Thanks for all the attention to this story. I have started a new story called Love those little lies which I will be updating soon :)
Thank you to bodybroke who is an amazing beta :)
3rd August 2019
Brittany punched harder at the boxing bag which was swinging lightly in front of her; shifting gently on her already pacing feet; she swung once more and hit the bag hard. She then slowed down and wrapped her arms around the bag, breathing heavily.
"What's wrong?" Ryder asked, wiping his own sticky face with a towel as he passed a clean one to Brittany.
"I feel like this tour's being extremely long." Brittany muttered with a tired expression
"Taking it's toll on you." Ryder commented
"Exactly." Brittany mumbled, wiping her face with her towel; "I think Santana is feeling sad… She's struggling to find a job she actually likes."
"The economy sucks, Britt. There's not a lot of jobs out there right now. You just have to get what you can get." Ryder said, with a sympathetic tone.
"I know... I just, Santana had a good job in LA." Brittany mumbled; "I asked her to come home."
"You didn't know that finding a new job would be so hard." Ryder said, running her fingers through his hair
Brittany nodded softly, biting her bottom lip lightly, debating what to say. "I guess it's hard to be in a routine and then be pulled out."
Ryder nodded; "She loves you, right?"
"Yeah." Brittany mumbled, as she tugged her boxing gloves off
"Then you have nothing to worry about." Ryder said
Brittany nodded softly; "I just get so worried about us."
Ryder sucked in a deep breath, and gently rubbed Brittany's shoulder; "It's normal to worry about you two... You're in love, and you're parted from each other. It's gonna be hard to cope without each other."
Brittany sniffed softly, gently wiping her eyes; "You're... You're right. It's supposed to be hard, right?"
"Yeah, Britt. I think it's natural to miss her." Ryder replied, rubbing his towel against the back of his neck; "Just talk to her. She's probably feeling the same."
Brittany nodded; "Yeah, I will. Thanks, Ryder."
Ryder smiled softly; and walked off to allow Brittany to finish her work out. Brittany released a deep breath before walking off towards the changing room. She dumped her boxing gloves beside her towel and locker, before walking towards the showering area.
After a rather quick shower, and an even quicker time dressing, she walked out of the gym and in the direction of her hotel. Brittany began calling Santana. A few rings later, she answered.
"Hey, San." Brittany said softly
"Hey..." Santana replied
Brittany noticed something different within Santana's tone but decided not to press on it, fearing an argument would be the only outcome.
"How are you?" Brittany asked
Santana sighed deeply, and Brittany could sense annoyance lacing her attitude; "Britt, now's not a good time for me."
"Oh... Maybe after work then?" Brittany suggested
"Aren't you doing a show tonight?" Santana asked, albeitly slightly rushed
"Erm, not til 7." Brittany answered, running her fingers through her slightly damp locks
"Well, I'm not out of work til 8. So it'll have to be later." Santana said
Brittany nodded dumbly, not sure how to reply to that, especially when Santana was being so closed off.
"Look... I have to go into a meeting. I'll call you back." Santana murmured, this time with a slightly apologetic tone
"Okay..." Brittany muttered
"Talk to you soon." Santana replied, before ending the phone call shortly after she finished speaking.
Brittany slipped her phone away from her ear, feeling slightly dejected from the phone call. She shrugged any doubts from her mind, and focused on the fact that Santana was probably just really busy. She was an assistant, which basically meant she'd be the one to do all the jobs through the office.
Brittany arrived back at her hotel room, and was glad to find that Kitty had found somewhere else to be. She lied along the length of her bed, watching TV until her head hurt from analyzing everything Santana said and how she sounded. She checked the time and then sighed about wasting the whole day worrying about nothing. But doubt still lingered and she quickly grabbed her phone. Typing out a quick text to Santana.
Should I be worried about us? - Britt
Brittany changed quickly before making her way to the hotel room door, slipping her phone into her back pocket. She walked out slamming the door behind her, letting the lock snap into place.
Brittany made her way to the Civic Centre Music hall, which was only a few blocks from her hotel. She was mentally preparing herself for a good show. She walked through the back entrance, walking towards the area where all the dancers were either getting ready for dancing or changing.
Brittany grabbed her outfit, squeezing Ryder and Kitty's arms as she quickly rushed towards the bathroom. She pulled her hotel key, her dance troupe pass, and her phone out of her pockets; before tugging her jeans off and slipping on a pair of black shorts on, with a matching black t-shirt.
Brittany bundled her clothes up and began shuffling them into the bag; about to leave when a vibration caught her ear.
Brittany slipped her phone out, not really noticing how she hesitated with pressing the buttons to open the message.
Wow. You're not even here, and you can't wait to place our relationship in doubt. - San
Brittany let out a surprised gasp at the reply; she wasn't trying to place anything in doubt, let alone their relationship. She was in love with Santana. Why couldn't Santana see that?
I never even did that. We're not in doubt. I just wanna make sure we're okay. Aren't I allowed to be worried? - Britt
Brittany placed her phone in her bag before walking out of the bathroom. She placed the bag down before finding Kitty.
"Hey, where were you?" Brittany asked
"I was with Ryder. I met him at the gym." Kitty murmured, leaning up to fix Brittany's hair; "What's wrong? You have your upset face on."
"I think me and Santana are falling out again." Brittany said softly
Kitty sighed; "You two again... Britt, you end up arguing every time you speak to her. Maybe you should just stop calling her... At least you won't argue."
Brittany nodded; "You know I can't stop calling her. She's my wife. I worry about her constantly."
Kitty heard their manager calling to be ready in a minute to go on stage. She turned to Brittany; "You need to tell her that the arguing has to stop. You're going home in two months... Do you really wanna be reunited by an argument?"
Brittany nodded; "You're right. But I'm just worried it'll only cause another argument to start."
Kitty tapped Brittany's forearm; "Look, you love her, and she loves you. Everything else is irrelevant... We should get on the stage."
Brittany nodded in agreement before following Kitty and the rest of the dancers on stage.
Santana ran her hands through her hair, brushing it back out of her face; as she slammed the front door behind her. Santana let out a low burp as she placed her files on the kitchen counter, before walking towards the fridge.
Santana pulled a chair out, and sat down to eat her quickly made sandwich. Her eyes glaring at the dull screen of her phone. She leaned forward to sip leisurely from her wine glass.
A few seconds later, Brittany's name flashed against the screen, Santana picked it up and answered it.
"Took your time calling." Santana mentioned
"Yeah... The show finished at 11." Brittany replied
Santana hummed, taking another sip, taking the glass to the sink along with her place; "Well, I don't get what there is to talk about."
"How about us? The fact all we're doing is arguing?" Brittany suggested
"Well... we can't argue unless it's over the phone or in person. All we're doing is texting angrily." Santana replied
"Whatever, Santana! I don't want to be angry with you. I love you." Brittany said
Santana sighed, placing her palm against the counter; "I'm not in the mood for late night phone sex..."
"I'm not calling for phone sex. I'm calling to make sure we're okay." Brittany replied softly, she released a deep breath, "Baby, I don't want to be worried."
"We're fine." Santana mumbled
"It doesn't fill me with confidence when you don't sound sure." Brittany said softly
"We're okay, Britt. I love you..." Santana replied, running her fingers through her hair, until she reached the back of her neck; "Britt, it just feels like you want us to be in trouble... The way you're constantly asking about us, whether you should be worried."
"Santana, all you do when I call is try to argue." Brittany replied, honestly
Santana scoffed in response before clearing her throat; "If all I wanna do is argue, don't bother calling..."
Santana hung up the phone, placing it on the counter; before turning and walking upstairs. Anger cursing through her at Brittany's rather honest tone.
4th August 2019
Brittany was woken up by her phone ringing loudly; she immediately answered it hoping it would be Santana. It turned out to be Artie Abrams, Santana and her's bank manager in New York.
"Is something wrong, Artie?" Brittany asked, a little confused why her bank manager would call
"It's your joint account. You set up a limit where you wanted to be notified when the amount went under." Artie explained, hearing the confusion lacing Brittany's tone.
"How much is it the account?" Brittany asked
"Just over $5,000." Artie quoted looking at his computer screen
"How much has gone out?" Brittany asked
"Just under $2,000..." Artie said
"What? How could it be gone?" Brittany asked
"It's been taken out since around the start of March." Artie replied; "Maybe Santana has been using the wrong card."
"Maybe, can you set up a payment every month from my account to our joint account?" Brittany asked
"Along with the extra mortgage payment coming out of their?" Artie asked to clarify
"Yeah, it's just a temporary thing. And can you deposit about 500 into Santana's own account." Brittany said
"Cool. I'll set that up, and issue you an email to confirm." Artie said
"Thanks, I'll talk to you later." Brittany replied
"Have a good day." Artie said before the phone call ended.
Brittany placed the phone down before sighing deeply. Wondering what Santana was doing with their accounts.
Brittany was in the shower when she decided not to bother questioning Santana about the money being taken out of their joint account which was savings for their future plans for a child. She knew that an argument would be the only result of any questioning.
Brittany enjoyed most of her day off, she went for a long walk, had some expensive food before returning back to the hotel for a nap.
Brittany got unchanged and climbed into bed, letting the covers rest just under her chin; she sighed as her head molded against the crisp white pillow.
Then her phone rang.
Brittany groaned in frustration before fumbling to pick it up.
"Hello?" She answered gruffly
"What the hell are you playing at?" Santana snapped
"What? What's wrong?" Brittany asked, concern instantly dripping off her tone as she sat up.
"Why the hell are you putting money into my account?" Santana questioned
"So you won't take it from our savings." Brittany replied honestly
Santana sighed sadly; "You found out."
"That you've been taking money since March? Yeah, I found out." Brittany said, running her fingers through her knotted hair; "Why couldn't you just tell me?"
"Tell you that I'm in debt? That I had to use my car payments to pay for plane tickets to see you? How could I tell you that? You're used to having no money, it's not a problem for you." Santana replied
"Santana, you think I would have judged you for having some money problems?" Brittany asked
"Money problems? I have nothing in my account... And now I have to rely on your money." Santana stressed; "But thank you... Thank you for making me feel even more worse about this."
"I'm trying to help." Brittany murmured softly
"I don't want your money." Santana revealed; "And I hate that you'd think I'd want it... God, why are you acting like this? Just because you have a good paying job you have to rub it in my face."
"San, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I know you don't get paid a lot... and I want to make sure you're okay. I'm not rubbing anything in your face." Brittany said
"I'm not okay, Britt... and it has nothing to do with money. I miss you, and you treat me like a child. I'm not... I don't need you to worry about me." Santana murmured
"I'm sorry..." Brittany mumbled
"Well, its whatever. Nothing will be solved until you're home... So have a good show tomorrow." Santana said
"San, no... I want us to talk. I hate how we are right now." Brittany replied
"Britt, you're not here. How can we solve anything? The whole problem is you're not here... because you don't want to be here." Santana mumbled in frustration
"I want to be with you. It's all I want. I need to dance." Brittany said
"And you don't need me right? You just want me?" Santana asked
"Santana, don't twist my words." Brittany mumbled
Santana sighed deeply, trying to sort her thoughts out; "You tried to do a good thing... But I don't want your money. I'll just trade in my car for a smaller one, a cheaper one."
"San, please just let me pay the car payments then." Brittany interjected
"Along with the mortgage payments and the money you paid into the savings?" Santana asked, to clarify; "Britt, you can't pay for everything."
"I can... until you're sorted." Brittany replied softly; "Think of it as me being a supportive wife... You supported me; and I wanna support you."
"You already support me; and we both agree I've been terrible for weeks." Santana grumbled in response
"You had a job you loved; and now you're doing something you probably hate. I get why you're acting cranky." Brittany replied; "And I love you even with your temper."
Santana smiled; "I'm sorry for being horrible. You were being sweet, trying to help..."
"I shouldn't have gone ahead without talking to you first, though." Brittany murmured
"Well, considering your track record with talking to me about things... I can't say I'm surprised." Santana replied; "Just cancel everything. I'll trade the car in for a cheaper one... I'll be fine after that."
"And our savings? Two thousand dollars, Santana." Brittany said
"We're not gonna use them yet. You're in fucking Oklahoma, Britt. How can we have a baby when you're not even here?" Santana asked; before releasing a sigh; "Look, I'll pay it back monthly... It's not a big deal. We've been building up savings since we got married. It's been 5 years, and we're nowhere near using them."
"It's not the point, Santana. We made a promise not to use them no matter how desperate." Brittany said softly; "I want a child with you. We decided IVF was the way we were going to do it."
"You're not here, Britt. Frankly, I don't even feel married. I feel like I get up early for work, leave work late, for a phone call from someone who chose to be away from me." Santana revealed sadly; "You... You don't get it. You're not here, and it sucks. But that's fine because you're home in two months... and I should feel grateful."
Brittany sighed softly; "I'm trying not to argue."
"Well, that never stopped us." Santana quipped
"I'm not choosing to be away from you." Brittany murmured
"Well, you joining a dance troupe which travels the whole fucking country practically is making you be away from me." Santana replied
"I'll be home soon... We can talk about this then." Brittany murmured
"In two months? Britt, I don't wanna talk about this then. I hate that you're apart. It's not gonna be a problem when you're home." Santana said
"Well, it's not easy to talk about this now." Brittany replied
Santana sighed; "Britt, you never wanna talk about anything unless it's to worry about us. Well, this is us... I'm worried about us, and I'm not sure if we can deal with this for another two months."
"Baby, we're fine... You said it yourself, it won't be a problem when I'm home." Brittany murmured; "I know its hard right now... but we'll be okay when I'm back."
"Until you leave again?" Santana asked, her tone sounded sad and Brittany noticed immediately.
"You know I'm not trying to leave you." Brittany said
"So this is our life, you leaving for months at a time, coming home for a few weeks before leaving again?" Santana questioned
"I'm not gonna be doing this forever." Brittany mumbled
Santana sighed deeply; rubbing her temple; "For another year? Two? More... I'm being honest, Britt. I can't do this for much longer."
"Santana, it's not gonna be for much longer." Brittany replied; "I promise."
Santana remained silent, for a few minutes, her breathing the only sound Brittany could hear; "Fine..."
"Santana, I'll be home soon... We can decide what to do for our future." Brittany replied
"Yeah... Two months... I'll make a note in my diary." Santana replied sarcastically, she released a soft breath, pinching the bridge of her nose; "I should go. I'll talk to you soon."
"Yeah, I'll call you soon." Brittany said, running her fingers through her messy locks; "Don't worry about us, baby. I love you so much."
"Yeah, you too." Santana mumbled, before hanging up the phone
Brittany heard the click of the dial tone, she bit her bottom lip before dropping her phone to the mattress underneath her with a deep sigh.
"Such a mess." Brittany mumbled in a whisper, before tugging the covers up over her head.
Santana sipped from her coffee cup, relishing the slightly burning sensation of her piping hot black coffee. Her eyes closing as she let the hot coffee run over her tongue before traveling down her throat.
"You look like you're making love to that coffee." Quinn mentioned, snapping Santana out of her coffee induced haze.
"I love coffee." Santana replied, with a soft smirk; as she placed her cup down on the table in front of her.
"So... How's the job going?" Quinn asked, wiping her mouth with a white napkin; "Frannie said you're doing great at it."
Santana nodded, "Wow... I thought she hated me."
Quinn laughed; "She comes across like that... but she must like you, she never brags about someone."
Santana pursed her lips; "Well, I'm surprised. It's good... I like it."
"It's just not what you want?" Quinn asked
"I want to write... It's always what I wanted to do." Santana replied
"Well, continue looking for opportunities on the side." Quinn murmured, taking a quick sip of her milky hot chocolate; "So... Are we gonna discuss why you called me?"
Santana let out a poof of air before picking up her coffee cup.
"Look, I get why you don't want her to give you money." Quinn said
"It's like I'm a child, Q. I have to rely on my wife's money... It's not..." Santana replied, running her fingers through her hair, scratching her scalp; "I don't need to feel inadequate by my own wife, you know?"
"You know that's not what she's trying to do. She loves you, anyone can see that. She's trying to make sure you're okay." Quinn said softly, letting her fingers tap against her cup
"Well, I'm not... and it has nothing to do with money problems." Santana mumbled
"I get that it hurts." Quinn said making Santana nod in agreement; "But it's Britt... It's your wife... and you don't wanna lose her."
"I shouldn't have to feel this way, especially by her." Santana replied, with a slight annoyed expression; "Life's not supposed to be this... miserable. I get it now. Why she wanted something new because life sucks when you do the same thing every day."
"Maybe you can understand how she felt then." Quinn mentioned, reaching for a clean napkin
"Well, I get how she felt... but I don't agree with what she did to make her life a little more exciting." Santana said
"She didn't cheat, Santana. I mean... Hiding it from you was wrong but she didn't try to sleep with him or anything." Quinn replied
"Yet! What if Marley didn't tell me? I wouldn't have found out, and she wouldn't have told me... So anything could have happened." Santana said
Quinn sighed; "You can't keep analyzing what could have happened. Brittany could have lied when Marley told you... but she didn't. She chose to be honest, however late you think it was."
Santana remained silent but offered a soft nod; as she scraped her forefinger nail against the top of the table.
"I know I'm being harsh on her... but I'm still angry." Santana said softly; "I love her... but things haven't been sorted. She's left me to do what makes her happy... and that's fine, I'm glad she's happy... but I'm not... and whether she likes it or not... I blame her."
"Santana, she didn't cause this." Quinn replied
"I left California, for her. Why? To live in our house alone." Santana said
"She wants to be with you." Quinn murmured
"Obviously not enough to be with me... but we'll be fine, I'll just deal with everything, and she'll enjoy her life with everyone else but me." Santana replied, bitterly
"Santana, come on. You're being petty. She wants to be with you." Quinn said
"She didn't have to do this... She could have taken dance lessons, became a teacher... and stayed with me." Santana said, firmly; "She chose the only option away from me." Santana rolled her eyes before standing up; "I should go... I have work early tomorrow."
"Oh... I'll call you then." Quinn replied softly, sending her a polite smile, unsure how to make certain that Santana was okay.
"Yeah, talk soon." Santana said, before turning and walking out of the coffee shop, the idea of being angry at Brittany was burning through her.