Words : 1,438

Warning: Self-harm, May Trigger

Narcissa was trying to keep her emotions in check for her only son. They had a few more exchanges of letters since the night that she and her husband went on that date. Lucius had also been called away for work and for The Dark Lord. He hated to leave her but he knew he had to. She struggled with him leaving and although she tried hard not to hurt herself, it sometimes got the better of her.

They had recieved Draco's letter, addressed to both Lucius and Narcissa. He had written a short scribbled note with the words, I did it! Narcissa felt dread enter her body as her husband left her side to go get ready. She hoped she still had a couple of hours with her husband.

Narcissa followed Lucius from the sitting room and into their bedroom. Lucius had laid out his mask and robe on the bed. "Lucius," Narcissa said, "what is going to happen tonight?"

"Well, were going to invade Hogwarts through a vanishing cabinet at Borgin and Burkes. Draco has one last task to complete at Hogwarts tonight." Lucius said not looking up from his robes.

"Will you two please be careful?" she said as she walked up to him.

"I told you, we always will be."

"I've got to get going to Knockturn Alley now. I'll be around there until I feel the dark mark. I love you, Cissy." he said kissing her quickly.

Lucius magically shrunk his mask and robes and put them in his pocket. He looked at her one last time before he disapparated with a loud crack.

Narcissa didn't want to worry about her boys. 'They will be fine,' she told herself. She busied herself throughout the day with around the house chores. As midafternoon turned to evening and evening turned to night, Narcissa could feel her stress and anxiety levels about her husband and son start to rise.

o.O

She hated not being able to know what was going on. She wanted to know if Draco and Lucius were safe and doing what they were supposed to.

Narcissa was sitting on a sofa as night turned to morning. She watched through the window as the sun started to rise. Streaks of pinks and oranges and yellows lined the blue sky. She didn't know what else to do. She was so stressed and worried. What if Draco and Lucius got hurt? What if the other side had their forces ready? What if the Dark Lord got angry? He wouldn't think twice about killing the two people that meant the world to her. She got out her wand and held it up to her wrist. She ran in along her wrist and watched as the crimson liquid pour out.

It was different this time. She did feel the relief immediately. She was no longer stressing about her son and husband at Hogwarts; however, she wasn't exhausted like she usually was. She made another cut and realized she just wanted to keep cutting. This worried her.

She ran her wand over her arm again and again. More cuts were made and more ruby red blood flowed. This time she got really worried. She wasn't exhausted or even remotely tired. She felt like she could keep cutting until her boys got home.

Narcissa jumped up and ran to the bathroom. She stuck her hand under the faucet and ran ice cold water over her cuts. She let out a yell as the water touched her wrist. That was when she started crying, more from pain than from her emotions.

She looked in the mirror at her teatstained face. Narcissa was paler than she had ever seen herself before and she looked absolutely miserable. She slowly sank to the floor leaving the water running above her. "I don't want to do this anymore." she sobbed to herself. Although she had rinsed off her arm, some of the cuts were still leaking blood, smearing with the water on her wet wrist. She stayed like that for what felt like hours.

All of a sudden she heard three loud cracks. A million thoughts ran through her head. Could they be Draco and Lucius returning home from their mission? Then why three? Or could they be ministry officials coming to tell her hat Draco and Lucius were killed? Or locked up in Azkaban?

Narcissa slowly stood up as she ran her arm under the cold water again. She hissed in pain and turned the water off. She made her way out of the bathroom and down to the kitchen, where she heard the voices were coming from. She felt very weak, using one hand to balance herself on the wall. She moved her other hand very gingerly, trying not to irritate any of her cuts.

A bit of relief swept over her when she heard Draco's voice, and that he was talking in a happy tone. She slowly made her way through the door and three men looked over at her. She felt so happy to see Draco, Lucius and Snape standing around the counter having a drink.

"Narcissa." Snape gasped. "You look awful."

"I'm fine, Severus." she replied walking up to the counter. "I just haven't slept."

"Lucius," Snape said, "can I go get her a potion or something?"

Narcissa chimed in before Lucius could answer. "I'm fine. I really don't need anything. So tell me, how did it go?" she asked with a smile.

Draco had yet to say anything, while Lucius and Severus had looked excited when Narcissa walked in, Draco had had, and still had a somber expression on his face.

"Don't listen to her," Lucius said to Severus, "could you run and get her a blood replenishing potion? She needs that for sure, and anything else you think she might need. "

"Of course." Severus said and with a loud crack he was gone.

"Lucius, I'm fine." Narcissa said grabbing his hand.

Draco was looking at her with an odd expression. Narcissa couldn't tell if it was because of her or what happened at Hogwarts.

"Did you..?" Draco asked, but Lucius answered.

"Why don't you go get some rest and well all talk later today."

Draco said nothing but left the kitchen. There was a loud crack and Severus was back in the kitchen with a few bottles.

"I brought a blood replenishing potion, a healing potion, and a dreamless sleep potion since it looks like you're in need of some sleep. Where did Draco go?" Snape said to Narcissa and Lucius.

"Thank you Sev." Narcissa said to him. "Draco found out about my cutting. He's not handling it so well."

"Why don't you let Lucius deal with him and take these potions. You'll feel a hell of a lot better when you wake up." Severus said.

"I told Draco we would all talk later." Lucius said.

"Oh. I see." Snape said. "Do you want me to come back this evening. After you've had a chance to sleep and talk?"

"Ye.." Lucius started but Narcissa interuptedd. "No, Sev. You and Lucius have a drink. I'm just going to go lie down upstairs. Thank you for bringing me these potions."

"It was my pleasure." Severus said.

Narcissa left the kitchen and made her way back to her room. She went into her bathroom and put the potions on the counter. Narcissa looked up at her face. It looked pale and there were dark circles under her eyes. She didn't like the reflection staring back at her. She looked down at the potions Severus had brought her. She didn't want to drink them, but she knew she should. Especially after how she felt while she was cutting this time. She slowly put the first bottle to her mouth. As soon as she swallowed the small gulp she immediately felt better. The color slowly returned to her face. Narcissa picked up the second bottle. This was the one she debated about taking the most. She cut to escape, so she should have to deal with the pain of the cuts healing, right? She knew that all three of the men in the house wanted her to take the potion. Debating taking the potion she held it up to her mouth for a few seconds before swallowing. Narcissa appreciated the last potion the most. She knew she needed sleep, but couldn't bring herself to actually fall asleep let alone stay asleep. Narcissa brought the potion to her mouth, swallowed it in one gulp and made her way to her bed. She didn't even bother to get underneath the covers before falling asleep.

A/N: I'm sorry it's been so long since an update! I've been super busy with schoolwork and such. I hope you all are still enjoying it. My beta was a bit confused about the events of this chapter so I'm gonna make sure you all understand this.

This chapter starts around afternoon, once Lucius gets Draco's letter, he goes to wait for the call from Voldemort. They invade the school, as they do in Half Blood Prince, during the evening as Dumbledore and Harry arrive back from getting the horcrux. Narcissa stays up all night, worrying about Lucius and Draco. When they come back, with Severus, it is around 7 AM. Lucius sends Draco to bed, telling him that they will talk later, aka that afternoon/evening, after they all get some sleep. Narcissa tells Lucius and Severus to have a drink as she goes to take the potions Severus brought for her, and she goes to bed.

Well I hope you all understand better now (: and if you don't let me know. And if anyone has any ideas I'll gladly listen to them. Let me know what you guys think!