Place of the Lost

A/N: All right, so I've been losing sleep over this one. But I think I came up with something realistic, yet appealing to my sense of universal moral justice. :D Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: Twilight and all of its Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer

Chapter 20: The Surprise

BPOV:

The wind howled, flashes of lighting and loud rolls of thunder echoed through the house. Jacob's warm muscular frame hovered over me. I thought my heart was going to pound out of my chest. My thoughts were muddled and confused, clouded by intense lust. His crimson lips traced lines of kisses down my neck and onto my heaving chest. I moaned and writhed against him, desperate to be closer. His fingertips crept slowly up my thigh, sending chills of excitement through every nerve in my body.

A loud crash and the sudden shatter of glass startled me out of my lust filled stupor. A piercing scream of terror escaped my lips, and I instinctively clutched Jake tighter. He shielded my body from the millions of tiny shards of glass that rained down upon us. The patter of pouring rain filled the room.

"What the hell was that?" The words faltered over my ragged breaths.

Jacob turned his head and surveyed the gruesome scene. "Tree branch." He said quietly. Or maybe an act of God himself that prevented us from making a really stupid mistake? I was betting on my theory. "The wind must have broken it off and sent it through the window." He groaned loudly. "Are you okay?"

"Yes I think I'm all right. What about you?" Judging by his tone, I would have guessed no.

"I think my back is cut up pretty bad."

I sighed deeply. "Get up slowly, and we'll go down stairs. I'll bandage you there, unless you think you need to go to the hospital?"

"No hospitals!" He snapped. "I'll be fine. I'm a quick healer." I nodded. He slowly picked up one of his hands off the bed and shifted to the side; he grunted loudly as the glass cut deeper into his skin. I quickly slid out from under him. The moment my feet hit the floor a sick awkward feeling rose up in my stomach. All the lust gone, I was painfully aware of every inch of exposed skin. I walked quickly towards my dress that laid on the floor in a crumpled heap, covered in broken glass. I picked it up and shook the glass from it's wrinkles. The shards tinkered as they hit the hardwood. I knew there was a chance that there was still glass in the fabric, but anything was better than standing there in my underwear.

While I pulled my black dress back up over my body, I surveyed the damage both to the window and to Jacob. A leafy branch, nearly three feet long rested on the floor. Rain water poured from the broken window like blood from an open wound. Jacob didn't seem to be in much better shape. "Jake, that looks terrible. The cuts are pretty shallow, but you're bleeding everywhere. It's going to take forever to get all of the glass out." He let out a groan of frustration and misery, as he slid off the bed.

"Can you make it downstairs?" I asked in an understanding tone. He just nodded and started taking slow agonized steps toward the door. "Lie down on the couch. I'll be down there in a minute to help. I have to do something about the window." He didn't respond, just slumped over and kept walking. I ran to the linen closet and grabbed an old sheet and four towels. Entering the bedroom, I slid on my heels and walked hesitantly across the floor. Glass crunched under my feet with every step. I pulled the wet curtain from the rod, and threw it to the floor. I secured the sheet to the rod with clothes pins and hung it out the window, hoping that would stop the rain from pouring in. I threw the towels on the floor and stomped on them half heartedly. I really needed a mop and a broom, but that would have to wait. Jacob needed me.

I ran back to the bathroom, grabbed a wet rag, the peroxide, bandages and a pair of tweezers. I felt bad for him already; he was really going to suffer tonight. Rushing down the stairs, I nearly tripped in the heels. He lay on his stomach, back gushing blood and his features contorted into a painful grimace. I had never seen Jacob like that before. He always looked so strong; his voice so smooth and charismatic. But now he seemed so frail and weak. All his confidence and charm cracked under the relentless pressure of blood and pain.

I pulled the coffee table closer to the couch and sat on it, placing all of my instruments of torture by my side. "I'm really sorry Jake. This is going to be." I hesitated, "unpleasant."

"I'm not exactly enjoying it now." He growled. I grabbed the tweezers and plucked the first shard from one of his cuts. He winced and balled his hands into fists. When a cut was cleared of glass, I wiped away the blood then dribbled peroxide into the gash. He twitched and groaned with every touch.

After two solid hours of poking, prodding and pouring, I was finally done. Jake was covered in a thick sheath of sweat. His eyes were troubled and weary. "Jake." I whispered his name. "I need you to sit up. So I can wrap the bandages around you." He glared at me. "I'm sorry Jake." He turned over and slowly sat up, wincing at every tiny motion. I picked up the bandages and carefully wrapped them around his injured torso.

I couldn't help but think of how I was touching him just a few hours earlier. Then, even the slightest caress had been filled with passion and electricity. Now he winced and grimaced at my every touch. It was a cruel irony.

He wiped the sweat from his forehead, and licked his parched lips. "Bella, I'm sorry." His voice was nothing more than a whisper

"It's all right Jake." I replied. I was glad to see that he felt some remorse for what almost happened. We should have never let things get that far. We hardly knew each other, and I was no where near ready. I wasn't in love with him, that was becoming clearer by the second.

"I know, I hate it. I feel like I disappointed you." He reached his hand out to caress mine. "Bella I wanted to make love to you so badly." Passion flared in his eyes. "I just hate that it got interrupted."

I let out an audible gasp. I had misinterpreted his apology. "Jacob, don't take this the wrong way, but maybe it was a good thing that we got interrupted. I don't think I was ready for that."

He sighed, "Yeah, I know we just met, but Bella I've never felt like this about anyone before."

I rolled my eyes, "You don't even know me."

He took my chin in his hands and looked directly into my eyes. "I know you're beautiful, compassionate, kindhearted, intelligent and a great cook." He chuckled.

I blushed, but I couldn't let him charm his way out of this one. "It's just not right."

He furrowed his brows, "What's not right?"

"My heart still belongs to someone else, and I shouldn't use you as a distraction from my grief. It's not right." My voice began to crack as a lump rose in my throat.

"Bella, I know you're not over him." It was as if he couldn't bring himself to say Edward's name. "But I want you to know that I'll wait until you're ready." His eyes were understanding, but I could hear the urgency in the voice. He wanted me to be ready now.

"That's kind of you Jake, but I don't know how long that will be, and you don't even live here."

"I'd visit all the time, hell I'd move to be with you."

I giggled. "Jake! You've known me for two days!" I pleaded with him, but he was being unreasonable.

"I don't care! That's how strong my feelings for you are." He paused and took a deep breath. "I love you Bella."

"Jake, eh-I-I can't." I muttered the words under my breath.

His voice rose to a stern shout. "I know you can't, and I respect that, but I hope that one day you can." I just shrugged and tried to hold back tears.

"You should sleep down here tonight. I'll try to clean upstairs. Charlie can get someone to put in a new window tomorrow. It sounds like the rain has stopped. So, I'm hoping the floor isn't too…" His eyes told me he wasn't interested in what I was saying anymore. I had hurt him, but only because I was telling the truth. I couldn't keep using him as a distraction from my confusion and grief; it wasn't fair.

He faked a smile and nodded. "Good night Bella." He took my hand in his and planted a single kiss across my knuckles.

"Good night." It was barely a whisper. I slipped from his grasp, and grabbed the mop and broom as I headed upstairs. The floor was wet, but not as bad as I had expected. I stripped the bed, shook out the sheets, and swept up the glass. I mopped and dried the floor with towels into the early hours of the morning, but I didn't mind. I needed to tell Charlie about it when he got home anyway. My legs were nicked and bloody, cut on tiny stray shards, as I dried the floor on my hands and knees.

I guess that was my punishment, hours of tedious work and a little bloodshed. It was a small price to pay in exchange for saving my virginity from the snares of lust. Edward and I had been so patient and careful, trying to save ourselves for the right moment. It would have been terrible, not to mention incredibly stupid, to waste that on a smooth-talking stranger, especially when I still wasn't completely convinced of Edward's death. I had this nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach that I was missing something, some single clue that would shed light on the entire situation. It was overwhelmingly frustrating.

I was startled when I heard the front door creak, but then I remember that it was probably my father. I think he was making an effort to be quiet, but his big boots clunked brashly against each step as if they were filled with sand. He must have seen the light under the door, because I could hear him moving in my direction. There was a gentle knock on the door, "Jake? Are you still awake?"

"No, Dad it's me."

"Bells?" There was some noticeable anger in his voice, and the door flew open. I could tell that he was relieved to see me there alone. His eyes widened as his gaze passed over the window. "Oh my God, what happened? Are you all right?"

"Yeah dad I'm fine." I pointed to the branch that still laid in the middle of the floor. "That storm blew that thing through the window."

"Oh I see. Where is Jake?"

"He's on the couch, hopefully asleep. He was laying on the bed when it happened. I spent most of the evening picking shards of glass out of the cuts on his back."

"Is he all right? Do we need to take him to the hospital?"

"I asked him, and he said it wasn't necessary. I bandaged his entire torso. He'll be sore for a while, but he should be okay.

Charlie looked concerned, "Well I hope he'll be all right. I'll get someone to fix the window tomorrow." He turned and moved towards the door. "Get some sleep Bella; I have a surprise for you tomorrow."

I didn't like the sound of that. Charlie's surprises were always well intended but they just missed the mark. Like when I turned thirteen, and he got a clown to come to my party. He was so proud of himself. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I was embarrassed and too old for clowns. But at least Charlie was right about one thing, I needed sleep. My eyelids were heavy, and my limbs felt like jelly, but my mind was probably the most tired of all. Tonight had been a true emotional rollercoaster. I'd gone from passion, to fear, to regret, to relief. It was too much over just a few hours of time.

I abandoned my broom and towels, satisfied with the work I had done. I didn't even change into my nightgown; I just climbed under my covers in the black dress. I wanted to think; I wanted to concoct some sort of plan to find out about Edward, and not hurt Jacob, but my mind wouldn't work. I couldn't create coherent thoughts just cloudy meaningless pictures of Edward and Jacob laughing and joking…like friends. Sleep fell over me like a heavy black blanket.

"Bella…" Charlie's voice was soft. He knocked lightly on the door. "It's almost noon." I forced my eyes open. The room was washed in yellow sunlight that burned my bleary eyes.

"I'm awake dad. Sorry I slept so late."

"Oh no it's fine, I only woke an hour ago. We all had a late night last night. Come on downstairs, I've got something to tell you." A hint of excitement rang in his tone.

"I'll be there in a second." I lifted my hands above my head, stretched and groaned loudly. I put my feet on the floor and tried to feel for the zipper on my nightgown when I realized I was still wearing my black dress. This would have to do. My hair was matted and tangled from sleep, but I was too tired to care.

I walked down the stairs barefooted. Jacob was sitting on the couch in a white undershirt, clutching a pen in his right hand. The white shirt was a stark contrast to his russet skin. His bandages poked out awkwardly around his ribs. He raised his head and smiled when he saw me coming. I was surprised to see that Charlie's smile was even bigger. He sat in his leather chair, a wide grin plastered on his face.

"Have a seat Bells." He patted the spot on the couch beside Jacob. I moved slowly, still trying to shake the sleep from my mind. I sat down, and started to tap my fingers nervously on the arm of the sofa. "I was thinking last night about what I could do for you." Charlie said. "I know these last few weeks have been rough, and you've been cooped up in the house. So, I was thinking we should take a trip."

"What kind of trip?" I asked cautiously.

"Down south, I thought maybe you'd like to go to the coast. We could go to Savannah, Charleston and Wilmington. Jake here even agreed to change his travel plans. He wants to go with us. Isn't that great? You won't be stuck with me the whole time." He looked at me anxiously, waiting for me to gush with excitement.

I tried to muster some emotion, but weeks with Jacob, that could get complicated. "Um… Wow dad, that sounds great." I faked a smile, but Charlie was easy to fool.

"Well it's settled then. Oh and Jake, from what I could tell the railway to Charleston passes very close to your house. I'd love to meet your father and see the farm."

Jacob's eyes widened, and he gulped loudly, "Well, I mean my hometown…" He paused. "Isn't anything spectacular."

Charlie chuckled, "Nonsense, I'm sure it's great. I've always loved the outdoors." I rolled my eyes. I don't think catching a baseball game once a year at Wrigley Field counted as the outdoors. He didn't even plant flowers in the yard.

Jake nodded, "Well the outdoors is about all we've got there."

Charlie smiled. "I look forward to seeing it." He paused. "All right I better head out, and see if I can find someone to fix that window before it rains again." He sighed deeply.

"Good idea." I said. That was not a mess I wanted to clean up again. My father got up and walked out the door. Then it was just Jacob and I, sitting alone on the couch. "How are you feeling?" I asked him, sincerely concerned.

"Better, still sore but nothing like last night." He groaned as he moved his hands over his bandaged back. "I meant to thank you for taking care of me last night. That was very sweet of you." He leaned in and kissed me lightly on the cheek.

"You're welcome Jake, but if you hadn't been here none of that would have happened." My voice was stern.

"Trust me, being here is well worth a few cuts."

"I'm just glad you aren't mad at me after last night."

"Mad?" He furrowed his brows. "Why would I be mad at you?"

"Because I told you I wasn't ready."

"And I told you I didn't care. I'll wait for you Bella." He smiled lovingly.

"And you changed your plans, I thought you wanted to see the north."

"I've already seen everything I need." He caressed my cheek lightly with his fingertips. "So for now Bella, I'll be whatever you want me to be. A friend, a lover, a shoulder to cry on." He chuckled

"A friend!" I interjected.

"That's fine, and when you're ready, I'll be there for you." I could tell by his tone that he was confident that it wouldn't take long for me to be ready. I didn't necessarily agree with that. "I think you'll have fun." He continued. "Getting out of the house, getting your mind off things." By things he meant Edward. "Well, I'm going to go. I'll be back in a little while."

I was confused, "Where are you going?"

"To the post office. I need to mail a letter." He picked up a white envelope off the coffee table.

I read the name, "Who's Vladimir?" I giggled.

"A f-friend from back home, but I think he's moving away." He stumbled over the words as if it pained him to say them. His response confused me.

"You could mail the letter from here." I told him.

"No, I don't have any stamps."

"There are some in the kitchen." "No." A hint of anger flared behind his eyes. "I'll be right back Bella." He stuffed the letter in his back pocket, and was gone.

A/N: Hmm… I wonder what that letter says? I guess we'll find out next time. Thanks for reading! Please review.