I open my eyes and find myself staring up at the bright ceiling of a foreign room. It's not familiar to me at all. It's not the Lake Retreat bedroom. The artificial light that I am forced to stare at hurts my eyes, rather than soothes. The beeping noises from monitors behind me are annoying and irritating.
Obi-Wan is hovering over me. He clears the tears that are lingering in my eyes. When my vision is finally clear enough to see him, the look he gives me sends a cold chill through my body.
It was all a dream. My paradise was a dream. I'm not on Naboo. Anakin isn't anywhere near me. And my twin children are still within me, probably clinging to life, just as I am.
I want to scream. I want to wail and sob and break the monitors, the lights, and the entire room. But I'm so weak. It's a struggle just to turn my head to look at Obi-Wan.
The look he gives me confirms everything. It tells me that Anakin isn't here. Who knows where he is? Who knows if he's even alive?
His eyes tell me that he knows what I've known all along and am finally willing to accept: I only have a few more moments of this precious life, and I'm spending it lying in a foreign medical center.
Finally, after a long moment, he whispers to me, "Don't give up, Padme."
But I already have given up. I've accepted everything and it has led to my death, even though Anakin promised it wouldn't. I've watched as my democracy crumbled into a hopeless, fearful Empire. I've watched as the man I loved turned into a monster by a political leader I've put my trust into for years. I've had to see my friends, allies, and colleagues be persecuted and even killed for crimes they did not commit and a rebellion that wasn't strong enough to suppress Palpatine's rule. It was my wildest nightmare to see these grim thoughts come to fruition before my eyes, and somehow, they all came true.
Life is cruel, there's no doubt about it. But even now, as I'm hanging onto life by a thread, I cannot say I expected for any of this to happen. I never thought I would be betrayed after all the fighting I've done to achieve what I had. All of the fighting, all of the energy, all of the strength I had, and now this; if it were at all possible, the mere thought of my weakened state breaks my heart even more.
I cannot move. I cannot lift my head to see what's going on at the end of the room. I can barely feel the droids lifting my legs high into the air and placing a sanitary shield over my lower body.
The medical droid is speaking to me, but I cannot focus on what it's saying. I cannot concentrate. My breathing gets heavy, and the beeping gets louder, more urgent sounding.
I cry out in pain and it takes more energy to scream than I want it to. I can barely feel a thing, but I know what's happening. I know I'm having my baby now.
"Eesida oido," the droid says to the room.
"Luke," I reply, gasping. Tears leak to the corners of my eyes, and my head turns to the side to catch a glimpse of my baby.
The medical droid brings it over to Obi-Wan, who takes the baby and it's small, temporary blanket into his arms.
"Oh, Luke." I breathe.
He's so small, and so full of life. His eyes are closed shut, but I can guarantee his eyes are Anakin's. My dream told me so.
Acting on impulse, I use all the energy I can find to lift my arm and touch his face. His skin is so soft, and he coos at my touch. His sweet sounds make me smile.
My dream also told me something else, which neither Anakin nor I had expected.
My breathing gets heavy again. A second wave of pain flushes through my body and I cry out once more as the medial droid attempts to regulate my breathing by offering sounds to suggest it's "breathing" with me.
I use even more energy to cry this time. I barely have any life in me. I can tell that the medical droid is probably doing the majority of the work.
After a moment, the medical droid speaks to me.
"Eesida, oiga."
"It's a girl." Obi-Wan says to me, sounding surprised.
"Leia…" I gasp, thinking only of Anakin and his conviction that we would have a girl. His desire to name her Leia leaves me no choice.
The medical droid brings her over to me and her eyes are already open wide. She looked at me so intensely, as though she was trying to memorize my face. I see so much of myself in her already, even though she's only minutes old and it sounds strange to say.
The tears collect at the corners of my eyes. I try to keep my head upright, but it's too difficult. I'm too weak.
"You have twins, Padme. They need you… Hang on." Obi-Wan says to me, trying to keep me awake and alive.
"I can't," I breathe back to him, hoping he can hear me. I feel tired and weak. I struggle to keep my eyes open. I want to see my children for as long as I have.
"Save your energy." Obi-Wan says back to me. His drive to keep me going makes my eyes swell with tears of gratitude. But I cannot cry. I need my vision. I need to see my children.
My breathing gets heavy again and I bring my hand to my neck and reach for the Japor snippet that hangs around my neck.
I pull it off, not caring about how much strength it takes, or the painful mark it must have left in the back of my neck.
I reach for Obi-Wan's hand. When I feel that he grabs onto mine, I press the Japor snippet into his palm. I continue to hold his hand. I need him to listen to what I have to say.
"Obi-Wan," I gasp, barely speaking, but hoping he can hear me, "There's good in him…"
My voice trails off, but I catch my breath and find the strength to keep talking—even if it means I need to sacrifice my vision and close my eyes.
"I know…" I breathe, almost promising to him from the depths of my broken heart what I know is truer than anything I have ever known, "I know there is…still…"
I know there's good within Anakin. I've seen it with my own eyes. I've seen the way he smiled at me in the rolling meadows of Naboo, and the way he's kissed my lips over and over. I've seen the good. No amount of power or control Palpatine can offer him can take that noble, good light from him forever.
I cannot catch another breath and I have no choice but to give myself—Padme Amidala Skywalker, former Queen and Senator of Naboo, a fighter through and through, who united people, and sought for peace and prosperity for all—to eternal sleep.
The beeping fades in my ears until everything seems to go quiet; I feel the strength in my head give as it falls to the side. And through my closed eyes, the room illuminates until I cannot see anything.
White light engulfs my vision.