hmm interesting and horrifying.. i can see the truth when no one else can... i can see the truth of the universe, i know what our fate is, i know what our meaning is, i know the truth of the afterlife... i've seen it and it is to be slain yet again in the stomach acid of Heaven and Hell. Heaven likes it meat raw, soft and fatty. Hell likes it crunchy, spicy, burnt, and a little bit mutilated.
Illidan Stormrage, POV.
I felt only minor discomfort at the by now more or less usual sensation of traveling through portals, the same couldn't be said however for Sylvanas. When we showed up on the other side, she dropped down onto her knees and threw up, whatever it was that she'd eaten for breakfast and I held her hair back for her, before any of the regurgitated food could stain her beautiful silver locks.
When she was finished she wiped her mouth with one pale gray tinted hand and did her best to swallow. "Good god, what in the hell was that!"
She demanded, hoarsely. "That, was teleportation, its always like that, its even worse than portals, portals have safeguards teleportation, is more risky, harsher, course it depends on the spell you use and what sorta portal. Most portals are better than the spells but some are worse than any spell ever could be and some spells… well no one's ever returned from to tell of just how bad they are."
Sylvanas, groaned, "Well when we go back could you please use a better spell, I think one of my internal organs was ejected out along with my breakfast."
I shrugged, "Can't, that was my best one, you're just new you'll get used to it eventually."
Sylvanas groaned again, before getting up to her feet, "So where is this bitch of a party we're supposed to be heading to?" she asked. I grinned and jerked my head back, "Right that way."
She turned her gaze to where I'd indicated and her eyes went wide. I turned with her to look at the great building before us. We were deep into Alliance territory, but in a special middle ground for Horde and Alliance members where violence was strictly prohibited, course I was neither Horde nor Alliance, so those rules didn't exactly apply to me, something that could be both an advantage and a disadvantage, hopefully though that'd just be my own little surprise to spring on them, as I was with Sylvanas Windrunner a renowned member of the Horde, so they'd probably assume I was Horde as I was with her… probably.
I remembered a gesture I'd seen many humans and blood elf's make towards women along with a small speech of some sort. So I curled my right arm and held it out towards her, "May I escort the dangerous arrogant bitch, Sylvanas Windrunner, whom I had the gull to refer to as guest and the boldness to refer to as girlfiend?" I asked, okay not exactly what all those humans and elves had said, but close enough under the circumstances. We still weren't entirely certain as to just what our relationship was, I'd pointed out that we were both often referred to as fiends and we'd decided to call what we had a… fiendship and so she was my girlfiend and I was her… boyfiend… we're still working on it.
Sylvanas stared at me an extremely cross look in her eyes, before she cracked a smile and took my arm or well took my hand really since she just barely came above my waist and we made our way, steadily to the front door of the building, where the convention was to be held… I had a very bad feeling about this, something was going to go wrong I just knew it.
When we got to the front door, both an Blood Elf and a Night Elf were guarding it, trading hateful glances with each other. They took one look at the two of us, instantly recognized Sylvanas and almost immediately recognized me, blanched and shit themselves, well the Night Elf shit himself I'm disgusted to say, the Blood Elf through stubborn pride and pride alone stood firm and kept stern control over his bowels, but it was a close call.
A Human, who'd been lurking behind them in the shadows, came out his hand on his sword, looking very cross indeed, "Halt!" he barked, "who goes there, Heroes allowed only!"
I smiled at him, showing off my wicked teeth and Sylvanas gave him a smile of her own and some of the color left him but not much, he still held firm in the doorway blocking our path. I was about to speak, but Sylvanas beat me to the punch. "I am Sylvanas Windrunner, former Ranger General of Silvermoon, queen of the forsaken, fallen hero of Quel'Thalas, I'm sure you've heard of me."
More color left the Human's face and he swallowed just a bit but still stood there in our way, rather a lot like a statue. "Y-yes, I've heard of you, we heard that you had disappeared, umm, is there any chance of dissuading you from going there? Cause well there is still some confusion as to whether or not you actually are a hero."
I growled, drawing the Paladin's attention unto me, "That, is exactly what we are here to correct," I read the name off his chest plate "Captain Vera'thas. Now let us pass, or I'll show you a trick I can do involving me just standing here you over there, your internal organs and a bucket."
The Paladin's face hardened, an amazing feat to be sure. "And who might you be, as I said heroes only, I doubt foul demons such as yourself have any business here." he said darkly, glancing at my horns and my wings and my hooves, "Dreadlord." he growled under his breath.
I took in a deep breath was about to respond to that, but once more Sylvanas managed to beat me to the punch, I wondered if I should maybe reconsider going on long raving, dramatic speeches, in favor of just rolling with things like Sylvanas did. god how I'd love to roll with her around under some bed sheets. I thought wistfully. "This here, is my date, I'm sure all the others brought dates of their own who probably didn't meet your quota, though he too is… like me a hero who has gone unappreciated for his acts and has likewise come to be recognized as a hero and to have his face put on the Silver Dollar, now lets move along, I grow impatient."
Sylvanas growled that last part and we started to move forward, when once again he demanded we halt. Me and Sylvanas shared a look and then as one Sylvanas drew back her leg and I drew back my fist.
Sylvanas' leg connected with his groin with such force he was lifted off the ground half a foot and I winced with sympathy even as I let fly with my haymaker knocking half the teeth out of his head.
He fell to the floor, more or less unconscious and most definitely disabled for the time being.
I saw the two guards starting to inch towards the door, the Night Elf a touch slower than the first, "Now I trust you two don't need to be told what will happen to you if you should decide to go and scream for backup or that any unwanted visitors have arrived, if you do, I'll demonstrate just what I was speaking of to the Paladin, only it'll be your teeth and testicles that I use as examples.
They paled slightly and I when next I sniffed the air, it appeared that the Blood Elf had joined the Night Elf in cowardice, not that I exactly blamed them, least not the Blood Elf, though the Nigh Elf really should have been the one to hold out better against fear.
So with a wolfish grin I held my hand back out to Sylvanas, "Lets go, my… Girlfiend, lets go and get the party well and truly started."
She grinned back at me, a devilish glint in her eyes, to replace the fear I'd seen earlier. "Whatever you say, Boyfiend." she said and I could tell she was stifling something akin to a girlish giggle when she said that.
And so we went forth, to put an end to everyone's quiet melancholy in the halls of heroes and to piss quite a number of people off, probably to banned as well.
Author's POV.
The Warlock, grinned down at his hands as they interchanged between deathly white and boiled lobster red and as insane decadent energy sparked between his fingers and in his eyes.
"Time to get this part well and truly started," he cackled, "Black Revenants, its time we show these mere mortals a true rave." he said as he gazed down to where a large number of orcs and blood elves were conversing in the courtyard Valentine Wolfe had set up, in a strange gothic fashion as well as quite a few demons.
As drinks were passed around and packets full of multicolored powders and pills, promised to bring about dreams and miracles, nightmares and wonders, horrors and cracks in reality and quite a few one hundred percent guaranteed to send them out of this world and straight into a parallel universe, whether or not they'd enjoy what they found there was a whole other matter entirely.
The Warlock watched all this come about and snapped his fingers, sending out a magical signal to the pocket dimension holding the Scarecrow mask and dropping it directly into Kael'Thas' lap. Kael'Thas flinched at first and then blinked as he was returned to a semi sane state and he ripped the strapped off the straight jacket, shortened the sleeves up and placed the scarecrow mask over his head.
Elsewhere in the dungeon, the lock to a cage snapped and Magtheridon turned his massive head to where the great doors to his prison creaked open.
As one. Illidan and Sylvanas, on Azeroth, Magtheridon and Kael'Thas, Valentine and the Warlock all said, "Time to play."
The Warlock grinned and gestured behind him and the Sand Naga rose up from the ground and the Black Revenants crawled out of the depths of the cave.
Though they all had been reduced in number, the Sand Serpents from the previous attack on the Black Temple and the Black Revenants mostly from the Warlock's increasing insanity.
They all just stood there in the moonlight for a few seconds before they all began to make their way into the citadel, from one way or another.
This time, no one would be able to organize enough people to fight off the invading force, not with Illidan and Sylvanas gone at any rate.
Valentine smirked as his reality shifted and turned, as his sight went beyond those of any normal man and he knew what was coming. He flicked the side of a large vat of crimson chemicals, made from distilled Draenor rain water, a vial of water from the lake of eternity Illidan had created and hidden behind a very strong magical barrier, distilled chaos magic, opium, mushrooms, alcohol, kryptonite, deadly draenor nightshade, ganja, demons blood, wampyre blood, a few brains confiscated from ELFs (Esper Liberation Front), pieces of the heart of Merlin Satanspawn won by me in a drinking game against some guy with a horse like face named Tommy Oblivion, the eye of Mattrim Cauthon, mescaline, some hoarse radish and bell peppers, tomato juice, a lock of hair from a renowned coward but extremely lucky and extremely fast man whose name escapes me though I do remember he had Wizzard scrawled across his hat with grass and sea shells and twigs and a very few sequins, the remnants of the black leather duster once owned by some now dead wizard named Harry Copperfield or maybe Blackstone or some such thing and a couple dozen other ingredients I could go on about.
All it needed was one last ingredient and the concoction would be complete and the real trouble would be unleashed upon the worlds.
Meanwhile in the Hero Convention thing. A guide was leading the large group of heroes as well as a few handfuls of hero admirers, comprised of Jaina Proudmourne, Thrall, Varian Wrynn, Rhonin, Tirion Fordring and of course Malfurion Stormrage and Tyrande Whisperwind. The guide lead them to exhibits that showed paintings and statues to represent and depict all of their great deeds and the deeds of others who had either failed to show up or were among the deceased.
"And this here," the guide announced happily as they came to an exhibit that depicted Archimonde's demise, "Is the turning point in the Legion's downfall, the part where the High Druid Malfurion Stormrage brought all the wisps together and put all of his nature magic against the Demon Lord Archimonde and destroyed him."
The crowds of admires whooped and cheered and clapped, as did all the other heroes, giving him looks of thanks and Malfurion accepted their thanks bashfully.
And then a voice called out above the sound of the crowd, "Actually you're wrong there, that wasn't the true turning point which lead to the Legion's downfall, you appear to be lacking the ugly but pure truth, there."
Heads turned and Malfurion's mind went blank for a moment in shock and recognition and he mentally pleaded, Please Elune, let it not be so. beside him Tyrande mentally pleaded the exact same thing.
They turned and there down the hallway, was the dreaded, Illidan Stormrage strolling casually down to them next to the terrible Banshee queen, Sylvanas Windrunner, her hand in his.
"Demon!" several of the guards of King Varian shouted and charged forth, only for Sylvanas to shoot one of Valentine's arrows directly into the shoulder of one of them and he dropped to the floor screaming in pain as electricity crackled through his body and he lost control of his bodily functions and the other was brutally kicked in the chest plate by Illidan, his powerful hoof almost smashing through the armor with the force and it sent him flying through the air and into a nearby exhibit.
The other heroes grumbled and shifted but most of them recognized Sylvanas and while most of them didn't recognize Illidan for who he was they did know Sylvanas well enough to know that she wouldn't bring a demon into a public place such as the convention if he was exactly… out of control.
"Who are you!" demanded the Guide going purple in the face at the sight of the broken glass and ruined exhibit, "what are you doing here! How did you get past the guards and what do you mean, this is the turning point in which the Legion was defeated!"
"I," Illidan grinned and stepped forward and the heroes did more grumbling and shifting, all of them tense and about ready to draw weapons or cast spells. "I am Illidan Stormrage, brother to Malfurion Stormrage, Lord and Master of Outland all who reside in it, and I am the true hero of that war, though certain factions," he turned his dark gaze to Malfurion briefly before looking over the crowd, "Have seen to it that both myself and my part in the Legion's downfall have been forgotten apparently."
Members of the crowd murmured among themselves and turned their heads to Malfurion and gave him questioning looks and he nodded sadly, "Hello brother, its been a long time."
"Not nearly long enough, if you want my opinion on the matter!" Illidan snarled, Tyrande stepped forward and Illidan's dark rage faltered just for a second and his features softened just a little, though it went mostly unnoticed, except of course by Malfurion and Sylvanas and perhaps Jaina and Tyrande. "What is it that you are here for, Illidan?" she asked staring at him.
He grinned wolfishly, "I am here to set the facts straight, Tyrande. I am here to claim my rightful place as Hero of the Battle against the Burning Legion, to get recognition for my sacrifices to this ungrateful world to save it and for the lovely Sylvanas Windrunner at my side, to likewise get recognition for the slaying of the Lich King!" Sylvanas and Illidan shared a nasty smile with each other and turned it onto the crowd and they shifted uneasily under the weight of the combined malicious gaze of Sylvanas and Illidan. "And we're ready to take all comers-on who would dare to dispute our word... you can count on it." in their heads three words roared in their minds. Garnel Yak Gaya!
no one asks what Lucifer and God like, because they don't matter in the end, they aren't in charge. their just... glorified babysitters. they see to it that Heaven and Hell are properly fed things that are prepared just the way Heaven and Hell like it. they make sure that Heaven and Hell are getting good grades, finishing their homework and are tucked into bed by midnight.
oh and they also ensure they have themselves a good escape route incase Heaven and Hell aren't quite satisfied with their meals and want seconds... with everyone else already in the mighty stomachs of Heaven and Hell... who do you think is next on the menu? hmm? *Grin* see you, off to Purgatory now, don't look for me