"My Lady," I hear Montee's gentle voice whisper, bringing me from the depths of sleep, back the brightness of reality.
"What's the matter?" I ask. I sound alarmed and pull the bed covers up close to my chest. I almost forget that Dorme is the only handmaiden of mine who knows of my pregnancy.
"See Threepio has announced word that a Jedi has arrived to see you." She says softly but with a look of concern.
Color rushes to my cheeks and I tell her I will be out in a minute. From the second she leaves the bedroom, I fly out of bed and hastily throw on a large, green robe Dorme set out for me the night before. Moving faster than I probably should, I try to dress as quickly as possible to see my unexpected visitor—though I already have a hunch of who it may be. The mere thought brings a smile to my face that breaks my sleepiness like the morning sunlight breaks into my apartment windows.
The robe is a very elegant piece, lengthy and voluminous, which hides my pregnancy flawlessly. Not that I need to hide it for Anakin, however. There is a thick purple strip of fabric that wraps around my belly, which adds striking contrast to the color pallet. Under the deep, low cut neck line rests a large, intricately beaded piece of jewelry that is simple yet noticeable against the mass amounts of fabric in this ensemble.
I choose not to worry about my hair, letting it fall down casually in a curly mass. He won't care. He'll still think I'm beautiful.
I walk out into the sitting room of the apartment to find someone even more unexpected than Anakin standing, peering out of the window and across the city skyscrapers.
"Obi-Wan," I say with a welcoming sigh though his visit sends an alarming chill down my spine. "Has—" I'm about to ask if something may have happened to Anakin, but when I realize the suspicion my sudden concerns would bring, I safely finish with, "Threepio offered you a drink?"
"Senator, it a great pleasure to see you again. I must apologize for coming at such an early hour. I didn't mean to wake you, and I don't mean to alarm you by my presence either." He answers, ignoring my inquiry on Threepio.
Suddenly a frown overtakes his face and his brow furrows.
"Actually, I've come to speak to you about Anakin. Has he come to see you?" He asks and my heart simultaneously sinks to my stomach, but I refuse to let it show in my face. My years in politics have trained me well.
"Please, sit down," I say, motioning to the couches, and we both walk around and take a seat next to each other.
This buys me some time to muster up an answer. How much does he know about us? He cannot be foolish to believe that Anakin hasn't come here at all in the month that they've been here since rescuing the Chancellor. Besides, I was always told to tell as much truth as possible in my training, especially to a Jedi.
"Yes, he has. A few times. Just to catch up, really. I was very happy to hear that he was appointed to the Council."
"Yes. He deserves it. He is impatient, strong willed, very opinionated, but truly gifted." Obi-Wan expresses, and we both give slight laughs. We both know Anakin too well.
"You're not just here to say hello, are you?" I ask him, looking at him evenly, but with seriousness. "Something's wrong, isn't it?"
Obi-Wan looks at me with a strange smirk. "You should have been a Jedi, Padme."
I manage a small laugh, "And you should never go into politics. You're not very good at hiding your feelings."
He looks away from me, as if he cannot bear to bring concern or worry to my face.
"It's Anakin…He's becoming moody and detached. He's been put in a difficult position as the Chancellor's representative…but I think it's more than that. I was hoping he may have talked to you." He confesses, turning to me as he finishes.
"Is he in trouble again?" I ask, hoping to deviate into another topic.
"No. Well, I certainly hope not. This is more…a personal matter. Has he said anything to you when he came to visit?" Obi-Wan says to me.
I look at him for a moment then answer, "Why would he talk to me about Jedi business?"
I see him study me for a moment. I try to keep my best friendly smile for him. We are old friends and go back to the days of my time as Queen, so the conversation should not be as tense and uncomfortable as it is.
"I'm not blind, Padme. Neither of you is very good at hiding your feelings." He says.
"Obi-Wan—" I try to stop him. I cannot talk about this. I don't want the conversation to go in this direction. I cannot lie to him. He will see through the lie.
But he cuts me off.
"Anakin has loved you his whole life, Padme; ever since the two of you met all those years ago. We've never spoken of it, but I can see it. I could see that you were on his mind all through his apprenticeship. He fought for you on the front lines. He comes home to you after every mission. You make him happy. And for a while I let it go because it made me happy to see him happy."
"Don't give me that look. Obi-Wan I can't talk about this…" I feel heat behind my eyes. I stand up, rising from the couch, walking back and forth just to be moving, to suppress my emotions.
"I don't want to hurt you, Padme. That's not why I came here today. I'm not here to interrogate you or inquire about your relationship." He says to me.
"Then why are you here?" I ask, feeling offended but sounding angry.
I turn to the balcony and notice that he has risen and is following me out onto the balcony as well.
"I know you both too well. I can see you two are in love, Padme. I'm worried about him. I fear that his current.... difficulty…has something to do with your relationship." He says softly, both of us looking at the skyline rather than each other.
I look down at my hands, which are instinctively fiddling with each other. After a long moment, I look back to the neighboring buildings and say, "What do you want me to do?"
"I'm not asking you to do anything. This is not a meeting of a request. I just want you to be aware of Anakin and keep his best interests at heart. I'm sure that you are well aware that the two of you cannot be together if he has intentions of staying part of the Jedi Order."
I have no reply for him. Does he think we haven't thought of this already? Does he think I haven't spent sleepless nights worrying for months about what trouble our relationship can bring for the both of us?
"I just can't talk about this. I'm sorry." I say simply. If he could read my emotions right now, if he could see the chaos swimming through my head, maybe he would understand.
"Padme, I'm not telling the Council about any of this. I…I hope I didn't upset you. I'm sorry to burden you with all of this. We're all friends. I care about both of you…" He trails off. I can feel him looking at me, but I cannot meet his eyes with mine.
I don't reply to him right away. It isn't until I hear his footsteps walking back into the apartment and away from me when I call back to him.
"Thank you, Obi-Wan."
When he gives me no reply, I turn to him and say with watering eyes, "You love him too, don't you?"
He stands at the door to the apartment, arms buried within his cloak, trouble written across his face.
"Please do what you can to help him." He says, and turns to leave before I can say any more.
I turn back to the city skyline. In the far distance I can see a clearing where the Jedi Temple stands proudly. Time is moving faster than I want it to. Anakin hasn't come by in almost two weeks. I understand we have duties to attend to, but it is times like these when I need him most.
I try to shake my emotions from my mind. I will be meeting with Senators for another discussion about the Senate this afternoon and cannot have my focus and logic blocked and distorted by my emotions. After all, Anakin doesn't seem worried or troubled by our emotions when he meets with the Chancellor.
I'm beginning to loose my husband. I'm losing the Republic. And my willpower, which was once so strong and impenetrable, now wans.
The morning sun continues to rise.