First of all, I would like to apologize for the delay in getting this chapter to you guys. We had a medical emergency with my mother and have been at the hospital most of the week. I fear we aren't out of the woods yet, but while she's home and resting, I thought I'd try to write something.

I hope you all still enjoy! Just like always, I don't own Big Bang Theory.

Chapter 8: The Wildebeest Implementation

"Golly, Penny. Your whimsy is boundless."

Pulling her brand new pink heels out of their box and placing them onto the coffee table in front of her, Penny smirked at the woman next to her. She knew any joke she made would impress Amy. The woman worshiped the ground she walked on. In a slightly creepy way, Penny had to admit, but none the less, she couldn't help but feel flattered at times. With all her crazy ideas, Penny knew Amy would always be there for her and had her best interest in mind..even if she took it overboard most of the time.

Brought back from her thoughts, Penny overheard Amy talking on the phone, to who she assumed was Bernadette. She vaguely remembered hearing the word "wildebeest". Reaching for her wine glass, she tried to focus in on what exactly Amy was talking about now.

"Calm down," Amy spoke into the phone, "Everything is going to be okay." Placing the palm of her hand over the phone, she turned to Penny, "We may have to kill her."

Rolling her eyes, Penny said nothing, but stood and headed for the kitchen, just as Amy turned the speakerphone on. Bernadette's squeaky voice filled the room. Her anxiety about being a spy was clearly building up.

Yeah, I definitely need more wine.

As the slightly bitter liquid slid down her throat, she heard Amy make a comment about 'another bathroom gabfest'. Penny couldn't help but feel sorry for Amy and her adolescence. Never getting to have a sleepover or a girl's night. Never getting to be part of a clique. Never even having friends really. It was one of the main reasons Penny refused to let her 'bestie's' quirks make her runaway, screaming.

"I suppose I could get them back to talking about Leonard going to India to meet Priya's parents."

Penny suddenly choked on the sip of white wine she'd just taken. Coughing, she felt her heart start to race. "What?!" She spit out, hurrying to the couch to become a part of the conversation.

"They said something about going there this summer." Bernadette spoke softly.

"What are they getting engaged!?" Her previously racing heart felt as if it had stopped as the words fell from her lips. They couldn't be.

She listened as Bernadette responded. Her eyebrows shot up when she heard the word 'astronaut'. She allowed her two friends to banter back and forth for a few seconds, before finally butting in.

"Okay, just forget about the astronaut-"

"Architect! Where would you have met an astronaut?"

Rolling her eyes once again, Penny ignored Amy and continued barking her order through the speaker of the phone. "Just find out what's up with this trip to India." Please, She almost whispered. She had to know. She needed to know if the sinking feeling in her gut was right.

Hearing Bernie's cry about not being able to continue, Penny almost felt sympathy for her. Almost.

"Don't you quit on us!" She yelled into the phone. Going into this night, Penny hadn't even wanted to be a part of this stupid spy mission. This piece of information changed everything though. She was more invested now than ever.

Once the phone call had ended, Amy turned to face her. Penny noticed her hesitation. She knew there would be questions, her jealousy had been obvious. She could no longer hide behind her walls that she had worked so hard to build. And honestly, right now, she didn't mind. Right now, she could feel her eyes stinging with tears, feel her heart practically breaking. Right now, what she needed more than anything was a friend to comfort her, tell her everything would be okay.

I need Leonard.

Penny knew she was even foolish to think that. She had pushed him away, avoided him as much as possible. She had broken his heart and caused him to run into the arms of another woman. She had lost the privilege of his love, even his friendship, a long time ago. Yet she couldn't make this feeling go away. She tried to every day. Crawling into an empty bed each night, reminding herself that she had slept alone for years before him, she could do it now. She would tell herself over and over that the Penny before Leonard had only allowed the company of a man when she wanted it, never truly needing it. She had never needed anyone before and there was no reason for her to start now, just because of some relationship.

Yet, despite all of that, Penny would still find herself reaching for the red velvet bag that sat on her nightstand, pulling out the snowflake, remembering the smile on his face as he stood before her. She would remember the butterflies fluttering around in her stomach, the tingles that ran throughout her entire body.

And, instead of willing herself to close her eyes and go to sleep, she'd find herself climbing out of bed and bending down beside her dresser. Opening the bottom drawer, she'd pull out the black Star Wars shirt he once wore. She'd stare at the material, thinking back to the night long ago when she had tried to sit through all of the Star Wars movies with him, desperately trying to stay away, because she knew how much it meant to him. She'd flash back to that one night, laying in bed, the night she'd quoted Yoda. She'd recall the smile that spread across his face, the ways his eyes lit up. She'd never been happier than in that moment. And then she'd remember what happened next. The declaration of his love met with her horrible 'thank you' response.

The rest of the night would be spent scrutinizing, that if she was sure she felt so strongly about him then, why had she hesitated? Why had she been too scared to reciprocate his words? Why had she pushed him even further way. Eventually, she would fall asleep, only to be haunted by the same memories in her dreams. No, this was not just some relationship like she tried to convince herself. This was so much more.

Coming back to reality, Penny's watery eyes connected with Amy's questioning ones. The words, 'I'm fine' nearly slipped past her lips, but she knew anyone could see past that. She was not fine. She was scared.

"He can't be engaged, Amy," She whispered, "He can't."

'They're not getting engaged!'

Penny stared at the text message for probably the millionth time in the past hour since Bernadette had sent it. The message had been followed by another, asking if she needed to come over. Penny guessed Amy had told her about the breakdown earlier. She could understand her concern, and almost said yes, but she knew the night's events had worn both of them down. Politely rejecting her offer and assuring her friend that she okay now, Penny had done the same to Amy. Reassuring her time after time, that she was indeed better now, Penny had walked Amy to the door, but not before giving the woman a tight hug. "Thank you," She had whispered. With a smile and a nod of her head, Amy had left.

Now Penny lay in bed. It was only half past nine, way too early for sleep on any other night. But Penny was truly exhausted, emotionally drained.

I guess crying for 30 minutes straight will do that to you.

Relief had flooded through her the moment she had received the text. She really would've have known what she'd do if they were to the point of getting engaged. Penny knew, deep down, that that time would come eventually. She knew she'd have to prepare herself for such a time, but for right now, she smiled and snuggled deeper in the blankets covering her.

Her eyes felt heavy and just as she was beginning to close them, her phone lit up, beeping, signaling another text message. Penny frowned, reaching out for the object, expecting it to be Amy or Bernadette checking up on her. Her eyebrows shot up when she read Leonard's name.

'So..an architect, huh?'

Sighing, she closed her eyes, really wishing she had just kept her big mouth shut. Jealousy had gotten the better of her. Opening her eyes and looking at the message, she bit her lip, contemplating how to proceed. Should she continue with the story or come clean?

Another sigh escaped and her stomach did a somersault as she typed out her message.

'No. No architect. It was all just a misunderstanding.'

There. Not a lie, but not the whole embarrassing truth. She held her phone close, waiting on his reply. When her phone beeped again, she stared at his one word text, slightly confused.

'Good.'

Good? That's all? Penny furrowed her brow. She begged herself not to overthink his response. Before she could ponder any further, her phone lit up again.

'Goodnight. Sweet dreams (: '

She couldn't have stopped the smile stretching across her face even if she wanted to as she typed out a 'goodnight' in return, making sure to add a smiley face as well. This was the most interaction they'd had in weeks. She quickly came to the realization that she wanted more than that. She had tried to accept this no longer being friends thing. It definitely wasn't working. She wanted the funny banter back, the sweet hugs, the mocking Sheldon together. She wanted it all back. She was never one to intentionally break up a couple, and she wouldn't start now. She would just have to find ways to still see him somehow, some reason to talk to him again. He obviously still cared, as well. She could picture him, laying in bed, phone in hand, so nervous about texting her. She knew he would be overthinking the architect comment, but never thought he'd ever bring it up to her. He apparently needed to know about this just as bad as she had about the probable engagement.

With one last glance at the message, Penny shut off her phone and laid her head back down, this time on the pillow that was once Leonard's. She was fully aware sleep would not come easy now, with her mind running full speed ahead with all sorts of ideas that involved 'running into him'. The smile never left her face.