AN: Pretty much all the vampires and a bit of the wolf-pack belong to SM.
I don't even own Trisha, Ethan, David, Taylor, or any of the other wolf kids, except Jesse. They belong to yay4shanghai. She's just letting me borrow them for a little while because she's cool like that!
I apologize for the delay in update. I planned on having it in by 5, but like the title of the last chapter, "the best laid plans…" Thank you to all of you who continue to read and review! You guys are awesome!
Very, very special thanks to yay4shanghai for being the most awesome beta on the face of the planet and to KupKakes09 because she rocks! Don't forget to show them some love! Also, check out She's A Boozer AND CallmeEmbrys, who has like two stories I'm absolutely in love with!
Check out yay4shanghai's new story "The Pathetic Ramblings of a Homosexual Werewolf" about David's brother, Mark.
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Chapter 15: "¿Donde Esta Ethan?"
DAVID'S POV
One week. I held her in my arms for one week. She cried. And cried. And begged for Ethan to forgive her. She was too late though. The day after the break up, he didn't show up for patrol, the pack searched but he wasn't found. Ethan had gone. Just left, taking his passport and cash. Kim was heartbroken. And Jared was stressed to the max. The next week, Trisha got out of bed, and ran to the garage before I could stop her. She screamed bloody murder trying to find Ethan. Every syllable out of her mouth made me flinch. I couldn't help but be jealous.
It didn't take long for the gossip to start. All the old bitties on the reservation had theories as to what had happened. I heard everything from Trisha got pregnant and had an abortion then Ethan flipped and ran, to Ethan being abducted by aliens from the planet Zoltar. (I kind of liked that theory.) Only one thing was for sure: Ethan had disappeared and Trisha was, well, broken.
I stayed with her every second of that first week. I made sure she ate, made sure she slept, made sure she bathed. Rachel stayed nearby too. She didn't talk to Trisha too much though, I don't think she knew what to say. After that first week, Rachel made me leave during the day to go to school. I only had three months left until graduation and God knows I didn't want to repeat my senior year. I came back every night and stayed with Trisha, though. Rachel made me a pallet on the floor with blankets. Trisha slept most of the time, but every now and then, I'd look up and see her staring at me. I'd smile and then she'd put her hand out. She usually just wanted to touch me, I think, to know I was still there.
Dad came by everyday to check on me, and Trisha. He checked up on the Wahallas sometimes too, which was little awkward for them, I'm sure. Although the pack didn't really blame them for the Ethan thing, it was still a little tense.
Then a month had passed. Rachel told the school she was homeschooling Trisha, and she did try, but Trisha refused.
Mark was my savior. He kept me from falling apart. When I wasn't with Trisha, I was being a pussy and crying to him about how fucked up everything had gotten. Now, after being told basically, that I had won, why would I still feel this way? Simple. I had spent months falling in love with a girl that I thought might be feeling something back, only to find out she fucked my best friend.
He wasn't anymore, right now he was the only wolf I would like to see dead, but for a really long time Ethan was my partner, we did everything together. He was as good as a brother to me, and that's what hurt the most. Ethan took more than just her virginity from me, not that it was mine to start with, be got the best parts of her, the parts where she was herself and not pretending. Ethan got the parts where she smiled because she wanted to, or kissed with a real passion. I got the act, the leftovers. I was second best. I was not what she wanted but what she had to settle for.
Mark knew I was pissed at myself for not realizing what the hell was going on. I had smelt Ethan. I knew he had been in that damn garage and sometimes I would catch a whiff of him in her hair. But I kept my mouth shut. I tried to trust her. I let him take her because I wasn't man enough to win her over myself.
Mark helped me deal with knowing that Trisha was wrong. That she knew what she was doing, but she did it anyway. In my life, I had thought of Trisha Wise as a lot of things, but selfish was never one of them. I was wrong about that. Ethan didn't take her, she gave herself to him knowing that it could mean his death. Knowing that I would have to fight and kill the friend I had spent years confiding in, sharing every thought and dream with.
Most importantly, Mark let me know that I had to push all that bullshit out of the way and help her heal. Where I had failed before, I wouldn't now. Because, we were all almost certain, Ethan Wahalla would never show his face in La Push again. Ever. And part of me did a victory dance with that thought. I hated him, so much, that thinking about him made my vision go red. I hated him for not respecting me enough to leave Trisha alone. For not respecting the pack enough to not ignore his own desires and fuck a wolf-brother's imprint. For being just as selfish as Trisha. For knowing the rules and breaking them anyways. For shaming his parents and making them outcasts. For being a little bitch and leaving before I had the chance to beat his ass. For making Trisha break it off with him. For making me wince in pain everytime I looked at my beautiful soulmate's blank eyes. For making me die a little each time she said his name. This, ultimately, was all his fucking fault.
"If you love her like you say you do, like I know you do, you will have to swallow your pride and be the man I know you are. You have to forget it all and help her," Mark, always the voice of reason. I was so proud to call him my brother.
By the second month, Rachel was calling shrinks. Trisha still didn't do anything but sleep and cry. I couldn't figure out how she had any damn tears left in her eyes. It was April of my freakin' senior year of high school. I should have been worrying about things like my future. Well, I kinda was. Only my future lie in bed all day doing nothing but crying and worrying the hell out of her parents and me. To be honest, Paul Wise was the biggest, meanest, scariest son-of-a-bitch I knew. He liked me, but if anyone, I mean anyone, got out of line, it was no holds barred fist action. I had never seen him like he was now. One time, after school, I let myself in the door like always and I found him standing over Trisha's bed, crying. He played it off when he saw me but I know what I saw. Paul had said some shitty things to Trisha before, but he loved her. I can only imagine how hard it is to have a daughter, especially for Paul, the true man's man, to have a daughter, a daughter that he would kill for to protect.
My temper was getting really short at school, too. Everyone was always running around going on and on about prom and graduation, total chick shit. I have to admit part of me was jealous. I would have loved to have taken Trisha to prom. I didn't have the guts to ask her, seeing as how she was broken hearted and all, and hadn't said anything other than sobbing and wailing for two months. I thought getting a dress and having her hair done might be a bit much.
I spent prom night next to her bed. It was a good day. Trisha actually sat up and watched a movie with me. Dances with Wolves. Funny, huh? She wanted me to hold her while we watched the movie. She even ate popcorn with me. I think I saw her smile when the guy chased the wolf around. "I don't know. I think I'm cuter than that wolf," I said. I was actually pretty serious but it made Trisha giggle a little. It was a wonderful sound. A sound I had missed.
Before long, it was final's week, the last week of school, counting down to graduation. I was studying. Yeah, you heard me, studying. I couldn't graduate unless I passed my finals. I was having the hardest time in Spanish and as much as Mark tried, I just wasn't getting it. I was studying at the Wise house, watching Trisha sit.
"What are you studying?" HOLY SHIT! She spoke! She was actually sitting up and looking at me.
"Spanish…it's like the hardest language on the face of the planet! I don't get it," I sighed, wishing I could've been one of those child geniuses that speaks like twelve languages. But no…I was lucky I spoke English right.
"Do you want help?" Trisha's voice was quieter and hoarser than usual. I was still jazzed to hear it.
I shook my head. "Nah, I don't want to bother you."
"Please, let me help you, David," she said looking down.
"I don't want you to feel like you have to, like you owe me anything," I said. I have to admit, the way I said it was not very nice.
She closed her eyes. "I just wanted to help you." She laid herself back down and rolled onto her side away from me.
Way to go, Uley, you jackass. She just wanted to help, I thought to myself.
"I'm sorry, Trish. I didn't mean it," I whispered, walking over to her. She was crying again, but this time I knew those tears weren't for Ethan. They were for me. And because of me.
"I really did just want to help. I don't want you to fail out of school because of me," she said back, her voice quivering.
"I'm having problems with questions and answers. You think you can read the questions from the book and I'll answer them?" I asked her.
"Yes," she said, rolling over to look and sitting up.
I had missed being able to look in her eyes, and the moment I did, I felt that pull. I wanted to be as close to her as possible, to be her everything, to stop her pain.
"¿Cómo estás?" She asked.
"Muy bien. ¿Y tu?" I asked her.
"A sí a sí." She answered back. God, was it bad I thought she was so damn hot when she spoke Spanish? I'd heard people speak Spanish, hell, every time I was at Embry's place Leticia was always good for yelling a few things in Spanish. But, Trisha, ¡Dios mío!
I saw her look down at the book for the next question, her eyes growing wide, then sad and droopy. She looked at me. "I can't ask the next question, David."
"Let me see it," I said as I took the book from her hands.
"¿Donde esta Ethan?" it said. Ethan? Why would the fucking textbook company pick the name Ethan?
"Um…we can skip it if you want," I said, trying to sound.
She nodded and then looked at me. "Does anyone know where he is?"
How do I put this delicately? Saying "I don't really fucking care" might not be the best thing to win points with her. So I was polite. "No. No one knows."
"Hopefully he's safe. He should call Kim, though. She's worried sick, I'm sure." Trisha was so sweet to be concerned about that asshole. But then, she loved that asshole and not me.
"Uh-huh," I just kind of grumbled.
She looked down at the purple quilt on her bed. "Lo siento," she whispered and then looked up me.
Fuck! What did that mean? Why couldn't I remember? I knew I should've listened to Senor Guapo more carefully. I heard Embry say it a few times to Leticia, too.
Trisha must have seen the look of confusion in my eyes. "It means 'I'm sorry.'"
I scoffed at her. "Exactly what're you sorry for?"
"A lot of stuff. Can we talk about it some other time though?" She was on the verge of tears and I didn't want to be the cause of my imprints heartache. Not today. She was finally talking to me and I wasn't going to fuck that up.
"I was thinking of ordering a pizza. You hungry?" I was starving and my Trisha hadn't been eating like she should. I could tell she'd lost weight, her pajamas hung to her skin differently than before that prick ruined her.
"Pizza sounds really good. Can we get the Pie o' Meat?" She asked.
I had to kind of laugh at that, knowing that she probably never got to eat meat with the jerkface, being as he was vegetarian and all. "Anything you want, dollface." I said, watching her giggle a little.
"Dollface? Have you been watching old gangster movies again?" I laughed, again. I had gone through a phase where I only watched movies like The Untouchables and Goodfellas. It was kind of flattering to think she remembered that.
"No, though you do remind me of those pretty ladies from those movies. I just thought it was a good nickname for you," I was trying to seem smooth. I'm not sure it worked.
I called and ordered the pizza. "I've gotta go get it. You wanna come?" She hadn't left the house since her outburst in February. I doubted she would want to but I asked anyway.
"Is it okay if I just stay here?" Trisha almost seemed like she was apologizing.
"Of course, dollface," I winked and left to get the pizza.
Little Danny's Pizza was a popular restaurant amongst the pack. Mostly because you could get like twelve pizzas for under a hundred bucks, and we wolves do love our pizza. It was owned by a silly old couple, neither Quileutes. Danny was a little redheaded Irish man and his wife, Sophia, claimed to be from Sicily (which, as it was explained to me, is an island in the sea next to Italy). The pizza was mind-blowing and each one had an Irish name. Like the one Trisha requested "Pizza O' Meat" or another favorite "Shamrocks and Shrooms," a fancy description of spinach and mushrooms. Danny and Sophia didn't know any specifics about the pack, just that we ate. A lot. But as time went on they learned about our personal lives, including the latest drama with Trisha.
"How is the wee lil' baby garl, doin'?" Danny asked, handing me the two pizzas.
"Umh…well, she's a little better, I think. She actually talked today. Helped me study for a Spanish test," I said to Danny and Sophia.
"Ye hang in there, lad. She'll come round," he said, patting me on the back.
I started to leave when Sophia, all four foot nine inches of her, stopped in front of me. "Leesen to what I tell you. You say theese to her, hokay? You say 'Estoy aquí. Nunca le dejaré. Yo soy tu's.'"
"What the hell does that mean?" I wasn't meaning to be rude but it would've taken me all night to translate that.
"Eet's Spanish. Eet means 'I am here. I will never leave you. I am your's.' Theen you keese her. Eet will work. I wrote eet down for you," Sophia smiled at me and handed me a piece of paper.
"Umh…Thanks, I think," I said as I walked out.
I drove fast to the Wise house. I was surprised to see Trisha in the kitchen.
"What are you doing? Do you need something?" I asked her, almost panicked she was moving and was out of bed.
She half-smiled. "I'm just getting some water. Do you want something to drink?"
I nodded to her, "water's good." She smiled at me as she handed it to me. She had gotten dressed while I was gone, had taken a shower. Her wet hair was in a sloppy bun on the top of her head, her hot pink camisole clinging to every curve of her body, short shorts revealing enough to make a man go mad. I was harder than the quadratic equation and thankful that my nether region was covered by the dining room table.
"So what are plans for after graduation?" she asked, taking a big bite of her slice of pizza. God, that mouth, that glorious, glorious mouth!
"Like for the summer or like for life?" I asked.
She giggled. "Both, I guess."
"Well, this summer I have to run more patrols. I'm picking up some of the slack from Mark. He's taking some college courses at Peninsula College in Port Angeles over the summer. I want him to be able to concentrate on school, so it's the least I can do," I said. I felt like I was talking to her the same way I did three months ago. Before the breakdowns and breakups.
"You're a really good big brother, David," she said, as she put her hand over mine and looked in my eyes.
"Thanks. It's easy with a great brother like Mark. I just wish the smarts would've rubbed off on me a little more," I said.
"You're smart in your own right, David. Like cars. What in the hell would I have down if you weren't a car god? I'd still be looking at a heap of metal, because you know Dad's not going to have the patience to spend more than five minutes working on it," Trisha was complimenting me and I liked it.
"Thanks again," I said to her, nodding my head. "I have to patrol until three. Do you want me to come back after?"
She had the cutest look on her face, thinking really hard. "No. You probably haven't slept in your bed for awhile. Go home." She took another bite of pizza. "How's Jesse?" She smiled.
My Trisha loved that little girl and it had been fun to watch her interact with Jesse, that is, whenever Seth wasn't lingering around making a fool of himself.
"She's good. Five months now, you know," I said, beaming like the proud brother I am.
Trisha looked down and frowned. "I miss her."
Trisha had been there through most of Momma's pregnancy and was one of the first people to hold Jesse. She was also one of the few to not freak out when Seth imprinted on her. Trisha's love for Jesse made me fall even deeper in love with her, not a good thing, I realize now, thinking about what was going on with her and Ethan at the time.
"I could take you to see her tomorrow if you want. After school. If you want," I said, practically begging in my head.
"That would be good." She smiled at me.
"It means you would have to leave the house, though. You okay with that?"
"I will be. Not right now, but by tomorrow afternoon, I will be," she took more pizza.
"Promise?" I asked.
"Pinky swear," she said, putting her pinky out for me to take. I wrapped mine around it very carefully, not wanting to hurt her.
"Pinky swear," I winked at her.
I left Trisha's house early that night, meeting Mark in the woods to start my patrol.
"How is she?" Mark asked.
I showed him my day with Trisha, that she and I talked, ate pizza, studied Spanish, and then made a date for the next day.
"She looks a lot better," Embry thought.
"Better, but still a long way to go," I thought.
"If anyone can help her get over this, it's you," Embry thought.
"I hope," I thought.
I spent the night patrolling, finding nothing out of the ordinary. I ran past Trisha's window a few times just to check up on her. She tossed and turned a lot and I fought the urge to crawl in the window and cuddle with her each time I saw her. After patrol, I ran home just in time to catch Momma and Jesse up for their four o'clock feeding. I tried to be really quiet, hoping I could just go to my bed, but Momma caught me.
"David Uley, are you sneaking in without giving your Mother a hug?" Momma asked as I passed Jesse room on the way to mine and Mark's.
"Sorry, Momma," I whispered, going into the room to hug her.
She gently placed a sleeping Jesse in her crib and smiled down at her, then kissing her fingertips and pressing them to Jesse's nose.
"Sleep tight, sweetie pie," she whispered.
Then she turned to me and wrapped her arms around my waist. It was so funny to be taller than Momma. For most of my life, she had always seemed larger than life, stronger than any woman I knew, and when it came time to find my other half, I knew she would have to have the same spirit as my Momma. That's why imprinting on Trisha seemed so normal to me. Trisha and Momma were a lot alike, though I'm sure Trisha would deny it. They both loved their families and knew what it was like to hurt them. Mark and I knew the story about Momma, Dad, and Aunt Leah. In a lot of ways it mirrored the situation Trisha, Ethan, and I were in, the only difference being that Dad eventually got Momma.
Momma turned and reached on her tippy toes to cup my cheek. "I am so proud you are my son," she whispered.
"And I'm so proud you are my Momma," I whispered back to her, kissing her cheek.
I could see her eyes start to tear up. "Don't cry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry," I said.
"I just can't help but feel that we did this to you," Momma said through her tears. "That if your Dad and I hadn't imprinted, if his life was with Leah, that you would have your Trisha, no questions asked."
I wasn't going to lie to her and tell her that I hadn't thought that before, how much I thought this was some karma-shit come to bite me in the ass.
"I wouldn't want that. Because then you wouldn't be my Momma," I smiled at her.
Aunt Leah was great and all but she hated having to deal with us kids. Especially Jesse, now that she "belonged" to her brother. I couldn't imagine her being my Momma. I couldn't imagine anyone but Emily Uley as my mother.
"I love you, David. You deserve better than this," she sighed.
"Better than Trisha?" I asked.
She shook her head. "No, you and Trisha are perfect compliments of each other, even if she refuses to say acknowledge that. I meant that it should have been easier for you. You shouldn't have to fight so hard."
"What'd ya mean 'we're perfect compliments of each other'?" I asked her arching my eyebrow for dramatic effect.
Momma giggled and let go of me. "Well, you know how much Trisha loves her Daddy. You are quite a bit like Paul, actually. You will do anything for the woman you love. Paul used to be so different. The slightest thing would set him off, and his anger resulted in lots of wolf fights. I remember times your Dad used to have to practically order Paul and Jacob to stop fighting. It was non-stop fur flying. Paul wasn't a fun person to be around. But then he imprinted on Rachel. He became a different person. Sure, he still pissed Jacob off and he's still a pain in the ass most of the time, but he's also softer and kinder than he once was."
She looked at me and smiled. "You, my dear son, are a different person now than you were before you imprinted. Your grades have improved, because school is something that's important to Trisha. Your auto-repair skills improved, because Trisha needed your help with her car." I flinched a little at the thought of the car, the car I built with our family in mind. "See, you should hate her for that, for using you like she did. But you can't. The old David would've. The old David wouldn't have thought twice to tell her off and go about his merry way. But the person you are now, Trisha's David, you can't hate her. You've tried, but you can't. You love her too much."
She was right. I did love her. Despite trying really hard not to, I couldn't not love Trisha. Every time I started to think something bad about her, I would feel my heart pull a little and the feeling was gone. I didn't even have to be near her to feel the pull. I would feel it at school or at home, when I was miles away from her. She literally was my life now. Nothing else in the world mattered, as long as my imprint, my Trisha, was happy and safe. I had the safe part down, but the happy part wasn't really working in my favor the last few months. I'd never really sat down and talked about how her rejection made me feel. I just…hoped. Hoped it would get better with time, and when I thought it was becoming something, it was just a lie.
"Why can't she love me back?" I whispered, actually praying I wasn't going to cry.
"Oh, sweetie, someday she will. I know it. I know you and I know Trisha, trust me, I know Trisha. It may not be this week, it may not be this month, hell, it may not even be this year, but she will. She already does love you, just not quite as intensely as you love her. And, knowing Trisha, this won't be the last of the heartache she'll cause you. The question you have to ask yourself is 'Am I ready to do whatever I have to to never truly lose her?'" Momma knew I needed her to tell me this was all going to be worth it someday. I needed her to help me fix this, fix Trisha.
"I am. I…think she just needs more…time," I said, still trying not to cry. "She's coming over tomorrow, if that's okay. Wants to see Jesse."
"Of course! Trisha's always welcome here. Anytime, you know that." Mom scoffed at me.
"Thanks, Momma," I kissed her on the cheek and then headed to my bedroom.
I stripped down naked (when your body runs at 108, you try to not wear clothes whenever possible). I crawled in bed, pulling the flimsy sheet over me. Just about the time I thought I was going to doze off, I heard a knock at the window.
What the fuck?! Who's knocking on my damn window at four in the morning? I thought to myself. If this was one of my wolf brothers, he was SO getting an ass whooping!
I didn't even bother to throw boxers on. If they wanted to interrupt my beauty sleep, they got what they fuckin' deserved, even if that meant seeing me in all my naked glory.
I threw open the window. "What the fuck do you…" I started but stopped. It wasn't a pack brother. It was my petite princess dressed in a simple lacy lavender nightgown. It was a gown I had grown to love, seeing it cling to her various different times over the months. She always wore it when she had had a good day.
"I couldn't sleep. I was cold," she said, trying really hard not to look at any part of me but my eyes.
I reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers throwing them on quickly.
"Can I stay with you tonight?" Trisha asked.
"Anything for you, dollface," I pulled the window open more and put my hand out to help her in. She took it and smiled at me.
"I like when you call me dollface," she said before she kissed me on the cheek.
I smiled at her, taking her hand and leading her to my bed.
"You're going to stay with me, right? You're not going to leave, right?" she asked. My heart cracked listening to her voice quiver.
Damn you, Ethan, I thought.
I didn't say anything. I threw some clothes around on the floor, finding the shorts I had on earlier. I pulled the little scrap of paper from the back pocket and handed it to Trisha.
"Read this," I whispered to her.
She read it out loud. "Estoy aquí. Nunca le dejaré. Yo soy tu's."
"I am here. I will never leave you. I am your's," I said to her softly.
Trisha threw her arms around me waist and pulled me to her as hard as she could. Then she moved her fingers to my chin, pulling me down and placing a very soft, innocent kiss on my lips. It was just what I needed, just what she needed, and I could have stayed just like that forever. It was very Trisha.
"Thank you, David. Thank you for everything. I don't let you know how much you mean to me," she said.
"No sweat, dollface," and she smiled at me again.
I laid her down on the bed, helping her get settled. I laid a pillow on the floor and started to lie down.
"What are you doing?" Trisha asked.
"Going to sleep," I said. Duh!
She looked confused, scrunching her face a little and making her doe eyes water a bit. It was a look I knew well, having it myself many times. "You don't want to sleep with me?" Trisha asked letting me hear the hurt in her voice.
I smiled at her, "I didn't know that was option, but hell yeah."
I laid down next to her in my practically miniature twin bed.
"Will you hold me?" she asked, her voice sounding so small.
I rolled on my side, throwing my arm over her, and pulling her closer to me. I kissed her hair and listened as her breathing slowed and she drifted off to sleep.
This…This was my purpose in life. To keep her safe and warm. To love her no matter what. To make her pain stop. This was no longer about passing on a wolf gene or about imprinting. This was about the one person that I knew, at that moment, I loved, genuinely 100%, no mystical forces involved, loved. I loved Trisha with every single part of my wolfy existence…
I must have fallen asleep right after her, and woke up to Mark shaking me.
"Dude, what the fuck?" I said, whispering.
Mark had the silliest, creepiest grin on his face. "Please tell me this is not post-coital cuddling."
"I don't even know what that means," I said.
He chuckled, "After sex hugging."
Trisha stirred, rolling over to face me. She snuggled closer into me and ran her hand down my bare chest, before hitching her leg over my hip. "David," she moaned.
Oh, dear God, I would give anything to hear my name said like that for the rest of my life, I thought.
"Don't worry. I'll keep Momma and Dad out," Mark said walking out the door.
I rubbed her back, soothing her into a deep sleep, hoping eventually, someday, I would get to wake up to her beautiful face, everyday until my heart stops beating.*NEXT CHAPTER: "Pillow Talking"