Hey guys thanks so much for being patient. I hope you like this chapter from Reid's point of views and just to let some people know chapter 13 isn't the authors note anymore, so do read it. thank you all again so much and I hope you enjoy:)

chapter 14: anger

Spencer's POV.

Stella went to answer the door when it rang. I was in no fit state to welcome Morgan and Emily and if they even saw me like this all they would do is profile me. Walking over to the sink I decided to splash some water in my face to help a little with how red and bloodshot my eyes were. I decided to take my time in doing this because Morgan and Emily were very good profilers and I'd really rather them not having a 'talk' with me. Deciding I'd composed myself enough I stepped out if the kitchen and walked down the hall to the front door. Emily and Morgan were happily talking to Stella and they seemed to be mid joke. I was so thankful that Stella had inherited kazias confidence, she just had a way of making friends with everyone. I fully entered, so everyone could see me. I'd obviously hadn't done as good enough job as I thought as Morgan and Emily looked at me shocked.

"Stella, help me unload some food I bought for later." Morgan said, even though he had a strict rule of not profiling each other, it was clear that everyone still did it anyway. I cursed myself inside my head. I hadn't done a good enough job in washing myself up and now Emily was going to talk to me as if everything was going to be alright. To my dismay, Stella profiled me to and followed Morgan out of the door, deciding to be weirdly quiet.

"Reid." Emily breathed, still looking at me slightly shocked.

"Is it really that bad." Was the only thing I could think of saying.

"Just tell me everything your feeling okay. Morgan's got Stella so she won't know anything you say and I promise it will all be in confidence." Emily said kindly. My mind instantly jumped at this offer. I'd been feeling so many emotion lately that it had gone into a slight override. However, my heart told me not to. Some of the things I felt were personal and I didn't want to share them with Emily. Other things I was too ashamed with myself for even thinking.

"I, I, um it's just that." I started off, completely struggling for words.

"Reid, just tell. Just close your eyes and let everything you feel flow out off your tongue." Emily said as soothingly as possible.

"I, I'm angry. I'm angry that kazias gone and I'm left alone with Stella. I love Stella more than anything in the world and she's amazing it's just if I was in my own I think it would be a helluva lot easier for me to grief. It's not fair that Stella has to grow up without a parent. Whilst other kids at school go I. About how much they hate their parents I know that Stella will secretly wish she has both of hers. I just feel so angry but I know that whatever I do will never bring back Kazia." I started Off. My voice increasing higher nd higher as I went in. By the time I'd finished I felt got anger inside my and I was in the verge if exploding.

"Reid, everything your feeling is perfectly understandable. If you want me and morgan can take Stella off you for a couple of days so you can get your head together. I know your angry but when you feel like this you have to say something otherwise it will all bottle up and you'll loose it completely and you really can't afford to do that around Stella." Emily said, patting my shoulder. What I had told her obviously affected her as she had gleaming tears in her eyes.

"Thank you." Was all I managed to say. After finally telling someone about the rage I felt, it lifted a huge weight off my shoulders and I suddenly felt sad again. All the anger I felt had replace the sadness, bBut now that was gone all that remained was raw sadness. Without realizing my eyes puddled over and droplets of water ran down my face.

"Reid, ssh it's alright." Emily said, hugging me softly.

"I'm sorry, it's just she's really gone and I'm really going to have to say goodbye to her aren't I. I'm not ready Emily, I'm nto ready to let go." I sobbed.

"Reid, just because your saying goodbye doesn't mean your letting go." Emily said gently.

"I know, but sometimes it feels like it." I said, still heavily sobbing.

"I know, but you mustn't forget her. Ever okay. Keep her memory alive Reid, that way you'll never truely let go." Emily said wisely. Emily was right. I should really keep her memory alive. Slowly I lifted my head from her shoulder and tried my wet face.

"thank you Emily, your always there and I appreciate it." I said. My voice had somehow managed to even out a little.

"Anytime." Emily said with a smile. Just then I heard two cars pull up. I knew straight away what they were and my heart sank a little.

"Reid! Emily." Came Morgan's stressed voice. I didn't have anytime to react before he burst into the door with a limp Stella in his hands.

"What happened." I said nearly shouting.

"She passed out, she saw the hursts and completely freaked." Morgan said, I could tell that he was trying his very hardest to keep calm.

"Lie her on the sofa." I said, calming down a little. "She's um just in shock, just give her time to come to."

"I'll go get her a glass of water." Emily said leaving the room. I sat down next to Stella and quickly did a once over check. She definitely was just in shock as there was no sign to show anything serious. This made me relax but only a little. I clapsed her hand in mine and rubbed it a little. Sometimejet his helped when people passed out, making them feel pressure usually brought them to again.

Stella's eyes eventually flickered and I started to breath a little more.

"dad." She groaned, holding her head.

"decided to take a nap did we." I said, trying lights male her feel a bit better.

"yeah, I thought I'd get Derek to carry me." She said sarcastically.

"here, drink this." Emily sod passing her the water. Stella slowly sat up and sipped it.

"Not to fast mini reid, you'll get dizzy." Derek warned.

"I'm fine honestly." Stella sad embarrassed.

"we know, just don't do anything like that again." I said hugging her tightly.