"Name one person."
"Myself."
I sat there dumbfounded. I didn't know what to say or do. This was the last thing I ever imagined Phil would say. Hell, it never even crossed my mind. Phil seemed to have everything; He was always smiling and outgoing. His friends seemed infinite compared to mine which were far and few between. The combination of those words and Phil's bright demeanor left me in the dark. Was he joking?
Phil didn't even give the situation a second though whereas I was in a whole other world. You could really tell the differences between us in those moments. No matter what, Phil was always calm and collected and in a way, I envied that. Phil stood up and gave my side a gently kick to try and bring me back down to reality. There was only one slight problem with that. I always preferred being in the clouds to facing the world around me. It left me with a better feeling than the doom of fate.
"Oi. Get up. I want to go get food or something. We ditched out before lunch and today is pizza day. I love me some pizza so you're buying."
His words brought me back, but I was more confused than ever. I stared at him blankly, but he didn't seem to catch onto what was puzzling me so. I rolled my eyes, deciding to leave it for now. Obviously Phil talked when he wanted to and not when someone asked him too. I reached my hand up, hoping Phil would take it to give me a pull up. When he did, I was rocketed into the air. A hidden strength he seemed to possess. There was so much unknown in Phil's eyes.
"Are we seriously back to this again? I don't want to hang around with a mute." Phil joked, or at least I hoped it was a joke. It wouldn't be that much of a shocker if Phil genuinely didn't want to be around me. Not many people do. I opened my mouth to speak, but the words ran dry. All I could do was smash my hands into my pockets and give a cheap, uninviting smile. I was expecting him to shake his head, spit harsh words out that would cut the final thread of my dignity, and leave me in the dust, but he didn't. He simply shook his head with a chuckled and wrapped his arm in mine.
"Come on. You're treating me to pizza whether you like it or not. You're gonna escort me there too." His laugh was contagious. Every time I heard it, I wanted to do the same. I wanted nothing more than to feel as happy as Phil appeared. I allowed him to pull me in the direction of the restaurant, our arms still tucked together. The silence was dull, but enjoyable. Normally the silence was enough to tear me to pieces on its own, but with Phil next to me, he seemed to be shield.
Nothing else was said about my sudden lack of speech. Phil gladly ordered for me after a long trial and error of head shakes and nods. I offered out my wallet, but Phil gently declined by pushing my hand away. He was a gentleman in every sense of the word. Every minute we were together, I craved to be more like him. I wanted nothing more than to learn the ways of the Phil.
He let me choose the booth while he waited on the pizza. I sat quietly, looking down and my trembling hands until he came over with two plates. I gave a small and fake smile as I took a bite. I felt horrid. The first person to be semi nice to me in months and I couldn't even talk anymore. I really am just a waste of space.
Phil finished his meal first and watched me contemptly while I finished. I could feel his eyes burning into me, but I didn't feel threatened. A devilish smirk played across his lips as I took my final bite. I wanted desperately to know what that mind was thinking, but it scared me half to death at the same time.
"Well. Since our lunch is now over and you have yet to talk again, I think it's time I get you back to school." Phil patted the top of my hand. Those small movements mocked me, taunting me. You're a child. You're a coward. You can't even talk. What good are you?
I wanted to protest, but my words still fell ill. Without the ability to ask for more time, all I could do was nod. I thought that if I could just stay with him for a bit longer, his demeanor would rub off on me, but that didn't seem to be the case so far. I reluctantly stood up, my hands finding their home again in my jacket pockets as I walked out. I could hear Phil's footsteps behind me, and that was the only thing that kept me moving.
We walked the rest of the way to the school in silence. It was almost the same as before, except this time, my shield was broken. The thoughts were returning with a vengeance and I could only pray that Phil would stop them with a sentence. Nothing.
When the school building was in sight, Phil pulled on my arm to slow me down until he could make his way in front of me. I didn't have the energy or the will to look up at him now. I'd ruined everything because I let one stupid word play over and over again in my mind. Clearly Phil had been mocking me, and now I was never going to hear the end of it. The thoughts were racing but they came to a stop when I heard his voice resonate through the air.
"Dan. I know you don't really want to go home, but I don't really want to babysit you either. Please just say something. Let's go back to my house and have a smoke. We'll relax and you can get some of that stuff off of your mind. We may even do some of the math you're struggling with." His last sentence got me. It broke through the glass I had built up again in that short amount of time and allowed me to let out a laugh. It wasn't like his yet, but I was hoping that with some time, it could get there.