a almost exact replica of the one he had now style wise, but this one was well made.
"Where did you get this?"
"I had it made for you, it is not enchanted since I did not know what you would want, but Sandel can handle that for you. Do you like it?"
"It is the most thoughtful thing anyone has done for me in a long time. Thank you." The smile that adorned his face was worth the world to her. "She got me a gift. Maker, doesn't this woman know I can only resist so much before I break." "Is this what Thrask helped you with?"
"Yes, he has been very helpful. I wanted to do something to thank you for all the help you have given me these past three years. When ever you need me I will be there for anything. I hope you know that." "You don't know what you are saying Leigh, but I am a selfish man I can't stay away from you. Nor do I want to try anymore. Andraste forgive me, I love her."