Disclaimer: Primeval does not belong to me. This is fan fiction, not for profit.

Any references to people, places, businesses, etc. are entirely fictitious.

A World Without Jess

…shopping…

-x-x-x-x-x-x

Strange as it seemed, life went on. The people of London started cleaning up the devastation caused by convergence, and Connor was cremated. Abby met Connor's Mum for the first time. Connor's mother refused to take any of his things when Abby offered.

"My son loved you," said the sad woman with dark brown eyes so like Connor's own. "He didn't seem to be sure you loved him too, but I thought you should know."

"I loved him too," replied Abby. Her blue eyes brimmed with tears. "I proposed to him, just an hour before…"

Mrs. Temple's face lit up for a moment with joy.

"Oh, I'm so glad you told him!" exclaimed the woman. She hugged Abby. "It's important, to know."

-x-x-x-x-x-x

Matt couldn't find Jack. Lester called Scotland Yard and asked for their assistance.

"Do you know how many people are missing after that bloody dinosaur rampage was let loose on the country?" bellowed the representative from Scotland Yard.

"No, and I doubt we'll ever really know," sighed Lester. "Just… do what you can, please."

-x-x-x-x-x-x

Two weeks after Connor's cremation, Abby packed up most of Connor's clothing and gave the apparel to a shelter. She kept Connor's favorite fedora, a pair of fingerless gloves that for some odd reason still smelled faintly of his aftershave and the old Lord of the Rings chain and ring. Abby started wearing that old familiar chain around her neck. Sometimes she wore the fingerless gloves. On really bad days, Abby wore the fedora too.

"She spends too much time in the menagerie," worried Emily.

"I haven't seen her smile, not since..," sighed Jess, "not even when Rex lands on her shoulder and chirps."

By the end of the month, Becker and his men had rounded up the last of the stranded creatures. The menagerie couldn't hold all the animals indefinitely. The London Zoo offered to take some of the creatures in, but transport from the holding area to the zoo was still an issue.

"You can't ask," insisted Matt. "It's too soon."

"We can't do this alone," argued Becker, "we need her help."

The two men continued arguing and didn't notice when Abby walked into the room.

"Guys," asked Abby, "what's up?"

"Abby," explained Becker, "we need your help with the creatures."

The blonde shook her head. She set her lips in a hard line.

"Right then," said Abby, "let's do this."

Somehow, on the ride over London Bridge, the baby wooly mammoth plucked the fedora off of Abby's head. The creature placed the hat upon it's own head and trumpeted proudly. When they got to the zoo, Becker offered to retrieve the hat for Abby, but she shook her head.

"No," said Abby, "the hat looks good on Snuffles. I think Connor would want him to keep it."

-x-x-x-x-x-x

Three months later, life in London was beginning to return to something that passed for normal. Emily approached Abby.

"Matt and I have been talking," began Emily, "we want to get married, build a life together, but..."

"But what?" asked Abby.

"We don't want to hurt you," sighed Emily, "I mean, you and Connor were supposed to..."

For the first time since Connor had died, Abby smiled. Her eyes blinked with sudden tears that made it hard to see, but it was a real smile.

"Don't wait," urged Abby. "You should be happy."

Matt and Emily had a small private ceremony at a chapel in central London. A wedding dinner was held at a nearby restaurant. Abby excused herself early and went back to the flat she shared with Jess and tried not to think of things that should have been. And when Jess and Becker arrived later that night, Abby put a pillow over her ears.

-x-x-x-x-x-x

Two months after Matt and Emily were married, Jess went shopping. She called Abby on her cell phone to share her excitement.

"I found the shoes," Jess told Abby, "now I just have to find the perfect dress."

Traffic security cameras caught the accident. One minute Jess and three other happy shoppers were walking down the pavement, and the next a drunk driver slammed all four pedestrians against the shop wall. Jess was killed instantly.

-x-x-x-x-x-x

When Abby got back to the flat that night, Becker was packing the few personal items he'd brought to Jess's flat.

"Where are you going?" asked Abby.

"I can't stay here any more," responded Becker. He looked around the flat. "It's too full of Jess, and she's not here."

Abby looked around the apartment.

"Funny," said Abby, "I stayed because this place is filled with Connor."

"People deal with grief differently," said Becker abruptly. He lifted his black tote bag with a jerk. A little box fell out on the floor. Becker knelt to pick it up. His voice shook with emotion as he spoke again. "At least Connor knew how you felt about him."

Abby could almost hear Jess's voice… Tell him! Abby shook her head. No, she thought, it would just hurt Becker more, but then another thought crossed her mind. The truth sometimes hurts, but not knowing hurts worse… it festers and eats at a person and never really heals. Abby remembered what Connor's mother had said, that she was glad Connor knew that Abby loved him.

"Becker," said Abby slowly, "do you really think you could keep anything from Jess?"

The soldier stood up and turned to face her.

"What are you talking about Abigail?" said Becker in a harsh tone.

"She knew you were going to propose," said Abby. Her blue eyes teared up. "That's why she went shopping, she wanted to wear something special for your date that night."

Becker looked like someone had punched him in the stomach and tore out his insides.

"Then… then it's my fault," he said, "she wouldn't have been there…"

"No," said Abby firmly. "It's the fault of that drunk driver, not yours."

"But she's still dead," said Becker.

He picked up his black bag and headed for the door. Abby called after him.

"She was going to say yes!"

-x-x-x-x-x-x