Sarah's mind reeled and her anger simmered as she read on through both sets of logs. She tried to stay focused on the whole body of each but it made her feel like yawning for the most part. Other times, when she read into something that wasn't in the least what she was looking for, she actually felt guilty for prying into it, for prying at all. She knew what she was doing was very wrong, but as she read, she found out more than she wanted to, more than she ever expected to and it was impossible to stop. She took a deep breath and began reading again.

*~I can't help but think she has ulterior motives. Why would she do this? I should, by all rational deduction, be in the brig and not in comfortable crew quarters. What the hell is she up to? I wish I knew. I also wish I knew why I unquestioningly take every word that passes her lips as gospel. I trust her already. She wears the mark of my enemy and yet I trust her more than some that fight on the same side as me. My first impression of her was painfully physical. I can't remember a woman having such an effect on me the first time I saw her. She blinked on my viewscreen in the midst of hell and all I could do for several seconds was stare at her. She is beauty shroud in danger. She's feisty too. That, however, I'm used to. But something tells me this one will outdo even Seska. Here's to my second impression.*~

*~ I can't begin to fathom the events that unraveled between the shuttle crash and my return to Voyager. It terrifies me to think that the afterlife holds nothing more than what the alien offered me, nothing more than his matrix. But it also terrifies me to think that perhaps that is all there is. From what I saw and from what I can surmise the paradisaical existence in eternity he promised wasn't altogether far from just that. Perhaps if I had gone I would have found my paradise. One with those I have loved and lost like my father. What disturbs me is that he lured me there to suit his own needs. I was not ready to die but I was weak, vulnerable and he preyed on that. I should take Chakotay's advice and not dwell on it; I have tossed it over in my mind enough in the past while. Perhaps another trip to Lake George will ease my mind. I wonder if he's free this evening.*~

Sarah shook herself she was reading more than she needed to yet again. She arched her eyebrow admitting that it was too compelling to do otherwise. She continued selecting logs from either at random and letting her eyes fall on random sections.

~ *~ My time here has been enlightening. I have come to this planet grudgingly but with no choice as my ship continues its journey to Earth. And I must remain here. It angers me so, that sometimes when I think too deeply about it, I end up shaking with hatred. I don't know if I ever will accept living here for the rest of my life but I won't rest as long as I have exhausted all possibilities of a cure for this plague that bounds us here. Speaking of `us', Chakotay seems to have accepted all this too easily. He's acting like he planned all this, that it was something he had been looking forward to. He's been overly kind and patient with my reluctance. Too kind almost. He told me a story tonight, a story of an angry warrior. It was a beautiful story and so very touching; I had to fight to quell my tears. It may have been a coward's way of telling me... telling me… what exactly? That he's in love with me? Maybe, maybe not. All I know is that there is something growing between us that goes way beyond friendship. I felt it strongly tonight and I was unable to accept it. I may not be a Captain here, but I still can't shake the idea that my attraction to him is either too dangerous or inappropriate. It sounds silly I know and I can't help but think that it's not the strong attraction I feel for him that scares me but something entirely stronger.*~

*~...an alliance with the Borg! That's her latest stunt. Spirits she drives me crazy. She is uncharacteristically obstinate! More stubborn than a Klingon! We've all tried to steer her of it, she waved away all protests at the briefing where she told us of it. She conveniently forgot to inform me before she told everyone else. I knew there was trouble when she didn't run it by me at first, I just didn't know how much trouble. I stayed behind after the briefing, as she knew I would. I hadn't said a word during the whole meeting and as astute as she is, she noticed and she predicted I would approach her after - she was waiting for me - prepared for war. That's when it all went to hell. We've fought, oh we've had some blow ups, but this this was bad. I don't normally stand so firm against her, I voice my opinions but I will normally relent to her decision. This time I simply couldn't. She is blinded by her cause and I fear her blinkered idea is going to get us all killed. She argued but I didn't back down, I countered each comment she threw at me with an intense passion. In the end I still held firm to my opinion that she was making a fatal mistake and it took more strength out of me to walk past her as tears stole into her eyes than the fiercest of battles I have fought. She thinks she's alone now. I wish she knew how wrong she is.*~

Sarah paused startled by something. She drew her head up straight and another sound came from directly behind her. She whirled around in her seat to see Tom floating above her. Her eyes widened in horror.

"What are you doing?" He asked as he walked around her. She opened her mouth but choked on the words. He ignored her and his eyes drifted to the computer screen as she looked on in fear. Slowly he began to read.

*~Finally we are free of the Devore troops and the rules of their space. I have to say I was somewhat saddened that Kashyk betrayed us in the end. I had suspected it, but I guess there was that small hope right up until the end that had me wishing… There are many that will be happy to see the back of him, I was among the few, the very few that actually liked him. B'Elanna told me just today of her certain dislike of him. It was no secret that Chakotay didn't like him either. I think he knew more than he let on. What security ensigns only theorised about… he knew. *~

Tom's eyes grew wide and his jaw hung ajar as he realised what he was reading. Anger rose inside him. He turned on Sarah.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? How the hell did you get the Captain's logs?" He nearly shouted and she recoiled from it. Tom pushed past her and closed the link. "How did you get those?" He asked with resent. Despite her fear, she straightened her back to face him.

"She gave me access to Chakotay's personal logs I used her command code to get into hers when she left." Tom stared blankly at her. "You won't say anything will you?" She pleaded now. He blinked and looked at her, deciding.

"No. No, there's been enough drama tonight already." He told her, the wake of anger still in his voice. He sank into a chair behind him not believing what the Captain had done. "She shouldn't have been giving you access to Chakotay's logs in the first place." He said shaking his head.

"Don't blame her I twisted her arm, for want of a better phrase." She told him and he looked mildly surprised that she would defend the Captain. "She was only trying to help my marriage." She added. Tom leaned forward in his chair his interest now peaked.

"And did she?" He questioned softly. Sarah stared at him.

"No." Tom grimaced. Sarah inhaled and leaned into her chair. "Our marriage is beyond help." She sighed. "I guess I was looking for proof to convict them with." She looked up to Tom. "Something to justify the pain I am feeling, something to beat at." She flicked her eyebrows up at that.

"They truly never were together were they?" She asked her eyes shifting from the room with a sorrow Tom couldn't place. He shook his head. She craned her neck and let it fall backwards until it rested on the back support of the chair.

"I was convinced that what was between them was sparks from an old fling or something but it wasn't, was it?" She brought her eyes back to Tom. He didn't answer. "They were-" she shook her head, correcting "-are really in love with each other." Tom avoided her pained eyes. "Those logs only proved to show me just how much." She winced and rubbed her forehead, feeling a headache coming on. Slowly she began to rise from the seat. "Chakotay knows nothing of this and if you would, I'd like it to remain that way." She moved to walk away.

"Where are you going?" Tom couldn't help the urge to ask. She stopped and looked round to him.

"To see if I can't get a divorce a day after my wedding." The words would've shocked Tom or unsettled him had she not said them with a contented grin. He laughed to himself as she left.

"Sarah, what are you doing?" Chakotay stepped into their hotel room, trying to conceal the fact that Kathryn was standing just beyond him.

Sarah turned on one foot from her position at the end of the bed. His body was large and it dwarfed Kathryn's at the best of times and this time was no different. She could not see Kathryn but she knew she was there.

"I'm leaving." She answered and turned back to her packing. She heard him move closer.

"Sarah, don't do this. We can work this out." She ceased her packing altogether and spun around.

"If you're talking about our marriage, I've already worked it out." Her words held no hint of anger or disdain and for a second he thought that things were going to be okay. Then she turned away from him again.

"I want a divorce." Her reply was calm and collected and it rooted him to the spot. She winced at the silence that was impossible to ignore. "Or an annulment - whatever works." She lifted a top and threw it in her case. Then she heard soft, light footsteps approaching.

"Sarah." She sighed and retired from her packing as she slowly turned to see Kathryn standing before her.

"I did what you asked. Surely you must have your proof. There was never anything between Chakotay and I and there isn't now." She told her with a gentle compassion.

"I got proof, Kathryn, just not the kind I was looking for." She sighed again. She heard Chakotay clear his throat and she looked to him as his eyes returned confused from Kathryn.

"Sarah " He breathed and she closed her eyes at his troubled face. She was aware of Kathryn stepping closer.

"I don't want your hatred for me to ruin your marriage. Chakotay is my best friend, I wouldn't want that for him." Sarah watched as she valiantly fought to push her next words past her lips. "If you find what we have so threatening then I'm prepared to " She cast her eyes back at Chakotay who was now, very interested as to how she would finish. "I'm prepared to stay away from him." She sighed with relief as she finally got the words out. Chakotay's eyes shot wide open.

"Kathryn!" He protested and grabbed her by the shoulder. Sarah glanced back and forth between the two before her, who were locked in a charged communication of solely eyes. She bowed her head.

"This isn't about hatred." They broke from their stare and looked at her as she threw the last items of clothing into her case and clasped it shut. Hauling it off the bed she turned to them again. "It's about love." They both blinked, confused. Once again she sighed.

"Chakotay, you're a wonderful man, one that I'm happy to say I fell in love with and sad to admit, that never fell in love with me." He moved to protest but she silenced him with her hand.

Gazing at him she slowly turned to Kathryn. "I expect, under different circumstances, we could have been good friends. Who knows, maybe we still can." Kathryn frowned at her in confusion but she continued. "In the past hour I got to know you more intimately than most. You posses a remarkable character that is impossible to ignore, one either eventually hates you with passion or trusts and respects you beyond no bounds. I can see why he loves you." She smiled warmly at Kathryn and then at Chakotay before she pushed past them towards the door.

Kathryn glanced to Chakotay and he returned her gaze, both bewildered and standing aimlessly in the middle of the room.

"I expect an invitation to the wedding." Laughter floated in with the disembodied voice and as their eyes caught they blushed together, daring to wonder if the other was thinking the same as they were.

Perhaps there will be a wedding after all.

THE END :)