Leigh woke to find she could not move. Her head throbbed and her vision was blurry. Ropes held her hands behind her, a wooden pole pressed into her back. Her hand instinctively went to find the hidden dagger she normally had concealed under her belt, but found it wasn't there. She thrashed around trying to loosen the bonds that held her when she heard a voice telling her to stop.
"You'll hurt yourself if you keep doing that Mercy." The man who spoke was also tied to a pole, hands bond like hers, but he looked like he had taken a severe beating. Dried blood was matted into his hair and his face was a swollen mess.
"Maker what did they do to you?" The voice coming out of her was not her own. She wondered if something had been done to her throat to make it sound so different.
"I tried to cover your escape my love, but I see I failed. They are planning to burn us, just like they did Andraste. I doubt we will get the same act of mercy from them though."
"Why are they doing this to us?"
"The leaders of the Chantry fear the power you wield. They do not want to give up their power over the people of Thedas. You are a threat to them."
"I have only ever served to help my fellow man. I am no threat to them."
"One of the soldiers informed me that the Divine and her zealots want to change the laws your mother put into place. They want all mages to be confined and controlled. The work you have done is being undone. They are turning my fellow Templars into mage hunters, not protectors."
"How foolish can she be? This will only insure that the Maker will turn away from his children again."
"You are the only one who could challenge her. She removes you then mages do not stand a chance." The man's battered face turned sad. "I failed you."
"You did not fail me, you have never failed me." Leigh tried to blink back tears, but they made steady streams down her cheeks. "I...I love you."
"I have always loved you My Lady. I will die with only one regret, that I was not able to save you."
"What a touching display." Rage built up in Leigh's chest as the older woman slowly walked out of the shadows. "This knight has betrayed the Chantry and you my dear have failed in spreading your blasphemy to bring people to your cause."
"You will waste away in the Void if I have anything to say about it. You will bring another war to Thedas doing this. Mages are not slaves. My mother fought to free people from tyranny and you would become no better than the magisters who held you under their boot not long ago. If you do this you insure the Maker will never turn his favor back to his children."
"You would say anything to save your own skin malificar." The bond man roared and struggled against his bonds.
"How dare you call her that! Do you know who she is? You damn yourself and all who follow you. Justice will come to you all one day and we will be here to see it."
"I doubt that highly. I sentence you both to death by flame. I will give you a few moments to say your goodbyes. I am not heartless." Leigh watched the woman leave and fear gripped her heart. She tried to use her magic, but she couldn't. She felt a empty feeling when she tried to use it.
"They put a binding spell on you. Your magic is useless." She looked down and saw the same amulet that she had always worn, but the stone was not there just symbols.
"I am so sorry, my love."
"I'm not. I don't want to live if you are not here. I gladly go to the Maker's side because I know you will be there with me."
"Always. They will never find them know that. They will be safe." Her thoughts went to two small children. She had to stifle a loud sob knowing she would never see them again. Her eyes met his and she could see the same look in them as hers did.
"I do not fear death." Their executioners returned carrying torches.
"For the crimes against the Chantry your sentence is death. May the Maker have mercy on your souls." They lit the tinder under the man first making Leigh listen to his screams as the flames consumed him. The last thing Leigh felt was the flames lick her body and her own screams.
Leigh shot up from her bed screaming. Her skin still felt like it was on fire as she scrambled out of the bed and she hid herself by her desk. She did not hear the door burst open or Anders calling to her. He found her shaking uncontrollably and still screaming in the corner of the room. When he went to touch her she shrieked and shrunk away from him. Her eyes spun in her head not being able to focus on anything.
"Leigh, it's me. It's Anders." "Maker, what is wrong with her?"
"Ser Anders I heard screaming is..." The sight of Hawke on the floor made the question die on Orana's lips. "Holy Maker."
"Orana, I need you to get Aveline now. Go!" The elf ran out of the house as fast as she could. "Leigh, please love look at me." He held her face between his hands and tried to get to her to focus on him. She struggled against him like wild animal caught in a trap. He felt the sting of her nails against his cheek. All he could do was hold on to her, making sure she could not hurt him or herself. It seemed like eternity had passed before the heavy footfalls of Aveline sounded up the stairs.
"Anders, Orana said you nee...ded...my help, what is wrong with her?"
"I don't know, she was fine when she came home. I stayed up a while longer and she went off to bed. I heard her scream and I found her like this. It is like she doesn't know who I am or where she is." The fear on his face made Aveline edgy.
"She doesn't respond to you at all?"
"It is taking everything I have to stop her from hurting herself or me." Aveline knelt down next to them trying to think of what to do.
"Hawke, it's Aveline. Your safe, can you tell me what you see?" Leigh's eyes stared out beyond the guard in front of her, staring at something that wasn't there.
"Fire." Her voice was the barest of whispers.
"Fire?" She shared a look with Anders who had a look just as confused as hers. "Is there something you see that is on fire?
"They...they set me on fire."
"Who did?"
"Templars." The word left her mouth is a wail and Leigh collapsed, sobbing into Anders. Her hands twisted into the fabric of his shirt, holding on to him for dear life.
"Templars? Why would...that makes no sense? Hawke look at me." When she didn't Aveline took another approach. One she knew would get a reaction. "Hawke look at me!" the guard's voice boomed through the small room making even Anders jump. This caught Leigh's attention. Her head snapped up and she stared at Aveline. "That's better. Now what happened?"
"I...I'm not sure all I can remember is fire and Templars." She looked up at Anders and winced. He had scratch marks across him cheek and some of them were bleeding. "I did that didn't I?" Her fingers raised up to his face, but she stopped herself.
"It's fine. I am more worried about you. It did not even look like you knew who I was."
"All I could see was fire and I heard laughter. Like who ever set me ablaze enjoyed seeing me suffer."
"You said that Templars did it."
"I saw armor with the flaming sword on the front of it." Leigh closed her eyes and tried to piece together the dream. "Wait someone else was with them and woman. She said I had to pay for what I had done. She called me a malificar."
"Unless you are a mage I doubt that will ever happen Hawke. I think you have been reading too many of those stories Varric found for you and your imagination got the better of you." A heavy gauntleted hand patted her on the shoulder before helping both her and Anders to their feet. Leigh went and sat on her bed while Anders walked Aveline to the door. "I will be at the Keep if you need me. I need to go get some sleep. I trust you have it from here?"
"Yes, thank you Aveline for coming as quickly as you did. I couldn't reach her, but I had a feeling you could."
"I'm glad I could. I did not like seeing her like that. As long as I have known her she has always been for the most part level headed and calm. What I saw in there was anything but."
"I know, even since the battle with the Arishok she has been different. She is much more wary of everything almost to the point of being jumpy."
"Take care of her Anders. She is the one person who can hold this ragtag group of ours together. If we lose her..."
"We will not lose her." Aveline nodded. Know he would do what ever it took to keep Hawke safe.
"Good night Anders." After he made sure the door to the estate was locked again Anders headed for their room. He found Leigh still sitting on the bed, biting her lower lip and looking deep in thought. He went and sat next to her and waited for her to speak. He had forgotten the marks on his face still needed to be healed. His concern for her made him forget his pain.
"I can't shake the feeling of the flames burning me. My skin still feels hot." His hand touched her bare arm, but her skin felt cool to his touch.
"It was just a dream love."
"It seemed so real." She pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on them. Her eyes caught sight of the scratch marks she had left on his face. "You'd better heal those before they scar." She felt his magic pulse as he healed himself. "I can't believe I did that to you, I am sorry love."
"It was nothing I can't fix. I was more worried about you hurting yourself." Leigh blew out a ragged breath. She hated that the dream effected her this way. She had had nightmares before, but nothing like this one. Anders wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her closer to him. "I am worried about you. You haven't been yourself since the fight with the Qunari. Even the others have seen a change in you."
"I guess almost dying changes a person." "You must tell him Leigh. Keeping this secret will only make things harder in the long run. He can help you." "I...I'm afraid I will lose him." "Do not be ridiculous, he loves you. Merrill has taught you all she could over these past few months. She is still learning herself. You need him, as he needs you." "What I am to tell him, oh by the way love I am a mage surprise?" "Sarcasm is not helping Hawke." "Don't think you using my surname is going to get me to snap to attention." "It is either you do this or I will." "You wouldn't?" "I would, but I would rather you tell him. I do not think he will take it well from me." Fine, bossy pain in my ass." "There is no need for name calling." Leigh was so caught up in her argument with Pash she did not hear him talking to her.
"Leigh, did you hear me?"
"Huh, sorry I...my mind is still hung up on the dream."
"I was saying you need to get some rest, the circles under your eyes are trying to compete with mine."
"I can't go back to sleep right now. My mind will not quiet."
"I could give you something to help you sleep."
"I would rather not." He gave a aggravated sigh, but did not push her. "I need some tea. Would you like some?"
"No." The look on his face told her he was worried and a bit annoyed with her. "I think I will go back to the study and read." He got up and left her alone in their room. She waited til she heard the door to the study close and she crept down the stairs heading for the trap door that led to the cellar. She did not notice Anders was watching her from the shadows. She slipped down into the dark stairwell without a sound and went to the secret room she had found years ago. In the room she stored her father's old robes and magic supplies. The only other person who knew of this room had been her mother. Anders followed at a safe distance through the dark corridors. It was so dark he almost missed the room she had disappeared into. The room was small, but immaculately clean. Leigh was kneeling in front of a chest.
"I wish you were here with me Papa. I feel so lost. I know I have to tell him, but I'm afraid." She rummaged through the chest and pulled out a set of mages robes. Her father had them made for her right before he died. He patterned them after her favorite rogue leathers. "You never got to see me wear this or...or see me become the person you wanted me to be." She stood up and placed the robes on the small potions table before she took her father's staff off the wall. Anders had never seen anything like it. He realized the light in the room was coming from the staff. It gave off a soft warm glow. "Please give me a sign I am doing the right thing."
"Leigh." The speed in which she whirled around with the staff made her looked like a practiced mage. Her eyes went wide seeing Anders standing in the doorway.
"Anders, what are you doing down here?"
"I was about to ask you the same thing. May I?" His hand wrapped around the staff over hers. She let him take it and watched as he looked it over.
"It was my father's. It was one of the few things we were able to take with us from Lothering."
"And the robes?"
"They...they are mine."
"Yours?" She turned away from him to gather her courage. "Love please talk to me."
"I have something to tell you and I have no clue where to begin."
"You know you can tell me anything." She held out her hand in front of her and ignited a fireball. The look of shock that crossed his face would have been comical to Leigh any other time, but she knew this was dead serious. "Maker's breath!" She closed her hand and waited for him to recover. "How?"
"I was born a mage, but my magic started to manifest itself when I was four."
"Four? Most mages do not coming into their powers til they near adolescence."
"So I have been told."
"You have been hiding this from me the whole time?" He began to shake with anger.
"When you met me I could not use magic. I was bound to protect my family."
"There is no way to bind a mage's magic, unless you make them Tranquil."
"Fade spirits can if they are strong enough. My father had no choice, I was a danger to myself and my family."
"Your father did this to you because he thought you were a danger?" His voice raise and she could hear the echo of Justice ringing in it.
"I had a nightmare and my magic went crazy. The next morning our neighbors informed my father that the trees in the woods near by were turned upside down. I did that without knowing it. It took a few more incidents before he figured out what was happening. My family had to move because of me. I put everyone in danger of the Templars finding us. They would have killed my father and me as well."
"You were a child, all they would have done was throw you in the Circle."
"Not if they found out how powerful I was. The trees I turned over, well lets just say it was about four acres worth give or take." His eye brows shot up and his eyes went wide. The look on her face told him she was not kidding about the trees. His head spun trying to take this all in. He was torn between wanting to scream at her and wanting to embrace her and never let go. "They never would have been able to hold me, let alone control me. The rite of Tranquility is useless on me as well, my will is too strong or at least that was what I was told." Anders fell silent and began to pace in the little room. "My father knew if the Chantry got their hands on me I would be dead and if someone else got their hands on me I would be used as a weapon. I didn't get use to having my magic so I really didn't miss it. I sure as hell didn't miss the constant whispers from demons trying to possess me."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I wasn't allowed to, even my mother had no idea. My father told her it was him that caused the trouble. When I was bound I made a promise that could not be broken to never let anyone know what I was. I wanted to tell you that first day after I went to help you with Karl. I wanted to let you know I understood better than anyone what you are. You've had Justice in your head for what six maybe seven years? I have had the spirit that bound me in mine for over twenty years." His head snapped up at this piece of information. The cold look in his eyes made Leigh want to shrink into the wall. "Well he hates me, are you happy now?" "He does not hate you, he is just confused and afraid, mostly for you I might add."
"This spirit, has been joined with you for over twenty years?"
"No, she was inside the amulet I use to wear. The stone held a piece of the Fade so she could always be with me."
"Then how could you hear her?"
"She was very powerful and also very kind to me. I don't understand how I was able to hear her, I just could."
"When the stone was broken did she return to the Fade or did she die?"
"No to both."
"Then..." Realization crossed his face and his eyes turned sad. "She is in you."
"She saved me. I would have died that day. It was never anything either of us wanted. I have seen what happened to you and Justice, I am so afraid I will..."
"Corrupt her."
"I didn't mean...this is all coming out wrong." Leigh's anger flared and she punched the stone wall beside her. She heard the sound of her bones breaking, but she was too angry at herself to care. She raised her hand to hit the wall again, but his caught her wrist.
"Stop!"
"Why should I? It is very clear you are pissed at me."
"I am not, this is just a lot to take in. Let me take a look at your hand."
"No."
"Leigh don't start acting like a child and let me see your hand." She thrust her arm out to him, but did not look at him. "You nearly shattered your knuckles. Maker, what am I going to do with you?"
"Gift wrap me and leave me in front of the Gallows sounds appropriate." His magic sputtered and his anger began to rise.
"That is the most asinine thing I have ever heard you say! I would rather cut out my own heart than ever let those bastards touch you. I would cover this city in blood to prevent anything ever happening to you."
"And this is the reason I was afraid to tell you any of this. I don't want you to become so on edge that I lose you." Leigh brushed a lock of hair out of his eyes with her good hand then rested it on his cheek. "If I lose you it will kill me." Anders eyes fluttered closed, a heavy sigh escaped his lips and her leaned into her touch.
"So you never learned how to use your magic. I guess I have a lot of work ahead of me teaching you."
"The only place I was safe to use my magic was in the Fade. My father and Pash would instruct me. I was good with primal and elemental spells."
"Pash?"
"The spirit, I couldn't pronounce her name when I was younger. Compassion is a large word for a four year old." He started to laugh.
"That is what the inscription meant on your amulet."
"It was to remind me what was sacrificed so I could be safe."
"So no one else knows?"
"Well..."
"Who else knows?"
"Merrill. I went to her for help. I thought she could teach me enough to control my magic since she and I have the same powers. And before you start about blood magic, she never even brought it up. She knows how I feel about it."
"How long have you been learning from her?"
"For a few months now. I knew I had to do something after the rage demon. I did not want to let anything like that happen ever again."
"That was you that brought that thing here? You are lucky you weren't possessed." Leigh just stared at him with a amused look on her face. He noticed and remembered. "Right, you already are. You didn't think I would help you?"
"I knew you would, but I know you too well love. You were already worried about what would happen to me if the Knight Commander decided to storm the estate and found you here. Now that I am unbound we are in more danger and I fear you will do something that will get you killed. I thought if I could learn to control my magic, I could take the some of the burden off your shoulders. I don't want you to feel you have to protect me all the time."
"I love you, so I do feel I have to protect you now more than ever. I was fighting to free mages, but after what happened with that girl in the tunnels...I walked away. I can't control myself or my anger. I don't want you to have to pay for that."
"It is my choice."
"I know better than to argue with you, but please tell me you will let Merrill and I teach you before you go and show off your new found powers."
"That is the plan. Maybe between the two of us we can get her to give up blood magic."
"If anyone could do it, it would be you love." Anders started healing her again. "You said your father was a healer, did he teach you?"
"He never got the chance. Pash can heal, but I don't know if I can tap into that." She felt her bones start to comeback together. The pain began to ease wiping the grimace off her face. "That feels so much better."
"Well stop punching stone walls and it wouldn't hurt in the first place." The playful tone in his voice was back, but his eyes still showed worry. "I know Justice has opinions about people, to the point he goes to far. Do I have to be prepared for Pash to do the same to me?"
"She has taken a very hands off approach when it comes to me, but this is still all very new to both of us. I don't know what will happen and neither does she." "Would it ease his mind if I talk to him?" "I can ask." "Would you like to talk to her?"
"I..I'm not sure, she isn't going to fireball me is she?" Leigh could not help it and let out a giggle. "It is a legitimate question, especially after what Justice has tried to do to you."
"She will not hurt you Anders. Pash is very kind and very patient. She has to be to deal with me all these years. As you keep telling me I am quite stubborn. I will be listening so please don't fret."
"Alright, I will talk with her." Leigh closed her eyes and relaxed so Pash could come forward in her mind. "Please be nice to him." "I will not harm him Leigh. He is a good man with a noble heart. He just needs to let go of his rage." "Maybe we can help him with that and it will make Justice less volatile." "Perhaps." Anders watched her skin crack with power like his does when Justice bursts forward, but instead of a bright blue glow hers was a warm red one. When her eyes opened he could see they were red also. It unnerved him a little to see the woman he loves look like this.
"Greetings healer." Pash's voice was warm and airy. It sounded far younger than he had expected.
"I don't know how to greet you. When I met Justice he was trying to saved trapped souls in the Fade. He wasn't much for small talk."
"You may call me Pash. I would first like to thank you for all you have done for Leigh."
"I haven't done anything, but love her."
"You have done more than you know. You were there for her after they took her sister and after her mother's death. She blames herself for both, though there was nothing she could have done to prevent either instance. Love is a powerful thing. Those who know it are richer for it and those who don't live half lives. You have brought her back to life, when she thought all she had was the burden of being the constant protector."
"She has given me far more than I could ever give her. She accepted what I was without question or concern. Justice gave her every reason to walk away, but she stayed even when it could have cost her, her life."
"My brother sees everything as black or white, right or wrong. Justice does not know how to fathom the mortal heart. He has tasted memories and feelings, but can not grasp them. Being what I am I know of love, mercy and passion. I also can step away from the not so pleasant emotions. He is not to be faulted for not understanding. He was not made to know these things."
"You speak of him as if you know him." The look on her face became thoughtful for a moment. In her eyes he saw something he could not quite put his finger on. It looked like sorrow, but he wasn't sure.
"I know him well. He was my companion in the Fade. He never understood why I tried to always help your kind when they traveled through our home. He thought I was wasting my energy on mortals, but he never abandoned me."
"I am sorry for what I have done to him. I never wanted this for us. I thought I was helping a friend and he in turn could help me."
"I know, neither of you is at fault. I know all too well why you hold so much anger in you. I have seen many times the evils heaped upon mages. It was never meant to be like this. They took the teachings of Andraste and twisted them to serve their own purpose."
"What? I don't understand."
"She meant for ever mortal to live free not just the ones who were born without magic. She wanted a world where magic was a gift not a curse. The reason she fought the Tevinters was to be free, not only the slaves they coveted, but also to make Thedas into a place where everyone had the same freedoms."
"How did it all go wrong?"
"Fear, pride, jealousy, take your pick. Andraste held no ill will towards mages."
"That is not what what the Chantry preaches. They said she wanted mages controlled so they could not rise to power again."
"That is what they want you to believe. They leave out that she had a daughter who was born a mage and took over after they burned her mother."
"Maker's breath! If her daughter was a mage then how was the Chantry able to do this to us?"
"They hunted her down, killing her and her Templar. With them gone there was no one to dispute the changes made to the Chant of Light. The faithful of today have no idea they are following a lie at least where mages are concerned."
"Is there any proof to this, I mean is it written down anywhere."
"After this long a time I doubt it would matter."
"Your right, what matters is changing it now."
"What matters is protecting Leigh and getting her ready for what will come. I can feel the unrest in this city, it will not take long for everything to fall apart." The story Anders had just heard from Pash resonated in his head.
"Wait the dream Leigh had about being burned by Templars, was that what happened to Andraste's daughter?"
"Yes, it was not my intent for her to see it, but my memories are now hers." "So that is what that was." I apologize Leigh, I know it was a horrific thing to go through." "We will talk again Anders for now take the book in the chest and read it. It will give you a better insight to what Leigh is and other things."
"Thank you, and thank you for saving her life. I don't know what I would do without her."
"You are welcome." The red glow faded and Leigh's haunting gray eyes returned to normal. She swayed on her feet and fell into his waiting arms.
"Maker, that felt weird. It is like watching myself over my shoulder, but not being able to do anything."
"Welcome to my life." Once she got her bearings back Leigh took her mage robes and her father's staff, while Anders took the book. She closed the secret door behind them and they returned to the larder. "If you wear those you won't be able to fight like you normally do. They will not protect you at all."
"I am going to modify them and add leather under the bodice. It might take a while, but it is doable."
"First you need to sleep and so do I."
"Are you alright with all this?"
"That your a mage?" She nodded, biting her lower lip. "Leigh, you are the most important person in my life. You have stood by me when I gave you ever reason not to, why do you think I would abandon you over this?"
"I don't, it is just...I have never had much luck in people sticking around. The fact that all of you have this long seems like a miracle to me."
"We all love you, in our own ways. To some of us you are like a sister, to me you are my other half. You keep me anchored. You completely own my heart Leigh, no other woman can ever say that, not even my mother."
"Then I am the luckiest girl in all of Thedas and no that is not a joke. If there was any way to marry you I would jump at it in a heart beat. I hope one day it will be possible."
"I do too, now off to bed with you before you fall over."
"Only if you join me."
"I wouldn't have it any other way love." They ascended the stairs to their room arm in arm. Neither knowing what the future would bring. The only thing they knew was they would face what ever came together.