A big thank you to everyone who read this story. It means a lot... I hope you still like it.
This is the last chapter before the epilogue which will be posted soon.
A huge thank you to bodybroke, who is an amazing beta, who polished this chapter until it was actually good. So thank you again.
Hope you enjoy.
15th July 2022
Santana turned towards Quinn who was panting harshly; Santana released a deep breath before slowing her jog to a steady walk.
Quinn was seemingly happy to slow down; mumbling a quiet thank fuck. Santana jumped off the treadmill, and walked over to the side, picking up her towel.
"Why are you so happy?" Quinn asked, with a flicker of confusion within her tone
"I'm... It's Brittany..." Santana murmured, taking a sip from her water bottle; "I've asked her to meet me next week."
"Oh yeah, what are you gonna do?" Quinn asked, with a quirked eyebrow
"Nothing like that." Santana replied, as she took a seat on the bench besides Quinn; "We might go for a stroll in the park... It's... I don't know how to make this romantic."
"You need to do something so romantic to win her back, so to speak... To sweep her off her feet." Quinn said, with an excited smile; "You know what I mean..."
Santana hummed lightly; "I think so, Q... I like the idea of doing something romantic for her."
Quinn nodded and leaned closer; "You really need to make her feel special... You love her, you want her back... Show her. What does she deserve?"
Santana clicked her tongue before leaning back in thought; "A better wife?"
Quinn sighed deeply; "Santana, she loves you... You know this."
"I know, I was just saying. I just... I keep picturing spending time with her. I miss waking up in her arms, feeling her body in the bed next to me... I miss her toothbrush next to mine. I miss her corny jokes... You know what I mean. She's always been it for me, and I must have been so stupid to think that our marriage wasn't what I wanted it." Santana said, shifting in her seat; "I was talking to my mom about, you know the affair she had... I just... I admire my dad for forgiving her and I love how they never gave up. It makes me feel like shit because I did give up... I gave up on Brittany for far less... and that kills me."
Quinn nodded; "Look, you haven't gave up. You're here, plotting how to romance her. That proves you're not giving up. You want this; and so does she... Keep it simple, San..."
"I know. She won't want big things... Maybe just feeding the ducks, you know." Santana suggested, with a small smile
"That sounds perfect. Britt will love it." Quinn said, squeezing Santana's hand; "Come on, Cassonova... Let's get lunch."
24th July 2022
Santana shifted against the bench underneath her, releasing a rather nervous sigh as she brushed her sleeve back to check the time again in less than a few seconds. Her eyes moving back up to look around for any sight, or hint of her familiar blonde.
"Oh, please come." Santana mumbled underneath her breath, as she nervously scratched at the skin on her thumb. Her subconscious never entertained the idea that Brittany wouldn't come but the nerves ran through her body like a fever.
"Santana." Brittany said, making Santana snap her head towards her; she immediately stumbled to stand up. Brittany grabbed Santana's hips, wearing a shy smile; "Watch your feet, San."
Santana released a shaky breath as she ran her hands down Brittany's arms, until she connected to Brittany's hands. Santana's eyes immediately began to water; "Oh Britt, I'm so... I'm so sorry."
Brittany cupped Santana's face with both hands, rubbing her thumbs along the smooth skin of her cheekbones; she smiled softly; "Santana, I... You don't have to apologize. The fact that you're here means everything."
Santana smiled weakly, turning back to grab a small loaf of bread; she thrusted it into Brittany's open hands. "I thought we could feed the ducks... If you want."
"Yeah..." Brittany said, smiling up at Santana, then began walking down towards a small duck pond. Santana sat down besides Brittany on a patch of grass; "This is... nice."
Santana nodded, squeezing her hands together; "Britt... I didn't want it to go like this. I feel like I'm ruining it..."
Brittany giggled; "Santana, you're not ruining anything... I just... I'm a little confused, San."
Santana turned to face Brittany, pulling her hand into lap; "Britt, I've been punishing... I've been such a spiteful bitch... and I hated it. I hated how I've treated you, baby..."
Brittany squeezed Santana's knee; she shook her head; "It's fine... It's not important anymore. Our relationship is important."
Santana slipped her fingers through Brittany's; she tapped her fingertips against her knuckles. Releasing a shaky breath, she let her eyes run down the back of Brittany's arm. "I just don't wanna ruin us..."
"You won't. I promise you." Brittany replied, with a smile plastered across her face; "Santana, you know we can survive anything now... We just need to talk about it. We can't push it away until we're ready to discuss it."
Santana nodded; "You're right..."
Brittany glanced from Santana's face to the rest of the park; "This has been the hardest time for us... I don't wanna complicate this anymore. We're in love, we want to be together. Why can't we be together?"
"I do want to be... I do, Britt." Santana said softly; "I just worry... I don't wanna lose you."
"You won't. Santana, you will never lose me... Anything that happens... We're bound together, we always end up together." Brittany replied, rubbing her hand along Santana's leg; "You are my soul mate, San."
Santana smiled; "I know..."
Brittany leaned forward, cupping Santana's cheeks, and pulling her into an unexpected kiss; gently pressing her own lips against Santana's slightly parted lips. Santana ran her fingers up the back of Brittany's neck, pulling her into a deeper kiss, a low moan slipping from her throat as she felt Brittany's fingers lace through a handful of black hair.
"You're my girl." Brittany breathed against the side of Santana's head, just over her hair covered ear.
Santana smiled softly and turned to open the loaf of bread; she handed a slice to Brittany who began throwing pieces into the water. Brittany released a shaky breath as she threw a small chunk to a near duck. She didn't really understand why Santana waited to send the letter and why she would send a letter in the first place. It just... It didn't make sense.
"Your silence is kinda killing me right now, Britt." Santana said, with a slight worried expression; "Do you not want us anymore or is there a different reason?"
"I'm just thinking, San." Brittany replied, placing the bread in front of her; "Of course I want us. I have always wanted that... I just don't get how you're ready now and not before."
Santana nodded; and sucked in a rather shaky breath; "You deserve to know..."
Brittany quirked up an eyebrow; her teeth biting into her bottom lip in confusion.
"I heard the truth from my dad... and it put things into perspective. I know that I love you. I know that I wanna be married to you until I die... I know that I want a family with you." Santana said softly, leaning over to take Brittany's hand; she sent her a smile; "I can't waste time with you, Britt. You mean everything to me... and I haven't shown it. I probably never have."
"San." Brittany interrupted
Santana shook her head; "Britt, I should have begged for your forgiveness before... but instead I wondered why you weren't begging for mine. You made one bad decision... and I punished you... and yet I've made a lot more... and you're still here."
Brittany squeezed Santana's hand gently; before lifting her hand up to her lips; kissing her knuckles.
"You love unconditionally; and I need to show you that I do too." Santana said, entwining their fingers together; her eyes choosing to focus on the contrast of their skin tones; "You showed me what a partnership is, Britt... What a relationship is... and I thank you, Britt. I should have encouraged your dreams as soon as you told them to me."
"Santana, it doesn't matter. I had my dream... I'm still living it." Brittany replied, with a small smile
"Britt, I have no idea what this means for us. I just know that I want you back." Santana muttered, pulling her hand away to rub against her forehead; "I know I have messed you around... and everyone should probably warn you not to take me back..."
"And I wouldn't listen to them... because I love you, Santana." Brittany replied with a slight grin; glancing ever so fleetingly at Santana.
Santana nodded lightly, rubbing the back of her neck; "I just... I panic, Britt."
Brittany smiled knowingly and reached forward to take Santana's hand; "I know you panic and you get scared... but I won't rush you to do something you're not ready for. Do you think I would?"
"No." Santana mumbled, wiping her tears from her cheeks; letting a giggle slip from her lips as she felt Brittany's fingers tickling against her sides.
"Please, don't cry." Brittany murmured
"Sorry." Santana replied
Brittany nodded; "Santana, you wrote to me. Are you still unsure?"
"No, Britt. I'm ready for us. I'm here because I love you... and I want to be with you. That's true. It will always be true." Santana murmured, squeezing Brittany's hand softly; "We belong together."
"I'd like to think so." Brittany replied, smiling in agreement
Santana leaned in and met Brittany half way to a rather chaste kiss. The briefest touch of cherry lip gloss and the remnants of spearmint flavored gum.
"I've missed kissing you." Brittany revealed with a bashful smile as she laced their fingers together, a rare grin appearing across her face; "I think that it's been my second favorite thing to do to you."
"What's the first?" Santana asked, lifting their joined hands to press a light kiss on the back of her hand.
"Watching you. I could watch you for hours." Brittany said, leaning forward to brush a few tresses of hair from Santana's face; her fingertips coming to brush against her chin, up to her temple. "I love watching you. I love seeing your facial expressions when you read a new book... Or when you're making funny faces at kids... You smile so affectionately at old couples. I love that I get to see that. That I get to see you that way."
Santana pressed her lips firmly against Brittany's, barely acknowledging the soft whimper of surprise. Santana pulled back lightly before gently pressing her lips against Brittany's three times in quick succession before releasing a soft sigh. Her thumb coming up to trace Brittany's top lip.
"Britt, I honestly don't deserve you." Santana whispered sadly
"Honey, I don't know why you think you're such a bad person. You're not." Brittany replied, kissing the tip of Santana's nose; "You're perfect to me. And I love who you are."
Santana smiled softly; "I love you too."
Brittany stood up; offering her hand to Santana; "Lets do something fun."
Santana nodded
27th July 2022
"Still okay with this?" Brittany asked carrying a box through the front door
"It's all I want." Santana murmured, wrapping her arms around Brittany's waist, placing a soft kiss on a rather sweaty neck; "Come on... How many boxes left?"
"Two..." Brittany said with a sigh as she placed the one she was holding down; she wiped her forehead with her t-shirt, smiling at Santana's expression; "Wanna grab the other one?"
"Sure... I have something for you though." Santana said, leaning forward to peck Brittany's lips before walking out of the house door towards Brittany's car.
Brittany quickly followed her; "What is it?"
Santana chuckled; picking up a box and passing it to Brittany; "After this. I'll give it to you."
Brittany nodded; "Thank you."
Santana turned round to grab the other one, then followed Brittany back inside. Brittany quickly walked back towards the front door to shut it.
"Bedroom, Britt." Santana called
Brittany smiled and walked into the bedroom; she leaned against the doorframe, sending Santana a grin. "You called, my lady?"
Santana laughed; "Come here..."
Brittany nodded and walked round to sit on the same side of the bed as Santana; she looked down at the small box in Santana's hands. "Are you proposing, San?"
"It's a little big for that, Britt." Santana said, pushing the box into Brittany's open hands; "Besides, we're already married."
"I was only half serious." Brittany muttered
"I'd marry you again, anyway." Santana said; "But this is... This is to remind us that you're a star. And you had it. Everything you wanted. You made it happen."
Brittany quirked her eyebrow up; "San... What is this?"
"It's everything that happened. Things which... symbolize you. Your success." Santana explained
Brittany pushed the lid off the box; and gently took out several items. A newspaper article with Brittany's face on it, among the other dancers. A ticket to one of the shows. A couple of photos of Brittany and Kitty dancing and finishing tours. A ticket to the final of Brittany's degree; her final dance. A flier to an off-Broadway show that Brittany had a rather small part in the show.
Brittany looked up to Santana; "Why? When"
"I started it when you started at college. Just tickets to shows we went to... Before it became tickets to your show. I'm proud of you, Brittany. I know I didn't show it... But I have always been proud of you." Santana said; "I have always been proud of everything you've done. In College, and out of it. Your dancing was always part of you... And I never should have asked you to give it up."
Brittany placed the stuff back into the box; she placed the lid back on; "Thank you, for this."
"I'm gonna add more things in a different box... For anything you do that I'm proud of." Santana replied
"Thank you." Brittany said
Santana leaned forward and pecked Brittany's cheek lightly; "You're my star, Britt. You always have been."
Brittany giggled, reaching forward to place her hands on Santana's waist, pulling her into a soft kiss. Popping her lips when they pulled away, a shy smile appearing on her face; "You're cute. You're my star too."
Santana crinkled her nose before pressing her hands firmly against Brittany's shoulders; she slipped them down to slide down her back. "You're too sweet to me."
"Nope." Brittany murmured, letting a small giggle; "I'm just in love, San."
Santana ever so gently sat on Brittany's lap, wrapping her arms around her neck. Releasing a sigh in the crook of Brittany's neck before kissing just above the slope towards her shoulder. "I love you... So much."
Brittany hummed in agreement, stroking her fingers along the hem of Santana's t-shirt; "I love you too."
Santana scratched her nails against the back of Brittany's neck; "Things will be better between us, Britt. I know I can't promise you that, but I'm in such a better place. I know that I would do anything in order to keep things happy for you, for us."
Brittany leaned back to see Santana's face; "That means everything to me... That you're in a better place."
Santana smiled with a slight blush to her cheeks; before she frowned harshly; "I know you went through pretty much hell... I mean... I betrayed you."
"Santana, I'm... You didn't betray me. Please stop saying that. Can't we just forget it happened?" Brittany asked, rubbing her hands up and down Santana's upper arms; "Please... I have you back. And I don't wanna taint our relationship anymore."
Santana nodded
"Thank you." Brittany whispered, brushing her lips against Santana's jawline; peppering light kisses against the untouched skin. She then released a sigh, letting her hands fall to the tops of Santana's thighs; rubbing her fingers into the skin through her jeans.
Santana sighed deeply, sadly; as she watched Brittany's fingers work into her skin over the denim material; she ran her thumb along Brittany's cheek.
"Britt, baby... We have to talk about everything. What I did..." Santana said softly, with a slightly pained expression; "I wish we could forget about everything but we can't."
Brittany nodded, but remained silent.
Santana sighed, shifting until she was sitting directly in front of Brittany. "I know you probably hated me... for the whole Fran thing. But we need to talk about this... Not talking about things got us into this position... And me being a complete idiot."
Brittany glanced up at Santana's face; before reluctantly nodding lightly.
"I get it. I do... I hate myself for doing it. I never should have done it." Santana replied, wiping her forehead; "I just need you to be honest about it. I need you to tell me the truth."
Brittany bit her bottom lip; before turning away from Santana.
"Britt, come on... We need to talk about this." Santana murmured, scratching the base of Brittany's neck
"I don't wanna talk about this." Brittany mumbled
Santana nodded
"I feel hurt, San. I felt blindsided." Brittany replied, running her fingers up and down Santana's back. "I felt... cheated that you couldn't even tell me that this was actually happening. That you were willing to see other people... behind my back."
Santana nodded, pressing her lips to the side of Brittany's head; "I know... I'm sorry, Britt."
"I just feel... like I lost you." Brittany mumbled
Santana nodded; "I should have talked to you... I know this. I treated you really badly... I know that you hate how I treated you."
"You shouldn't have done it. Not in that way." Brittany replied
Santana slipped off Brittany's lap; standing up and walking towards the window. Santana ran her fingers through her hair; "Britt, I know... I just... I felt like this was over. Love has never been our problem. It never has been."
Brittany looked up to the ceiling, releasing a deep breath; "Santana..."
"It should bother you, Britt. Everything about it should bother you." Santana snapped, from her position leaning against the window ledge
"Of course it bothers me, Santana." Brittany replied; "But if I think about it, if I dwell on it... It will destroy me. So I have to just accept it... Because I can't let it lose you."
Santana ran her fingers along the panes of glass in the window; "Britt, I want you to know that... Fran..."
"Santana, I want to be honest. I've tried to accept that it wasn't working with us... I have but..." Brittany started, rubbing the back of her neck; "Santana, you seeing someone else. It was like we were over... Like you were giving up on us."
Santana nodded, before turning back to look out of the window; "I guess I did... I couldn't trust you, I couldn't talk to you... So I did give up on us."
"And that's what I can't handle, Santana." Brittany said, standing up and walking towards Santana; placing her hand on the window pane besides Santana; "I hate the thought that you thought we were over. That you would willingly give up on us."
"It's not like that, Britt." Santana replied, turning to look at Brittany; "I never wanted to lose you, Britt... I just... I couldn't see us. Things between us just got so messed up... And I couldn't see us together anymore."
"You thought we were over? We married for forever, Santana." Brittany replied
"Sam hurt me, Britt. You hurt me. And I never thought that you would do that to me." Santana said, rubbing her hands together; "I just... Everything changed. I changed... I couldn't trust anything you said so I tested you. I put things there to see if you would fail... The seeing other people, I wanted to test if you'd choose me."
"I have always choose you, Santana. It just... It was you who chose someone else, Santana. You failed your own test. You chose her over me... And it hurts." Brittany whispered in response, her eyes searching Santana's; "I need to know that it won't ever get to that stage again. That you will talk to me before choosing to test me."
Santana nodded; "Britt, I made a mistake. I chose Fran because it was easier. She wasn't you, she could never hurt me like you did. But she could never love me like you... And that's why I had to fight for you. Because I will always want you, I will always love you, baby. I know I fucked up but... I'll be more honest, I'll talk to you about everything that is bothering me. I promise."
Brittany placed her hand on Santana's lower back, gently pushing her closer; "Then... I can deal with everything. As long as you won't give up on us and that you're honest... I can deal with everything else."
Santana nodded, running her fingers down Brittany's forearm; before entwining their fingers together; "I love you..."
Brittany smiled softly, wrapping her arms around Santana's neck, kissing the side of her head; "I love you too."
"I will never give up on you, on us... I promise." Santana murmured against the side of Brittany's neck, whilst scratching her fingers along the base of her neck. "I am... I'm gonna talk to you, Britt. About everything."
Brittany nodded, with a small smile; "Thank you."
Santana nodded in agreement before kissing Brittany's shoulder. Santana then ran her fingers down Brittany's forearm; gaining her attention; "I know this is probably the wrong time to ask this... but I want us to renew our vows. I just... I love you, I always have, always will... And I want us to make a new commitment to each other."
"You want to do that?" Brittany asked
"Yeah, maybe sometime this year or next... Whenever we want. I just want our families, our friends to see that I'm committing myself to you... That this... Us is forever." Santana explained, squeezing Brittany's hand; "I want us to renew our vows. I thought maybe you'd like the idea."
"I love the idea, Santana." Brittany replied softly; "I just... I would love to stand in front of our friends and family... and renew my love for you."
Santana smiled happily as Brittany cupped her cheek, wetting her lips; Brittany leaned in to gently kiss Santana.
"I love you." Brittany murmured
"I love you too." Santana murmured in response before pressing her lips back to Brittany's parted ones.