Thanks for all reviews. I will hurry up the angst, don't worry :)
A big thank you to bodybroke who is totes awesome at being a beta.
Hope you enjoy this chapter :)
6th March 2019
Brittany and Santana had talked more often since their most truthful conversation. Their relationship, although taking a small bout of separation, was seemingly better than before. Phone calls were often, and filled with stories of shows that had been fun or stories that had been hell to write. They were long and deep, sharing themselves as well as they could when they were so far apart. Santana found herself trusting Brittany again, which scared her. She could see herself forgiving Brittany for lying, for hiding things from her.
Santana just didn't know why she even suggested seeing other people. She knew deep down that it would probably hurt their relationship more, especially at this rather fragile stage. Honestly, Santana just wanted Brittany to be certain that it was her that she wanted deep down. That she wasn't just bored with her job but with her whole life. Santana just wanted Brittany to be certain that she was in love with her before they tried to fix it; and maybe seeing other people would provide Brittany with the clarity she needed.
Brittany stretched out on the mat which was lying along the gym floor and leaned forward to let her leg muscles stretch out. She was covered in a light shine of sweat from her recent work out and was currently involved in warming down.
A muffled vibration came from her sports bra. Letting out a deep sigh, she reached out and pulled her phone out. Clicking on answer, she placed it against her ear; "Hello?"
"I can't believe you, Britt," Tina snapped; "First you have to make out that you're cheating on her; and then you force her to move back to her parents. What is wrong with you, Britt? You can't treat your wife like that,"
"Tina-"Brittany started
"No, you… I thought you would never do this. You always seem so in love and now… You're dancing while Santana's in LA," Tina interjected; "I never would have thought you'd do this… and especially not to her... God, No wonder she's seeing other people,"
"I made a mistake, Tina… Should I have to pay with everything? Santana's practically left me … I haven't spoken to you or Mike in months… I've lost enough… So don't have a go at me for doing something. I know what I did wrong… But you have no right to ever criticise me for a mistake I made." Brittany snapped, standing up to dab a towel along her forehead; "Don't bother calling me again if you're just gonna say this again…"
Brittany hung up the phone; pushing it back down her sports bra, she walked down the corridor towards the changing room Kitty was drying her hair with a small white towel. Tina's words running round her mind; No wonder she's seeing other people. Brittany couldn't help but wonder if that was the whole reason she suggested the option.
"Fucking towel drying sucks." Kitty mumbled, as she let the towel drop to her feet; she looked up and met Brittany's upset expression; "Britt, what's wrong?"
Brittany wrapped her arms around Kitty's waist, trying to keep her tears from falling. She sniffed loudly, wiping her eyes; "Just one of my friends. They called to have a go at me for making Santana move to LA. I didn't make her do anything…"
"I know, kid… She wanted to stay with her parents… It's not your fault." Kitty said, letting her palm rub up and down Brittany's back; "Come on… I'll treat you for ice cream."
Brittany pulled back, wiping her eyes with a small giggle; "Thanks, Kit… Strawberry?"
"Of course…" Kitty said, rubbing Brittany's upper arm; "Get changed… I need to call Brody… I'll meet you outside."
Brittany nodded softly and turned towards her locker before she turned round to meet Kitty's back as she walked towards the door.
"Kit, can we reschedule… I just wanna call Santana on her lunch break?" Brittany asked
"You do what you want, Britt. Ice cream after, okay?" Kitty replied, with a grin; "Keep me posted on your girl."
"I will…" Brittany replied smiling as Kitty winked at her before walking out of the changing room.
Brittany finished changing quickly and made her way back to her hotel room. Slamming the door behind, she threw herself onto her bag, letting her gym bag drop to the ground.
Fumbling with bag, she pulled her phone out and sighed in relief as she rolled on to her back.
Santana sighed deeply, closing the word document after she had sent it to her boss. Picking up her phone, she smiled softly at Brittany's name across the screen.
Talk now? – Britt
In 15… Just leaving work. – San
Sounds good - Britt
Santana slipped her phone into her bag, before picking up a bundle of files and walking out of her office. Closing the door, she walked out of the building, towards the coffee shop.
Brittany threw her phone onto her bed, as she rubbed her face, before groaning as she sat down on the edge of her bed, lying back against the soft mattress.
Santana sipped her coffee as she began walking towards her parked car and she pressed her phone against her ear.
"Hey." Santana said softly
"Hey." Brittany replied
Santana rubbed the back of her neck slowly; "How are-?"
"Are you seeing someone?" Brittany asked quickly, interrupting Santana as she was starting to ask. Brittany sighed deeply; "I need to know if you said we could see other people…because you have someone… Is… Have you been seeing someone?"
Santana leaned back against her car seat; "I'm not seeing anyone…"
"Then why suggest it? We're never gonna make us work if we're seeing other people." Brittany snapped angrily; "Do you want me to move on or do you just want an excuse to end it for good?"
"I don't want you to be bound to me purely due to the fact we're married. I want you to want me like you did when we first met… That uncontrollable desire… It's gone… I don't know if you want me or if you're simply being with me because you feel like you owe it to me." Santana replied, softly
"I love you… I've never felt this way about anyone; and you think I'd want to waste that for some meaningless fling with some stranger…" Brittany replied, sitting up and crossing her legs; "Santana, I don't want this to be us. I want you… Just you. God, I'm willing to wait for you to be ready… I know I hurt you, but I want us to be together."
Santana nodded slowly, trying to gather what to say, how to reply correctly; "Britt, I need you to be certain that you want me… Can't you understand that? I don't want us to be happy for 5 more years… and then you find another person to befriend… Only it's them who you want instead."
"You think I'd want anyone but you? God, Santana… No one comes close to you, or what you mean to me." Brittany replied, scratching below her knee; "How can I prove that to you?"
"I guess you can't… You just have to show me." Santana murmured; "Britt, you're telling me that seeing other people is completely stupid but… What the hell were you doing with Sam? Telling him your secrets, braiding his hair?"
"There's no reason to get sarcastic." Brittany mumbled
"I'm sorry… I should go befriend some girl who I wanna bang… And then hide it from you… because apparently that's normal." Santana replied, her tone dripping with sarcasm
Santana released a deep sigh, rubbing her temple as she glanced around the nearly empty parking lot; "Britt, I don't know what you wanted from Sam. I've probably asked a million times… and I probably will never know. You were bored with your life… and you went to a stranger… So if you're bored with us… How do I know you're not just gonna find someone else to fill that spot? You don't talk to me anymore. I knew nothing about your job… Because you obviously didn't trust me enough to tell me."
"You know it wasn't even about Sam. It could have been anyone…" Brittany replied
"But it wasn't… Who started it, Britt? You should have been honest to me… and yourself." Santana said softly; before clearing her throat; "You wanted to sleep with him, didn't you?" She added raising her voice.
"No… I didn't. If I wanted to sleep with someone else, I would have told you that things weren't working." Brittany mumbled in response
"Things weren't working for you anyway… and you didn't bother telling me." Santana argued back
Brittany groaned in frustration, not understanding why Santana was being so stubborn; "We're never gonna get anywhere. You don't believe me, you don't listen to me…"
"So you didn't wanna sleep with Sam… Why didn't you tell me then? If it was innocent… and nothing was going on… Why hide it?" Santana asked
"Because you have no idea how crap my life was, San. You were so happy… and I wasn't. How could I tell you that?" Brittany asked
"We're married, Brittany. If you wanna have secrets, you should probably find yourself a divorce lawyer… I'm not having you hide things from me." Santana snapped in response, she reached forward to pinch the ridge of her nose, trying to quench the sudden burst of anger which was threatening to explode; "I don't think we've solved any problems… You don't even admit that hiding Sam from me wasn't the right thing to do… If you don't wanna see other people, don't… but the option's there… because I refuse to forgive you and put all my trust back in you… For you to screw me over later on."
"I'm not gonna do that. Santana, honestly, do you really believe that I'd lie to your face… I've practically lost you… I'm not interested in anyone but you." Brittany murmured; "You have to believe me."
"You know how much I want to… But I can't…. You said it yourself, our marriage is practically in ruins… We're arguing all the time… You have nothing left to lose, so why wouldn't you lie to me again?" Santana questioned
"You're over thinking this, baby. I love you… God, I love you. I would never say I did if I wasn't being truthful about my feelings… So I'll bite my tongue. The option's there… You know me… I'm not going to sleep with anyone unless it's you. You don't have to believe me or trust me… But I'll show you that I'm one hundred per cent involved in this relationship." Brittany said softly, she released a shaky breath; "Don't hate me, San… I'm sorry for hurting you, but just don't hate me…"
"I could never hate you." Santana whispered softly
Brittany released a sigh of relief almost. "Okay… Well, I'll talk to you tomorrow…"
"Okay… Goodnight, Britt." Santana replied
"Night." Brittany murmured, before hanging up. Letting the phone drop to the cushioned mattress beneath her. She ran both hands through her hair, breathing in deeply as she wondered whether or not she should have persuaded Santana that they were the real deal. That their love was wasting right now by their inability to take a leap of faith and trust each other.