Leigh remained lying on the floor of Arianni's home. She felt disoriented from being in the Fade. Her limbs felt like lead and her stomach was threatening to revolt against her. She cursed herself for trying to sit up too quickly when she woke. Marethari placed her hands on the sides of Leigh's neck to try to ease the discomfort she was feeling. It subsided a little, but she dared not move. Leigh opened her eyes again and found Fenris kneeling next to her. His face was a mask of worry and annoyance. He looked her over like he was waiting for her to turn into an abomination. She tried to give him a reassuring smile, but even the muscles in her face protested any type of movement. She took her eyes of the elf and sought out her other companions. Sebastian was on the floor praying, at least that is what it looked like. Varric was pacing in front of Arianni's kitchen table muttering to himself. Lastly she laid eyes on Anders who was trying to get over his own bout of disorientation from coming back from the Fade. His face looked pale and sweaty. His body was shaking, but she could not tell if it was from the Fade or anger.

"Is she possessed?" She recognized the gravelly voice of Fenris. Leigh wanted to answer him, but another lurch in her stomach made her keep her lips shut.

"I do not know. This sickness could be cause by the fact she is not a mage. The Beyond is not a place to be tread lightly."

"Well what about him? Anders looks sick too, but not as bad as she does."

"The Fade is disorienting Fenris. I have avoided it for years. To go back and have to jump right into a fight makes it worse. Leigh has never been to the Fade so it will take her longer to get over feeling. If you give me a few more minutes I can test to see if she has any extra baggage." Anders voice sounded weary, but the side effects of the Fade were wearing off. He could at least stand. "Maker, I haven't felt this bad since I lost the drinking contest with Oghren."

"Oh, if you only knew. Pash can you do anything to make this feeling go away?" "Not without drawing the attention of the Keeper or Anders. You will have to suffer through for now. It will pass. You haven't been in the Fade since your father died seven years ago. I am surprised you have what is the phrase, oh yes, kept down your lunch." "Please don't remind me I should just throw up and get it over with, but I am not doing that in front of these men." "I think they will understand." "I would rather not find out." Her stomach lurched again and this time she knew there was no stopping it. With all the strength she had she scrabbled to her feet and ran for the door. She made it outside before spewing all the contents of her stomach on the ground in front of Arianni's home. Gentle hands rubbed her back as another wave of retching hit her.

"I would say this is what you get for worrying me, but I know you will only kick my ass later." Leigh wiped her mouth and tried to stand up to face Anders. Her legs felt like she had no bones in them. She stumbled into Anders nearly knocking them both over. "Slow movements Leigh. If you try to push through this it will only make it worse." She groaned and let him lead her back into the house.

"So mage is she possessed?"

"No, it is as the Keeper said she is suffering from being in the Fade. I want to get her back to the clinic and watch her just to make sure she is alright. Will one of you gentlemen be willing to carry her there?"

"I will." Sebastian stepped forward and mentally Leigh smacked herself.

"Great so I can throw up all over you nice white armor. I can walk on my own thank you very much. I will just need someone to keep me from falling over."

"It is better you don't. Don't be stubborn , that is what got you into this mess in the first place. Go ahead and pick her up." Anders nodded at Sebastian and Leigh could only grumble as she was lifted off the floor. She closed her eyes and tried not to think about the swaying motion of his walking. She started to hum to herself to keep her mind off of her stomach.

"What are you humming Hawke?" She opened her eyes and looked into Sebastian's impossibly blue eyes. She gave words to the melody she was humming and a smile spread over the Chantry brother's face. "I did not know you knew the Canticle of Benediction?"

"I use to be a good little Andrastian. Some things never leave you. My sister and I use to sing the Chant together when we were both children. Our favorite was "Here lies the abyss, the well of all souls. From these emerald waters doth life spring anew. Come to me, child, and I shall embrace you. In my arms lies Eternity." Leigh's expression turned sad

"Are you alright Hawke?"

"I'm fine just thinking about my father. Since he was an apostate we could not have the Reverend Mother preside over his funeral. I had to be the one to read the scripture."

"I am sorry Hawke." The look of pity in his eyes was genuine and she settled her head back onto his shoulder. Her nausea was passing and her limbs didn't feel quite so heavy. She wanted to tell them she could walk on her own power, but she held her tongue. She knew they were nearing Darktown when the smell hit her. She hated the fact that her countrymen were shoved down here like rats. If it wasn't for Anders a lot of them would have died years ago.

"Let me set up a cot for her and find some clean linens." Anders disappeared into one of the back rooms of the clinic and came back with a arm full of clean, but dingy looking sheets. Sebastian lowered her down after the cot was set up. She gave his hand a squeeze.

"Thank you Sebastian."

"Your quite welcome Hawke. I am glad you came back from the Fade safely. It is not a place mortals should tread. It is the realm of the Maker we have already poisoned it once with our sin."

"Well I guess then mages are his chosen because they can go to the Fade and stay awake." The royal archer gave her a confused look, but she caught sight of Anders over Sebastian's shoulder and he had a smirk on his face.

"I will take my leave of you now. Feel better and you know where I am if you need me." With Sebastian gone it left Leigh with Fenris, Varric and Anders to deal with.

"How ya feeling Hawke?"

"Like my head was trampled by a ogre, but otherwise not bad." Varric barked out a laugh and slapped his hand on her shoulder.

"That proves you aren't possessed. No one other than you would make that joke." He leaned in and whispered in her ear. "I am going to take Fenris home to give you two a chance to talk. You should have seen the look on Blondie's face when he came into that house."

"Thank you Varric," She sat up and gave Fenris an apologetic look. "thank you too Fenris."

"Your welcome and Hawke I am glad you are alright." She waited patiently for Anders to start yelling at her, when he remained quiet she began to worry he was so angry with her that he was giving her the silent treatment. She swung her legs over the cot and stared at his back. His shoulders were shaking a little. Leigh couldn't take the silence anymore and decided to break it.

"Anders? I know your mad, but I had to. I couldn't let that poor boy be taken over by demons."

"You should have come to me for help instead of trying to do it alone. Maker's breath Leigh, you have no idea what could have happened to you. We could have lost you."

"But you didn't, I am still here and as far as I know demon free." Anders frowned at her and she winced.

"This is no laughing matter dammit. Do you know what you put us through? Fenris was upset enough to come get me. That man hates me, but he was so scared of losing you he put that aside."

"I...your right. I just could not let Feynriel be destroyed by those bastards. He did not ask to be born with powers. It is not his fault, just like it isn't your fault, or Bethany's, or my father's. Instead of being helped he would have been feared for the powers he had in the Fade."

"Why?"

"The Keeper called him a Somniari..."

"A dreamer? No wonder the demons wanted him. Mages like him are rare. Most don't survive their minds are too fragile."

"So the Keeper told me. Now do you see why I had to do this?"

"No, but that boy is very lucky and so are you. Justice told me you handled yourself well. You did not listen to the demons' offers, but you still should not have done it."

"We will have to agree to disagree on that. I'm sorry I worried you and everyone else." His amber colored eyes turned soft as he cupped her face. She could feel a spark of magic in his touch. Her eyes half closed and she let out a sigh of relief. The pounding in her head was gone. "Maker, that feels so much better."

"I bet it does. Now I want you chew on these mint leaves to settle your stomach, then I want you to rest for a bit where I can watch you. You get in too much trouble left to your own devises."

"Yes father." She gave him a crooked smile which he returned. "At least my mother is not expecting me back til after sundown." She nibbled on the leaves and she found the juices did settle her stomach, they also made the bad taste in her mouth go away.

"I will wake you well before then I promise. I don't want you mother coming down here wagging her finger at me." Leigh gave a short laugh before letting her body ease back down on the cot. She felt safe having him watch over her while she slept.

After sleeping for a few hours Leigh woke up to find herself alone. Anders was at his desk when she drifted off to sleep, but now he was nowhere to be found. Her heart tripped a few beats as she fastened her daggers back to her side. She came around the privacy curtain and found him kneeling in front of what looked like a bowl.

"What are you doing?" Anders stood up dusting his knees off with a sheepish look on his face.

"It is silly, but I was putting out milk to see if I could entice a cat to come visit. I miss having one around, but I think the refugees have scared them off. Or maybe eaten them."

"Merrill told me there was a litter of kittens down near the merchants in Lowtown. Maybe you could take one of them."

"I wonder if there is an orange tabby." His eyes became thoughtful for a moment then he shook his head. "You know I have been meaning to thank you. You have stuck your neck out for the mages here and you didn't have to."

"They deserve to be free. It would kill me to see the Templars take you away. I grew up watching my father having to look over his shoulder all the time and it just got worse when Bethany's powers started to show. I see what it has done to you. Your tired all the time because I know you don't sleep soundly for fear they will come for you in the night."

"I wished more people believe like you do that we should be free." Leigh placed her hand on his arm and looked up into his eyes. The closeness of her made his heart start to race like a scared horse. She smelled like lilac and sandalwood. "You know you are driving me mad right?"

"What?"

"I have tried very hard to keep you at arms length. You deserve a normal life, not hunted and hated like you would be with me. I want better for you than what I can give you."

"I have never had a normal life. If I did finally get to have a normal life I would go crazy. It is my choice and I choose to love you Anders." His eyes went wide at her confession of love. He had never heard anyone other than his mother and his Dove tell him they loved him. None that he thought meant it anyway. Love was something taboo in the Circle.

"You love me?"

"Yes, I do. I do not go into this blindly. I know what a life on the run means and I don't care, what I do care about is you. It has been a long time since anyone has stirred up these kind of feelings in me. I was young when I was with Cullen and I look back now seeing that it was more a physical thing than emotional. With what I feel for you it is so much more than just wanting to take you to bed. I want a life with you."

"You know what I am, you have seen what I can do if cornered. I don't want you to wake up one day and regret being with me."

"Well we would have to start before that could happen." She gave him a seductive smile and the last ounce of his resolve was gone. Anders rushed at her planting fevered kisses on her lips. At first Leigh was stiff with surprise at his advances. All coherent thought was gone as desire took hold. They broke apart to breathe, he cupped her cheek and rested his forehead against hers.

"This will be a disaster, but I can't live without it. I can't live without you. If your door is open tonight I will come to you. If it is not I will know you finally heeded my warnings and let me go. You better go home for now before you mother comes looking for you."

"I will be waiting." Leigh kissed his cheek before walking out of the clinic. Her mind raced as she ran to get home. She felt like a love sick teenager, but she didn't care. The feelings she had for him were much more than just a simple roll in the hay. She realized she had nothing to wear other than her old linen shirt and a pair of patched trousers to sleep in. Not exactly the sexiest thing for a man to see a woman in. "Balls, where the hell do I buy a nightgown at this time of the day?" She could ask her mother, but then questions would be asked and she was not ready for that. Aveline did not look like the type that would know either. That left Isabela. Inside Leigh groaned she was not keen on talking about this, especially with Isabela. She changed her course and headed for Lowtown to find her fellow rogue. She hoped that Isabela would not pry too much, she did not want to have her euphoric mood killed by anything.

Anders went to the Blooming Rose to get himself cleaned up. It was the only place he knew of that would not ask questions about why he wanted to take a thorough bath. After the workers filled the tub with steaming water they left him alone. He eased himself into the tub and let out a content sigh. He had forgotten how good a hot bath felt. After scrubbing himself clean and drying off he looked at himself in the mirror. He had changed so much in the past four years. The man he had been was gone and the person in his place was someone he never thought he would be. He wondered what Ashlyn would say if she saw him like this or his other Warden friends. Anders continued to look at his reflection and let out a exasperated sigh.

"What the hell does she see in me?" "I still do not understand why mortals act this way around the opposite sex." "Act like what?" "Like blithering fools." "Thanks Justice, so now I am a blithering fool? Then why in the name of the Maker did you decide to join with me then?" Justice was silent for a moment, but when he answered Anders heard a hint of sorrow in his voice. It was something he had never heard from him before. "If there was a way for me to give you back your life as it was before I would. I have found that I have become as much a prison for you as the Circle was. You have emotions running through you I have no names for and have never felt before, they are disquieting." "I am sorry my friend. This is not how I saw this playing out when I offered to be host. It is my fault that you have been corrupted." "I thought I was stronger than your anger, it is as much my fault. My companion in the Fade would have been a better at this than me. She had helped many mages through out time. I was a fool to think I could ever do what she did." "Your companion? You mean another fade spirit?" "Yes, a spirit of Compassion. We normally travel alone in the Fade. Sometimes like spirits will travel together, but she stayed with me. Her constant desire to to help people use to confuse me. I use to think your kind was beneath us and not worth her time, but she never faltered. She was the reason you found me in the Fade helping the people the Baroness held hostage." "Why didn't we see her there with you?" "The despair of those who were trapped hurt her. If she lingered to long she would lose herself to that feeling, it could kill her. She found another charge who needed her more, but she bid me to stay and help. Once the Baroness was defeated I was to find her, but as you know I was trapped in your world." "You love her, don't you?" "I did not know what love is til I tasted Kristoff's memories and now yours. I was devoted to her, call it what you will." Silence stretched out between them. Neither knowing what to tell the other. Justice was the first to break the quiet. "Hawke is waiting for you. I will sleep to give you privacy. I still find her a distraction, but she proved herself in the Fade. She is a worthy companion." "Thank you Justice, this is important to me. She is important. I love her." "I know."

Leigh tried not to fidget as Isabela was putting makeup on her. The pirate had been ribbing her for past hour about her coming rendezvous with their healer. Leigh took it in stride only because she needed Isabela's help. It had been a very long time since she had to primp herself for a night with a man. Deep down she was grateful for the help. Isabela knew exactly where to go to get a sexy, but not outlandish nightgown.

"Stop fidgeting Hawke. I am almost done."

"If you made me look like one of those girls from the Blooming Rose, so help me Isabela I will scream."

"Ye of little faith. I know how to make you look pleasing to a man. I will admit you don't need much to make you irresistible to anyone. Anders would be a total idiot not to be attracted to you, that or he likes men." Leigh opened her eyes and glared at the her Rivani friend. "Don't give me that look. He only has eyes for you. Believe me I have seen women try to catch his eye, but he wants you."

"Were you one of those women?"

"I have to admit yes I was. He shot me down faster than Varric shooting off Bianca at some thugs. I was a little put off til I saw him staring at you. I knew then he wanted you and I backed off."

"He really stares at me when I am not looking?" Isabela snorted a laugh at her friend.

"You call yourself a rogue? I swear you are oblivious. Now go look at yourself in the looking glass and tell me what you think." Leigh went to her mirror and gasped. She was wearing the gown and it hugged every curve on her body. The silver color of it matched her eyes and went well with her pale skin. Isabela gave her a little bit of color in her cheeks and a smoky look to her eyes. Her lips looked plump with the hint of mauve color. Leigh's hair framed her face in soft waves that cascaded down to her shoulder blades. She looked beautiful.

"Isabela, you do good work. Maker, I don't think I have ever looked like this. Thank you so much."

"Your very welcome. Now Hawke your not still a virgin are you?" Leigh let out a snort and rolled her eyes.

"I have been with a man before. So no worries about giving me the talk. I do appreciate it though."

"Good. Well I will leave you to enjoy your night. Don't do anything I wouldn't do." Isabela gave her a wink and left. Now there was nothing to do but wait til Anders arrived. She prayed he would show up soon. She felt like she was going to burst into flames if she waited too much longer. She busied herself with pacing in front of her fireplace, it was all she could do while she waited for the man she loves to show himself.