The long journey up the mountain was taking it's toll on Leigh and her companions. The path was steep and knee deep with snow. Leigh was very surprised they were able to get the carts up the incline, but the horses pulling them were burly and strong. When asked where they were being taken to Nathaniel and Raven were tight lipped. The journey took them a few days from landing at Denerim. It seemed the Templars here had already heard of what had happened in Kirkwall and they were looking for the group. They had to take the long hard route to wherever it was they were going.
"We should be there by tomorrow if we are lucky." Raven called back.
"I surely hope so. Dwarves were not made to ride horses." Varric growled and shifted himself weight in the saddle.
"You sound like Oghren my friend. He hates coming up here. I wasn't planning on having to bring anyone up here, but we don't have a choice. The Templars we ran into outside of Amaranthine made up our minds for us.
"You Wardens like your mysteries don't you?"
"I would tell you where we are going, but it is safer not to."
"Safer?"
"Just in case one of us gets caught. They won't be compelled to say were we are going. I know most of you would rather die than let them get Hawke, but torture can be a wonderful lip loosener." Varric gave the Warden Commander a wide eyed stare. "Sorry the assassin in me couldn't help it. My mind always goes to a dark place."
"I don't know whether to be disturbed or grateful." Raven gave a hearty laugh and urged her mount on ahead. "I swear I am going to seriously question Blondie about his choice of friends. I thought we were crazy." The rest of the journey was uneventful. Sometime before dawn the next morning the very tired and cold travelers arrived at their destination. Raven dismounted and barked orders to the guards that came to greet them. Nathaniel ran in the large keep and returned a few moments later with a group of men to unload the carts. Leigh jumped off her horse and went to make sure Anders was moved gently. A well armored cloaked man ran out of the keep and picked up Raven spinning her around.
"I was so worried about you!"
"I'm fine my love, I am glad you got my message. I was afraid it might have been intercepted."
"No, your lovely little network of spies and people who owe you favors made sure it got to us. Your other cargo as it were is here and settled in nicely." The cloaked man looked over her shoulder and winced as he saw them unloading Anders from the back of one of the carts. "What happened?"
"It is a long story I will tell you about later. Right now I want to go in and take a nice warm bath. I need to thaw."
"I can help you do that too My Lady."
"Oh you will be helping love, I have missed you so much."
"Our son has missed you as well. He is here with Wynne up in our room."
"I can't wait to see him." The large group unloaded the carts quickly and settled in the keep for the day. Leigh's group crowded into the room Anders was placed in and they started a grime vigil. It had been weeks since he was injured and still he had not come to. The longer it took the less chance for him to ever wake. His body was being sustained by magic for the time being, but even that could only go so far. He needed to wake soon or his body would waste away. Leigh had not left his side since she was finally able to get out of her own sick bed. She had not spoken more than a few words here and there to her friends, but they did not pry either. All of them knew, if she lost him it would break her. They all hoped it would not come to that.
OoO
Leigh stretched and yawned. She had not slept much in the last few days of travel, but she was afraid to close her eyes. Every time she did she saw that cursed sword impale the man she loves again and again. She felt her stomach rumble and she sighed. It was well after midnight and she knew other than the few guards that were patrolling the halls and the grounds, most of the rest of the keep was asleep. Another rumble told her she had to eat. She tapped Merrill on her shoulder and woke the sleeping elf.
"I am going down to the kitchen do you want anything?"
"No Hawke I am fine. I will keep and eye on him. If anything changes..."
"Thanks, I'll be back soon." She made her way to the kitchens and found she had to go through a makeshift Chantry. Her heart clutched for a moment and she had a strong compulsion to go up the the alter and pray. She had done everything else she could, maybe prayer would help. "You can't take him yet. Please, I can't do this alone."
"Your not alone my child." The voice made Leigh's heart jump into throat. She wheeled around and found Grand Cleric Elthina walking toward her. "The Maker is always with you."
"I'm...I did not know what he was planning...I didn't want all this death..."
"I know dear. If it had not been for his friends we all would be dead."
"But you are dead..." Elthina reached out and touched Leigh's hand. Her warm skin made Leigh gasp and fall to her knees. She covered her mouth and began rocking back and forth. The older woman knelt next to her and wrapped her arms around her.
"Shhh, child it is alright."
"How?"
"As I said the Wardens got all of us out of the Chantry before it..." Pain etched over the woman's face, but it was replaced quickly by an expression of warmth. "They put us all on a ship and sailed us here."
"I...I'm so sorry."
"I will miss my home, but the Maker has pointed me to a new path. You."
"Me?"
"I was given the scrolls that account the lives of Andraste's daughters. I was also told you are host to one of them." Leigh's eyes went wide.
"Do you believe the scrolls?"
"At first I did not, but faith is more feeling than fact. The more I read the more it made sense. The Warden Commander told me her account of finding the Urn of Sacred Ashes. The feeling of this being right became stronger. It is hard to believe some of the things instilled in you as a child are wrong."
"I know, believe me I know. I have seen things that defy all that I have thought was real."
"May I...will she speak with me?" Pash stirred and agreed to speak with the Cleric.
"She would like that. I just have to warn you it is a little unnerving to see. Please don't be afraid."
"I am ready." Leigh closed her eyes and relented control to Pash. The red cracks flashed over her skin making Elthina give a tiny gasp. When it all done Pash opened her eyes and turned her head toward the Cleric.
"Your Grace."
"Are you...I'm not sure how to address you."
"Leigh calls me Pash. That will do. I am sure you have questions. I will answer what I can."
"What was she like?"
"My mother? She was strong and kind. Wise beyond her years, her faith unshakable even at the end. She knew much more than my sister and I ever would."
"I would like to hear your account of what went wrong. Why everything is not as it should be." Pash stood and helped the Grand Cleric to her feet.
"We'd better get comfortable. It is a long story." The women went to a secluded corner of the keep and talked for hours. It gave Leigh's mind a much needed rest even if her body was not getting the same benefit. Ethlina listened intently, asking questions when they rose to her mind. Pash answered what she could or deemed safe to answer. There were things some mortals were just not ready to hear. As the hours passed the sun began to rise promising a new day.
OoO
"Ash?"
"In here Alistair." The king entered a small room off of his own and found his wife playing with their son. "He got so big while I was away."
"He missed you."
"You have no idea how much I missed both of you." Duncan Theirin played happily with his golem doll while sitting in his mother's lap. The boy had his father's features and his mother's dark blue eyes. Alistair smiled seeing his family happy and together again. "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For leaving you alone against the nobles and Orlias. I know it could not have been easy."
"I survived, but Orlias is out for blood because of what happened at Chateau Haine. Funny thing is they think I had something to do with it."
"The Empress is just upset you didn't marry her."
"I didn't want her. There is only one woman for me Ash and that is you."
"I love you."
"And I you. So what do we do now?"
"We plan and close our borders. This war will swallow Thedas whole and I for one have had enough of war to last ten lifetimes."
"If we cut off trade Ash..."
"We have the dwarves and the elves to trade with. I know many ways around it and we have Isabela and her contacts."
"You do think of everything."
"I try my love. We will call the Landsmeet and get the nobles on board."
"I just hope your silver tongue can sway them or we might be living up here permanently and you know how much a hate the bloody cold."
"Trust me."
"Haven't I always."
OoO
Varric sat next to the fire in the common room. He was joined by a few of his old friends and some new ones. All were waiting for Anders to either come out of it or the worst case pass on. Bethany was curled up on Cullen's lap trying to sleep. Her worry for her sister etched all over her face.
"Sunshine you should go lay down."
"I tried. Every time I close my eyes I see..., let's just say I don't want to be alone." Cullen's hand smoothed out her hair trying to be a comfort. His gaze met Varric's and the dwarf just shook his head sadly.
"So no change then?"
"No, and it is not looking good. Every day that passes there is less of a chance he will come back."
"He has to. Leigh...she won't survive losing him."
"I know Sunshine. I saw it at the Gallows she just shut down. I …..." Leigh stood in the doorway having heard everything. Her arms were crossed over her chest and her eyes narrowed.
"Is that what you all think? That I will go to pieces if he doesn't wake up."
"Sister..." Leigh held up her hand to silence her younger sibling. Leigh opened her mouth, but shut it quickly. She turned on her heels and left the room hearing the others call after her. Her hand covered her mouth to stop the inevitable bout of morning sickness that was hitting her. She found an open balcony door and made it to the edge before her heaves overtook her. Once she knew her stomach was empty she slide down to the ground and wrapped her arms around her knees, bringing them up to her chest.
"Their right, I am a mess."
"Leelee?"
"Out here Carver." Her younger brother came and sat next to her. Leigh leaned up against his shoulder and shivered a bit.
"Your going to freeze your bum off out here. Bethany told me what happened. They are all worried about you."
"I know, but Maker I am not made of glass."
"If you had seen your face at the Gallows after Meredith died. You looked like you were...gone. I don't even think you realized I carried you to Isabela's ship."
"So that is how I got there."
"Yes, the last time I saw you like this was when Papa died. You were strong for us, but I saw you when you thought I was asleep. My strong, stubborn sister looked so broken and lost. It scared me, like it did at the Gallows. We are all here for you. You will never be alone Leigh." His hand took hers and gave it a warm squeeze. "Come on sister you need to go in and rest."
"I need to go check on him first Carver. I spent most of the might away."
"Why?"
"I was talking to the Grand Cleric."
"Ferelden's Grand Cleric?"
"No, funny thing that...it seems Justice warned the Warden Commander of what Anders was planning and she got everyone out of the Chantry. He did not murder all those people Carver, he just destroyed the building."
"Holy Maker, so...do you know what that means Leigh?"
"It means the man I love is not a monster...wait..."
"What?"
"It might be the reason he is not waking."
"His guilt?"
"Precisely." Carver pushed her forward and went with her to the room Anders was laying in. Wynne had come in to check on him and was sitting with Merrill. "Wynne?"
"You must be Hawke...Oh my, I remember you."
"Which time? The little cabin in the forest or Ostagar."
"Both dear. I see you found each other again."
"Yes, but it took a while. How is he?"
"He is fading...I am afraid...he is giving up." Leigh took a shaky breath and nodded. "If he does not wake by tonight his body will fail."
"Carver Take Merrill to get some food and rest. Wynne and I need to talk."
"Come one Merrill, they made a nice stew for lunch. Plus Varric has been wondering where you are."
"If your sure lethallan."
"I am, you need to rest." When she was sure the others were gone she shut the door and turned back to Wynne. "I need to be able to reach him in the Fade, in his mind or any which way I can. I need your help to do it."
"Not knowing where he is or if he is even still in his body it would be risky and might...no dear I am sorry."
"Might what?"
"Blood magic."
"Not going there."
"Smart girl. Hawke stay with him, brace yourself for the worst. I am truly sorry." Wynne left without another word and Leigh slide herself on the the bed next to Anders.
"You can't leave me like this. Please, please come back to me." Leigh curled up next to his still form and rested her head on his chest. The slow sound of his heart told her she was running out of time. "Dammit Leo, wake up!" She lay like this for a while and no change in him. "Pash please you have to help me." "I can't, he has to want to live. I can't not choose that for him." "Then help me find him so I can get through to him he has things to live for." "You can do this yourself. You are a Somniari." "Just be my anchor then, and wish me luck." Leigh steeled herself and put her hands on either side of his face. Her forehead touching his, she dug deep into her mana and used powers she swore to her father she would never use. Her will reached out to Anders' and tracked it so she could find him quickly in his mind. Since his spirit and body were weak she had to take great care to be gentle.
She found him sitting in the middle of a group of dead men. One of which she recognized as the man Rolan. His hands were covered in blood and he was shaking. She moved slowly so not to startle him and noticed Justice was chained to the ground. Another shadow crossed over her view, but she could not make out who it was. It stalked around Anders and growled.
"Every Templar deserves this fate, you can not escape it. You are a coward for hiding here."
"Then I am a coward at least you won't be set free on the world."
"You and Justice have tried so hard to keep me in check, but you failed. Once you murdered those people in the Chantry you became mine." Leigh could see Justice straining against his bonds, but they were too tight.
"Do not listen to him Anders. Release me and I can help you fight him."
"It's over Justice as long as I keep him trapped here he can't hurt any one else." The demon chuckled darkly and grabbed Anders by the hair.
"You think that your death will hold me and take me back to the Fade? You die and I take over your body. I wonder if that pretty little woman of yours will notice your gone." Anders lunged at the demon, but even here he was weakening.
"You will not touch her!"
"I bet she will enjoy my company much more than yours." Leigh could not listen anymore and took the opportunity to strike. A well placed stone fist hit the demon square in the shoulder sending him reeling away from Anders.
"You know it is rude to take about a lady behind her back Vengeance." Anders head snapped up and saw her standing against one of the trees in the vision. Her eyes glowing and her expression cold as she stared down the demon.
"Leigh?"
"You got to traipse around my head, now it is my turn to traipse through yours."
"If you kill me pretty thing you kill them too."
"You have no idea what I am, do you demon?"
"Your are an annoyance nothing more." Leigh stretched out her hand and wrapped the shadow in red tendrils of magic. With her other hand she melted the bindings on Justice.
"It is time for you to go demon. Your not welcome here."
"I am a part of him now, he is a murderer."
"No he isn't. Grand Cleric Elthina is alive and well as are all the other people that were inside that Chantry thanks to Justice." Anders stared wide eyed at his lover hoping she was telling the truth. Her gaze met his and he saw she was. A wave of relief spread over him. "You have no claim here not be gone or I will make you." Just to get he point across she tightened her magic bindings around the demon. "Last chance."
"I would see him dead before I give up to you." Leigh cast a fire spell and hurled it at the writhing shadow. Her other hand reached back for Anders sending a pulse of power through him. Out of the corner of her eyes she saw the color return to Anders' face, but he still look so weak.
"You can not have him demon." Vengeance snarled and thrashed against his bindings. The fire she had thrown was eating away at the demon. Anders screamed and fell to the ground writhing as did Justice. Leigh cursed and extinguished the fire. "Let them go now."
"Or what? I have all the control fool. I die, they die. There is no getting rid of me."
"Pash?" "Anders and Justice are too weak to survive Vengeance's death." "Any way to strengthen them?" "The only way I know is...no Leigh it is too dangerous to try." "Tell me." Leigh listened as Pash explained her plan. She knew the risk, but she had to try.
"Why would you want a half dead mage when you could join your strength with me?" Anders and Justice both snapped their heads up to stare at Leigh.
"NO! Leigh don't."
"Silence mage, what do you propose mortal?" Vengeance practically salivated at the prospect of having her power. Leigh hoped his greed got the better of him.
"I let you in and you leave them alone. Together we can free the mages and bring about a blood storm the likes this world has never seen before." Vengeance smiled and stepped closer to her.
"You are a much better match for me. Your power would be a great asset, but they will try to stop us." The demon pointed to the two men on the ground.
"They will not interfere, but you will have to break your bond with them before you can join with me." The demon was so enthralled by the prospect of joining his power with Leigh's that he broke the bond with Anders and Justice hastily. He did not notice Leigh ready a spell til it was too late. With the bond broken she did not hold back. The spell she let loose shook the ground in Anders' vision. The bodies that had been laying at her feet incinerated in a instance. Vengeance let out a pitiful howl before disappearing completely. "Idiot."
"You...tricked him?"
"Demons are stupid love. Their lust for power overrides all other thought in their tiny little brains." Leigh held out her hands to both Anders and Justice helping them from the ground. "Are you both alright?"
"I am fine Hawke, but...Anders is fading."
"I know, that is why I am here. You need to wake up love. Your body is giving out."
"Maybe..."
"If you say it is for the best I will smack you. You are not a murderer. All the people in the Chantry are alive. I have spoken to Elthina myself."
"But what I tried to do...I was willing to destroy all those lives. Why would you want to be with some one who would do that?" Leigh sighed and waved her hand. The scene around them changed to show a encampment and mangled bodies strewn around it.
"I did this. I showed them no mercy even as they begged for it. Some of these men where innocent. It was their leader I wanted to hurt, but I could not tell the difference through the hate and the pain. I know how you feel, how you felt when you decided to do this. This war needs leaders and I can't do this alone. I don't know what it is like to be a Circle mage. I can't help those so damaged by the abuses, but you can. This is our war, please don't make me fight it alone. Please don't make me have to raise our children alone." Her expression broke the last bit of resolve he had to let himself slip away. He cupped her cheek and leaned his head against hers.
"I would be an utter fool to leave you Leigh."
"Then come back to me. Wake up!" Her voice shook the vision and Anders felt it fall away. He could feel Justice in his mind settling back where he belonged. Then the dull ache hit him. His body felt stiff and weak. The light from the candles hurt when he opened his eyes, but the sight in front of him was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. Liquid silver eyes stared back at him full of love and relief. "Welcome back to the land of the living." He opened his mouth to speak, but his throat was too dry and his lips cracked at the effort. "Hush love, rest." Leigh stood up and felt a wave of dizziness, but she kept her footing long enough to grab a glass of water. "Take small sips. Your body has been deprived of this for over a week." After a few sips he found his voice.
"How long?" It came out raspy, but clear enough for her to hear him.
"Almost three weeks, two of which we were at sea."
"Where?"
"Ferelden, up in the mountains on the Coastlands. Soldier's Peak I think I heard them call it." He nodded and took a few more sips. Leigh helped him sit up a little better so he could take a few bites of bread. "The King is here and an old friend of yours from the Circle." He raised and eyebrow at her in question while still chewing his food. "Wynne."
"Who else is here?"
"Everyone, well except Sebastian." A small twinge of sadness passed over her face as she said his name. Anders moved his hand to cover hers and gave it the best squeeze he could.
"I am sorry love."
"It was his choice. He chose to walk away because I wouldn't kill you." Leigh's eyes went wide with horror at the thought. "If I had listened to him...Maker."
"He thought I was guilty."
"I know, but..."
"I'm still here."
"Yes you are and so help me I intent to make it stay that way. You need to rest Leo and so do I. I haven't slept much in the past three weeks."
"Leigh." His voice came out stern, but lacked the edge it should have. He knew full well she spent those three weeks watching over him. "You should not have..." The sound of a small joyous giggle halted his words. The door to their room had been left open just a crack, but it was enough for a stout little blonde toddler to rush in.
"Duncan get back here!" The boy ran and hide behind the other side of the bed before his mother could get in the door. "Hawke I am so...Anders, thank the Maker your awake!" Leigh knew the woman's voice, but the armor threw her. The armor she wore was that of the Warden Commander and Leigh was pretty sure the woman in front of her was the Queen of Ferelden.
"Your Majesty?" Another tiny giggle sounded from behind Leigh and the small boy peered out from over the bed.
"Mommy Queen." Ashlyn sighed and picked up her little boy.
"Yes Duncan mommy is the Queen. Forgive me he is very active and his manners are none existent." Anders smiled and shook his head.
"If he is like you Ash then Thedas better watch out."
"Funny, at least your injury did not hurt your bad sense of humor Anders," Leigh cocked her head to the side and was thoroughly confused. Anders gave a weak laugh that turned into a cough.
"I'd have thought you would have figured it out by now love. Raven and Queen Ashlyn are one and the same."
"That...would explain a lot."
"Sorry for the deception, but most people think the Hero of Ferelden is dead. It was one of the only ways I could see to stay with Alistair."
"Why stay a Warden then? I mean I know that you can never truly stop being a Warden, but why keep fighting?"
"It is in my blood. My family has always defended Ferelden. I also wasn't very keen on having Orlesians tromping around with no rules to go by."
"She came out of retirement so to speak when all the Orlesian Wardens were killed at Vigil's Keep." Duncan started pulling at some of the feathers on Anders' robe that was hanging on the chair.
"Feathers!"
"Duncan no."
"It's alright Ash,"
"He is into everything." Leigh smiled softly and patted her stomach.
"I guess I have that to look forward to."
"But yours will be doubled."
"Good thing I had practice running after my siblings."
"You will have plenty of help with them I assure you. Up here you both are safe. Other than the my Wardens no one knows about his place. It was lost for hundreds of years before we found it."
"Please tell me that creepy blood mage is not here anymore." Ashlyn gave Anders a sad smile.
"Avernus is still alive Anders."
"Bloody hell."
"Who's Avernus?"
"A two hundred year old Warden blood mage." Leigh's jaw fell and she lost her words. "He was the one who sent that package you intercepted your first year in Kirkwall."
"How did you...nevermind how has he lived this long?"
"Blood magic and stubbornness. He is a bitter old man, but I have a great deal of respect for him after what he has done for me."
"Ash what did he do?"
"He found a way for me to have a child. With Alistair and I both Wardens it was...I can't dwell on it now I have my little miracle."
"Mommy I'm hungry."
"My very hungry miracle. I swear he got the Warden appetite. I will leave you both to rest and will make sure you are not disturbed for a while. When you are both up to it we have much to plan and discuss."
"Ash...I can never thank you enough.."
"Your very welcome. I told you when I recruited you Anders I never leave a man behind. Now rest. We will speak later." Anders let his body slip back down into the bed and Leigh followed suit. Her head resting in the crook of his neck as their fingers intertwined.
"How are you feeling?"
"Sore, but nothing a bit of rest and strong magic can't fix. Leigh...I should have trusted you, but I wanted your hands clean of it."
"Yes you should have, but I understand. You wanted to protect me."
"Yes, like you have always protected me."
"If I remember you have saved me many times too my love. We are in this together and have been since you walked back into my life. Everything of me is yours."
"What happened to not being a clingy lover?" Leigh's head snapped up and she glared at her lover.
"I lied."
"I was joking love. I told you I never want to lose you."
"And I told you that you never would. I love you with all my heart Anders."
"Mo Aman Cara."
"I will never get tired of hearing that." She snuggled back into the crook of his neck and let her eyes close. She slept deeply letting her body relax for the first time in what seemed like months. They were safe for the time being and she had Anders back from the brink of death. For a brief second before her mind opened to the Fade she thought of Sebastian. She prayed he was safe, but she also hoped he never found them. If it came down to it she would have to kill him and it would break her heart to do so. Only time will tell if she would ever see him again. Leigh felt Anders' arms wrapped around her and she let go of her thoughts. She was safe, she was happy. That was all that mattered.
These next few chapters are going to jump around a bit so please bare with me since I am now in uncharted territory. Thanks again to my reviewers and those who have put me on their favorites and watch lists. I would not have made it this far without your support and kind words. I hope you all continue to enjoy this. I still have a ways to go.
Raven