Thanks for all the reviews and support. :)
All chapters will be skipping several weeks or months... But the plot will remain.
If anyone is willing to help me... I would appreciate a beta... Just PM me if you have the time.
Hope you enjoy this chapter :)) I think maybe 4-6 more chapters left...
12nd February 2019
Brittany stretched her legs out wider until she was achieving the splits; Kitty walked over and dropped in front of her.
"How are you?" Kitty asked, leaning forward to stretch her back, letting her fingers touch the tips of her toes.
"Fine." Brittany said firmly, as she slowly moved her legs back to their original position; "So are you okay?"
Kitty laughed as she nodded before leaning back to meet Brittany's eyes, she smiled softly, as she rubbed the back of her thighs; "You know… I hear you at night."
Brittany looked down at her crossed legs, her fingers stroking the outline of the duck on her socks.
"I'm sorry… I knew I shouldn't have told you." Kitty said, going to stand up
"No… It's fine…" Brittany replied, tapping her palm against the floor; "Sit…"
Kitty let herself sit back down in front of Brittany; she rubbed her shoulders; "I know things aren't… good for you. But I'm here… if you wanna talk."
"I just… I miss her, you know." Brittany whispered, looking up to meet Kitty's eyes.
Kitty moved forward, and squeezed Brittany's hand; "I get it… It's only been a few weeks… She's probably misses you too."
"She could call… Or she could answer my calls… I miss her a lot." Brittany said
"Can I be totally honest with you?" Kitty asked
Brittany nodded
"You need to own up to the fact that you don't just want Santana… You want this. You want to dance… You want the freedom to dance." Kitty said
"Santana wants me to dance." Brittany said
"So why is she ignoring your calls?" Kitty asked
"This is great, Kitty! My wife's ignoring me and you're rubbing it in my face." Brittany said
"No, I'm not… If she wants you here, then why is she ignoring you?" Kitty asked
"I don't know." Brittany snapped; "If she would answered my calls, I'd find out."
Kitty nodded; "Listen, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. You're bound to miss her… It can't be good on a marriage to be gone from each other, especially when you're having problems."
Brittany nodded, rubbing her hands together; "I think she's not in this anymore."
"What?" Kitty asked
"She said that our separation wasn't temporary last time we spoke." Brittany said, running her fingers through her hair, she sighed deeply; "I think she's moving on from me… Why else isn't she talking to me? I know I'm not forgiven yet… God, all I want is her."
Kitty sucked her lips into her mouth, trying to think of the right thing to say; "Britt, maybe… Why don't you give writing a chance? I mean if she's not answering her phone."
Brittany looked up at Kitty with an unsure expression, Kitty smiled softly; tapping her fingers against Brittany's knee; "Think about it… Okay?"
"Thanks, Kit." Brittany said
Kitty winked and then stood up, walking out of the room. Brittany stood up, and grabbed her bag. She ignored all the other dancers as she began walking towards her hotel room which she shared with Kitty.
Jumping on to her bed, she leaned over and grabbed a few sheets of paper which was the hotels.
Dear Santana – Too formal
To Santana – Too informal.
Brittany threw the pen across the floor, in frustration. She couldn't even write the introduction, never mind a whole letter. Brittany flinched at the touch of someone else, before recognizing Kitty's hand on her shoulder.
"I take that it didn't go well." Kitty said
"I can't write to her, Kit… What do I say? She knows I love her, she knows I'm sorry. She's probably just punishing me." Brittany said
"With reason, Britt." Kitty said, gently moving out-of-the-way; she picked up the sheets of paper, and grabbed a pencil off her bed; "Tell me what to write… Imagine she was here…"
"Kitty, I can't say it… I need to hear her voice." Brittany replied, looking at Kitty who was leaning back against her bed
"Well, then… Case closed. Santana will just intuitively know what's going on in your mind." Kitty said
Brittany sent Kitty a glare
"Don't glare at me." Kitty said, pointing the pencil at Brittany; "I'm trying to help you… Just talk about what you'd say. I'll write… and if you don't wanna send it… you don't have to."
Brittany bit her bottom lip, letting her teeth drag along the skin before releasing it; "Okay… But… you let me read it afterwards."
Kitty giggled; "Of course… Now, get yapping."
Brittany lied back along the bed, she let her head rest on a mixture of pillows, and clothes.
"I just… I wish you were here…I guess it feels like I've made it, without you. I know it's not true… because Santana pushed me to try to find my dream…. And dancing's always been mine." Brittany said, shifting so she could watch Kitty quickly scratch the pencil across the paper.
"Keep going." Kitty mumbled, making Brittany flush
"It's a little embarrassing." Brittany said
"You wanna dirty talk her in a letter?" Kitty asked, crinkling her nose in distaste
"God… No… I meant talking to her, to you…" Brittany explained
"Imagine I'm Santana… I love you… And I wanna hear about what's happened since we last spoke." Kitty said
Brittany hummed in thought; letting her forefinger scratch the freckle above her belly button; "I love you so much, Santana… It's hell being away from you."
Brittany turned on to her side, letting her arms wrapping around her stomach; "I know it's probably hell for you too… Time for the truth. I… I saw Sam again. Not purposely. I would never do that to you again… I… He's friends with one of the dancers. I should have told you that I saw him again… I guess since you couldn't answer the phone to me when I needed to speak."
Kitty looked up when Brittany stopped speaking; "Are you stuck?"
"I just want her to talk to me." Brittany said, sitting up; she wiped her eyes before being wrapped in Kitty's arms.
"Listen, we don't have to do this." Kitty whispered, rubbing her hand up and down Brittany's back; "I know how much you miss her."
"It feels like I'm not even married anymore, Kit. I know we're falling apart. I know it's me who caused it… because I wanted more than what I had…" Brittany said softly
"I know, Britt… I know you hate what you did." Kitty said
Brittany groaned into her hands; "You know… I lied to her so many times. She'd ask me how my day was… I'd say it was good… And it wasn't."
"Britt, I honestly don't think she cares about that… I think she's just concerned about whether you're still in love with her… Whether that's changed." Kitty said softly, placing the paper into Brittany's hands; "I got the most of it down. Maybe you can finish it."
Brittany nodded, staring down at the letter.
"I'll bring you up some dinner." Kitty mumbled, tapping Brittany's shoulder
Brittany looked up and smiled at her; "Thanks."
Kitty winked at her, before walking out of the room. Brittany looked down at the letter, she then rolled over and picked up her phone. She pressed on Santana's name, letting the phone press against her ear.
"Pick up… Pick up…" Brittany mumbled
"Hello?" Santana answered
Brittany rubbed her eyes sadly; "You don't answer my calls, San... I had to put my number as unknown for you to answer it."
Santana sighed softly; "I'm sorry okay… It was just… It's hard being away from you… especially when you're…-"
"I miss you so much… Isn't that hard for me… I hate waking up without you… I hate not even talking to you." Brittany said lightly; scratching at her leg to give her something to focus on without constantly talking at Santana.
"I miss you too… But… It's easier to not talking to you, than it is talking to you." Santana revealed
"Oh…" Brittany replied, not really expecting Santana to say that to her; "I'm sorry to bother you."
"You're not bothering me." Santana said
"I think I am." Brittany responded
Santana cleared her throat; "I've been speaking to Quinn…"
"Who's Quinn?" Brittany asked with furrow eyebrows
"Erm… Sam's wife… Well, ex-wife soon to be." Santana said
"You can't talk to me, but you can talk to some stranger?" Brittany asked in confusion
"Yeah… It's a little like déjà vu…. I mean… Sam was some stranger to you…" Santana replied
Brittany pinched the skin just behind her knee; "Erm…"
"It's whatever… I just wanted you to know that I'm talking to her… I'm trying to deal with whatever you… and Sam… are." Santana said
"We're nothing… We weren't anything. I love you, Santana…. How can I prove to you that I was never looking to cheat on you?" Brittany asked
"I guess you can't… because deep down, you wanted something… which you couldn't find in me… I don't think you've admitted everything to me." Santana said
"I have, though." Brittany stressed, slapping her hand against the mattress; "God… If I wanted to sleep with him… I would have."
"Great, Britt. Thank you for… telling me that." Santana said; "I really needed to know that if you wanted to sleep with Sam, you would have…. Now you know why I was burning with the urge to call you."
"You're making me out to be the bad person." Brittany mumbled
"You don't have to worry about me doing that. You're doing an awesome job on your own." Santana replied
"You're not even listening to me… You just wanna argue all the time. I don't get why you're doing this." Brittany said; "You've hurt me enough by dumping me."
"I haven't dumped you." Santana quickly interjected; "Did you… Did you think I had?"
"Honestly yes… You don't even bother to answer a phone call." Brittany said
"You'd honestly believe I'd dump you over the phone?" Santana asked in complete and utter confusion; "Britt, did you think separation was us being over?"
"Yeah… You pretty much ignored me after that." Brittany said softly
"We're not over, Britt…" Santana said; "We're taking some time apart…"
"Are we… still together or seeing other people?" Brittany asked
"I guess other people is an… option." Santana said
"Oh…" Brittany mumbled
Santana hummed; "I guess you should probably go… hang out with your friends."
"I saw Sam… A few weeks ago." Brittany blurted out, she didn't know why she said it, honestly she just wanted to talk to Santana, and that was the first thing which popped into her head.
"Oh…" Santana said
"He's friends with one of the dancers… And I saw him… We spoke… He told me that he was single." Brittany said, biting the tip of the pencil; "I just thought I"
"You know what, Britt? You must be creaming bravado… You have a go at me for painting you as the bad guy… Then you ask if we're even together… Then you talk about Sam being single." Santana said in total disbelief as she interrupted Brittany; "Honestly, go fuck Sam… I don't even know why I'm wasting my time on you and this utter sham of a marriage… You think there's not hundreds of women out in LA who wouldn't want me; I offered you everything, and you didn't want it… I'm just supposed to wait around until you do? Don't call me again, not until you're gonna have some respect."
Brittany heard the clang of Santana slamming the phone down. She lied back in confusion. She was just trying to be honest to Santana about everything which was happening. She had just assumed Santana would want to know if she had been in contact with Sam, which she hadn't apart from the night where she saw him at the club.
Brittany couldn't stand why Santana had assumed that she wanted to see other people and that she wanted to sleep with Sam. She didn't want to be free to see other people; she wanted to see her wife, and sleep with her wife.
Brittany curled up against her pillow, trying to understand how to sort things out with Santana; and to think it was Valentine's Day in two days. Brittany glanced back down at the half written letter. If she finished the letter before 7pm, she could send it today, meaning it would probably reach Santana on Valentine's Day.
Brittany had never written so fast in all her life. The pencil ran across the paper like it was the words were just innately there. Brittany signed it with a kiss; before standing up, she ripped open the door, bumping into Kitty.
"Where are you going? I got food." Kitty called after her
"I need to fix my marriage." Brittany shouted, as she rushed round a corner
"Women…" Kitty mumbled, as she closed the door behind her.