Leigh bared her teeth at Samson. Her patience was all but gone at the moment. Her thoughts were only of that of her sister who had been kidnapped by the very people Leigh was trying to help. Samson held up his hands not wanting to get in the middle of what ever they wayward mages and Templars were doing. He at least had a bit of sense. Anders, Aveline, Ashlyn, and Isabela stayed silent letting Leigh talk. None of them have ever seen her this angry.

"Thrask is running the show down there. I would direct you questions to him, as for me I am getting out of here. I am all for mages having a fair go at freedom, but some of those down there are a bit scary."

"Thrask has always been straight with me, why would he kidnap my sister?"

"The only way you are going to find out is go down there and ask." Leigh shot Isabela a withering glare and marched down the hill toward the encampment. She caught sight of her sister's still form laying on the ground half way down the hill and took off in a fast sprint. Ser Tharsk saw her coming and readied himself for a fight. Leigh stopped just short of the Templar her hands held up in peace.

"Ser Thrask."

"Serah Hawke, I see you have found our little resistance against Meredith's rule."

"So I have, but that still does not tell me why you have taken my sister? She has nothing to do with this, she is leaving to join the Ferelden Circle in less than two weeks."

"We have heard that you are working for Meredith and I have to ask why Hawke? You have helped so many mages gain their freedom why would you help her track them down now?"

"I wasn't helping Meredith. I was trying to help get the mages out of Kirkwall, but two of them turned to blood magic and gave me no choice. I did not want to fight them. I want to see mages free."

"Then we have been fools." Thrask's eyes softened and he turned to the severe looking mage standing next to Bethany. "Grace release her."

"I think I like her right were she is."

"Grace we were mistaken, Hawke is not working for Meredith. We have no reason to hold Bethany. We must free her."

"I do not care if she is working for the Knight Commander or not. I want her to pay for taking my Decimus from me. I will see blood repaid in blood."

"No Grace, you will stand down. Now release the girl." Leigh caught sight of Alain the other surviving mage from Starkhaven, he looked pained.

"Oh I will release her when I want to, but first her sister will learn what is like to face a blood mage." Leigh watched in horror as Thrask's body was lifted off the ground, a silent scream of fear and pain as Grace drained his life blood to fuel her spell. Anders tried to move to block the spell from hitting Leigh, but he was blown back by the Templars Grace had enthralled. His mana drained away, as did his physical strength. Ashlyn ran pass him, slicing the Templars in the throats as she went.

"Isabela help Anders. Keep those bastards off of him." Ashlyn grunted as she pushed the the Templar she was fighting back. Anders scanned the battle for Leigh. A lyrium potion was thrust into his hand by Alian who had picked up Bethany moving her away from danger.

"Drink it, it will help." Anders drank down the potion and felt his energy returning. "Here comes more Templars. It looks like the Knight Captain." He turned and saw Cullen racing toward them. The man had his sword drawn. Cullen saw Bethany's body laying still near Anders and his heart dropped to his feet. He skidded to a stop, dropping down to his knees.

"What did they do to her?"

"Grace used blood magic to bind her. I...I will have to use it again to free her." Cullen nodded slowly at Alian giving him permission to do what he had to. The young mage slit his wrist, calling forth the magic to break the spell. Bethany moaned and stirred, her eyes fluttered open and she was greeted by a relieved sob from Cullen.

"What...how did I get out here? The last thing I remember was going into my room, then nothing." Bethany shivered and clung to Cullen. "Wait if you are here Anders, where is my sister?"

"She is fighting Grace."

"But Grace is a blood mage. Leigh can't fight her, she end up getting killed." Bethany pushed Cullen away and ran deeper into the encampment. Aveline, Isabela and Ashlyn were still fighting the enchanted Templars. The sand around them turned red with blood.

"Maker's mercy. It's like the Tower all over again."

"Pull yourself together Cullen."

"You were there too Anders you can't tell me this does not make your blood run cold."

"It does, but we will be of no help to anyone if we are frozen with fear."

"Anders, hurry!" Isabela's voice was thick with fear. "Aveline is hurt!" Bethany got to the warrior first and began to heal the belly wound she had received. "That bitch put up a barrier we can't get to Hawke and she is wounded badly too." Through the glowing barrier Anders could see Leigh holding her side, bleeding from cuts that seemed to cover most of her torso. He let Justice loose to try to break through, but even his powers did not seem to put a dent in it. He howled with rage, screaming for Leigh to run. Grace's wicked laugh could be heard echoing of the sides of the rock face.

"What's the matter Champion, you can kill a Qunari, but have trouble with a little bit of magic? I have to thank your friends for slaying all those Templars for me. It saves me the trouble and their blood is fueling my magic. I am going to enjoy bleeding you dry." Grace raised her hands, the world seemed to shift and the air got deathly still. The ground under Leigh's feet began to shake and her body was lifted off the ground by a wave of magic. She struggled as Grace shot blades made of blood at her, cutting her further. "The more you struggle the more I enjoy this."

Leigh could hear the demons coming even before they tore through the tear in the Veil Grace had opened. Shades, rage and desire demons all converged on her helpless bleeding form. "Command them!" "What? How do I command demons?" "You did it before at Ostagar." "I was desperate to save Carver from the darkspawn." "Is this not as life threatening as then? You have to stop hiding what you are, embrace your power and your role in the world and show this bitch who she is dealing with!" Leigh gritted her teeth and tried to call her magic to bare. "Could you do something about the massive blood lose Pash or should I just let her kill me?" White light arced through her body closing her wounds almost instantly. Leigh could feel strength returning to her body as well as her mana building to it's most potent. Grace had taken her eyes off Leigh to taunt the others stuck behind the barrier.

"Don't worry once I am done with her you are all next." Leigh broke the spell holding her in the air and let her body slump to the ground. The demons rushed forward to claim her, hissing and growling at each other to be the first to rip her apart. This caught Grace's attention and she squealed with glee. "She is yours now do my bidding and kill her!"

"I have another idea Grace. I think you need a taste of your own medicine." Leigh stood up and to Grace's shock was uninjured. The demons coward away from her, starting to retreat. "Stop and heed my commands!" Leigh's hands stretched out and red tendrils shot from her fingertips anchoring Grace to the spot. The woman's eyes went wide with horror as the demons closed in on her. Leigh's eyes glowed a deep red making her look more fearsome then any of the demons that stood before her.

"Wait, how can you do this you are no mage?"

"Your right Grace, I am much more than that, but sadly you will not be around to find out what I truly am. You threatened my sister and my friends, for that you will be shown no mercy. Blood magic always comes with a price and now it is time to pay yours just like Decimus." The tendrils slammed Grace into the rock face holding her there for the demons. "Take her to the Void with you." Grace screamed as the demons carried her off to the tear in the Veil. The barrier shattered with a flick of Leigh's wrist, but her friends were rooted to the spot. Only Anders had ever truly seen her like this and it was years before. Again the witch's words echoed in his head. She had commanded demons without the use of blood magic. They feared her. When the last of the demons slipped through the tear Leigh sealed it then collapsed to the ground. Anders went to run to her only to be held back by Ashlyn.

"She might be possessed."

"She already is Ash and you know that, now let go." Bethany and Cullen could only stand there staring at Leigh while Anders tried to revive her. "Love open your eyes." Her eyes cracked open and the red glow remained. "Are you hurt?"

"No, just drained."

"I knew you were powerful, but that..."

"Now do you see why I was bound. Maker what did I do? I should have just killed her myself instead of letting those demons have her."

"I have only known blood mages to be able to command demons."

"I can without it, but it is not something I ever want to do again. It makes my skin crawl." Leigh looked over his shoulder and saw the expressions on the others faces. Leigh sighed and laid her head back down on the ground. "I guess now they are scared of me."

"I would say so, yes."

"I was sure you would be too or at least Justice would be out here wagging his finger at me."

"He wants to, but he knows Pash will stop him. As for me being frightened of you, I'm not. I know you all too well to know you would never turn to blood magic, not after what happened to your mother and Merrill's clan."

"Tell that to them. Even your commander looks jumpy."

"I'll talk to them. I want you to stay here and rest for a moment. You need to get control of your mana I can feel it still rising."

"Another of the dangers I pose." She gave him a weak smile and closed her eyes. Anders stood up and walked back to the others. Bethany was the first to find her voice.

"How did she do that?" Anders explained it all, at least what of it he knew. Leigh was still very closed lipped about some of the details of what she was. He wasn't not sure if it was because she did not know or Pash would not let her say. "That's impossible, why didn't she tell at least me. I would have understood."

"It was part of the binding spell she wasn't aloud to tell anyone. Your father was the only one to know."

"So this spirit has been inside her all this time, just as you have Justice?"

"No, she was held in Leigh's amulet." Realization snapped in Bethany's brain and her hands flew to her mouth to stifle a cry.

"So when I broke the stone I let her out!"

"If you hadn't Leigh would not have survived."

"What kind of spirit is it?" Anders smiled.

"Compassion."

"That fits my sister."

"Yes it does." None of the others noticed Cullen had wandered away from them to where Leigh was resting. He was torn between his duty and his feelings. What he saw her do chilled him to his very core, but this was Leigh, a woman he once loved. Now that he had feelings for her sister, could he hurt Bethany by taking her sister from her?

"I know your there Cullen." Leigh lifted herself on her elbows and stared at him. He winced at the sight of her glowing red eyes. Again thoughts of the Kinloch Hold flooded back to him again. "I must look absolutely frightening for you to look at me like that."

"No scarier than when you threw the dagger at me after..." He tried to smile, but he couldn't. Leigh brought her hand up to cup his cheek, Cullen winced and pulled back a little. She looked up at him and the pain etched in her face hurt him.

"After my father died. Remember what I asked you?"

"What would you do if I was a mage? I remember."

"Well I'm a mage, so I ask again what will you do now that you know I am a mage?"

"I...I will do nothing. You saved me from Wilmod, you forgave me for what happened before your father died. I will never harm you Leigh. Anders told us everything, Bethany is shaken up."

"I can imagine. Not everyday you find out your older sister is a mage, when all your life you thought she was just a sneaky bitch."

"Your not a bitch, but I do remember you being very sneaky. Not too many people can break into a dorm filled with Templars and do what we did together without getting caught." Leigh snickered, recalling the memory. "So when does the glowing go away?"

"Not sure, normally right away, I just hope it doesn't stay like this permanently it will kill my ability to sneak up on people." Cullen gave her a exasperated look, shaking his head.

"Most people would be more worried that they would be hunted by Templars and you are afraid of not being able to sneak up on people because your eyes are glowing a hellish red. Sweet blood of Andraste Leigh."

"I was never one to have a normal way of thinking." He gave a short laugh and smiled ruefully at her. Leigh sighed and slammed her head back on the sandy ground. "I hate this. I have asked over and over why me, but I guess everyone does that a least once in their lives."

"Yes they do..." The sound of footsteps behind both of them made Cullen turn around. Bethany cautiously made her way to Cullen's side, but kept as much distance between herself and Leigh. "Are you alright Beth?"

"Yes, no...I don't know. How am I suppose to feel about this? My sister just commanded demons!" Leigh jumped to her feet and stormed away from all of them. Aveline stepped to go after her, but Anders held her back.

"Give her a moment."

"Why aren't you going after her?" Before he could answer Bethany ran after the retreating form of her sister.

"Leigh wait!" The older woman turned around and Bethany stopped her gate for a second, scared of the glowing eyes and the hard expression on her sister's face. "I..." Leigh held up her hand to silence her sister.

"I wanted to tell you. I use to watch you and Papa work magic together and all I wanted was to be able to do it too. I know you don't want to be a mage, you wanted a normal life. If I could give that to you Beth I would. I would rather they hunt me instead of you."

"So this is why Papa looked so sad when he would see you watching us?"

"I guess, he felt responsible for what happen to me, though it was never his fault. I have no idea why I am the way I am, but it has nothing to do with Papa being a mage. It just is what it is."

"So you have all this power?" Leigh knew what was coming, but she prayed her sister would not open up that old wound. "You could have saved Carver! You could have killed all those darkspawn and our home would still be there! Why didn't you try! It's your fault!" Bethany beat her fists on Leigh's shoulders and all Leigh could do was stand there, letting her let out grief she never really expressed. "You could have protected me from the Templars and you didn't! I..." The words died in her mouth when she saw Leigh's face turn sadder then she had ever seen it.

"You hate me."

"Leigh..." Leigh turned away from her sister. Her shoulders slumped and shaking. Bethany reached out her hand to put it on her sister's shoulder, but Leigh flinched and stepped away.

"Don't, I understand. I hate myself! It's my fault all of it! Papa, Carver and Mama are dead because I wasn't strong enough or fast enough to save them. All this power and I can't even protect the people I love." Bethany had never seen her sister doubt herself ever. It frightened her more than anything else in the world. Leigh had always been the strong one, the leader. To see her broken like this made her angry. Mostly at herself for even thinking she hated her sister, but for her sister to believe that she could really hate her.

"No you don't understand Leigh, you have sacrificed everything to protect our family. You had a chance at a normal life, yet you gave it all up to save us all from the Qunari. You stopped them from taking Isabela and from killing all those nobles. If that stone on your amulet had not been broken and you had not been injured this would have never happened right?"

"Hindsight is crystal clear Bethany. I can't change what happened, any of it. If I could have stopped the darkspawn I would have. The power I have can't stop an army. I can handle possibly a dozen Templars, maybe twenty normal soldiers. I am not all powerful, only the Maker is and he has been silent for over a thousand years, maybe longer than that."

"You can take on Templars?"

"Yes, their spells don't work on me like that would you or Anders. I feel the drain, but it does not take my mana away completely."

"And the fact you know how to fight without magic you have an advantage most mages never have."

"I know, Papa wanted me to be able to do something. When I was bound it felt like I lost most of who I was. I needed to find something that would fill the void my magic left. Being a rogue is much like being a mage. You have to do everything just right or it can blow up in your face."

"Like the time you tried to make miasma bombs in the kitchen and we all had to sleep in the barn for three days til the house aired out?"

"Exactly." Bethany put her hand on Leigh's shoulder and squeezed it. "If I could take your place in the Gallows I would Beth."

"I would never let you do that. You would die there. You need to be free."

"They never would be able to hold me regardless."

"Leigh I know your strong, but the walls of the Gallows are hard to escape. It is not like you could blow a hole in them." Leigh smiled at her sister and nodded to the rock jutting out of the water not more than a hundred yards from where they stood. It stood over ten feet out of the water and had to weigh a few tons. A deafening crack followed a small wave of her hand. Everyone that had been standing at a distance from the sisters came running just in time to see the rock crumble into the ocean.

"Walls can be broken. I don't ever plan on letting them get me Bethany. Once you are out of Kirkwall and back safe in Ferelden I plan on moving on. To where I don't know, but I need to get Anders away from here. In time I hope to return home."

"What about the others?'

"I...I will miss them, but they don't need me here. Fenris is safe now that Danarius is dead, Varric is living high on the nug as he says, Merrill I will probably take with us for a while til we can find her another clan no that hers is gone. Aveline has Donnic and is happy being a guard. Sebastian will either take back his home or not, the choice is his. Isabela has a ship now which means she can come and go as she wants. I can leave knowing they will be alright Beth. Nothing is holding me here once you leave."

"What about Uncle Gamlen or our cousin?"

"I will leave Charade the estate. She is an Amell after all it is as much hers as it is ours. She can take care of Gamlen."

"You have it all figured out then?"

"I hope so, I never liked being here. I miss home, I need open fields and forests, not dirty crowded cities. That's why Papa left here. He hated it here."

"I heard rumors he was resigned to his fate here til he met mother. Then he became rebellious."

"Mama was pregnant with me when they left here. He did not want the Chantry to take me from them.

"Papa went to great lengths to make sure you and Mama were safe."

"I wish he could have done the same for you."

"Oh, that would be great, having a bunch of mages running around with spirits in them instead of demons. It has really worked out well for Anders." Leigh opened her mouth to argue, but snapped it shut. She knew her sister was right. Justice had been pushing Anders harder and harder of late. He was not the man she had fallen in love with. She saw flashes of him, but even they were few and far between. "So the one you have, what is she like?"

"Pash is kinda like the wise aunt we always wanted. She is kind, compassionate, and has a answer for almost everything. Unlike Justice she does not assert herself over my will."

"So she doesn't make you glow all blue and scary?"

"No. I glow all red and scary, when they are both out it makes a eerie purple light, at least that is what I am told. She can control Justice though so that is a plus right?"

"So compassion is stronger than justice?"

"Mercy stays the hand of justice."

"Ah, got it. So what now?"

"I try to get Meredith out of power and help ease some of the tensions she has caused. You my dear sister are going to Ferelden."

"What? But I can't leave Cullen here."

"He will be going with you."

"He told me what happened in the Circle there and what happened to him. I can't do that to him."

"Who said you were going to Kinlock Hold? You my dear little sister are going to apprentice under Senior enchanter Wynne, the royal court mage."

"We are going to Denerim? How...?"

"Thank the queen of Ferelden when you see her." Bethany's eyes widened. "The king and she were here to take our countrymen home and asked to see me. I guess word got back home of what I did here."

"Papa always said the name Hawke would rise again. I always thought it would be Carver making a name for himself as a great warrior."

"He was a great warrior and an even better brother."

"I know you two butted heads, but he did love you. He envied how you could step into any situation and come out on top."

"And I envied how close the two of you were when we where younger. I felt left out."

"It all changed when my magic showed up. Carver was never the same around me after that."

"I know, he didn't understand."

"But you did. You were always the go between with us." Leigh grinned at Bethany then turned to see the others staring at her.

"So am I still glowing?" She asked Anders as he walked over to her. His face had an annoyed look to it.

"It looks like it is fading now." Anders gestured to the now crumbled rock. Leigh just shrugged her shoulders at him. "This is not a game of show off Leigh or did you forget there is a Templar here? You don't need to draw attention to us anymore than is already there." His words dripped venom making her recoil.

"I trust Cullen!" She can see the blue glow of Justice showing through, but the voices were mixed so she knew they were Anders words too.

"Trusting a Templar is idiotic, and I know you are not foolish Leigh. Why put your faith in him?"

"They said the same thing to me about you and I still have faith in you. I have known Cullen for more than half my life. I know he will not hurt me or my sister." Anders growled, throwing his hands in the air and walked away. Ashlyn went to stop him, but Leigh grabbed her hand. "Let him go."

"There are other Templars out there waiting. With as angry as he is do you really want him alone." Leigh opened her mouth to answer only to feel Pash yell a warning in her head. Leigh spun on her heels and raced up the hill. She found Anders surrounded by Templars and on his knees. One of them held a brand in their hands, seeing it made her panic. She knew what it was and she would be damned if she was letting them use it on the man she loves. Without thinking she threw a miasma flask into their ranks and put herself between the brand and Anders.

"Leave him alone!"

"This is Templar business Champion. He is an apostate and needs to be neutralized."

"You have no right."

"Yes, we do. The Knight Commander has been watching him for sometime and wants him taken care of."

"Over my dead body you sanctimonious prick." Two of the Templars fellows grabbed her arms in attempt to move her, but Leigh held her ground. "You Templars think you are so righteous and so strong, I wonder what would you do if you came across a mage who can fight back?" With that Leigh took to the two men holding her and cracked their heads together. With one fluid motion she swept her leg and knocked the brand holder off his feet. "Not so tough now are you?" The other Templars closed in on her and Anders as she drew her blades.

"Enough, Lieutenant stand down now!" Cullen had made his way up the hill with the others close behind him. Bethany gave her sister a warning glance to let him handle it further. "This man is a Grey Warden and not under our jurisdiction."

"If he is a Grey Warden than I am the King of Ferelden." Some of the brand holder's fellows snickered, but Cullen was not amused. He cuffed the man and growled in his face.

"I happen to know the King of Ferelden and you demean his name comparing your sorry ass to him. I am still the highest rank here and you will do as I say and stand down or I will let his Commander do what she must." The men turned and saw Ashlyn draw her wicked looking blades. Her face painted in her customary death mask made them all take notice. "I thought as much. Head back to the Gallows and yes that is an order!" The men did not hesitate to leave, it would have been comical if the situation had not been so dire. Leigh knelt down next to Anders who's face was a mask of pure fear. Her hand gently touched his cheek and he flinched away.

"Love it's alright, their gone. Your safe." He turned his gaze up to her face, but the blank look remained. "Anders, please talk to me say something."

"You should have let them do it." His voice was so soft Leigh was not sure she heard him right.

"What?" Anger filled his voice and his expression as he gripped her shoulders painfully.

"You should have let them do it!" Leigh gasped in shock and from the painful grip that held her slender shoulders. "They could have hurt you or worse figured out what you are. How could you be so stupid!"

"Anders let her go now!" At hearing Ashlyn's voice he dropped his hands off of Leigh and stood up. "What has gotten in to you?"

"Nothing Commander."

"Bullshit! You are acting like...like...Maker I have no words for what you are doing. This is not you."

"Maybe this is me and you never really wanted to except it." He looked down at Leigh and saw she was shaking. It took all of his strength not to drop to his knees and beg for her forgiveness. He had to stay on the path he had laid out to keep her safe. Even if it meant torching his relationship with her. It would make it far easier on her if she hated him, though it killed him to think she ever could. He stormed off again and this time no one tried to follow. Bethany wrapped her arms around her sister and tried to calm her down. Leigh just watched his retreating form with wide eyes. She felt like she had been slapped across the face by the one person she never expected it from. Ashlyn step next to Cullen who was still standing in a guarded stance.

"Cullen thank you for stepping in. I know after what happened at the Tower your feeling toward mages was severely shaken."

"It was, but the love of a good woman has changed that." Cullen smiled down at Bethany who returned it. "Not all mages are dangerous as long as they remember to have compassion."

"Truer words have rarely been spoken. You have come a long way for that day, I am glad to see it."

"As am I. I need to get Bethany and Alian back. Explaining this will be difficult."

"I will come with you and try to help explain. Hopefully I still have the silver tongue my husband swears I do."

"Thank you Warden Commander." Cullen turned to Leigh who was now on her feet. The dead look still in her eyes as he drew her into an embrace. "Your secret is safe with me. Once I am gone from Kirkwall you need to get him and yourself out of here. I have been able to steam the tide away from you, but Meredith is getting worse and I fear for your safety."

"I have no desire to stick around here after you and my sister are gone. I...We need to get as far away from Kirkwall as possible, then maybe I will get the man I love back."

"I hope so for both of your sakes." Leigh kissed Cullen on the cheek and turned to her sister to say goodbye for now. The group stayed together til they got back to the city. Leigh broke away from the three women once they were back in Hightown.

"Hawke where are you going, your home is that way?"

"I'm not going home right now. I need to clear my head."

"We can come with you if you want."

"No, it's alright Aveline I just want to be alone for right now. And please don't try to follow me, I don't need a babysitter."

"Hawke..." Leigh slipped into the shadows and vanished before any of them could get her. "Flames, I hate when she does that. I swear she turns into mist and just floats away."

"I had a mage friend who could do that. It is quite unnerving and I'm a rogue who prides herself in not being seen or caught."

"I want to find Anders and wring his neck for what he said to her. Who the fuck does he think he is?"

"I don't know anymore Isabela, I thought I knew the man better than most, but now I am not so sure. He was a little bitter when I met him, but now...now he is different. I wonder if it is because of Justice." Both women voiced their opinion on the matter before parting. Ashlyn headed back to the Amell estate hoping to find Anders and to figure out why he was being such a prig, but before that she went to the Gallows to help Cullen.

OoO

Leigh went to the one place she knew none of her friends would think to look for her, The Blooming Rose. She sat at the bar and tried to drown her sorrows. It had been years since she had gotten drunk. She was more than half way to being three sheets to the wind. She assumed the sour expression on her face scared away any person that had a idea of asking her to join them in their room. Even the bartender was quiet, only coming near her when she tapped her fingers on the bar to refill her drink. She had no clue how long she had been sitting there, nor did she care. She could still feel the sting of Anders' words in her ears and on her heart. The whiskey was dulling it, but not enough for her tastes. Ever the rogue she spent the time listening to other conversations in the room. Some she wished she had not eavesdropped on because of their depravity, others she thought she could use to her advantage if she took the Viscount's seat.

The thought of taking the seat made her shake her head bitterly. She couldn't take that position and continue to let herself and Anders suffer in this Maker forsaken city. Even the errant thought of him made her want to cry, but she had shed enough tears in the last few months. Every morning of late she had been waking up cold and alone. Every day she prayed for just a glimpse of the man she fell in love with and every day it became more obvious that man was gone. He had been consumed by the plight of mages and his hatred of the Chantry. Her Anders was gone and she did not understand why. Why would he push her away when she was the only thing standing between him and the Templars? Was he trying to get himself killed?

"Hawke?" Leigh wheeled around on her bar stool and came face to face with Sebastian.

"I knew you weren't as wholesome as you claim to be Choir Boy." Her words were not slurring yet, but it was clear by the glassy look of her eyes that she was inebriated.

"I am here to counsel one of the women that works here. Why are you here and alone?" Leigh turned herself back around staring at the back wall of the bar. She tipped the shot glass back and let the burning liquid slide down spreading fire all the way to her belly. She tapped for another and was refilled quickly.

"I just needed sometime to myself. So please run along, go back to the Chantry and leave me to my drinks."

"Are you alright?"

"Just fine, so don't you worry about little old me. I can take care of myself and anyone else who comes along." She said a silent prayer that he would leave her alone, but the feeling of his hand on her shoulder told her he was not leaving.

"Even with the alcohol I can see your in pain. I am here if you need to talk." He settled himself on the stool next to her and asked the bartender for water. Leigh growled a sigh and slumped her head into her folded arms. She looked up at the man waiting on them and motioned for him to come closer.

"Give me a bottle of what you have been serving me. Put his drinks on my tab and keep the change." Once she had the bottle in her hands she slammed a few gold coins on the bar and stormed out. Sebastian was close behind her. He grabbed her shoulder and wheeled her back around to face him. "Leave me alone Sebastian! I am not in the mood for company or to talk!"

"Hawke what happened?"

"Nothing! Maker, are you deaf or just stupid. I...Don't...Want...To …...Talk!" The pain that crossed his face snapped her anger, making her feel like such a bitch. Tears started to fall from her eyes unbidden and she slumped to the ground. "Oh Sebastian, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. I have no right to take this out on you." Her pitiful sobs only became louder when she felt his arms wrap around her, pulling her into him. He let her cry just as he had years before when her sister was taken by the Templars.

"Let's get you off the ground and out of the cold."

"I...I don't want to go home."

"Then I will take you with me to the Chantry. It is late enough I can sneak you in to my room without anyone seeing."

"Your room?"

"You need to sleep Hawke." She just nodded and let him help her up. "Let me have the bottle, I think you have had enough for the night."

"No, I paid for it and I plan to drink it. I need this tonight. All my life I have had to keep control to make sure everyone is safe. Just for tonight I want to be free. I don't want to feel anything."

"This is not the way to deal with your pain. You can't bury it under whiskey, believe me I tried."

"Sure, you were a wild boy right?"

"I was a rake." Leigh eyed him suspiciously, but his eyes told her he was not lying. "I was a horrible person, a shame to my kin. The Chantry made me a man."

"A good man." Leigh brought the bottle to her lips and took a deep pull. His hands took the bottle from her and he brought it to his lips. It had been years since he had tasted anything other than sacramental wine during Chantry services. The whiskey burned, but it felt good. "Good isn't it?"

"I had almost forgotten..." His eyes met hers and he smiled.

"Sometimes it is good to forget."

"Come on, we should get out of the cold." Leigh took his hand and they made their way to the Chantry. She leaned heavily on him as the whiskey finally hit her hard. To her credit she kept her mouth shut so as not to wake the rest of the people in the Chantry. Once in his room the two continued to talk and drink.

OoO

When Leigh did not come home Anders really started to worry. Neither Bodhan or Orana had seen her since she had left the house with him a over two days ago. He kicked himself mentally for screaming at her like he had. His fear for her outweighed his sense. He sat down in his chair and buried his hands in his face. A low growl of frustration escaped his lips.

"You have no one to blame but yourself for yelling at her." Ashlyn was leaning against the door jam with her arms crossed staring at him.

"I know, I know. I don't need you to rub my face in it."

"You better check your attitude Anders, or do you forget I can kill you before you can say mana."

"Ash...I'm sorry."

"You have been saying that a lot recently, but do you mean it?"

"I'm trying to protect her!"

"It looks like she can take care of herself. I have never seen anything like her, not even Flemeth."

"Flemeth? You know Flemeth?"

"Knew, I...I had to kill her to save my friend Morrigan."

"Well I hate to tell you she is still alive. She had Leigh bring a piece of her in an amulet in exchange for helping her and her family escape the Blight."

"Morrigan did warn me she would not be truly dead, but that is disturbing. Do you think Flemeth knew what Leigh was?"

"I don't know and I pray to never find out. If legends are true, she would devour Leigh for her power."

"I doubt she would be able to, not with the spirit guarding her."

"I have to find her Ash."

"I hope you plan on begging and groveling for a while after you do. If Alistair ever talked to me the way you did to her, I would be handing him his balls on a silver platter." Anders hand involuntarily went to cover his manhood as his body curled in on itself."

"How does that man survive you?"

"He has learned to never question me or treat me like a fragile flower. Leigh and I are a lot alike in personality so I suggest you stop trying to protect her and let her know what the hell you are are planning. You might be surprised by her. She has as much to lose as you do. Don't you think if she loses you it will kill her?"

"She deserves better."

"You keep saying that, but you know as well as I do she doesn't want better, she wants you. Let this go Anders and come back to Ferelden with us."

"I can't leave it as it is here. What about the mages if they are left under Meredith's rule? How can I leave them when I am walking around free and happy til the fucking Taint takes me?"

"Sometimes you have to pick and choose which battles you can win and which ones you have to walk away from. This battle will get you and everyone you love killed if your not careful." When he did not answer her Ashlyn turned to leave. "You did not tell her did you?"

"Tell her what?"

"About what it means to be a Grey Warden, that you only have about another twenty to twenty five years to live. She doesn't know does she?"

"No."

"Anders, you have a choice to make, be happy with what you have and make the best of what time you have left or throw everything the Maker has given you away. If I were you I would take joy in the fact you have someone who loves you. I am going to go look for her I suggest you stay here and think about what to say to her when she comes home. Unless you would like to go back to sleeping in that cesspool in Darktown." Ashlyn pet Tovis on her way out the door leaving Anders to his thoughts. His mind wondered to where she could be, if she was alright. He paced the floor in the study til exhaustion forced him to go to their room and lay down. He kept himself awake staring at her empty side of the bed.

"What am I doing?" "What do you mean Anders?" "Can I truly hurt her like this? Is it far kinder for me just to leave and give this fight up?" "What of the ones left behind? Will they not receive the justice they deserve? Will you abandon them yet again just so you can act like a normal man, while they suffer? You asked me to help you fight this war now I will see you make good on your words." "What if I just want to..." "NO! Justice must be done." "What we are planning is not justice it is murder." "Isn't that what they do to mages everyday Anders? Blood must be repaid in blood." "That sounds more like vengeance." "Is that not what I have become?"