AN: Pretty much all the vampires and a bit of the wolf-pack belong to SM.
I don't even own Trisha, Ethan, David, Taylor, or any of the other wolf kids. They belong to yay4shanghai. She's just letting me borrow them for a little while because she's cool like that!
I do, however, own the following statement made by me referring to the part in the Twilight movie where Bella and Edward go off into the woods when he tells her he's a vampire:
*Me: "And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why teacher supervision is absolutely necessary! You never know when your students will run off into the woods with vampires!"
Thank you to all of you who continue to read and review! You guys are awesome! It literally makes my day to see reviews!
Don't forget to show some love to yay4shanghai, as well as another of my faves KupKakes09!
WARNING: There is an almost lemon in this chapter! Not quite, but…well, just read and find out!
************************************************************************
Chapter 8: "Librarians Don't Lie"
TRISHA'S POV
The upside to my date with David was my Dad's new attitude. When I needed a ride to the library the day after, he was all too eager to take me, quizzing me on the details of my date. I tried to be truthful, without letting the revelation of my lingering feelings for Ethan slip through.
"Did he kiss you?" Dad asked with a grin on his face.
"Ugh, no! It was just a date, Dad. One date. Don't go sending out wedding invitations," I said, annoyed.
"Yet," he said, smiling and patting my hand. "At least you're over that little Wahalla shit."
I wasn't exactly sure what he meant by "over." In no way had my behavior over the last months indicated I had moved on with my life. But I heard the deeper meaning in his statements. He had no intention of EVER letting Ethan win; it was all David for him. So, now, after realizing just how much I loved and missed everything about Ethan, I felt my heart struggle to compromise between the two of the men I loved more than anything, my father and Ethan.
"So, what's this project you're working on? I don't understand why anyone in their right mind would go to the library on a Saturday," Dad said, shaking his head, while I tried to imagine what kind of student he had been in high school. I knew Mom was an above average student. Always did her work, studied hard, and wanted very much to succeed and get the hell off the reservation. The irony of her story being that no matter how much you want something, sometimes your family needs you and that trumps everything else. Not to mention, had Mom not returned to the reservation, she would never had met, imprinted, and married my father and I would not exist.
"It's a paper, actually. About why the western states let women have the right to vote before other states did," I said.
"That sounds bor-ring!" Dad said chuckling. "I'm just kidding, kiddo."
I just shook my head, as we pulled into the library parking lot.
"What time will you be finished?" Dad asked.
"I don't know. Do you want me to see if Helen can bring me home?" I asked, hoping he would say yes.
"That's fine. But if she can't, you call me, okay?" he asked, behaving like an overprotective oaf.
"Sure thing, Dad," I said getting out of the car.
"Bye, pumpkin. I love you." Holy shit! I hadn't heard those words from him in months. I could feel my heart swell, as he smiled at me.
"I love you, too, Daddy," I said back, shutting the car door and walking towards the library.
The La Push Public Library was fairly small but it would work for a high school paper. I had an advantage because one of the wolf-girls, Helen, Collin's wife, was the head librarian. Anytime I had ever needed anything in the library, she was more than willing to bend over backwards to help me. Helen was a unique character to say the least: quiet and reserved most of the time, but somewhat spunky in her own right. I also heard that she had a thing for freaky sex, like really freaky sex, complete with leather and whips. But that really didn't matter to me. To me, she was just Helen the Librarian and Wolf-Girl Extraordinaire.
"Hey, Helen!" I said, walking into her small office in the back of the library.
"Well, Miss Trisha, it's been too long. How are you, my dear?" She asked as she put the book she was reading to the side.
"I'm good. Got to write a paper for American History," I smiled.
"That's not what I meant. I heard you had a date last night."
"What? Does like the whole reservation know?"
"No, but the wolf-girls do. You're a member now, no matter how involuntarily so you have to spill. How did it go?"
I could trust Helen, right? I mean, sure, she had told Collin about Ethan and mine's activities on the beach, but it wasn't her fault he was an idiot and couldn't contain his thoughts, spilling to Embry, who then spilled to the pack. I knew that as long as she could keep from telling Collin, my thoughts would be safe with her.
"I'm kinda confused, actually," I said.
"Well, have a seat," Helen said, pointing to the chairs in front of her desk.
I sat down, squirming as she leaned towards me, then got up to shut her office door.
"So what seems to be the problem, Miss Trisha?" She asked, looking like a total psychiatric, complete with a pen in her hands and a notepad on her lap.
"I had a good time on my date last night. I really did. And David was very sweet," I said, afraid to look her in the eyes.
"I feel a 'but' coming in though, right?" Helen asked.
I thought for a minute. I hadn't said it out loud. I couldn't say it out loud. No one would have understood me. But Helen asked. She must know something isn't right.
"But, he's not Ethan." I said, shuddering a little at the sound of my voice saying his name.
Helen sat back in her chair and chuckled.
"What?" I asked.
"And he never will be, sweetie. David Uley is a great kid, he's not the brightest crayon in the box, but he's a good kid. I saw the way you and Ethan were. In all honesty, it was stronger than most imprints I've seen."
"Really?" I asked.
"Librarians don't lie, dear," she smiled. "Don't get me wrong, I am extremely thankful for my imprint. I love Collin very much and I wouldn't trade him or my life in La Push for the world. But I know love when I see it, and what you and Ethan had, that was beyond love."
I couldn't help but worry that it was too little, too late. Where do I start? How do I make Ethan realize that being with him is the ONLY thing that mattered to me? Hell, how do I even find Ethan? I knew I felt him at times, but that meant nothing. I needed to touch him, to hold him, to tell him what an idiot I had been.
"Thank you, Helen," I said.
"You are so much more than welcome," Helen said, making me smile. "Now, in what direction may I point you?"
"Well, I need either Western American History or Women's History," I said.
"Look in the Historical Non-Fiction and then Reference. If you need something copied, just bring it up to me, okay?" She said sweetly.
"Thank you, again, Helen."
She just winked at me.
Off I went to the Historical Non-Fiction, where I was almost sure I would not be able to concentrate on anything other than my current Ethan predicament.
ETHAN'S POV
I knew she was here. I could smell her. She had such an amazing smell, like apples and cinnamon, kind of appropriate since she ate apples like they were going out of style. I didn't want her to see me. I had been following her for so long and, until now, just seeing her face and knowing she was okay, was getting me by. But after I saw her out with David, I knew I couldn't stand by anymore. I need her. I need her like I need food or oxygen, and, as much as living with Seth was great, I needed her company.
I tried to be as quiet as possible, knowing it was the library, after all, and we always hated when Helen gave us the "Shh! Look," as we called it. I was trying to avoid Helen right now. I blamed part of this chaos on her. If she had kept her big mouth shut about the hands issue, things would have been a lot better, but no, she had to blab to her wolf-husband, who's continued lack of control on his thoughts mirrored some of the new pups. Unfortunately for me, her librarian senses were in full swing and she caught me.
"Is there something I can help you find, Ethan Wahalla?" Helen asked, standing in the doorway of her office, one eyebrow cocked.
"No, ma'am, just looking for a book," I tried say politely.
"Try something in Historical Non-Fiction. We have some great books on Western American History and Women's History. Might want to check it out."
"Thanks for the tip," I said.
Alright, so here we go. I thought to myself, mustering up the courage to make my way to the Historical Non-Fiction section. Her scent got stronger and I could hear her humming a soft tune. It sounded like "All You Need Is Love" by the Beatles and I couldn't help but smile. I saw her looking at a book about women in Wyoming and watched as she pursed her lips, obviously processing whatever it was she was reading. I slipped into the shelf in front of her, just staying a distance to keep her from suspecting anything. Then I saw her face. She looked content and happy, reading through her book and I questioned whether this was a good idea. I turned to walk away.
TRISHA'S POV
I was smiling. It had been so long since I was happy, but knowing that maybe everything with Ethan would work out made me smile. And then I sensed him. I knew he had to be here, near me. I felt my stomach flip a little and could smell his familiar scent. It smelled of Christmas trees and licorice. It was very unique and I knew it could only belong to him. Why if he was so close, would he not acknowledge me? Did he not see I needed him? I contemplated whether to say anything, for fear he would freak out and leave.
"Ethan?" I don't know why I said anything. I knew he wasn't going to respond. I slipped the book back into its place on the shelf and could still sense him.
"Ethan, I know you're there. I can feel you. Please talk to me," I begged, choking on the last words, knowing he was so close and yet so far.
Nothing. Well, this was a rotten idea. I could feel the tears starting and I needed to get out of this damn stuffy library before I screamed. I turned and took a step before walking into a wall of tanned muscle.
It was him. It was Ethan, my Ethan, looking down at me with conflicted eyes. He was so sexy, so godlike it hurt to stare directly at him and he smiled at me, softly. I couldn't control myself any longer, I threw my arms around his neck, pulling him closer, positive that I was never going to let him go. It had been too long and I needed him. I grabbed the back of his neck, pushing my lips on his, finally being able to taste him after months of fasting. Immediately I felt my head start to spin and my heart speed. My stomach flipped and my abdomen start to tightened, I had forgotten the awesomeness that was Ethan's kisses.
He must have felt my body go a little limp, as he tightened his hold on me.
"Happy to see me?" He whispered in my ear, making me shiver and giving me goosebumps down my spine.
I pulled his lips to me again. He grabbed my butt, moving my legs to wrap his waist and then propping me onto a bookshelf.
"Good thing no one reads Historical Non-Fiction," he said, softly, before returning his lips to mine.
It was like we had been separated for centuries, that we had been deprived of a basic necessity, and now that we had it, we couldn't stop. My love for him swelled my heart and I never wanted to let him go. We just kept kissing. Sweet and innocent then rough and passionate. His tongue prodded my lips, requesting entrance that I more than willingly gave. He explored my mouth and I exchanged the favor.
This was not going to do. I needed more. He needed more. In almost as if he could sense my thoughts, he said, "Seth's car's in the parking lot."
"NOW!" I whispered sharply.
We didn't stop kissing and I stayed in his arms as we made our way to Seth's car. He opened the back door, pushing me onto the seat, crawling between my legs and shutting the door behind him. It was like we had never been apart, our bodies adjusting to fit in the backseat, clinging to one another with everything we had.
He moaned as I slid my hands down his chest letting them rest on the hard package between his legs as he moved his mouth to my jawline.
"Ethan…" I moaned, my hands moving from his back to his sides, pulling his shirt off. I pulled my coated off, as the heat from his body began to make me sweat. He ran his hands to the hem of my shirt, removing it in one swift motion. My fingers began drawing circles on his chest. He was more gorgeous than I had remembered. His chest was well-defined and muscular, but soft and loving as well. His lips were still on mine. I slipped my fingers down to the waistband of his sweatpants, toying with it, as he groaned. Finally, I slid his sweats down, removing them, thinking I would find his normal boxers. They weren't there.
"Going commando?" I mumbled into his ear.
"Kind of a necessity when you are likely to morph into a giant wolf on a dime," he whispered back as he began sucking on the skin behind my ear. Oh, how that drove me crazy! I could literally feel my eyes roll into the back of my head.
He ran his hands to my back, trying to unclasp my bra. He fumbled with it for a few minutes before giving up. "Shit!" He said.
I giggled and grabbed his hands, moving them to the back to my bra, guiding him to finally unclasp it. One at a time, he pushed the straps off my shoulders. His index finger found the middle of my cleavage and pulled my bra off exposing my breast. This was new for us. He had never seen me this naked before, even when we'd spent time with his finger inside me, I always had a shirt on and he never really looked, just felt me.
He moved his mouth down and placed hot, wet kisses on my breast. I arched my back, feeling his erection push into my groin. I wanted him. I wanted all of him. I needed him to make me feel complete. I was perfectly content with losing my virginity in the backseat of Seth's car, as long as it was with Ethan.
But part of me was beginning to freak out. What if this wasn't real? What if he didn't come back for me, he just saw me and I jumped him? I started to doubt myself, while he continued kissing down my stomach, unbuttoning my jeans, and pulling them off.
"Stop!" I screamed. He looked at me like I had lost my mind and part of me wondered if I had.
"What's wrong?" Ethan sat up to look at me.
"I can't…I need…" I couldn't find the words. Hell, I didn't know if there were coherent words to describe what I wanted to say.
"Trisha, you know there is no way I'm going to make love to you in the backseat of a car, if that's what you're worried about? I want our first-time to be special. This is just us getting reacquainted, is all. You don't have to do anything you don't want to, you know that, right? I would never force you, ever," Ethan said, commanding my eyes to his which were like pools of molten mahogany.
I felt a little silly. He thought this was about sex. Though sex was on my mind, it was on a back burner. I needed to know what this was, what we were.
"I just…I need to know that this is real…that you want me," I stuttered.
He smiled, "I was going to ask you the same thing." He sat up a little more, placing his hands over his erection, blushing a little.
"What do you mean?" I asked, furrowing my eyes.
"Well, I was afraid you might think this was just a quick fondle and then we'd go back to the way it was. Never talking, me following you around everywhere," he didn't move.
I felt a lump develop in my throat. He had been with me! I knew it! I knew he still loved me! I pulled him down on top of me, crushing my lips to his.
"Ethan…" I moaned into his ear. "I have missed you so much." I brought my lips back to his mouth and he pulled away.
"I love you, Ray. I always have. I always will. No matter what," he whispered, stroking my cheek.
"I love you, Ethan. I always have. I always will. No matter what," I whispered back to him.
He smiled as I pushed a few stray hairs from his forehead. He kissed my cheek, trailing down back to my breast, then to my stomach, stopping right at the edge of my panties. He placed his hands in between my legs, spreading them slightly. I placed my hands in his hair as I shivered. He moved his fingers to start easing the panties down. I lifted my butt up, as he continued sliding them down. And then…
Bam! Bam! Bam! Someone was pounding on the window.
"What the fuck?!" Ethan yelled.
"I know you two are in there! I can see the windows all fogged up and I can hear you!" the voice said.
"Helen." We said together.
"Paul called and he's on his way. You better get clothes on and come to my office, NOW!" Helen demanded.
"For a librarian, she's fucking annoying!" Ethan said.
I couldn't help but laugh as I searched the back of Seth's car for my clothes. Bra over here, shirt over there, jeans on the floorboard. Luckily, Ethan had had the sense to leave my socks on. He pulled his sweatpants on, sliding his shirt over his head, and tying his shoes.
"My Dad is not going to be at all happy," I said, pulling my coat on.
"He's not going to know. We'll talk about it later, okay?"
He kissed my forehead, hugging me to him one last time before we had to leave the bliss of Seth's backseat for the sullenness of Helen's office.
"Here," Helen said throwing a bar of soap at me.
"What am I supposed to do with this? And why do you have a bar of soap with you?" I asked.
"You need to go in the bathroom and scrub down."
"Why exactly?"
"Your Dad is going to walk in and smell Ethan all over you."
"But we didn't do anything but makeout."
"At any point was his saliva or any other part of him on you?" I didn't even have time to answer. "Exactly," she said turning to Ethan. "You need to get out of here, too. Collin's coming to walk through, dilute your scent a little."
Helen looked at us and then shook her head.
"You two are lucky my favorite books are romances. You have exactly two minutes, and then Ethan you have to leave. I don't want to have scrub blood from the Reference section after Paul beats you to a pulp." She closed the blinds on her office door, shutting it, as she walked out.
Ethan turned me to look at him.
"This is not going to be like it was before. Okay?"
I nodded to him as tears started to run down my cheeks.
"We have some stuff to talk about. Can you sneak out tonight and meet me at Seth's?"
"Will Seth be there?" I asked, not wanting to doom anymore people than absolutely necessary.
"He will, but he'll be fine. I'll wait for you. Just come whenever you can, okay?" I nodded again as he kissed my forehead. "I love you, Ray. And I'll see you in a little while."
He pulled me into a passion-filled kiss, groping at my butt and groaning when he had to let go. He started to turn to leave when I was struck with fear. I couldn't let him leave. I grabbed his wrist and he turned back to look at me.
"Please promise…" That was all I could get out. I needed him to say he was never leaving. I needed to know this wasn't just a coincidence.
"I promise this is just the beginning, okay? I'm not leaving you ever again. EVER. You will have to decide when this is over. I can't NOT be with you." And then he kissed me softly on the lips, smiling.
"What?" I asked.
"I'm just imagining you in the La Push Public Library bathroom trying to wash my scent off of you," he said with a smirk. "It's kind of dangerous, alluring, and sexy."
I smiled and watched as he walked to Seth's car.
"Young lady, your Dad is going to be here any minute," Helen picked up the soap, placing it in my hand, "bathroom, scrub, now!"
"Ethan was right. You can be fucking annoying," I mumbled.
The spongebath in the bathroom would have disappointed Ethan. It was anything but sexy, using the rough paper towels to wash every square inch of my body. I was afraid I would be red from scrubbing so hard.
I walked out to see Dad talking to Collin and Helen, grinning to show his white teeth. He smiled at me and waved for me to join them.
"There's my baby girl," he said, kissing my hair. Oh shit! Would my hair smell like Ethan? I hadn't even thought about that. I couldn't exactly wash my hair in the bathroom and then be presentable for when he arrived.
Helen looked at me, "I was just telling your Dad about all the research you've done, and how surprised you were to find out about women's voting rights in the West."
I nodded. I knew Helen was using this as a cover, because she knew Dad would never prod for information, especially about the voting rights of women in the West, as he said before, that subject was bor-ring!
"Still sounds boring to me," Dad said, shaking his head. "We better get home. Your Mom's making some funky soup-thingy for dinner. And David's called three times."
Perfect! I thought. Funky soup and David! Nice!
Dad ushered me to the car, placing his arm around my shoulders. His smile remained as he drove home. The car ride was peaceful and serene and gave me an opportunity to make a mental list of the things Ethan and I needed to discuss.
Mom's "funky-soup thingy" was only soup served in a bread bowl but it thoroughly confused Dad and I couldn't control my laughter.
"What the hell is this?" He asked.
"It's soup in bread," Mom said, shaking her head.
"Am I s'pose to eat the bowl?" Dad asked, examining the bread.
"If you want. It's really not that difficult a concept, Paul," Mom said.
He took a bite of soup and then looked at me. "Have you called David back yet?"
"Not yet," I said. I did have every intention of calling him but I knew Ethan and I needed to talk first.
"Don't leave him waiting too long, sweetie," Dad said.
"I won't."
"You are going to call him, right?"
"Of course, Dad. I just need to let him sweat it out a little." I lied.
The rest of the evening was quiet, as I spent a Saturday night writing the paper I was actually supposed to have researched and written that afternoon. Before 10 o'clock, I was an expert on women's voting rights in the West and about to burst at the seams if I didn't get to Ethan soon.
I collapsed on the couch, in between my parents. I glanced at the clock: 11:00. Oh, come on already! Go to bed! I thought.
Not ten minutes later, Dad did his fake yawn, tapping Mom on the shoulder.
"Ah, look at the time. Rach, you ready to hit the hay?"
Mom rolled her eyes. Dad puckered his lips to her and began motioning his head to the bedroom.
"For the love of God, if you are going to have sex, could you at least wait for me to get to my room?!" I exclaimed.
Mom and Dad burst into laughter.
"Ah, Rach, our daughter knows us too well," Dad said, rustling my hair.
"That is disgusting," I said. "I'm going to bed. Please try to control yourselves."
I waited until I heard the door shut, followed by Dad's growl and Mom's giggle. I crept to my bedroom, fluffing my hair, before sliding open the window and creeping out. I walked quickly to Seth's and knocked on the door.
"Hiya, Trish," Seth said, opening the door. He stared at me for a long minute and laughed.
"Please tell me you didn't just imprint on her too," Ethan said from behind him.
Seth chuckled, "Lucky for you, no, cuz I'm quite a catch."
He motioned for me to come in, as Ethan pulled me to the room he was staying in.
"No fucking in my house, you hear me?!" Seth yelled at us.
I flopped down on the bed, Ethan next to me.
"Explain to me why the world seems to be obsessed with sex? I had never noticed it that much before. Everyone is having sex! Everyone!" I said.
Ethan chuckled and grabbed my hand, "We're not." I smiled at him and felt a little embarrassed. I inched closer to him, placing my hand on his thigh. "I'm okay with us not doing it yet, Ray. We're gonna be mature about this and wait for the right time."
Again with the sex. We needed to talk about something else, because listening to him talk about sex, made me want to rip off his pants and shove him inside me. He moved his hand, stroking my cheek, smiling as he leaned in to softly kiss my lips.
"We have a lot to talk about, babe," I said to him.
"I know. I've just missed you," he gave me a quick peck.
"So…" I started. "I want you to know that I love you. I have always loved you and that will never change. My date with David," he cut me off.
"It's okay, Trisha, you don't have to explain that to me." I could see the pain in his eyes. "I saw how you were. I could hear you cry at night. I know it sounds crazy, but I almost wish I could thank David. That night, watching you, I saw you smile more than I had in months."
I shook my head, "But that doesn't mean…" He cut me off again.
"It's okay, I understand. You had to do it, to see, right? See what would happen?"
"Exactly." I thought for a minute about how to put what I was going to say. I determined it was best to just say it and get it over with. "My Dad…"
He cut me off again. This was something that before would have driven me nuts…a man who wouldn't let me get a word in. But as long as it was Ethan that was interrupting me, I didn't mind.
"I know this imprint shit means a lot to your Dad. But more importantly, I know how much your Dad means to you," he said, rubbing circles on my hand with his thumb. "He didn't treat you the same after he found out about us. I only saw it get worse. I won't let that happen again, Ray. Your family is too important to you."
"But what am I supposed to do? You know, he knows, that if I had to choose between him or you, I would always choose you." That was what it really boiled down to after all, Ethan or Dad. We all three knew it and so far I could find no solution to the problem. Luckily for me, the love of my life had already thought that through.
"This is my proposition," Ethan said, pulling me into his lap. "In order to keep peace within your family, you have to keep seeing David. I know that, okay? It doesn't mean I have to like it, but I know that's what has to happen."
Where in the hell could he be going with this?
"So, I think you have to put on a show. Make it look like you're giving in," he said.
"But I can't do that to you. What about us us? I love you, Ethan, and I can't hurt you," I whispered.
"I didn't say we weren't going to be together. I just said you were going to need to improve your acting skills," he smirked at me. "You and I will sneak around like we did before. And, for lack of a better way of putting it and at the risk of sounding possessive, you have my 'permission' to date David."
Holy Mother! That was the compromise. Date David and sneak around with Ethan. I had to admire the plan but it also scared the shit out of me.
"I'm not finished though, Trisha. You can date David, but don't ever forget that you belong to me," he semi-growled and I felt my body heat up as he crushed his lips to mine.
"I could never forget that," I said. We kissed as our tongues began the epic battle for supremacy. I personally think he won, probably because I let him.
He walked me close to home before having to turn back for fear Dad would catch his scent. This is going to work, I thought to myself. It has to, I cannot live without Ethan.
I made a list of things to do for the next day before going to sleep. It read:
Wake up and think about Ethan.
Call David and set up a date.
Countdown the hours until Mom and Dad go to bed and I can make my way to Ethan.
This had to work, right?
*NEXT CHAPTER: "Giving In, Well Sorta"