AN: Pretty much all the vampires and a bit of the wolf-pack belong to SM.

I don't even own Trisha, Ethan, David, Taylor, Jordan or any of the other wolf kids. They belong to yay4shanghai. She's just letting me borrow them for a little while because she rocks and doesn't mind sharing!

Big shout out and thanks to my very amazingly awesome, totally rockin' friends, yay4shanghai (for being the most best beta, like, EVER) and KupKakes09, who gives me some kickass ideas and helps to keep me motivated! Don't forget to show them some love!

Also, check out these other authors: She's A Boozer, Call Me Embrys, Zuzak, Augustblack, NataliaNicolette, and twihardcaligurl.

I'm assisting augustblack and zuzak with another story called "Sunset." It's a Sam/Bella fic and the first chapter's already up! Be sure to give it a look because it won't disappoint.

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Epilogue: "Are You Kidding Me?"

DAVID'S POV

I tried to go to sleep. But I couldn't. I looked at the clock seven times, each time my brain working harder to think about the endless amount of shit going on in my life.

12:23 a.m.—I wonder if Paul knows that Trisha was here tonight?

1:34 a.m.—Aha! Found 'em! My love's purple panties! I was about to strangle someone thinking they'd stolen them.

1:59 a.m.—I wonder if she's seen Ethan around? I know he's been walking around the reservation.

2:16 a.m.—I wonder if Mark would be my second if I had to fight Ethan?

2:37a.m.—I bet Mark wouldn't be my second if Taylor was Ethan's second. But he'd probably choose Solace. Hmm…

3:19 a.m.—What did she mean when she said don't ever forget that? I should ask Mark. He's smart and he'd probably know exactly what she was thinking.

"Yo, Mark, man, wake your ass up," I said. I swear that boy could sleep through anything.

"What'd you want, David? It's three o'clock in the morning!" he said. I kept shaking him to make sure he was fully awake.

"Something's wrong…with Trisha, I think," I whispered.

"Why do you think that? She's not almost pregnant again, is she?" Mark asked.

"Fuck no! We haven't even had sex since that last time. Embry gave me an order, which more than kinda pisses me off, because if Jake were the Alpha he'd never do that."

"But he's not, so what's the problem that can't wait until mornin?"

"When I dropped her off, she was crying. Wouldn't even look at me. Then when she got out of the truck said she loved me and told me never to forget that. What'd you think that means?" The last thing she said when she got out of the truck was what confused me. I tried to get her to come back so I could ask what the hell she meant, but she was inside before I could even open my mouth.

I could tell Mark was thinking about it, trying to figure it out for me. He sat up for and looked at me. "What else happened?" He asked.

"Well, we were here, on the couch when Momma and Dad went to the grocery store. She jerked me off and then she just started bawlin' her eyes out. I thought maybe I'd done something wrong but she said everything was fine," I told him, trying to figure out for myself what the fuck happened in that ten minute period of her jerking me off to put her in tears.

He kept thinking for a second and then his eyes widened. "Oh, no," he mumbled. "Did she give you anything before she got out? Leave anything with you or in your truck?"

"No. Well, I don't know about the truck," I said.

"Go check right now. I'm calling Taylor," Mark pulled the phone from next to his bed.

I bolted down the stairs and rummaged through my front seat. Nothing, nothing, nothing, and then…something…an envelope with her beautiful handwriting on it. David.

"Oh, shit!" I grabbed it and ran back upstairs. Mark was still talking to Taylor.

"Fuck, Taylor! This is going to kill him," Mark turned to face away from me, while I fumbled to open the envelope. I pulled out a light purple sheet of paper with Trisha's handwriting on it.

My David,

I'm so sorry…I have to go…It isn't because I don't love you or that I wouldn't want to be with you…It's just…I love Ethan so much, more than I think anyone can realize…I can't change that and it's not fair to you for me to pretend otherwise…Please don't forget how much I love you and how much I treasure every moment we had together…You're strong and I know you'll be okay…I love you…

Love,

Your Dollface

The paper fell out of my hands and I couldn't do anything but stare off into space. Mark was by my side in an instance.

"Bro, you okay?" he asked me.

"She left me. She didn't want me, Mark. I loved her! I know she was my imprint, but I loved her more than that. I loved her! And she left me," I started to sob. I'm a big dude and I'm sure I looked pretty weird to him, watching my face twist in pain.

"Goddamnit! Momma!" Mark yelled, as I laid down in the bed. This is how I imagined a little puppy that had been left by his owners on the side of the road would feel, abandoned, unloved, and unwanted. I curled to one side and let her words sink in. It's not fair to you…but it was fair for her to leave me, to pick him over me?

"Momma!" Mark yelled louder and I heard her footsteps on the stairs.

"Geez, Mark, it's three in the morning! You're gonna wake your sister," Momma said. She must've just then noticed me, all curled up in a ball. "David, are you okay?" I didn't say anything but I heard my crying get louder. "Mark, what the hell happened?"

Mark slid off the bed and picked up the letter. He handed it to Momma. "I just talked to Taylor. Ethan's gone too," Mark said.

"Sam! Sam! Get up here now!" Momma yelled down to Dad.

His footsteps were much harder than Momma's and I closed my eyes even tighter, not wanting my Dad to see me cry.

"What the fuck?!" Dad said.

"Read this," Momma shoved the letter to him. "Get me the phone, Mark."

I could hear Mark pick it up and Momma dial a number. I heard it ring a few times and then a sleepy, "Hello" come from the other end.

"Hey, Paul. Do me a favor and check Trisha's room, will ya?" Momma asked. "No, David's right here…I'm pretty sure she's with Ethan…Did she leave you a note or anything...yeah, go check…Hey, Rach…Just a little drama, nothing to worry about just yet…Okay, put Paul back on…She put it next to the bowl of apples…have you read it yet?...Come over right now…See you in five minutes."

I heard her hang up and dial the phone again. "Taylor, can I speak to your Mom, please…Hey, Kim…Did he leave you a note?...Have you read it?...Paul and Rachel are coming over, why don't you leave Taylor to watch the girls and you and Jared come over so we can figure this out?...Okay, see you in a bit."

"They both got letters. Paul said Trisha left one for Billy, too. They're coming over right now," Momma was talking to Dad but every single word sunk into me.

She's gone and she's not coming back. We won't have our little Sarah or make love in the backseat of her Mustang. I won't get to watch her graduate. I won't see her in a beautiful white dress and I won't get to call her Trisha Uley. She chose him over me. I'll never touch her or see her or feel her again. I love her. I love her so much. My heart hurts.

I stayed on my bed, curled up. Momma sat at the my side, next to Mark, rubbing my back and letting me cry.

"David, sweetie, it'll be okay, okay? We'll find her, okay? She'll come back, baby," she whispered.

"No…I don't want to find her. She doesn't want me. She wants him and I won't drag her back here screaming. I love her too much for that," I whispered.

There was a loud banging noise on the door downstairs and Dad left the room to answer it. I knew it was Paul and Rachel, I could smell him all the way upstairs. Before they were even all the way in the door, Kim and Jared pulled up.

"Fan-fucking-tastic! Let's invite the whole fucking rez to my heartbreak," I mumbled.

"They might be able to help," Mark said.

"Help what?" I asked, opening my eyes to him, stopping the tears. He didn't get a chance to answer before the whole gang had made their way upstairs.

The look on Rachel's face was…tragic. She couldn't stop crying and Paul actually had to carry her upstairs, himself looking like someone had stabbed him the heart. Jared was holding tight to Kim, who immediately ran to Momma, quickly embraced in a hug.

"I don't get it. They hadn't even seen each other since he'd been home," Jared said.

I rolled over and looked at him, glaring. "Doesn't matter. They're gone anyway," I snapped at him.

Paul spoke up. "David, I'm so…"

I cut him off. "Don't you fucking say you're sorry! You have no idea!" I got off the bed and started moving towards Paul.

"David, son, you need to calm down!" Dad said, noticing my body start to shake.

"No! I won't calm down! I'm fucking mad as hell! And I hate this! I don't fucking want to be a wolf anymore! I don't want to be anything!" I was screaming so loud I could almost see the neighbors' lights flicker on. I had cornered Paul and could hear the growls coming from his chest. It didn't matter though. I was bigger. And stronger. He hadn't phased in a few years and it was all too easy for me to grab his shirt and drag him out front. I wanted to fight. I needed to fight. Someone. Anyone. And Paul, the father of the love of my life, just happened to be there.

I threw him on the ground, turning around to phase, and I heard a "POP!" sound. I phased immediately and the big wolf in front of me showed his teeth.

David, this is stupid. I'm not the one you want to fight! Paul thought.

We circled each other a few times before I lunged at him. Damn if Paul Wise wasn't still one of the best wolf fighters. He had me on my back, his teeth at my throat in no time.

Fuck it! Do it, Paul! Kill Me! PLEASE! She's gone…I will never be me again! Just do it! I screamed in my head. I didn't necessarily want to die. I just didn't really want to live without Trisha anymore. I'd tried that, and it sucked.

David, bro, please don't say that! What would I do without you?! Mark had phased and added to the tension in my head.

What, you mean you wouldn't find some else to cut down and make feel like an idiot! That's all I am to you anyway! Every chance you get, you remind me of just how stupid you think I am! I thought, pushing Paul off of me and glaring at my brother, who stood a few feet from me.

That's not true! I love you! You know that, you're my big brother! I could hear the hurt in Mark's thoughts as he began showing memories of us as kids, then of us fighting the Wahalla brothers together, of us in the truck with Trisha.

I hit back with images of him and Taylor spouting out cheap shots at my intelligence or him yelling at me when I interrupted his phone calls. I'm nothing but a joke to you. No worries. I thought. And then I ran like hell.

Why I'd chosen to go off on Mark like that, especially when I'd been pinned to the ground by Paul, I don't know. It was like every single thing little flaw I had was shoved in my face by that fucking letter. Knowing that Ethan was smarter and thinking that to Mark, I was just a punching bag. Fuck, I was just a punching bag in most cases to most people.

I ran to Canada and tried to get those damn wolf voices out of my head. Other than Mark's, Seth's voice was the loudest, saying things I know Dad was telling him to. I stayed a wolf for six months. I phased back a few times, but it didn't last long because the anger only made me phase back. I learned a few things during that time.

First, I don't know why rabbit is considered a delicacy because it tastes like rubber shit.

Second, watching two elk get it on is not cool. In fact, it's beyond disturbing.

Third, bathing in streams and rivers ain't that bad.

Fourth, no matter where you go, those damn wolves will always be in your head.

Fifth, no matter where I went, what I did, what I saw, I still missed Trisha. I still loved her, dammit, and if I was gonna be miserable, I might as well do it at home with the people I love.

I ran home to be met by Mark, apologizing, again, for like the thousandth time since I'd left. Momma gave me kisses all over my face and yelled at me to never do that again. Dad hugged me and helped me take care of some major gashes on my side that weren't healing as fast as they should've.

The Wises came over not long after I got back and they looked horrible. I wondered if Trisha knew what she'd done to them, that her momma was absolutely miserable and because of that, Paul was too. Not to mention, listening him talk to Billy one day, he was crying that his pain wasn't just because of Rachel but that he wanted his daughter back. I thought for a moment that maybe I should let my idea of not bringing her back go, but I didn't want her if she was gonna be all mopey and pissed that she was here. We'd learn to adjust, we'd done it before and we'd do it again.

Mark gave me a journal when I came back to help me relieve stress. I'd been so unstable for the first few weeks I was back and would phase at the drop of a hat. That was how I started to heal.

DAVID'S JOURNAL'S POV

Day 185 since Trisha left me: Finally wore the same clothes all day and didn't rip anything. Yahoo!

Day 190 since Trisha left me: I thought too much about Trisha today and Mark had to come pick me up from the grocery store after I destroyed all the damn apples in sight. That was interesting.

Day 215 since Trisha left me: Mark asked me to go to Port Angeles with him and Jordan to see some foreign movie at the college. He failed to mention that I was going to have to read through the whole thing. Only good thing about that damn French movie: naked French chicks! Apparently, it's rude if you shout "Woo Hoo!" when they start taking their clothes off. I swear, if I wasn't a wolf, I'd have a freakin' bruise where Jordan elbowed me in the ribs.

Day 300 since Trisha left me: Got my old job back. I'm still the assistant to that contractor Joe Samis in Forks. But he's giving me more responsibility and I actually get to oversee a small house project near Port Angeles.

Day 330 since Trisha left me: Promotion! I'm ready, Promotion! I did such a kick-ass job on that house in Port Angeles that Joe's letting me supervise the construction of a new bookstore in Forks. Super stoked for that but don't like books. They remind me too much of her.

Day 344 since Trisha left me: Mark gave me a book today about Native American dwellings or something like that. Said it might help in my construction career. I liked it and thanked him for it. I liked looking at the different houses different peoples have lived in. Then he and Taylor and Jordan made me watch this documentary on the construction of the Space Needle in Seattle. Normally I would've been bored to tears but it was cool to hang with Mark and Jordan. I still feel a little tense around Taylor, even though he's been really cool to me since Ethan skipped town with the love of my life, I still remember his jabs at me. The highlight of the evening was us eating two whole fucking apple pies (Trisha's favorite) while we watched the movie, which is gonna majorly piss Momma off when she gets home, but what can you do?

Day 365 since Trisha left me: Is it normal for it to still hurt so bad? I shouldn't miss her anymore but I can't not still feel a little empty inside. It's been a year. A whole year. We haven't heard a word and I still don't want to go searching. I won't.

Day 371 since Trisha left me: Hung out with the most awesome brother on the planet. One of the only positives of this whole fucking situation is that Mark has been here for me. I can see that he misses Trisha, too. They had become really good friends and I know he misses that.

Day 399 since Trisha left me: We finally finished the book store in Forks. I hid this little apple shaped rock in the cobblestone floor. I put it there for Trisha. Only I'll really know its there but that's all that really matters anyway. I bought a few books to read. Mark reads lots of books on Buddhism and I've been wondering about different cultures and religions so I picked up this book about Catholic Saints. It's pretty cool. I like reading the stories about ordinary people that did extraordinary things. Makes me feel like I have some sort of purpose I may not have realized yet.

Day 425 since Trisha left me: I got a big raise at work! I've been promoted again, too, and my boss says he's really proud of all the hard work I've been doing. He's thinking of giving me my own team to do bigger jobs with. I'm working with him right now but on a shopping mall in Port Angeles. He's split the work up amongst two teams, his (which includes me acting as his assistant but pretty much doing everything) and this other guy who I affectionately refer to as Doug the Douche because he reminds me a lot of Ethan and it takes everything in me not to punch that asshole in the face, and he thinks he's right about everything, again, just like that Wahalla brat. I haven't been getting much sleep lately though. The pack's been short a few wolves with Quil and Ethan gone and Mark at school most of the time. So I've picked up extra shifts when I can. I like helping out with the younger wolves and it takes my mind off of everything.

Day 460 since Trisha left me: Work is progressing well on the shopping mall and I feel like I'm making a name for myself. I'm not living in any shadows and I'm not being compared to anyone else. It's just me and my work.

Day 500 since Trisha left me: Still working on the shopping mall. I picked up another book, this one about Cathedrals in Europe. I think I saw the one from the pictures of Quil and Claire's wedding and it was beautiful. Of all the styles, I like the Gothic cathedrals the best. So much detail and symbolism. So beautiful and each unique. Much like the wolves, though I'd never tell any of them they were beautiful.

Day 550 since Trisha left me: My entries are kinda not regular. Work keeps me busy and I'm still increasing my time with the pack. It gives me something to do and I like the pride I feel with the pack. I'm still working on the shopping mall but we should be nearing the end. My first big project, even if I am just an assistant, I feel like I have a little ownership in it. Mark and Jordan took me to this fancy restaurant in Port Angeles to celebrate, we ate lobster and got to wear these awesome bib thingies. It was freakin' am-azing.

Day 582 since Trisha left me: The shopping mall is finished and I was sad that Trisha wasn't there to see it. I know that she would be proud.

Day 601 since Trisha left me: Today, when I went for coffee during work, I ran into Tiffany, my ex-girlfriend. We talked for a minute about her sister, but the thing that got me…she asked me out! Said she heard I'd been down for awhile, didn't know the specifics but asked if I would go to dinner with her tomorrow night. I told her yes…

Day 602 since Trisha left me: Dinner with Tiffany. Awesomely different. It was nice to enjoy time with someone else. We didn't talk about Trisha, we didn't talk about wolf stuff, we talked about me and her and life. We were just ourselves. And I felt like a regular guy…

Day 633 since Trisha left me: I took Tiffany on a picnic near the cliffs. We've seen each other everyday since that first date and I guess you could say we're kinda a couple. Tonight, I kissed her. Pulled her close to me and placed my lips on hers. It was different than any of Trisha's kisses. Just not what I'd become so used to. It was nice to have someone react to me and want me without worrying about someone else popping up and taking her from me…

Day 667 since Trisha left me: I did something tonight. I was at Tiffany's apartment, relaxing and watching a movie. I couldn't help it, all the fucking wolves have been thinking about nothing but sex the last few days. I swear it's like fucking Spring fever and it finally made me snap. Tiff got up to get something to drink and said, "want some?" I grabbed her and, well, it kinda went from there. We did "it" right there on the living room floor and, I was a little rougher than I should've been. She was on top most of the time, so I didn't have to worry about crushing her. But I bit her…On the neck, really hard and she yelped in pain. I felt bad and couldn't stop apologizing. She kept saying, "It's fine. That's what they make concealer for." I felt bad for hurting her but I felt bad for another reason, too. The whole time I was with her, in her, holding her, one person was in my mind and I started missing her more than I had in a long time.

Day 672 since Trisha left me: I finally got approval from the boss to run my own construction team. We've started on an office complex and I'm the boss. I'm in charge. I haven't been this excited in a long time and I know this is going to be awesome.

Day 688 since Trisha left me: I can feel something in the air. Something is going to change soon. I can't figure out what it is but I can sense it and even see it in the other wolves' thoughts and feelings. It's a bad feeling and it has all of us on edge. Embry's increased patrols but no one has caught an off scent or anything. It's just a feeling. And from our thoughts, whatever it is that's coming, isn't going to be good.

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Second A/N: On to the sequel, which is to be called Make Up Your Mind, from a Theory of a Deadman song and recommended by KupKakes 09! This is how much I love you guys: I will post the prologue to the sequel tomorrow, yes, that's right, tomorrow! It starts here where David ends his entries.

I'm so excited to change the story status to complete and I want to thank each and everyone of you who read and reviewed, or just read! You have no idea how much it means to have such sincere readers! Thank you, thank you, thank you!