My head is already pounding by midday. The visit from Obi-Wan bothered me more than I should have allowed it to. I try to clear my head of the troubling thoughts that his conversation left me with.
Obi-Wan is our friend. He would never jeopardize us. He just wants to help us. I repeat over and over in my head, although it brings me no quick relief.
Dorme brings the time to my attention and I realize that I have no time to get dressed in anything different. Fortunately, Dorme is a virtuoso at dressing me for such occasions. She merely places the hood of my robe over my causally hanging hair, applies a reasonable amount of makeup, and adjusts a few jewels and the purple band across my robe to make my ensemble look more formal and presentable for my audience of colleagues.
Before long, Threepio comes in and announces that several delegates have arrived.
"Senators," I say with a smile, keeping my head still, and hoping the sheer size of my green robes will once again fool my colleagues of my hidden secret.
"Hello," Bail Organa greets, bowing his head and moving to the side to allow Mon Mothma, along with Fang Zar, Chi Eekway, Giddean Danu, and Bana Breemu to walk inside the apartment.
They all mutter greetings to me as they enter.
"Please, take a seat." I welcome, motioning to the yellow couches in the center of the apartment.
I sit in the center of one, and Mon Mothma and Chi Eekway sit to my left and right respectively. The other Senators sit on the couch that faces us, and Bail remains standing. By the way he already begins pacing back and forth, I assume he is content without having a seat on the couches.
"Threepio, will you fix some drinks for our guests?" I ask my golden protocol droid. It's an attempt to be a welcome hostess, but to also keep him from hearing too much. Even though he is merely my servant droid, I still feel cautious about the amount of ears that should be hearing our discussions.
Before any of us can begin talking, it is the blue, Twi'lek Senator, Chi Eekway, to my right who begins, "I am very grateful to be included here. Speaking for my own sector, of course, we have noticed the strange events going on in the Senate. I can tell you, many other Senators are becoming nervous of the Chancellor indeed. The new governors are arriving with full regiments of clone troopers. They call them security forces, however, we are beginning to wonder if they are protecting us from the Separatists, or the governors from us."
She has a sense of wariness and shakiness in her voice. This is news to me. The thought of governors feeling they need to be protected from us is troubling. It sends a chill down my spine and I get horrible images of Senators being interrogated at gunpoint by these troopers.
Bail hands me an electronic document reader, I explain the displayed article aloud to the group.
"This article has information saying that General Grievous has been located and that Jedi are already moving against his position. This could mean that there will be an end to the war in a matter of days."
"Yes," Bail begins sounding skeptical, "and then what? How do we make the Chancellor withdraw his powers and his new 'special forces?'"
Threepio arrives with a tray of drinks in narrow, clear glasses. He maneuvers around the room and offers each Senator a drink, one by one.
"How do we stop him from deploying more troopers into all of our own systems?" Giddean Danu asks, rejecting a drink from Threepio at the same time.
"It is an acquired taste…" Threepio trails off and moves on to offer another guest a refreshment.
Senator Danu's point strikes interest in me. I also want to make sure my home planet, Naboo, will return to a peaceful state. I long for a day where I will not see stark, white clone troopers patrolling our natural, decorated streets of Theed.
"We shouldn't have to make him do anything. His emergency powers should only last the length of the war. That was the agreement when he was granted the powers from the Senate." I say, trying to sound reasonable.
"Correct. But it becomes difficult when Palpatine himself is the only one who has the power to determine when the actual emergency is over. Making him do that is where our problem lies." Bail explains, his hands folded behind his back.
Senator Eekway shifts herself to face all of us and says, almost pleading, with honesty, "I know many Senators willing to go to those lengths. I know many in my sector and others who are ready and willing to make him surrender his power."
"Threepio, why don't you go muster up another round of refreshments for everyone?" I say to my protocol droid, closing the document reader and handing it back to Bail. I am still weary about certain things being said around a particular number of ears.
"Senator Amidala, I fear—" Chi Eekway begins, but I cut her off before she can continue.
"Threepio, if no one wants anymore drinks, you are dismissed and can power down for a while. Please tell Montee and Elle they are also dismissed. That will be all." I command to him. I don't mean it to sound as firm as I it comes out, but before we begin talking about anything too seriously, I want to make sure this is completely confidential.
"Of course, Mistress Padme. Is there anything—" He begins.
"That will be all." I insist.
He does not reply and instead marches off, away and out of sight.
I look from Senator to Senator when I know anyone uninvited can be out of earshot and say, "Imposing any kind of force on the Chancellor is a very dangerous step for us. We cannot let this turn into another war."
"Absolutely. That is the last thing any of us want. None of our systems are prepared for that. We have no military on Alderaan. I cannot speak for other systems, but I can say that we are negotiators. We fight with politics, not soldiers. Political solutions are our only option." Bail explains to me.
This is true of Naboo, too. Yes, we have some soldiers within the palace, but they are not equipped to fight off the battalions of clones that the Republic could use against us. That was our problem during the Blockade Crisis.
"We're hoping to form an alliance in the Senate to stop the Chancellor from further subverting the constitution. That's all. That is the purpose of our petition. With the signatures of two thousand Senators, we believe—" Mon Mothma explains to clarify any troubling thoughts in me.
"But we would still have less than we need to stop his supermajority. We will need more numbers. Even with two thousand Senators, he can still make any amendments he wants. I am willing to present the petition to the Chancellor, but I am losing faith in our readiness, or even the Senate's ability to put an end to all of this." I retort.
I don't mean to sound so doubtful or negative, but I fear that we will need more people on our side if we plan on taking such a drastic step. To blatantly go against the Chancellor like this will be futile without a real, powerful threat. We need more than two thousand signatures.
"I know a Jedi I feel it would be wise to consult." I say after a long moment of silence.
However, my comment is followed by even more silence, which is strange for this group of Senators, considering how vocal Bail has been about this in our last meeting.
"That would be dangerous." Bana Breemu says, sitting across from me. She looks at me with a sad expression, but continues playing with her extremely long, metallic blue fingernails.
Mon Mothma shakes her head at me in agreement to Bana Breemu, "We don't know how the Jedi fit into all of this."
"I only wish to discuss this with one—one I trust." I insist, hoping someone will agree with me and see reason to include another source.
I could see the doubt written all over Giddean Danu's face, but to my surprise, he shares the same views as me when he replies, "Going against the Chancellor without the support of the Jedi is risky. If we are going to openly oppose him, we may need their support…their moral authority."
A small smile of appreciation shows on my face and he returns it with one of his own. I hope this will be enough to sway the others to let me tell Anakin about some of this.
"The Jedi aren't any happier with this situation than we are." I add.
"The authority of the Jedi rests in war missions. They too have become irrelevant here on Coruscant. They have no power in politics anymore." Bana Breemu adds.
"But it's only one I wish to tell. One I know we can all trust absolutely…" I find myself pleading now, but my voice trails off when I come to the realization that I'm not speaking about Anakin.
When it comes down to it, yes, I want to tell Anakin about all of this. But I already have. And he dismissed me before I could even hint at my involvement with any action at all. Yes, I wish to tell him about it, but there's another whom I know I want to tell and include in all of this. When it comes down to it, I cannot trust Anakin, but I can trust another Jedi: Obi-Wan.
It's Obi-Wan who I know I can trust through and through above all else. It's Obi-Wan who I know will keep this secret and help us restore democracy. It's Obi-Wan who can see the fault in the Chancellor's actions, not Anakin.
When I brought this up to Anakin, he accused me of being a Separatist, and dismissed it without another word, hurrying to get to a meeting with the very man we are plotting to go against.
"Patience, Senator." Chi Eekway shakes her head.
For the first time, Fang Zar speaks up, stroking his wiry beard, "We have so many Senators on our side, surely that will persuade the Chancellor. Yeah, we cannot block his supermajority yet, but it may be enough to show him that opposition in the Senate is growing."
I say nothing. I feel defeated, despite Senator Danu's supporting comments. No one else seems to think including Obi-Wan in this could be a good idea.
"When you present the Petition of the Two Thousand to the Chancellor, things may change." Bana Breemu says, again fumbling with her fingers.
"But will they change for the better?" Danu challenges her.
I notice that Bail and Mon Mothma exchange weary glances back and forth. Despite the alternatives I suggest, they are still the originators of this group and have the authority to make the final decisions.
"Let us see what we can accomplish in the Senate before we include the Jedi." Bail adds, adding some sort of finality to the subject.
Many of the Senators sit in agreement with him. I find myself feeling a sense of betrayal. I still cannot include Anakin in any of this, and now I find myself fixated on the illusion that Obi-Wan is my only hope in this matter.
I breathe a sigh of defeat. Was it his unexpected visit this morning that has him on my mind? Is that why I immediately went to him when I thought of Jedi that could be of help to us?
I feel the baby kick from within me. I suppress a smile, seeing as it would alert everyone in the room to my secret.
The baby's kick does remind me of him, however. It reminds me of all the troubling things going on. I hate myself for associating the baby with the devastation surrounding the galaxy. I should be celebrating my pregnancy and anticipating its arrival. Instead, I sit here among my colleagues, conflict about my career, marriage, and associations with everyone who was close to me.
Who can I trust anymore?
Who can trust me?
I look around at everyone shuffling in their seats and beginning to leave, as the meeting comes to a close.
Less than two months, I think to myself as I place a hand to my belly, feeling the kicks that keep coming.