Leonard and Penny

At 11:00pm, the phone started ringing. Leonard reached over for it. "Hello? Oh, hi, Mom. Yeah, Penny's here. Hold on."

"Hello. What time did you say you were getting me from the airport?" Beverley's dulcet tones emanated from the phone.

"About 9AM." Leonard nonchalantly answered to Penny's horror.

"Nine?!"

"Nine o'clock? Or before nine, or after nine? I wish you would be more direct when you say things, dear. It's very confusing."

"Sorry. Half past nine."

"Wonderful. I have the gift themes with me, you'll be glad to know."

"Great." Leonard said, weakly, wondering what Penny's reaction would be when she found out that she would have an essay to do for her Christmas present.

"It is, isn't it? Well, I'd better go. Goodnight."

"Have a nice flight." Penny called.

"I can't control that. Why do you insist on saying things like this?"

"Goodnight, Mother." Leonard mumbled. He pressed the 'End Call' button and relaxed.

"Nine?!" Penny asked again, incredulously.

"Just this once during the holiday, OK? I promise."

He gave her such big puppy-eyes that she was defeated. "Uhh, fine! But I'm holding you to that."

"Fair enough."

She snuggled up to him and sighed contentedly."It's so nice having you all to myself."

"It's nice having you, too."

"Hmm." She smiled up at him and stretching her neck, covered his lips with her own. "Why don't we go to bed?"

"Yeah, it's getting kinda late and we have to be up early...you weren't thinking of sleeping, were you?"

"No, I was not. Hey, I've got an idea."

"What?"

"Let's sleep in Sheldon's bed!"

"Ohh, you are a really bad girl!"

Giggling, Penny took his hand and led him to the absent doctor's bedroom. This was going to rock.

Sheldon and Amy

"There is a short walk to the house, Amy." Sheldon warned.

"How short?"

"Half a mile."

"That's alright."

The further they walked, the more amazed Amy became. Sheldon saw her slightly parted lips and her wide eyes and felt slightly worried. "What is it?"

"It's literally a winter wonderland."

It was. There was fine frost covering the fields, sharp, glittering icicles hung from trees and thousands of miles above them, the full moon shone down, surrounded by millions of bright stars. Amy had never seen anything quite like it. It took her breath away.

"It is rather nice." Sheldon agreed.

"I envy you, growing up here."

"You're a fool to. It was hell. Purgatory at best."

"I take it you wouldn't want to live here again?"

"Never. You know how it was. I was alone here. There was no one who accepted me for believing in science more than God."

"I know." Amy replied, her heart aching to see how sad Sheldon's eyes had gone.

"The only reason that we're here now is to see Meemaw."

"Do you think your grandmother will like me?"

"Meemaw likes everyone." Sheldon seemed happy again. "Ahh, my two favourite women, spending Christmas together."

"What?" Amy hadn't really been listening.

"You and Meemaw. My two favourite women. Well, you're both women I actually speak to."

"I'm glad to know you rank me so highly."

"Of course I do. You're my girlfriend. And you're a decent scientist."

"I know."

"Ah, we're nearly there! See that smoke? That's the bonfire. We're having fireworks, I see."

"You have fireworks? Wow."

"Hmm. We also have hour-long prayers, readings from our favourite Bible passages and the men engage in drinking contests. Amy, if you would loudly forbid me from drinking so that I may retain my ego this year, that would be wonderful."

"But you don't drink."

"But, they do. Everytime I say 'no', they mock me. They won't mock me if you forbid me. "

"I see."

Sheldon stood outside the door of his childhood home. As though steeling himself, he raised his gloved hand and began knocking the door.

Howard, Bernadette and Raj

It was bedlam in Barbara's house. The older Rostenkowskis looked as though they were worried for everyone's sanity. Joy didn't look at all happy. There were little cousins darting everywhere, women loudly screeching at each other and the men seemed to be having insult competitions. Joey Rostenkowski seemed very happy about it.

"This is like that party we had when Bernie was at college!" He shouted to Howard. "Mom and Dad were out, so I invited a bunch of buddies over. It was awesome!"

At that point one of the ladies noticed that they had newcomers and promptly (and shrilly) announced, "THEY'RE HEEEEEEEERE!"

They were attacked by what seemed like 9,000,000 people. There was probably around 50 adults and around 15 children (not including the Rostenkowski grandchildren), but there was so much noise that it seemed like more.

Howard had a hold of Bernadette's hand and expertly got her away from the array of people who were headed their way.

"Whoa!" Bernadette laughed. "Your family sure is friendly."

"Oh, they're crazy. Come on, there's someone I want you to meet."

He led her upstairs and took her to a room. He lightly knocked on the door. "Grandpa? It's Howard. I brought someone to see you."

"Is it a really hot woman?"

"Yep."

"Bring her in."

Howard smiled and opened the door for her. She blinked, surprised by the darkness. Behind her, she heard Howard sigh.

"It's a safeplace. You don't need to be in the dark."

The light clicked on. In it's glow, she spotted an elderly man. He was frail, balding, but didn't really look that old. He tutted at his grandson.

"If we get bombed, I'm blaming you."

"We won't. They won't find us here."

"Hmm. Alright. Who's this?"

"This is my wife, Bernadette."

"That's a sweet name. Are you pregnant yet?"

"No."

"Ah, well. There's time, I guess. "

"Yeah."

"So, you got a sister?" the older man asked Bernadette.

"Yeah, but they're all married."

"Aw, dammit." He opened his mouth to talk to her again, but was interrupted.

"HOWARD, BERNADETTE, COME DOWN HERE TO SAY HI TO EVERYONE!"

"Dammit, Beulah." Grandpa muttered. Moving past his grandson and granddaughter-in-law, he roared, "I'M TALKING TO THEM! WAIT YOUR TURN!"

They stayed chatting to him for quite some time. Howard had been right, Grandpa was awesome. He told them story after story and dirty joke after dirty joke that the time flew and before they knew it, an hour and a half had gone by.

"We've been here, " Howard announced. "For one minute of every year of your age."

"You've been here a little longer than 20 minutes, son."

"I know. We've been here 92 minutes. That's what I was saying."

"That's really rude." Howard's grandfather scolded. "I don't know where you get it from."

Bernadette tried not to laugh. She would have liked to have spent longer with her grandfather-in-law, but she knew that her parents wouldn't like it. Howard's mother certainly wouldn't.

"See you later, Grandpa."

"Bye, sir." Bernadette waved. She grinned at her husband. "I love your grandpa!"

"He's awesome, isn't he?"

"Yeah! Hey, is he gonna eat with us?"

"Oh, yeah. Every Hanukkah, he sits with us and makes as many people choke due to laughing so hard, that he can. Then he gets drunk and sings these really rude songs."

"This is going to be eight days of laughing, isn't it?"

So, Howard's grandpa got a bad knock to the head and thinks it's still WWII. He's got REALLY bad Amnesia. He got it around the time it ended. So, I think that explains who 'they' are. Also, AARRGGHH! I don't know what to do at first, which is why Leonard and Penny have zilch! Sorry about that!

Love from Shania. xx