"B'Elanna?" Chakotay asked as he rushed into the lobby, hope permeating his voice. She shook her head sadly.
"She's disappeared Chakotay, no one has seen her." B'Elanna shrugged, lost for possibilities. Chakotay sighed deeply.
"Has anyone seen Shane?" Kathryn rushed into the lobby. Chakotay looked over at her and despite himself he laughed.
Kathryn frowned at him and looked to B'Elanna. She noticed how tired and exasperated she looked.
"Maybe they've run off together." B'Elanna mumbled under her breath. Kathryn rolled her eyes at B'Elanna.
"Just try and make my day a little brighter, B'Elanna." She tossed the remark with an unimpressed expression to B'Elanna. B'Elanna quickly chastised herself.
"I give up. If they come back. They come back. If not-" Kathryn snapped her head to Chakotay.
"Thank you for your input, Chakotay. However, I'm still betting on the fact that Shane is somewhere in the building. He's not one for running off, not that he has any reason to anyway." He didn't take her tone very well.
"I thank you for your input also, Kathryn, and pray tell, how do you know Sarah's still not in the building?" He looked at her expectantly; she tried to hide the threatening smirk.
"Oh maybe because she tried to deck me before I sent her sprawling across the floor. Then I believe she sent some charming remarks over her shoulder while she picked herself off the floor and fled out the door. Detailed enough or would you care for a demonstration?" Her voice grew bitter and he glared at her.
B'Elanna nearly whistled at the scene building before her, but she wisely kept her mouth shut and prayed for some, any, intervention before they really started.
"Tell me, Chakotay, why would your wife think that I might be sleeping with you? And, just let me add, she had a more graphic way of putting that." His eyes widened in horror. He grimaced and his shoulders sank, he was sick of the whole mess. He walked towards Kathryn.
"We have to talk." He took her arm and for once she didn't protest as he led her away.
Chakotay closed the door of the same room he and Tuvok had been in earlier. He turned to see Kathryn standing in the middle of the room, waiting for him to proceed. He frowned and started pacing in front of her.
"Tuvok told me." She frowned at him again and when he looked for her reaction and only saw confusion he began again. "He told me about yesterday. You, him, talking about me." As he continued fear began to grip her face.
"I had a similar conversation with Tom last week. He told Tuvok, Tuvok told him. Tuvok told me, I'm telling you and here we are." He said as he danced a hand between them. She swallowed as she tried to remove the fear from her face.
"Tuvok has a big mouth." She whispered absently, looking away from him as she sat on the bed behind her. Chakotay took a few tentative steps towards her.
"I told Tom that I still have feelings for you." Her eyes darted up to meet his and brightness flashed in them. For the first time she noticed how strained and exhausted he looked.
"And I do, Kathryn. I always have." He moved closer to her. She gazed up now with glazed eyes.
"I love you." He knelt down in front of her and her eyes followed him down as a lone tear spilled from one. Chakotay sighed at the floor and once he had summoned the courage he looked up again. He searched for her hand and took it in his.
"If I had thought that there was even a chance, one in a million, of you returning those feelings I would never have gotten married Kathryn. Never." He threw his head to the side, partly ashamed for his confession.
"I love Sarah but she will never fill the hollow in me that you do. And…" His words stumbled, falling into those dark corners from earlier. He closed his mouth, almost unable to bear what he was about to say. "I…" he began with such revulsion for himself that Kathryn's face instantly showed worry. "I think… once I realized I would never love her more than you I became angry. I was angry at you, for not coming to me, for not loving me. Angry at myself for not being able to change it. So, I tried to. " Kathryn blinked and looked away quickly, her face set hard - trying to control her emotions.
"I tried to prove myself wrong by marrying her. To show me… to show you that I could be happy without you."
While his words flowed like a tragic love song, he watched her hand slowly move in shock to her mouth where it hovered mere centimeters from her lips. Her fingers lingered there in the silence now, as if they would consummate the emotion by touching and in doing so promote an eruption they were not sure should come.
"My heart beats for you Kathryn." He looked to her again, watched her tears falling freely, silently. "Sometimes I think you are my heart." Her hand dropped suddenly and she pursed her lips to clasp down the sob that threatened release.
"Tell me you don't feel anything and I'll drop it. Completely." His voice was firm yet pleading. She gazed at him, her eyes wavering. She shut her eyes tightly and jumped off the bed and away from him.
"You're married, Chakotay." She said, looking out the window in a voice that was firm, yet knowing her so well, he heard a quiver in it. He stood and walked over to her.
"I'm getting married tomorrow. TOMORROW, Chakotay." She whirled around to face him as he approached her.
"What about Sarah? Shane? Regardless of her seething hatred for me, Chakotay, Sarah is a beautiful and young woman that loves you enough to hate me. Loves you enough to see this before we even did ourselves." Her hands waved in the air frantically as she tried to rationalise the situation frustratedly.
"And Shane. He's a kind, gentle and loving man, who I can't for the life of me understand why he loves me so unconditionally. No amount of men could say they would've stood by me and the way I've been this last year. But he has and at the end of it all he still gives me an out. The night before our wedding no less!" She threw her two hands upwards and turned abruptly from him again.
"You're right." He said decidedly, nodding. She spun around confused at his sudden submission. He looked at her straight in the eye.
"You're absolutely right. They are both wonderful people. Wonderful people who don't deserve to be married to someone who loves another." His words sent a wave of worry crashing over her and she felt tears welling again.
"Just tell me. Answer my question: Do you have feelings for me?" She gazed soundlessly, unmoving at his question.
"Yes or No. It's simple, Kathryn." He prompted her. She shook her head distantly and slowly focused her shining eyes somewhere that wasn't in the room. He closed in on her.
"If you say yes. I'll leave Sarah in a heartbeat." Her eyes flew to his and bore right through him.
"You can't do that." She said it as if it was an order. Her eyes, swelling with tears, now spilled down her pale cheeks. "She loves you." She told him hastily.
"Do you?" He questioned, all but ignoring what she had said.
A silence flowed around them and lulled them into its stillness as he awaited her answer. Finally she drew in a sharp breath.
"Yes." She answered with a solid assuring voice. A bright smile spread across his face and he let out a sigh of relief.
She still stood rigidly before him. He would soon take care of that. He advanced on her but she pulled away abruptly.
"But I can't do this. I can't do it to Shane and I can't do it to Sarah." She swallowed bitter tears back.
"You made a promise to her and I made a promise to Shane." His wounded eyes pleaded with her. The very sight of them weakened her more than she cared to admit. His fixed gaze was slowly wearing her resolve away; she felt the strength ebb out of her body.
Slowly she began to walk past him, making her way for the door. His eyes followed her and he turned in accordance to see her reach the door and open it.
"I made a promise to you once too." He whispered and she paused in the doorway. Her head turned to the side.
"That was a long time ago. Things have changed." She told him over her shoulder with a profound sadness lacing her words.
Slowly she stepped out and closed the door quietly behind her, not once looking back. Chakotay's eyes fell from the door as it closed.
"Not my love for you." He said to himself.
He stared at the spot she had just vacated feeling like she had torn a hole in his being and taken something with her and all he could do was gaze dizzily after her.
Then suddenly from behind him, "Her pride is daunting isn't it?"
Chakotay's sullen head whipped up and away from the door Kathryn had gone out of and found Shane standing behind him...