hey guys, thanks a lot for the reviews,views, favorites and follows, it really means a lot. I really hope you enjoy this chapter and I hope you enjoy this story:) P.s if you haven't heard the song before you should listen to it, it's like my favourite song at the moment.
chapter 5: not cool
I'm at the BAU bored out of my mind. I decide to start swinging on my dads chair when the team finally come out of the conference room. I'm waiting for dad to take me home. The team start walking down the ramp so I decide to get up and meet them. I'm nearly at dad when he collapses. He's grabbing his chest and his breathings heavy, then he passes out.
"Help him!" I scream so loud at the team that my throat hurts.
"It's too late Stella, he's dead." Says hotch. The team just seem to be standing there. I start to cry, I can't loose my dad he's all I have left.
"Please help him, I don't have anyone else I don't want to be alone." I scream, tears flowing heavily down my face.
"I'm sorry Stella but he's dead. Your alone." Derek says in mono tone. I collapse by his body and try shaking him. I feel empty, I feel alone, I feel unloved. I feel like a black cloud has engulfed me, but I have no one to care about me so I remain trapped.
"You can't leave me." I scream again . One of the team tries to pull me away from him but I push them off.
"Stella, Stella." I hear one of them say. I'm so engrossed in my feelings I don't hear who it is. They shake me so hard that I fall on the floor and I hit my head. Suddenly my vision goes black and the BAU is gone.
I wake up sweating and panting hard. Dads standing over me looking worried. Just the sight of him makes tears well up in my eyes. I throw myself at him and give him a bone crushing hug.
"I love you dad." I said still panting.
"You okay, you were having a pretty bad nightmare. You kept screaming." Dad said worried.
"I'm fine, I probably ate too much before I went to bed." I said trying to get off the topic.
"We'll your not wrong there. Did you know that if you eat before you go bed it can increase the metabolism causing the brain to become more active when you sleep, causing nightmares." Dad said rambling. I didn't listen, he did this a lot and I was still trying to get over the dream.
"It wasn't about your mum stel?" Dad said breaking me out of my trance.
"Um no it wasn't." I said quietly.
"Wanna talk about it?" He asked softly. I took time to answer this question, as much as it upset me I felt that if I told him what happened then it would take a slight weight off my shoulders. I nodded.
"I-I was in the BAU. I was waiting for you to come out of the conference room. Eventually you and the team did and when I went over to you, you collapsed. The team just stood there, they wouldn't help you. They kept saying it was to late. I didn't want you to leave me like mum did, I didn't want to be alone. Derek said that you were gone and I was all alone. I felt so empty and unloved. I didn't want to loose you dad." I spoke quietly. I wasn't looking at dad so he couldn't see that I was crying.
"Stella, I'm not going anywhere for now. If anything were to ever happen to me, you will never be alone okay. You have the team to look after you and trust me they all care about you deeply." Dad said gently pulling me into a hug.
"I know." I mumbled into his chest.
"Now come on, I think you need some sleep." He said wiping my eyes.
"Oh yeah, Derek's coming for me at 10.30." I sniffed.
"When did you arrange this?" Dad said confused.
"He called me yesterday." I said, making sure my eyes where completely dry.
"Oh that's good, where's he taking you?" Dad asked.
"He said it was a surprise." I lied.
"Typical Derek." Dad muttered. I smiled. "You should get some sleep then stel. If you ever want to talk about anything I'm always here."
"I love you dad." I said before I buried my face in my pillow.
"Love you to stel." Dad said, leaving my room. I buried myself in my duvet and let the darkness take over.
I awoke to the smell of coffee and a fry-up. Groggily I rubbed my eyes and got up out of bed. Looking at my clock I saw it was 9.30. This was good because it meant I had an hour until Derek would pick me up. I walked out to the kitchen where dad had breakfast ready for me. On the table was a fresh pot of coffee and a plate full of eggs, bacon and sausages.
"I thought you said you couldn't cook." I said surprised.
"Trust me, this is as good as it gets." Dad said smiling.
"Well thank you." I replied, tucking in quickly. I poured myself a large cup of coffee and drank it rather quickly, letting the black liquid warm my insides.
"See your still a coffee addict." Dad said rolling his eyes.
"You can't talk, you drink more than me." I cried. Once I finished my first cup I decided to pour myself another just to annoy dad. He didn't mind me drinking coffee, he just wasn't to keen on me having to much of it. I leant over the table to grab the coffee pot and poured myself another cup.
"You know you shouldn't lean over the table, it's impolite and you'll knock something over." Dad warned.
"I'm not that clumsy." I lied. I'm probably the most clumsiest person ever.
"Really, so when you tripped over your own feet and broke your arm, that wasn't clumsy. Or the time when you walked into a glass door and needed 10 stitches in your forehead, or the other time when-"
"I get the picture." I interrupted. Leaning over the table to annoy dad I got the ketchup. However I completely forgot that I refilled my coffee cup and knocked it over. I tried to catch it but the boiling hot coffee ended up spilling all over my bare legs and smashed on the floor.
"Shit." I screamed. Running to the bathroom so I could pour cold water on my legs. Once I got to the bathroom I took off the shower head and poured the freezing water on my burning legs. The coldness soothed by legs and the redness began to fade. Luckily the coffee had been sitting in the table for a good 5 minutes so wasn't to hot. Once my legs stopped burning I gently dried them off and walked back to the kitchen. Dad had already cleaned the broken glass and moped up the coffee.
"Sorry." I said getting back to my breakfast. Dad hasn't heard me swear before, so I'm guessing this may be a bit of a shock to him.
"Just mind the language stel. Is your leg alright?" Dad asked looking at it.
"Yeah it's fine now and I'm sorry I'll try to control myself." I said slightly embarrassed. I finished the rest of my breakfast, then got ready. I'd only packed three outfits and my pjs. In the end I opted for a pair of jeans and my turquoise jumper along with my white converse. I tied my hair into a messy bun and waited in the living room for Derek to come. While I was waiting I thought I'd draw for a bit. I grabbed my sketch book and a pencil out of my drawing set and decided to doodle. I also put in my headphones, I hardly used my phone for texting it mainly had my music on. I was in the middle of drawing the team when my favorite song came on. I instantly turned it up to full volume and starting singing to 'of monsters and men, little talks'. I missed my guitar, at home I'd sing to this song non-stop whilst playing my guitar. When it came to singing I didn't mind belting out tunes in the shower but when it came to performing on stage, I just couldn't do it. I had no confidence and I'd always mess up so I just didn't bother. When the song finished I carried on with my sketch. So far I'd drawn an overly stern looking Hotch, a girly girl JJ, a fierce Emily, a flashy Morgan, a nerdy dad, a sleek gangster Rossi and a rather over the top Garcia. I was about to add Henry as superman when there was a tap on my shoulder. I pulled out my headphones and looked up to see both Derek and dad laughing at me.
"What?" I asked confused.
"Nice singing." Derek smiled.
"Nice drawing." Dad smirked.
"Oh shut up the pair of you." I said embarrassed, I quickly closed my sketch book.
"I'm serious you can draw, and your voice. Mini reid why didn't you tell me you could sing." Derek said smiling.
"Simply because I can't." I said getting up.
"Don't lie stel, you've been singing since you've been able to talk. Did you also know she can play the guitar too." Dad said almost boasting.
"Oh really. Your going to have to give us a private concert." Derek said intrigued
"In your dreams. Can we go now?" I said annoyed.
"Anything for you your highness." Derek said mockingly. I punched him hard in the stomach.
"Jeez you punch hard. Remind me not to mess with you again." He said clutching his stomach.
"Right call me when your on your way home, I'll see you later." Dad said giving me and hug. "Be good and be safe."
"When am I not." I joked before Derek and I headed to the door."Love you dad." I called.
I fired. The shot missed by miles, I could tell. We'd been at the shooting range for half an hour and I hadn't hit the target once.
"I'm no good at this Derek." I moaned.
"You just need to keep at it. Your not feeling it Stella." Derek said, trying to encourage me.
I held the gun up again and aimed it at the target. I breathed in and fired. I fired three times. Even though I was aiming straight not one of the bullets hit the target.
"It's not working." I moaned again, I was getting frustrated.
"Your not feeling it. It's probably because you've not felt genuine anger before." Derek sighed. I knew he was playing mind games but it still annoyed me.
"Your a jerk Derek. I know what your doing with your stupid mind games." I said nearly shouting. All the anger I felt about my mum leaving me, exploded inside of me and I fired the gun until I ran out of bullets. I looked up to see that each bullet had hit the target.
"Not bad mini Reid." Derek said smiling.
"Don't call me that and you don't know a thing about how I feel." I shouted at him.
"Care to tell me." He replied softly.
"I'm angry. I'm angry because my mum died and she shouldn't of. My mum was one of the kindest people I know yet she had to be taken away from me. I'm scared as well. What if the same thing happens to me or dad and I'm left all alone. What if I grow up to be one of those children who are parent less and have no one to care about them. What will I do then." I said very quickly.
"Woah, woah, woah, calm down Stella. I get it your angry. Bad things usually happen to the best of people but there's nothing we can do about it. Also your not alone Stella. I can't say what will happen in the future but trust me that you have a whole group of people who care for you dearly and wouldn't let you be alone." Derek said softly.
"I know. I just worry." I said sadly. I looked away from him and stared at the target board to stop me from crying.
"I know you do. But remember that we will always be here for you." Derek said with a smile.
"I know." I said returning the smile.
"Now would you like to carry on shooting for a bit, then we can go get something to eat. Or would you just like to get something to eat?" Derek asked.
"I don't mind. I wish I could shoot like that." I said pointing to whoever's target sheet was next to me. Each bullet had hit the target sheets head or heart.
"That person has serious skill." Derek admitted.
"I know. But if you don't mind I'd like to just call it a day." I said.
"Fine by me. We can come back another day maybe." Derek suggested.
"I'd like that." I said as I packed up my things and we headed out of our area. As we were leaving I peaked into the booth next to us to see who it was who had such an excellent shot. To my surprise it was Henry. Derek happened to be following my glance and he was pretty shocked to.
"God I never knew that kid could shot." Derek said amazed. Both of us headed towards the booth and knocked on the glass door. Henry had just finished a round and turned around shocked.
"Oh um hey Derek hey Stella." He stuttered, embarrassed.
"Henry why didn't you tell me you could shoot." Derek said firmly.
"I-um, well technically me coming down here is between dad and hotch and I wanted to keep it that way." He said.
"So your mum doesn't know." I smiled.
"Nope, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell her." Henry smiled.
"Okay, as long as you don't tell Reid Stella's here." Morgan warned.
"Sure, I didn't think spencer would approve of you being here." Henry joked.
"I don't approve of you being here. What about your knuckles your suppose to be taking it easy." I said sternly.
"It's not my shooting arm though." Henry said trying to convince me.
"Still, if I catch you doing anything else risky, then I'm afraid I'm going to have to tell your mum, superman" I joked.
"You wouldn't dare." Henry challenged.
"Try me." I said back.
"Break it up you two and stop flirting." Derek joked.
"We're not flirting." We both said simultaneously.
"Sure." Derek laughed.
"Derek we are leaving." I stated dragging him away.
"Bye Henry." Derek waved.
"Not cool, Derek, not cool." I said sternly after Henry was out of ear shot.