Scroll 5: Knowledge and Forgiveness.
Written by: Drea Knight Commander of the Order.
I write this account so that someday what happened to my sister, to Justice will never happen again. The Divine is not what she seems. I was blind for so many years. I hated my own sister for being what she was, a mage, but most of all I hated her for being stronger than me. She had the courage to stop the Archon when I sat there crying like a babe. She never backed down from anything even when it came to fighting against her own sister. Mercy truly was the best of us and now my sister is gone. Burned like my mother by the faithless. I have taken her children and made sure no one would even find them. One was sent to the North to live with the barbarians in the Anderfels, the other to the South to run with the Wild Ones. In time I hope one of her line will return and stop this madness should I fail. I will lay here to account of what I know and how my sister and I found our way back to each other.
The weeks had slowly ticked by as I waited for news from Justice. He alone I trusted to bring my sister back to face the Divine. Through the years since I had lost my mother Justice had been my only real friend. We both lost our families to the deplorable act of mages, both of us skilled in heavy armor and swords. We became like siblings. He had been anchor, my conscious. The longer he was gone the more I thought I had sent my friend to his death. I threw myself into training my men to keep my mind from going to the worst case. After three weeks I received a visit from the Divine. As devote as I was, the woman always set my wits on end.
"I see the new recruits are taking to their training."
"Yes, Your Holiness. I am quite pleased with them." I watched her cross my quarters and begin to pick at some of the few trinkets I was able to keep from my childhood. One she paid particular attention to was a carved piece of ironwood in the shape of hawk. She ran her fingers over it and was silent for a few minutes. I stood stark still hoping she would just leave so I could go about my day.
"I have not seen Ser Justice of late. Is he ill?" I tried hard not to flinch under her stare, but her dark eyes seemed to look right into my very soul.
"No, I have him out on a errand in the Wilds. He should be returning within the next week."
"You sent him to find the malificar, did you not?"
"He volunteered to bring her back."
"I see. As long as she lives the Chantry is in danger. The lies she spews taint the hearts of the lost faithful. Their absence weighs heavy on my heart."
"Mine as well. She will be brought in to face justice Your Holiness. You have my word." The Divine smiled at me and patted my shoulder. A small shiver ran down my spine, one I hoped she did not notice.
"I trust your word Drea. You have always been the most faithful of my knights. Your mother would be proud. I am sorry that the one we hunt is your own blood. It saddens me that Our Lady's own child would speak vile and blasphemous things against her mother's own words."
"Her traitorous tongue shall be silenced soon."
"See that it is. Please inform me as soon as your Knight Captain returns."
"As you wish." I watched her leave and let out a shaky breath. I had to take my mind off of Justice's absence and my own growing unease with the Divine. I made my way to the Circle tower to make sure my men were doing their assignments as I had them. What I found upon my arrive disturbed me greatly. Six of my men had a mage on the ground and were beating him violently. The mage made no effort to fight back as my men continued to accost him. I stalked into the crowd and pulled two of my men back. "What is the meaning of this?!"
"Commander...we...this mage stole from the kitchens."
"Stole what? A dagger, a pot or anything that could be used as a weapon?" Ser Peter, one of my first knights looked at the ground and shook his head.
"He stole some apples."
"He stole some fruit? You are beating a man to death over a few pieces of fruit! Maker's blood, I know I trained you better than this. We only take to action if they are possessed, use their magic outside of their classes or if they take arms against us. All of you are on report, and I will dealing with your punishments later. Go to the barracks and simmer down."
"Yes, Commander." I watched them go and could not help the anger surging through my blood. I offered my hand to the badly beaten mage and hoisted him to his feet. I could see one of his eyes was already swollen shut and his lips were split. Blood matted down his hair making discerning the color impossible. His breathing was also raspy which concerned my greatly. I slowly took him to the healer and waited while the man worked his craft.
"His ribs are broken Commander, so are his nose and jaw. I must request more lyruim so I can heal him properly."
"I will go and get it for you Sorn. Ease his pain for now."
"Commander, was he...did he attack your men?"
"No, he did nothing wrong. I do not condone this Sorn. The Templars will be dealt with I swear to you." The elderly elven mage just nodded sadly and poured more healing magic into the beaten mage. I rushed myself to the alchemy room and took as many potions as my arms could hold. Guilt ripped through my gut. If I had not been so preoccupied with the absence of Justice, this would not have happened. I handed the lyrium over to Sorn and stood against the wall out of his way. After what seemed like hours the older mage pushed away from the cot and made his way slowly to where I was standing.
"He needs rest, but should be right as rain in a few days."
"Go rest yourself Sorn. I will make sure he is taken care of."
"Commander this is not the first time the knights have done this."
"What?"
"While you were away they..." Sorn looked to the ground and shook his head. I gently took his hand and placed my other on his shoulder.
"What did they do Sorn?"
"You know of the young woman Talia?" I nodded, she was a young mage I myself had brought to be taught here to control her magic. "They assaulted her and later than night she...hung herself."
"Why was I not told of this sooner?"
"I feared that it was by your order. More and more I have been healing mages who will not tell me how they were injured." My stomach turned sour and I knew tears were threatening to fall from my eyes. I did not trust mages, but would never mean them harm if they have done nothing to warrant it.
"Were you threatened?" He did not have to tell me I could see in his eyes fear. I let out a long sigh and let go of his hand. "I know I said for you to rest, but I ask that you stay with him a while longer. I have to stop this now before someone else is hurt. This is not how I trained these men. I will not stand for this type of abuse." I left his side and headed to the barracks with violence on my mind. I kicked the door open and made my men jump. I had trained all of them and knew that if I had to I could beat them all in hand to hand. Most of these men were newer to The Order and were not handpicked by me. My men, the ones Justice and I personally trusted were out across Thedas setting up new Circles. These men in front of me were young, most orphans and slum rats. It would explain some of their actions, but not all. "Sit down, now." My voice was colder than a winter's night.
"Commander before you..." I moved faster than they thought I could. The one who spoke I think his name was Ellin was on the ground my hand at his throat. I might not have been as large as most of my men, but I come from barbarian stock. I was taught to surprise you opponent to gain the advantage.
"I did not give you permission to speak. This is not for debate, now go sit before I run your sorry hide through." He nodded quickly and scrambled the his feet upon my release of him. The others looked just as frightened of me as he did and also conceded to my wishes. "Why am I hearing about Talia's death now?"
"She killed herself Commander, she sinned in the eyes of the Maker." I stared one of the others in the eyes and he flinched. My mother always said I was a good judge of character. I was always able to smell a lie a mile away, I really hate liars.
"Taking what is not yours or given is also a sin in the eyes of the Maker. That's why we flogged the thief. Commander we can't treat these mages like people. They are cursed, sinners. Magic shall serve man not rule over him." I turned to the other little piss ant who dared to speak and sneered.
"Don't you dare preach to me Narth. I have heard Andraste's words from her own mouth while you and your family suffered under Tevinter rule. I was with her army, I fought to see use free of the magisters. The line you quoted is wrong. Magic is to help mankind, but never rule over it. All who suffer under another are granted peace at the Maker's side for all eternity."
"But Commander that is how it is written in the Book of Chants."
"Show me." One of them handed me a very large ornate book and I skimmed through the pages. So many things were wrong or reworded. I had read all my mother's writings and these were not her words. These were not what she meant. Anger welled in me. Someone had changed them. Someone had dared to change my mother's words. "This is not what the Lady wrote or preached."
"This is what we were taught before being sent here. Mages have no rights, they are a curse from the Maker for our sins. It is a Templars' duty to make sure they know their place." I growled and threw the book into the fire. My blood burned with anger at my mother's words being twisted. The younger Templars stood gaping at my actions, but I did not care. I was more than livid and planned on voicing it to the senior members of the Chantry.
"You are all confined to these barracks until I sort this out. If I so much as hear you go near any of the mages I will personally flog you all." They nodded and kept silent. I spun on my heels and made my way to the Grand Cathedral. The warm sun did nothing to ease my ire. I normally loved taking the long walk from the Tower to the Cathedral, but today it just made it worse. I never noticed just how much gold and labor went into building the bloody thing. Part of me wondered how much blood was used to place the Divine in her current position. I had fleeting memories of my mother chiding the woman for her over zealousness. Now I was starting to understand why. I did not wait to be announced as I stormed into the woman's chambers. She hid a expression of shock quickly and rose to greet me.
"Drea is everything alright?"
"I just found my men beating a mage for no other reason, than the man flinched two apples from the larder. When I questioned them they preceded to tell me that it was their right to treat mages however they saw fit because it was written in the Chant."
"I...I am not sure why you are here talking about it to me dear. It is written that way, just as Andraste wanted." I took a swift step towards the woman and saw fear in her eyes.
"You might be able to lie to the rest of the faithful, but do not play this game with me. I am her daughter, I know better than most what she wrote and how she wanted her words to be used. I do not agree with abusing mages just because they happen to have the affliction of magic. It makes us no better than the Imperium."
"If we do not act and show them they are powerless now, they will rise up and take control again. Surely you see this."
"I see many things and I am not sure if I can condone them anymore. I will not let anyone, not even you, sully my mother's words."
"I will be retraining my men and letting go the ones who will not do as I ask. I agree mages must be trained and kept separate from normal people. What I do not agree with is making their lives miserable. They are not beasts, they are people." The Divine gave me a condescending smile and patted my arm.
"Drea, in time you will understand, for now things must be this way. I pray it will not be forever, but I must do the will of the people and they want the mages to be locked away. They don't care if a few die or are abused. I put you in charge of my Templars because you are fair minded and strong. I will allow you to fix what you want in your command, but I fear you are fighting a losing battle." My words ran dry and I just shook my head. I did not wait to be dismissed, I knew the conversation was over and I would not be placated. I went back to my room and sat on my cot. The tiny figurine of the hawk caught my gaze and tears began to well in my eyes. This small trinket was part of a set. I wonder if my sister still had her figurine of the dove. Clutching the smooth carving in my hands I lay back in my bed and began to cry.
OoO
After I composed myself I went to find Sorn and the Knight Lieutenant who I hastily left in charge upon my departure. I found them in the main room of the library. Sorn was sitting back in a chair while Kith, the Knight Lieutenant was pacing. The sound of my metal footfalls must have gotten his attention. He stopped and let out a sigh of relief at my presence.
"Commander...thank the Maker." Sorn stood and gave a small smile to me.
"Knight Commander the mage you saved is recovering nicely. He wishes to thank you when you have time."
"Of course, Kith why do you look like mouse in a cat house?"
"The men you punished this morning are calling for a audience with the Divine. They want you removed from leadership."
"Why, because I reprimanded them?"
"No, because they said you burned a copy of the Chant of Light. I...you didn't, did you?"
"I did, because it had lies written in it." Kith turned white as a sheet and sank into a chair.
"Holy Maker, Commander...this will end badly. You trained me, I trust you, but..." I placed a firm friendly hand on his shoulder and knelt in front of him.
"Kith do you know who I am? Do you know who my mother was?" He swallowed hard and nodded.
"That is why I trust your word Commander. But if the Divine asks me to..."
"She won't, because we are leaving." I turned to Sorn and gestured for him to come closer. "I want you to gather those you can. We will not be able to get them all out of here, as much as I would like to. You know the ones who will follow and who are trustworthy. I will not leave you here to suffer like this. I have been blind and I am tired of stumbling in this darkness."
"Drea? Are you sure about this? It will mean a death sentence for you." I gave the elder man a smirk.
"Sorn, I had a death sentence on my head before the time I was five summers old. It does not bother me at all."
"Your mother would be proud of you."
"I doubt that. I...I tried to...Maker I tried to kill my own sister."
"If I know your sister she has already forgiven you." I looked at the elf with wide eyes and he gently took my hands. "I watched both of you grow up. I trained your sister to use her magic."
"Why didn't she tell me she was a mage?" Sorn sighed and shook his head.
"I told your mother that it would be best to keep it quiet til Mercy could control her powers. I feared if it was known that someone might try to hurt her or even you since you two look so much alike. Mercy was told to tell no one, not even you till the time was right."
"That time never came."
"No it did not, but there is still time for you and your sister to make peace."
"Maybe." I let go of his hands and turned back to Kith. A thought had come to my mind. "Have the Templars had their lyrium potions today?"
"Not yet, I haven't mixed the potion."
"Sorn do you have any deathroot or nightshade?"
"Commander are you planning to poison the knights?"
"No Kith, just make them a bit ill. It will stop them from being a problem, at least for a little while."
"Then we should hurry and make the potion. I don't relish the thought of having to fight any of the men." Sorn led Kith into the potion room, while I went back to my room. I closed the door and began to pace. Poisoning my men was something I never thought I would have to do. Also taking a group of mages out of the Tower was also something that never crossed my mind. In all I knew we only had over a dozen mages here, most turned themselves in to us when the sweeps started. I knew of a few who would want freedom more than the others, but those were ones I shuttered at the thought of them free again. My mind raced at all the possibilities and then it fell to the mage who was beaten earlier in the day. I quickly left my room and went to see him. I found him standing looking out a window. He heard the clang of my armor and turned to face me.
"Commander." Without the swollen face and blood smears I could finally tell who this man was. Justice had been the one to bring the man in. From what I could remember he had told me this mage had put up a fight when he was finally cornered.
"Sorn told me you were almost recovered from..." He cut me off before I could finish, part of me was glad for it.
"The old man is a gifted healer and I have had much worst beatings I assure you. Comes with being a magister's slave." I could just nod my head at that. I was born free more or less. Staring at him now I could see he was handsome. Short straw colored hair graced his head and his hazel eyes had a twinkle of mischief in them. "I want to thank you for stopping them. It...I was surprised you would waste your time on a mage."
"Waste my time?"
"It is not like anyone will miss me if they did happen to kill me. Mages are curses on their fellow man, am I right?"
"No...you are not a curse." He cocked his head to the side and took a step forward closing the distance between us with ease.
"Really that is not what I was told when they caught me and dragged me here. That's not what they told that girl when they raped her and forced her to kill herself. If we are not cursed, then please tell me why I am here?"
"I..."
"You can't, can you? You bought into the Chantry's way of thinking. Andraste fought against mages so let's lock them up, kill them if they resist. You should have let your men kill me Templar. It would have been far kinder. At least I would be free." His eyes blazed with hate and it struck the very core of me. I had allowed this. I had trained people to use the talents that came so naturally to me. I alone did not have to use lyrium to fuel my talents, they were just there.
"What is your name?"
"What does it matter?"
"It matters."
"Zander."
"Zander, I made a terrible mistake. I trusted the Divine to follow Andraste's teachings and she changed them to fit her own fears. I...I will not let anyone else suffer under this abuse. I am giving you the chance to be free, but I need to know that you will listen to me and not turn on us as soon as we are clear of here."
"This is a trick, isn't it? Get us to trust you then take the opportunity to kill us. Do you hate us that much?"
"I don't hate you or anyone for that matter, I want to make this right, but I can't do that if you don't trust me." His hand snaked out and grabbed my throat, pinning mt to the wall. I could see pure hate in his eyes. The guilt I had been feeling rose at the look in his eyes.
"You know I could just take you right now, let you know what we feel every day we are forced to be here. Maybe you should know fear Templar. Have your life stolen from you, your virtue, like they did to Talia. No one would be able to hear you scream if I put a Glyph of Paralysis on you. You would be powerless."
"Wh...what is stop...stopping you?" His hand dropped from my throat and he turned away. I could see him shaking like a leaf in the wind. When he turned back to me I saw regret and loathing in his eyes.
"Why weren't you afraid?"
"I grew up fighting Zander. I have seen people I cared about killed right in front of me, my mother included. Fear stopped me from doing anything to save her. I swore that I would never let fear rule me again. I also have a knack for reading people and you are not the type to violate a woman. I have watched you with the other mages here and you have been the picture of valor and chivalry."
"Do you mean what you say? Will you help us leave here and let us be free?" The hope in his eyes was clear. He wanted freedom, he wanted a life of his own making. Not a life forced on him. I had become no better than the Archon and it sickened me. I had to set it right even if it killed me in the process.
"You have my word that once we leave Val Royeaoux, you and the others will be free. I will protect all of you till I know you are safe."
"The others, they will not trust you easily."
"I don't blame them for that. This is why I have asked Sorn to come with us. Knight Captian Kith and I will be the only Templars. You will have us out numbered."
"Will you arm us?"
"Yes."
"Maker, you have more guts than I thought you did. You know as well as I do we will turn on you." I smiled at him then.
"I have faith that you won't. If Kith and I die you will have no one to defend you. Most of the mages here are old or children. How long will you last? The other Templars will just out right kill you. I am giving you a chance to live freely again." I took off my gauntlet and brought my work dagger to my palm. I had done this once before as a child with my sister. It was a blood oath, unbreakable, a permanent reminder. I let the blade run the width of my palm and watched as the blood rose from the cut. Zander's eyes went wide and his hand began to glow with healing magic.
"Are you insane? Why are you..."
"It is a custom of my people. We make a cut and swear an oath. Some go as far as mixing the blood of two or more people to bind them to the oath."
"Your people?"
"The Alamarri. The barbarians of the south."
"Your one of Andraste's people." I could not help the smirk that graced my lips. If only he knew, but now was not the time to tell him. I made a fist with cut hand and let the blood coat my flesh. I let myself fall to one knee in front of him and swore my oath.
"I swear on the ashes of my mother that I will not let any of you under my charge be taken or killed. I swear to protect all of you with my life. I have allowed this atrocity to go on for too long. I failed to remember Andraste's words and let my own guilt and hatred blind me. I will not allow that to happen again." My blood threatened to over flow on to the floor if it had not been for his healing spell. He healed it to a point that only a fine scar could be seen. I smiled at him and took his hand when he offered it to help me to my feet.
"Do I have to say something to bind this oath?"
"No, it is mine alone to uphold."
"When do we leave?"
"Tonight, after evening meal. Go and pack whatever you need, but pack light. Clothing, potions the weapons you will get once we get out of the city." He left the room and I went back to find Kith. He and Sorn had the potion all ready now it was time to distribute it. Kith suggested it should be him to do it and I agreed. Sorn left us to gather those he trusted and said he would meet us at the entrance after dinner. I spent the time packing what few belongings I held dear. The hours sped by and our exodus drew near. I prayed to the Maker I could pull this off.
OoO
We left Orlais under the cover of darkness. We took less then a dozen mages with us, most of them barely into their adulthood. Sorn was the oldest and Tam, a young man from Nevarra was the youngest at the tender age of seven. Sorn told me the boy's mother had marched him into the Grand Cathedral and told the priests there her son was cursed and left him there. The boy was barely old enough to walk then. His magic had grown since that time, but his demeanor had stayed the same. The boy was kind, naïve, and always tried to be of help. Most of the mages called him the embodiment of purity and innocence. I found that Zander was very protective of this boy. If fact he was protective of all of them. He helped Sorn sooth the fears of the others at our presence. Most of the mages did not trust Kith or myself. I did not blame them in the slightest. I was not sure I trusted them either.
We spent the next few months moving from place to place. When winter hit we lost two to frostbite and one to the wasting. Kith and I did our best to find food and to keep peace between the mages and ourselves. I had wished I had Justice with us. His presence was surely missed, as was his hunting skills. I was trained to be an archer, but it was not my strongest skill. The cold and lack of food were not the greatest danger to us though. The Divine was not happy with our defection and sent her Seekers after us. Normally we could stay on step ahead of them, but with the winter it was harder. The loss of the three mages made the others question their chances for freedom.
I made the decision to head south into homeland. The weather was harsher there and the people were more sparely populated. It was strange coming home again. The last time I was here I had tracked down my traitorous father and found my sister. I had to shake the thoughts out of my head to keep them from crushing me. Sorn had been a Maker send through the months. He kept me sane, he kept the mages from turning on us. His knowledge of herbs and healing where put to the test time and time again as winter turned to spring and we were hit by a whole new set of hardships. Spring heralded the rainy season of the Wild Country. With the rains come flooding, the chance for rot to set in if we did not change our clothes and boots regularly. We camped in caves and ruins, on nights the rain was absent I would go and stare at the twinkling stars wondering if my sister was near by. I had a feeling she was here in this country, but had no desire to even try to find her. What would I say to her? After what happened the last time we met and the fact Justice was gone I knew we would never be able to forgive each other. Our mother would be ashamed of both of us, but even she could not have foreseen all of this. The price of freedom came with the blood of the innocent.
"Commander?" I turned to see Tam standing by a tree. His feet bare and mud covered. His innocent demeanor made me smile. Even after all he had seen in the Tower and out here in the past months he still was so innocent.
"You should be sleeping Tam. We will be making a long journey up the mountains tomorrow." He took a few steps closer to me and stood at my side. He looked up at the moon and raised his hand up as if he was trying to touch it. A small hint of magic filled the air and I watched him make a symbol over the moon. "What is that?"
"It's a spell to take hurt away. You look sad."
"I am just thinking."
"Why did you save us?" In all the months we had been traveling none of the other mages have ever asked me that. Here it comes from the mouth of a babe. I knelt down on one knee so I could look him in the eye.
"Because you all are worth saving. What the Templars were doing to you was wrong. We should have been helping you learn to use your magic, instead we treated you like you were a blight on the world. I am so sorry Tam. I never should have let this happen."
"It is not your fault. That mean lady she is the one to blame."
"Mean lady?"
"The one in the robes, she came to visit you right before we all left the Tower. She was twisted and ugly." I stared at the boy. The Divine was older than myself, but she was far from withered and ugly. Could he see something I could not?
"What did she look like Tam?"
"Her eyes glowed green and her skin was dark, bumpy. She had two horns coming out of the top of her head and her teeth were sharp and yellow. I always hid when she would come to the Tower. She frightened me."
"She can't do anything to you now Tam. I won't let her." The boy smiled and pointed over my head toward the moon. Small sparks of light began dancing around the glowing orb. The sparks shifted in color and looked like they were raining down on our heads. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I held out my hand and let the glowing dust land on my hand. It tingled a bit like someone was tickling me with a feather. Tam giggled and danced around catching the falling sparks. I laughed and continued to watch him play under the moon.
"I have never met anyone as purehearted as that boy is." I jumped at the sound of Zander's voice. I was so enthralled by Tam I did not hear him walk up behind us.
"Nor have I."
"The creature he described...it was a pride demon."
"He thinks the Divine is a pride demon?"
"Or possessed by one. Tam can see evil. He knew which of us would turn to blood magic and he also knew which Templars to avoid. He told me that only three of you were...how did he put it, nice. Two of which are here with us now."
"And the other?"
"You second in command. The one who brought me in. He did everything in his power not to hurt me when he caught me. I gave him every reason to beat me into submission, but he didn't."
"Justice was a very honorable man."
"Was?"
"I fear I sent him to his death. He was hunting a mage on my orders. He should have returned week before we left."
"Was it a blood mage he was after?"
"N...no, it was my sister." His eyes narrowed at me and I looked away.
"So you would put you own sister in the Circle? Is she a blood mage, a magister?"
"No, she...you would not understand." I saw Tam staring at me as tears started to run down my cheeks. His eye full of pity was all it took to bring me to my knees. I let the anguish take hold. I always thought Mercy was the monster, but now I see I am. I don't know how long a sobbed, but the feeling of little hands on my cheeks made my eyes snap open. Tam's hands were glowing again, but this time I felt the magic flow right through me. The tears stopped suddenly and the weight of my guilt began to ease.
"If you were evil Commander this would not work. You need to forgive yourself."
"I don't know if I can Tam. I have done so many things that...this is why my sister is leading our people and not me. She was always the stronger of the two of us. I ran...she stood up to the Archon and I ran. I am no better than my father."
"Knight Commander what are you talking about?" Zander's voice was no longer angry, but concerned. He knelt next to me and met my gaze.
"I told you I was one of the Alamarri, what I did not tell you was a member of Andraste's family."
"So you are related to her, your sister and you are the only living relatives. Is that why she is leading your people?"
"We are the last of our family as far as I know. My brothers all died in the war. Mercy and I are...we are..."
"The daughters of Andraste." I raised my head to the sound of Sorn's voice and saw him standing with the other mages near the edge of the clearing. Kith was also there, but he already knew who I was. This was not a shock to him. "Mercy is the eldest and Drea is the youngest. Compassion and courage, her most prized children."
"Sorn, you can't be serious? She can't be Andraste's daughter."
'She can and she is. I was there the day of her birth. I was the one who helped her mother bring her into the world."
"Maker, does the Divine know who she is?"
"Yes."
"Why were you not in charge of the Chantry? How could you let someone else do this?" The anger had returned to Zander's voice. He gripped my shoulders and shook me. "If this was not your mother's plan the how in the name of the Maker did you let this happen?"
"I hated the magisters. They took my brothers from me, my mother. Seeing my sister use magic...I thought her no better then they are. They forced us to watch as one by one my mother's most trusted were burned. They saved her for last and laughed as she started to scream. I sat there crying and shaking like a coward, but my sister...she made the Archon put our mother out of her misery. It was her doing, not the compassion of the Archon. He would have watched my mother burn with no care that she suffered. When I saw what Mercy did I ran. I was never told she was a mage and I am her twin. I felt betrayed, so I ran. The Divine found me, took me in. I thought she was right in what we did. Mages were dangerous, they were susceptible to demon possession and had to be locked away for their own safety as well as the common people."
"And now?" I stood up then. I did not want to cower on the ground like a child. I looked every single one of the mages in the eye, praying they saw my sincerity.
"Now I know I was very wrong. I swore to you I would keep you all safe from the Templars, I will keep that promise."
"If you are sincere Drea, I have a place we could go where they all will be safe." The old elf had a glint in his eye almost like he had been waiting for this.
"Where?"
"If we head south instead of north up the Frostback's we will find a place called Haven. It is the last free town there is as far as any of us know. Mages are not shunned there and Andraste's true teachings are embraced."
"How do you know of this place Sorn?"
"Your sister told me of it. She found me in the Fade after she found out I was still alive. She...I never told her I was in the Circle, she just knew I was. We have kept in contact these past few months."
"Did you tell her I was with you?"
"No, I did not think it was wise. Drea even if you and she can not...it would still be safer for us and for you and Kith to take us there. You would be unburdened and we would be free."
"Then we head south come day break. I suggest you all go and get rest. I will keep watch for the night." Kith opened his mouth to argue, but I cut him off with a glare. He just sighed and followed the others back to the camp. Zander was the only one who stayed behind.
"You need rest too Commander. I will keep watch."
"I am fine."
"The circles under your eyes tell me different and you are barely able to walk a straight line. I've watched you these past few months, you have barely eaten when we stop to make camp, you don't sleep the full night and you have neglected to tell myself or Sorn you are injured on more than one occasion. You are killing yourself, albeit slowly."
"I would think this would please you. The mighty Templar down on her knees weeping like a babe."
"I do not take pleasure in seeing someone in pain Drea." The sound of my name coming from his lips was strange, but I would have to say pleasant. "I know you and Kith have both risked everything to free us, keep us safe. Without either of you we would be dead."
"I doubt that, but I do thank you for the kind words. You are a strong leader Zander. I have seen the way they all listen to you, even Sorn. You don't need me or Kith."
"What if I do need you? What if I have come to respect you and your courage? You did not have to save us. You could have run and escaped on your own. It would have been far easier."
"My mother...she said that easy was never the right path. If it was easy all the time then we would forget to thrive. I wish she was here now. The Divine would never have been able to do what she has done if she was still here."
"It is up to you and your sister now to stop her."
"Perhaps, or just to Mercy. I...have already proven that I am not worthy."
"Go sleep." I know the look on my face was that of a child being scolded. He smiled at me and pushed me toward the camp. I gave in then, as my body screamed for rest.
"For a few hours, wake me." He shook his head and laughed.
"I will think about it."
OoO
We traveled for over a week south hampered by foul weather and steep terrain. I watched Kith carry young Tam on his back and had to smile. Tam had endeared himself to all of our hearts. Also in that week I had found Zander to be hovering closer to me. In the past week we had talked more than we had in the past six months. We mostly talked about my mother and the war. He tried a few times to bring up my sister, but I would always change the subject. Again today I found him at my side.
"Has Sorn told you how much farther we have to go?"
"He said it should be another three days travel up those mountains." I pointed to the set of rocky hills to the west.
"Maker's breath, poor Kith will have to continue carrying Tam. The little boy's legs won't make it up those steep paths."
"I don't think he will mind. Kith is a strong man."
"I guess it helps you both took to wearing lighter armor too. The Templar armor looks like it weighs as much as a baby bronto."
"You have no idea." We continued to converse as we walked. Later we would forgive ourselves for not being more mindful of our surroundings. The first arrows struck both Zander and I from behind. I felt blinding pain in my thigh and saw Zander pitch forward with one in his side. My scream alerted the others and I saw Kith hand Tam off to one of the other mages before he was riddled with arrows. I turned and saw the Seekers closing in on us and screamed for the mages to run. Standing up on shaky feet I pulled my shield off my back and unsheathed my sword. I put myself between the Seekers and the retreating mages.
"Surrender Knight Commander and we will spare you and the mages you have in your charge." The voice I knew was that of the Divine's highest ranking cleric. I let out a growl and shook my head.
"We will not let you take them back to be abused. The Divine is not following the teachings of Andraste. She twisted them into her own will. If you come any closer I will kill you."
"The Divine knows these mages are controlling you Commander. She forgives you and wants you home."
"No one controls me! Not them and certainly not her!" The cleric let out a sigh and motioned to her men to take aim.
"I am sorry for this, but you leave me no choice." She turned to her men and ordered them to shoot us. "Maker have mercy on your soul Commander." I watched in horror as arrows sped by me and flew into the path behind me. Tam had refused to leave Kith's side and was trying to heal him. One of the arrows hit it's mark in the sweet boy's heart and he was dead before he hit the ground. Rage took over me. They had killed an innocent child, a boy who would not have ever hurt a soul. I charged them then with all the strength I had left. I saw Zander rise to his feet and flames wreathed his hands. He too had seen them kill Tam and something in him broke, as it had in me. I hacked and slammed my way through the first round of men. Zander hit the archers with a fire storm the like I had never seen. The smell of burnt flesh sickened me. The screams of the dying men triggered a memory of the death throws of my mother and her leaders. I froze for a second giving my foe a chance to take a swing. I felt the sword cut through my armor. I cursed and slammed my shield into the man's face. My side was bleeding profusely and I knew I had to drop the rest of them quick if the mages were to not going to survive.
"Zander run!"
"No!"
"Dammit, do as I say. I will cover you retreat. Take care of the others. Now go!" I did not wait for him to answer and turned back to our attackers. I battled them until my arms felt like jelly and my vision blurred from the blood loss. I prayed that Zander and Zorn had been able to get the mages a safe distance. My time it seemed was up. My legs gave out and I fell to my back in the bloody snow. The cleric stood over me sneering.
"I told her you were trouble. She will thank me for killing you myself. Time to join your mother." I began to laugh at the irony of it all. I had been the one who hunted people, just to become the hunted. The cleric raised her sword to strike me through the heart. I did not close my eyes, I wanted her to see the life leaving me. I don't know how to describe the look that passed over the woman's face. It was a mixture of fear, confusion and hate as a sword impaled her in the stomach. "Impossible!"
"You should make sure someone is dead before declaring victory." Kith was on his feet if only barely. The cleric fell to her knees and let out one last gurgling breath. Kith fell to the ground next to me and groaned. Tam had been able to heal some the the damage done by the arrows, but not much. "Can you walk?"
"I...I don't think so." I heard Kith laugh and then moan.
"Laughing hurts, I always thought that my death would come at the hands of a mage, not one of our own."
"This is my fault, I should never have involved you."
"Drea I wanted to be here. It was worth it." I let my eyes close so the tears would not come. When I heard Kith's breathing get shallow I tried to get to my feet. I had to save him. I failed Tam, my mother, I would not fail him. Blinding pain threatened to bring me to my knees. I grit my teeth and tried to drag Kith up the path. I did not make it far. I fell over and screamed in pain and anguish. I did not care if I died here on this mountain, but I would be damned if I would let Kith pay for my mistakes. I looked down at my side and saw the blood flow was moving faster. My sight went black and I did not hear the voices shouting for me to hang on. I did not feel the hands on my side trying desperately to heal me. All I wanted was sweet oblivion.
OoO
The first thing I could remember feeling was warmth. My body felt like it was wrapped in warm linen. I felt no pain at all. My wound was gone or I was dead and it did not matter anymore. I did not want to open my eyes at all, I just wanted to stay in the warmth forever. Something or someone stirring broke through the cocoon like peace I was in. I felt a hand take mine to hold and I let my eyes slowly open. Warm hazel eyes greeted me as well as a familiar crooked smile. I tried to speak, but my throat was too dry. He placed his finger over my lips to quiet me.
"Don't try to speak yet. I will have someone bring you water." I could not see who he had turned to nor did I care. I was grateful to be alive. My thought floated to what had happened then I remembered I was not alone when I was injured. I tried to sit up out of the bed, but Zander held me back. "Don't your not strong enough yet. We are safe here." The person behind him handed him a water skin and he slowly let me drink. Once I was sure my throat was quenched I tried again to talk.
"Where?"
"Haven, the villagers were waiting for us not to much farther up the path. We ran right into them when we tried to escape the Seekers."
"Kith?" Zander smiled and shook his head. He helped me up to a sitting position and pointed to a bed along the far wall. There lay Kith, still breathing and healed.
"He needs more rest and another bout of healing to get him to his feet, but he will make it." I looked to the other bed in the room and saw a small body outlined with a sheet. I could not help the sob that broke from me. I felt Zander put his arms around my shoulders and pull me to him. "Tam is gone."
"I know...it isn't fair that one so young should die like that. He deserved so much better."
"He is at the Maker's side now and knows no pain. I envy him in a way. He does not have to face the darkness that lays ahead." I could only nod. He was right, but it still hurt to see the small body laying there lifeless when there had been such a wonderful spirit in the boy. "Sorn will be happy to know your awake. He has been worried."
"Where is he?"
"He went with the woman who look oddly just like you." I stiffened in his embrace then. "She too was worried as was Justice."
"Justice! He...she did not kill him?"
"Looks like she didn't. Unless she can make corpses walk and talk." A booming laughter came from the door way and craned my head to peek around Zander's shoulder. There in the doorway stood Justice. I tried to get to my feet, but my legs gave out on me. Zander held me up and put my back in the bed. Justice clucked his tongue and stepped in the room.
"Always was a stubborn woman." Zander laughed.
"I can tell."
"Justice, what happened?" I listened as he told me all of what had happened in the months since I sent him after my sister. Zander had left us to fetch some food for me and I was grateful. My stomach almost drowned out Justice's low booming voice. I continued to listen and looked him over. It was then I noticed the armor. So much like the armor we both wore in the order, but the sword was facing the wrong way. I let my hand reach out to trace the etching and Justice stopped talking. "Where did you get this?"
"It was made for me here in Haven."
"Your here willingly?"
"At first...no, but my eyes have been opened Drea. Mages are not evil by nature. Magic is not a sin. It is a test from the Maker for both sides, those who have it and those who do not."
"She got to you didn't she?" The slow blush that crept up his neck told me all I needed to know. Justice had fallen in love with my sister and that is why he had stayed. "Where is she?"
"She went with a few others to get supplies from the dwarves. She will return in a few days hopefully."
"Who is in charge while she is gone?"
"I am in charge of the defenses here, Havard runs the Chantry and the day to day of the village while Mercy is gone. Most of the people here were under your mother's leadership before...they look to Mercy to be her, but she not. It weighs heavy on her all these lives under her care."
"Just as it did my mother and myself."
"Once you and Kith are strong enough there is something I have to show you."
"What is it?" Zander walked back in with a tray of food and Justice rose from where he had been sitting on the bed.
"When you are stronger. I have a few things I have to take care of . You need to rest." He turned to Zander and whispered something to him. I saw the mage nod and look back at me. "I will be back to check on you in a while." I watched him walk out of the room and I slumped back into the bed. He had changed so much in these months away from the order. He looked happier, younger even than I remembered. The smell of fresh baked bread and a savory soup pulled me out of my thoughts. My stomach gave one more growl as Zander started to help me eat. It would be days before either Kith or I was strong enough to take the journey up the mountain that Justice had planned for us. I was not prepared for what lay ahead. Looking back I don't think I ever would have been ready for what I saw, what I went through.
OoO
We traveled up the mountain three days later till we reached the summit. Seeing the stone temple up here made me uneasy, but I did not let it show. Kith stood at my side and Zander as well. I asked Justice numerous times what we were doing up here, but he told me I would see when we got there. The closer to the temple we walked the more I wanted to run screaming. Dread filled me and I had to will my legs to move me forward. I had been a coward once to many in my life. I did not want to stay that way anymore. I felt a hand take mine and looked up into hazel colored eyes. Zander walked beside me, a concerned look upon his face.
"Are you alright?"
"Yes, just a bit weak still."
"We don't have to do this, we could wait til you are well again." I shook my head and gave his hand a light squeeze.
"I can't keep running away from things. I have to see this through." We walked in silence the rest of the way. Once we were inside Justice finally told us what we were to do.
"This is called the Gauntlet. It tests the faithful to measure their worth." Kith shifted his weigh uncomfortably.
"What will we face?"
"This place will test your knowledge of Andraste, your regret, and your trust in one another. I will be here waiting for you to return."
"What if we aren't worthy?"
"Then Kith you will not be able to go further." Zander stepped forward and scowled at Justice.
"Drea is in no condition to fight anything, neither is Kith. I will not let them do this if there is danger." Justice cocked his head to the side and smirked.
"That is why you are here mage. You will be there to protect them with your magic and heal them if the need arises. This is as much a test for you as it is for them. You do not trust them anymore then they trust you."
"Trust is a hard thing to come by, when all you have ever known is lies and pain."
"You are free now, here you are not shunned or owned. You can work your magic openly."
"This coming from the man who hauled my into the Circle. Who told me if I stepped out of line he would kill me without remorse. What changed?"
"I changed, I let what happen to my family taint my views of people, mage or otherwise. I trusted almost no one and hated mages."
"What happened to your family?"
"A blood mage slaughtered them. I was away hunting in the woods, I came home to find him bleeding the life out of my youngest sister. The rest of my family already dead. I killed him, but the hatred did not ebb. When the Chantry took me in I jumped at the chance to hunt mages when it was offered to me. Now I look back and see I was blaming all mages for the action of just one. It is not a just way to live. This test opened my eyes, made me face my own guilt and pain. I came out the other side cleansed. I offer this to all of you, a chance to shake the weight of the lies we all have been living under." I stepped forward and walked to the door. Kith and Zander hurried to follow.
We made it through the riddles with little trouble. All of the specters asking the questions I knew in my youth. The next test hurt me more than I thought anything ever could. It was a vision of a person who you have failed, at least that is what it was for me. When I saw the figure standing at the end of the dark hallway I wanted to curl into a ball and never move again. I had thought it to be my mother, but it was not. It was Mercy. I ran to her and wanted nothing more than to beg her forgiveness, but when I got to her I could see she was not really there. It was a illusion of her, but it was more than that. She smiled at me and I could feel her love for me, her forgiveness.
"The last time we stood before each other we fought sister."
"I...Mercy..."
"Hush, I was never angry with you. To me there was nothing to forgive Drea. You have to forgive yourself."
"I ran...I failed our mother, but you...you spared her the pain of burning to death. You stepped forward and had the courage to fight the Archon. I am a coward."
"No you are not. You are braver than anyone I have ever known Drea. You knew that the Divine was twisting our mother's words. You had the courage to free the mages under your care and protect them. You covered their escape while you fought the very people who would have killed them. If that does not show courage, then I don't know hat will. We are sisters, you and I share a bond that not even the Maker himself can break. I have missed you more than you will even know. We will see each other very soon. I have so much to tell you, so much to show you. For now you must move on though." I watched her fade away, a warm smile still on her lips. When my vision cleared I saw Kith and Zander standing not far from me with sad expressions on their faces.
"Can you two continue or would you like a few minutes?" Zander shook his head to clear it and Kith closed his eyes.
"We just need a moment." I nodded and tried to shake off the feelings my vision had brought to light in me. Once we were ready we continued. The next room had us fighting shadows of ourselves. My limbs screamed at me as I tried to swing my sword. The shadow of me knocked me to my knees and I barely had time to block her swing. A bolt of lightning shot over my head and hit my shadow square in the chest. I heard it yelp and fall over shaking. I looked over my shoulder and saw Zander with his hands out. Magic wreathed his hands and he let another bolt fly at the shadow. It gave one last shake before disappearing. I yelled out a warning before the shadow of Kith hit him from behind. I rose to my feet and ran at the shadow even as my muscles protested the strain. I let out a growl and ran the shadow through. It fell to it's knees and with a grunt I cleaved his head from his shoulders.
"Zander?" I held out my hand and lifted him to his feet.
"Maker that hurt. Wait where is Kith?" We both turned to see Kith fighting the shadow of Zander. I had to admire his fortitude, but he too was not fully healed. Zander placed a arcane shield in front of Kith blocking the fire ball that was thrown at him. I charged, slamming my shield into the shadow. I stood over the apparition and stabbed downward into it's heart. I did not want to use my cleansing powers just in case any of us needed healing. "Anyone need healing?"
"Commander, thank you."
"Your very welcome Kith, but thank Zander too. His magic saved you from that fire ball."
"You have my gratitude ser mage. What else will this place throw at us?" None of us wanted to answer that. Zander checked Kith over making sure he was alright then came to me. His hands glowed with healing magic and I sighed as it washed over my body.
"This is the second time you have risked your life to save mine. I am starting to think you are starting to become fond of me." I felt my cheeks burn and I looked away from him.
"I promised to keep you safe remember. I keep my promises." His hand cupped my chin and forced me to look up at him. His eyes searched mine. "Zander..." His lips cut off my words and I melted into him, even with my armor on. He broke the kiss and caressed my face.
"It is more than that and you know it." I sighed and nodded. "We still have a way to go and we should not dally here."
"Yes. Kith are you ready?" I heard a small chuckle from my Knight Lieutenant.
"I could go into the next room if you two what some privacy."
"Kith!"
"Sorry Commander." We pressed on and came to the puzzle bridge. It took a few moments, but Kith figured out how to work it. The last test was the flames. To honor the others' modesty we decided to go one at a time. Kith went first, then Zander and I went last. I entered the room and saw the flames halving the room. I undressed and placed my armor on the alter. I took a deep breath and walked through the flames. Once on the other side I ascended the stairs and knelt in front of my mother's urn. Justice did warn me what lay at the end. I closed my eyes and prayed. I asked my mother for forgiveness, I prayed to the Maker to take away my fear. I heard footsteps coming from behind me and I rose to my feet.
"The statue does not do her justice." I turned to find my sister standing at bottom of the stairs.
"Are you real or just another illusion?" She let out a laugh and walked up to my side. Her hand landed on my forearm letting me know she was very real.
"I am as real as you are Drea." I fell apart then. I did not care that I was naked, but my sister took her cloak and wrapped it around me. I began to sob openly, letting all my grief flow away. Mercy embraced me and my sobs became louder. "I told you I forgave you, please don't cry."
"Wait...that was you in the hall?"
"A projection of me, yes. I was afraid to face you till I knew you were ready to see me."
"You were afraid of me?"
"I was afraid we would fight again. I do not want to fight you Drea. Your my sister, I love you and want no harm to come to you."
"I...Mercy I am sorry. I was wrong to hate you, wrong to let them hunt mages. Maker, I taught them how to combat magic. This is all my fault."
"No it is the work of a demon. You are not to blame. Now that you are here I hope we can work together to stop her."
"There is nothing in this world I would like more." She smiled at me and gave me a hard squeeze before walking back to the alter. The fire parted for her and let her pass with no hindrance. When she returned she handed me my clothing and I dressed quickly. I left my armor off and only put on my linen shirt and doe skin trousers. "Thank you for sparing Justice."
"He is a good man. I don't know what I would have done without his skills these past months. The winters here are brutal."
"He loves you, you know that right?"
"And I love him." We slipped into a comfortable silence standing hand in hand looking at our mother's resting place. I leaned my head on Mercy's shoulder something I use to do when we were children. She was the oldest, if only by minutes, but she was still much wiser and stronger than myself.
"This is a sight I have prayed to see, my strong girls together again." We both spun around and then fell to our knees. There behind us was our mother standing in all her glory. He kind smile graced her lips and she reached out to touch both of our hands. "I am so sorry my little ones. This is not the future I wanted for you." Neither of us could speak. We just stared at our mother and enjoyed having her with us again. Both of us knowing it would not last. Our mother talked to us for hours soothing the hurt we both had felt since her death. Her last words are what stuck with me the most. "The demon who holds the Divine is very old. Her power is greater than any of the other of her kind."
"What kind of demon is she?"
"Pride. She calls herself Strife. It is not known to me what spirit she was before her fall. It does not matter now. She hates mortals and hates the Maker even more. She wants to create misery and discord."
"How can we combat her when she has a bloody army on her side?"
"When the virtues stand up against her as one she will not be able to stand. Purity must be protected or all hope is lost. Compassion for one's enemy is the greatest gift one can give in seeking justice. Courage and fortitude are needed to show one's valor in the darkest of times. Above all else faith is needed. Faith in yourself, your allies and the Maker himself. This is the only way to defeat Strife."
Looking back I know now my mother was trying to tell us something, but at the time Mercy and I thought is was just more of her preaching. When the embodiments of the virtues are all present together we have a chance to defeat Strife. Tam was purity in it's greatest form, for who is more pure than a child. Mercy was compassion. Forgiving even her greatest enemy and granting them mercy from her wrath. Justice, well he was what he was named. With those three dead there is no hope for us to beat the Divine now. I can only pray that time will give us back those who can take up these virtues. Losing my sister, Justice and Tam has broken my heart. I thank the Maker for Zander during this past decade of my life. He has shown me what it is to love and trust. Together we have made the greatest gift anyone could ask for a child. I pray her life will not be one of pain and battles, but is of hopes and joys. It kills me to leave them behind, but I must try to stop Strife. I finally know what I am, who I am. I am no longer afraid of failing.
I pray whom ever reads these will find them when the world is free of the influence of Strife and her followers. Pity those fooled by her and pray for their souls. Know that the Maker has not truly turned from the world, he just waits to see if we will turn to him again. Though evil, Strife is too one of his children and he loves us all no matter what we do.
Holy Maker! This chapter so got away from me while I was writing it. Please don't shoot me, I know it is long as hell. So concludes the travel into the past and know I can bring us back to Anders and Leigh. Thank all of you for sticking with me this far even after this novel of a chapter. To all my new followers, reviewers and readers thank you so much and to my steadfast fans much love too. I promise that the next chapter will be no where near as long and have out heroes in it. Okay back to writing I go and hopefully it won't take me another month or more to get the next chapter out.
Raven