Place of the Lost
A/N: This chapter is fluffy but important! Hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: Twilight and all of its Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer
Chapter 17: A True Friend
EPOV:
After Jacob left I spent the entire night in deep contemplation. I strolled by the river, surrounded by the haunting sounds of the night forest and the peaceful rhythm of rushing water. I kicked a stone along the bank, and watched the white rock roll as it glistened in the moonlight. As usual, I was worried about Bella: worried that she hadn't understood my note, worried that she was distraught, and most of all worried that she had moved on. If I was going to give her a choice, it wasn't fair to let her think I was dead. I had to send a message to her somehow and tell her to wait on me. I wouldn't explain anything yet, but just tell her that I was alive, and I loved her. I wished I had never sent that letter in the first place. It had to hurt Bella, I know it did. Even if she did know something about it was suspicious, it would have still been painful for her. She was probably going to be angry at me about that, but I couldn't blame her. I shouldn't have tried to placate Carlisle, he wasn't my father. I didn't have to listen to him.
That's what I would do today. I'd find Jacob, ask for some paper and a pen then I'd write a letter to Bella. He would mail it for me, he wasn't mad about yesterday anymore. His hand probably felt better today. When I made that decision it was like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. The fact that Bella probably thought I was dead was a burden I couldn't hardly stand to bear. It felt so good to finally be doing something for her, something that would make her happy. Or was it just something that would make me happy? I couldn't allow myself to think like that, Bella would be happy that I was alive.
The morning mist was beginning to settle on the mountain. It laid heaviest over the river, giving it the appearance of a still river of clouds. I was starting to love the fog, it reminded me of sleep. Or maybe not sleep exactly, but the groggy period between sleep and waking. It was the time when the body was deathly still and relaxed, and thoughts were hazy half dreams that flowed slowly like thick honey. I liked to lay on the wet grass of the river bank, letting the mist wash over me. It wasn't cool to me like it would have been on my old skin, but the dampness was refreshing. It deadened my sharp senses, and made me feel almost human again.
Rays of sunlight started to streak through the fog. One beam fell upon me and lit my granite skin aglow. I stared at the sparkling flesh on my pallid arm. Grimacing, I had to move into the shade. I was disgusting, all of the ever so endearing qualities of Dracula, in Frankenstein's body. How could Bella ever love this?
Soon the smell of breakfast began to rise up out of the valley, and I wouldn't have to wait long to speak to Jacob. I was so excited about writing the letter to Bella, that I wanted to run to his house the second the sun came up. But after the look Billy gave me the first time I came to his house, I figured it was better to lay low. I didn't want to stir up any trouble, or give Jacob any reason to resent me. I hoped he wouldn't talk about me to his father at all. But I'm sure Billy had warned him about me, what kind of father let his son befriend strange vampires in the woods? I chuckled at the preposterousness of the thought.
I silently made my way to the edge of the forest and found a shady place to sit until I could find Jacob. I thought I could see smoke rising from his rock chimney just over the ridge, but I couldn't be sure if that was coming from his cabin. I sat there picking damp blades of grass, and splitting them in my fingers for at least an hour. Finally I caught the familiar scent of wet dog. I spotted Jacob walking up the road, cane pole in hand, and a determined look on his face. I wondered if he ever caught anything, or if he just fished for the therapeutic benefits.
I shouted his name through the clearing fog, "Jake!" He looked up and motioned for me to come over. I put my hands in the wet grass and lifted myself off the ground. My clothes were damp from spending the entire morning in the mist. My pants clung to my legs uncomfortably as I moved. I was sprinting towards him, making it to his side in a flash. He looked somehow different today, taller and more muscular, but that was impossible. Maybe my eyes and memory were better than I thought. Maybe I could perceive minuscule changes in someone's height? Either that or I was imagining things. I skidded through the grass to his side.
His eyes were wide and his heart pounding, "God Edward, you've got to stop doing that."
I smirked, "Sorry, I need a favor."
He scowled, "Well good morning to you too, buddy." He was right, that was rude of me but this was important.
"Good morning Jake. I'm sorry for forgetting the usual pleasantries, but I've decided to write Bella a letter. I was wondering if you'd let me barrow some paper and a pen."
He smiled, "You're going to tell her now?"
"No, I can't yet. That has to be done in person; she'd never believe it in a letter."
"That's true; she'd think you were being cruel."
I smirked, "Kind of like you?"
"Yes, exactly. So what are you going to go tell her?"
"Just that I'm alive and I love her."
"Aww… aren't you sentimental?"
"Shut up. I just don't want her to worry. So will you mail it for me?"
"Yeah, no problem. Here I'll go get the paper and pen now. Dad is probably still making up the beds. I can sneak into the kitchen. I don't feel like lying to him this morning."
I rolled my eyes, "Yeah lying is hard work."
He grinned, "You would know." He leaned his pole against and rock and turned to walk back down into the valley. Jacob was being so nice about this. I was glad to see that he didn't resent me, even after yesterday.
I leaned against a boulder by the river and waited for him to return. He was back much quicker than I expected. "Edward!" He shouted as he neared the river. I looked in his hands, he wasn't carrying anything no paper, no pen. Maybe he had it in his pocket.
He had a strange look on his face, very thoughtful. "Where's the paper?" I asked.
He smiled, "I changed my mind." Something glinted in his eyes. I furrowed my brows. His thoughts told me that he wasn't mad, but that he was hiding something from me. "What do you mean? You're not going to mail the letter for me?"
He smirked, "No."
"So what are you going to do?"
A wide grin broke out across his face, "Edward, I want to go to Chicago for you."
My chin nearly hit the floor. Why would he want to do that? "What?" was the only word I could utter.
"I've been meaning to get out of Jocassee for a while. Dad said it would be good for me to travel. We've been talking about it for weeks. When you asked me that, I realized that this was my opportunity. I could go to Chicago. I'll talk to Bella, and try to explain this to her. I'll tell her you're alive and you love her. Oh but maybe you should still write a letter for me to give to her. She'll probably think I'm crazy."
I was astonished. He really wanted to do this for me. He wanted to help. "Jake… I don't know what to say. I can't believe you'd do this for me."
"Really, it's no trouble at all. It's damn hot down here, a little trip up north won't hurt anything." "How will your dad get along without you?"
"He can take care of all of the household things, and his friend, Harry Clearwater, said a while ago that he would help him with the crops if I wanted to get away for a while."
"But Jake, I don't think that Chicago is safe right now. What about the influenza? I don't want you getting sick too."
"Don't worry, I won't stay in the city long. Maybe just a night or two so I can tell Bella about you. After that it's off to see Cincinnati, Detroit and New York."
"Well you sound like you have it all figured out."
"Yeah, I'm really excited about it. I'm leaving tomorrow." I let out an audible gasp, "Tomorrow!"
"Yeah, isn't it great. I'm going to go home and pack right now. Well first I'll need to talk to my dad, but I don't think he'll have a problem with it."
"So what? I'll just give you her address and you'll talk to her for me, just like that…"
"Yeah, it's really no problem. I'll send you a letter after I speak with her, if you want."
"That would be great, I really want to know how she's doing." That was so far away from how I actually felt about her. I was physically aching to hear from that girl.
"Well, I'll run home and get your paper and pen. Then you can tell me exactly what you want me to relay to Bella." He turned to walk away. I smiled widely, this was great. I wasn't only going to get to send Bella a letter, but I'd have a friend there. Someone would be by her side to tell her that it was true, to explain to her that only these crazy and impossible circumstances could keep us apart. Things were working out better than I could have ever hoped.
Jacob returned quickly, this time carrying a white sheet of paper and a pen in his hand. "Here you go." He handed me the items and I found a rock with a flat top. Jacob stood over me as I wrote.
"What are you doing?" I asked as he stared at me.
"I just want to know what it says, so I can know what I have to explain. Do you want me to tell her about all the vampire stuff?"
"Only if she really prods you, but don't give in easy. Just tell her what I'm writing is true, and that I'll be back for her when I can."
"No problem, I don't know how I'd explain the vampire thing anyway." "Me either, and I don't want you to have to deal with that. That's something I'll have to do for myself." He nodded. I began to write. My Dearest Bella, I can't find the words to adequately explain my situation in a way that you could understand. I just want you to know that I love you, and I'm not dead. I didn't know how true that last part was, but I wasn't dead in the sense that she would understand it. I'm sorry for lying to you in my last letter, and I deeply regret any pain that it might have caused you. Trust me it is only the most impossible of circumstances that keeps me from you now. I will be back for you Bella as soon as it is safe, and I will explain everything. If you have any questions, you can ask my friend Jacob, but I ask that you let me explain the nature of my condition when I get there. Take care of yourself in my absence. I'm thinking of you constantly. All my love, Edward.
"Aww." Jacob interrupted my writing.
"What do you think?" I asked.
He nodded. "Sounds good to me. Write her address on the back."
"Good idea." I folded the letter into thirds and scribbled Bella's address on the back. He took it from me and slipped it into his back pocket. "I don't know how to thank you enough for this Jake." "Really Edward, it's nothing. I told you before I was going to travel soon. This will just be another stop on my trip. I'm just glad I could do something to help. You're a good guy." I didn't have to read his thoughts to know that he was being sincere. Jacob really was a good person. The widow had been so wrong about us. Why should I let an ancient rivalry tear down the bonds of friendship?
"You're a good guy too Jake, and a true friend. I really appreciate everything."
"No problem Edward. Well I need to go pack; I've got quite a bit of traveling to do tomorrow."
"How long will it take you to get to Chicago?"
"At least two or three days. Probably more."
"All right, well be careful and have a good time."
"Don't say goodbye yet. I'll come find you tomorrow morning before I leave."
I smiled "I'd like that."
"You don't have to worry about Bella anymore Edward, I know it's been driving you crazy. I'll make sure she knows how you feel, and she'll wait on you. I'm sure she's missing you just as much as you are missing her. It'll be all right, I'll take care of things."
"Thanks Jake."
"Meet me tomorrow morning at dawn, by the sign." He said. I nodded in agreement and he turned to walk away. He didn't move with his usual slow strut, but instead he ran. He was really excited. I couldn't help but be happy for him. But I was more happy for myself, Bella was going to know the truth or at least half of it. What I considered the more important half, that I was alive and I loved her.
I walked back into the woods, now a whole day to kill by myself, but I should probably get used to that. Jacob was going to be gone for a long time. I wouldn't hear from him until he wrote me. I didn't know how he was going to do that. Address the letter to the Jocassee sign or a rock by the river. We'd have to work out that detail tomorrow.
Strolling by the river, I realized that it wouldn't be a bad time to hunt. Then if I got really stir crazy I could go talk to the widow or even try to go into the little town. It looked like a cloudy day. Maybe I could go into a store or something, as a test. If the temptation was too much, I could always leave. But I wasn't too worried if I could handle a night in Chicago then the general store with all of five people in it wouldn't be a problem. Who knows? Maybe their blood would smell like Jacob. I simultaneously cringed and felt relief at that thought.
But before I could even think of seeing people, I needed to hunt. This time I remembered to take my dingy shirt off before I even searched the air for the scent of a predator. I hung it on the tree over the river and scanned the landscape around me. There were deer in the vicinity. It wasn't exactly mountain lion, but it would do. I fell into a crouch and bounded through the forest. I was upon the little doe in a flash.
The animal cooled the fire but killing such an innocent creature was disheartening. I didn't think I'd ever get used to watching the light go out in a living thing's eyes. It was worse than feeling their heart stop, worse than hearing the last heavy heave of their chest. It was like seeing their soul fade. All the shock and terror left their expression and they were just…blank. I shuddered at the thought of the dead eyes of all the things I had killed, a human included.
I shook off the sick feeling that thought gave me and began to make my way back to the river. My shirt was hanging where I left it. That thing looked awful. It looked just like I had walked for days, swam a lake, and hunted mountain lions in it. At home, I took a lot of pride in my appearance. I never had the best, but my clothes were always clean and pressed.
I put the mutilated fabric over my bare chest and then reached into my back pocket. "Yes!" I exclaimed out loud. My wallet was still there. Alice had to have taken care of that because I had no idea what happen to it after I went to the hospital. It wasn't exactly at the forefront of my thoughts since I had changed. I pulled the crumpled leather out of my pocket. I hadn't even noticed it since I left. It was so flat in my back pocket I had assumed it was part of my pants. I opened the wallet. I had twenty dollars, enough to buy a new shirt and trousers. The money was crumpled and withering from the trip but it would still spend.
I looked up and checked through the trees…overcast. It was time for my big test. I walked to the widow's house and traveled down the little dirt road searching for the general store. It was hard to distinguish from the other little cabins. It was nothing but a few logs and a chimney. There were two rocking chairs on a little front porch and a rusted Coca-Cola sign. I stepped on the wooden planks of the porch and reached for the screen door. Taking two steps in it became obvious that the people in here did not smell like Jacob, or even the widow.
Their blood wasn't disgusting or withered and old. It was hot and pulsing, rushing through their veins with vitality. I looked around and saw a young woman behind the counter. She had brown hair and a big false smile. I met her gaze and she looked at me strangely. It took a second for me to realize what she was doing, I think she was attempting a seductive expression. Her painted red lips were pouting, and her eyes raced up and down my lanky frame. It wasn't working, I tried to look as uninterested as possible.
"Can I help you with anything?" She asked in a soft low tone.
"I think I can find what I need." She sighed in response. The store was a tiny one room shack. A few articles of men's clothing were visible in the back. I walked back there, the planks creaking under my feet. I searched through the shirts looking for my size. The best they had was one size larger than what I needed. It would have to do. It was brown, white just wasn't good for living in the woods. I removed it from the rack and then picked out a pair of dark jeans. At least they had my size.
Walking back towards the clerk, her face turned up into a wide grin. "Is that all you need to today." I nodded. "My name is Jessica." She licked her lips. "What's your's?"
"Um…Eh…Vladimir." I blurted out the fake name without thinking. Her eyes narrowed. She wouldn't understand my Dracula joke, but I couldn't help but chuckle
"That's a unique name. Nice to meet you." I handed her the money. "Don't worry about it, it's on the house."
I tried to be as insistent as possible. "I would appreciate it if you'd take the money."
"No, don't you worry your pretty little head about it."
I nodded and took the clothes in my hands, "Thank you miss."
"I hope to see you around, Vladimir."
I snorted loudly and rolled my eyes, "Bye bye." In my amusement I had almost forgotten my thirst. That was a good feeling, it meant that if I tried I could still be normal. I didn't want to kill her. In fact, I didn't want to be around her. This vacation of sorts was having a great effect on me.
I folded my new garments neatly over my arm and walked back up the road. When I reached my fire pit, I changed clothes and washed the old ones in the river. I built a quick fire and relaxed there until morning. The hot flames were mesmerizing. I loved to watch them dance in the night breeze.
Just before dawn broke, I walked to the sign to meet Jacob. He was there when I got there. He looked different again today. It was so strange, but I swear he looked slightly taller than the day before, but he was dressed different as well. No jeans or overalls today. He had on black trousers, and a pressed white button-up shirt.
A wide grin marked his bronze features. "Good morning Edward."
"Good morning Jake, ready to go?"
"Yeah, I can't wait. I haven't been out of the valley since I was a kid and that was only to visit my relatives in North Carolina." I chuckled, "Well be careful and have a good time." "I will and I'll send you a letter as soon as I talk to Bella."
"Oh yeah, I meant to ask you how I was going to get that." "I'll mail it to the general store, you can pick up down there." "Oh okay, well I'll check down there every few days and Jake…" "Yeah?" I smirked. "Address it to Vladimir."
He snickered lightly, "I'm not even going to ask. Well Vlad, I better get going."
"All right, have a good time." "I will." He replied.
"Thank you again, I really appreciate what you're doing for me."
"What are friends for?" With that he turned and walked away. He moved hurriedly into the distance and towards my Bella, his onyx hair fluttering behind him.
A/N: Oh Edward, didn't you read New Moon? Thanks for reading! Please review!