A/N: WARNING. There is gore and Non-Con in this chapter.

Twenty two, and cool metal had long since become warm in Ichigo's hand. The band that had bound him to his lover over five years earlier. The ring that had held the promise they both agreed to, the physical embodyment of their love, affections.

And his sorrow.

It had been over five years since Renji's proposal. The happiest day of both of their lives. The day had been perfect, and of course Ichigo had said yes, then later teased Renji about being so formal. But he loved it. The thought put into it, the effort Renji had put into the day to make it as perfect as he possibly could. He wouldn't have changed anything that happened that day.

What came after that is what broke him. Only few months after the proposal, Renji had to leave for a trip to the states. The mission had only been supposed to last a week, a routine practice where he had to go and clean up some hollows that had collected in Florida. A week turned into weeks, weeks to months, and with no one able to find him, traces of the redhead's reiatsu growing stale, he was announced dead. Five years since that day. Two years since he'd finally stopped looking with the urging of Rukia who found herself worried for Ichigo's health. One year since he'd managed to fight through the depression that had come with the lack of some distraction. And four months since he'd finally managed to find somewhere to live on his own without relying on his father, who had tried to help pass the time by teaching Ichigo basic medical procedures.

Never once had he given up on believing that Renji was still out there. That his lover still remained somewhere in the world and that he hadn't been abandoned. Sometimes, though, his hopes faltered. He'd find himself fighting to keep his hopes alive, only to watch them be poisoned and crumble with the doubts of maybe Renji had chosen to leave. That he never really wanted him, and that he'd used this as a chance to break off.

Now was almost one of those times. Because he refused to allow himself to believe Renji was dead.

A growl came from the man's stomach. He needed to eat. Going without food for as long as what had become habitual for him wasn't healthy, and sighing, he put the ring back into the small velvet box and slid it beneath his pillow before he stood up, heading to his kitchenette.

Stepping through the living room, a soft sound at the door caught his attention. That was... Odd. Generally those who came to visit him called first, allowing him to figure life out on his own. He'd asked them to give him some space, being around too many people too often triggering memories and thoughts he'd rather forget.

He opened the door, eyes widening as he stared at the man in front of him, at once recognizing the crimson red hair and black tattoos. At once his mind clouded itself from anything else. His heart pounded in his chest, waves of desperation, confusion and pain all ramming against his consciousness. He glared, blinded by his emotions as he lifted his arms and slammed his palms against his lover's chest. "Where the fuck have you been!?"

Renji stumbled back, and Ichigo could feel bone shift beneath the skin of the lieutenant's chest. Rage faded into worry and horror as he watched the man fall to his knee's, the blood and defeat cladding the other's form becoming terribly apparent.

A hiss of agony slipped through the red head's teeth, but he continued to stare up at the other. Continued to stare at and take in the features that he so longed to see. "I thought I'd never see ya again, Ichigo... I... ...I thought..." Focus faded from his eyes, fighting to keep the other engraved in his memory, to recreate the image that had become so dull and faded over the years. "I... ...I stayed... alive... just... for... ya..." He fought to say the final words as his eyes rolled back into his head, collapsing into the arms of the substitute diving to catch him.

Renji's body was beaten and broken, his breathing shallow and ragged. Blood crusted and stained the clothes of his Gigai, and there was no way he'd be able to get out of the Gigai before he, and it, had been healed. Death was slowly wrapping him in its embrace.

As Ichigo took in the broken and bloodied form of his lover, a shudder overtook him, becoming angry with himself for what he had assumed. The reaction to Renji's appearance had been uncalled for, and the actions he'd taken could have easily worsened the wounds that were now all becoming more and more apparent to the male as he looked over his lover's form.

Muscles had degraded, leaving his skin to warp around his bones, the tribal tattoos only barely recognizable on his skin that was torn scarred and cut in multiple places, blood seeping through soiled bandages that hadn't been changed in days. Bone pressed against the flesh in his lower leg, and his hip sat at an awkward angle. Guilt washed over him like a flood at all the thoughts he'd had in the past year, the waters quickly warping into hatred as he realized that someone had done this to him. That someone had taken Renji from him for five years and put him into such a desperate state. And he found himself resenting whoever it had been, human or not. Stayed alive? God, Ichigo had never loathed anyone so much in his life.

Careful not to hurt Renji any more than he already was, Ichigo lifted the Shinigami into his arms, closing the door behind them before quickly taking him to the bedroom, pressing his lips against Renji's forehead and feeling the feverish heat the skin emitted.

He didn't blame Renji for disappearing anymore. That line of thought had completely wiped itself from his mind.

Consuming him now was the need to get Renji's wounds treated, doing whatever he could to make sure that Renji didn't die. That he wasn't abandoned again.

"Don't worry… I'll take care of you…" Tears flowed down his cheeks, dripping into the clothing and diluting the blood, both fresh and dry on the other's skin. Placing a final kiss on his lost lover's temple, he left the room, leaving the door open as he collected a tub of warm water, multiple washcloths, gauze, bandage wraps, medical tape, short wooden planks and scissors. He'd need help, especially for the more serious injuries, but if Ichigo didn't stop or slow the bleeding, Renji would bleed out before any help arrived.

Having collected the needed supplies, he went back over to the bed, lifting Renji gently into a sitting position as he removed his clothing, revealing the wounds that had been agitated or reopened. Heat and mucus reached his nose, revealing the infection that many of his wounds likely suffered as he cut off the bandages, not bothering with gloves as he removed the soiled strips of fabric. A stab wound just left of his stomach, and another just left of his spine worried Ichigo the most. Who ever had done the bandaging knew what they were doing. The wraps seemed to be done professionally and with care, and with each detail he noticed he realized just how desperate his lover, his fiancée, had been to get back.

With all wounds revealed, scars, cuts, broken or fractured bones and dislocated joints, Ichigo felt what remained of his heart shatter, and murmuring a final sentence, he got to work. He dipped a fresh washcloth into the water, starting to wipe away the blood coming from the wound on his stomach first, and pressing multiple pads of gauze against the wound, waiting for blood to stop seeping through before taping a fresh pad in place, and moving on to the next wounds.

He preformed the procedure to all of the wounds he possibly could, refusing to stop until the blood had been completely wiped from his body. Fresh water was collected multiple times, a thick aroma of rust filled the room to the point Ichigo had to get a fan, open the window, and still continuing to work, air out the room so the scent alone didn't make him pass out.

When that was finished, he took the limbs that could be splinted with what he had, and coaxed the bone into realignment before placing the wood against it and wrapping it until he was sure it would stay in place.

"Fuck… Renji what did they do to you…"

The substitute's first action after Renji was taken out of immediate danger was to call anyone he could think of that could help. Someone that could possibly heal Renji from the state he was in, the first name coming to mind being Orihime as he quickly dialed her number, his fingers shaking as he waited for her to pick up, the familiar voice repeating words he'd hoped he wouldn't hear. At least, not right now. He left both her and Urahara a message, neither picking up, him desperate for anyone to pick up. For someone to answer his calls and pleas for help.

He was desperate. With the blood no longer concealing the skin, Ichigo could see just how pale the other was. The detail of every scar and bruise, the infection festering beneath his skin only tore at Ichigo. His eyes couldn't settle anywhere on the other's form without being reminded of how bad a state he was in, his mind already blocking out some of the injuries that made his stomach turn. Things he refused to allow himself to believe happened to the lieutenant, at least right now, for the sake of his own sanity.

He tried a third number. Rukia's. She'd given him a way to contact her even in soul society in the case that Ichigo ever needed her, for whatever reason it could be. Right now, though, he needed her here. Needed her to bring some form of help for her friend and his lover.

"Hello?"

The sound of her voice ringing through the speaker sent relieved chills down his spine. Tears almost threatened to spill down his face once more as he ran his fingers through his hair to calm himself down. His body and hands trembled as he fought for the will to speak, finding it harder to say the words he needed to than he thought it would. "Rukia… I need your help… I need you to get Unohana, Isane anyone just… help. Please." His voice was soft, hissing as he fought back the need to cry.

Once questioning tone became incredibly worried at Ichigo's request. "Ichigo, slow down. What are you talking about? What's wrong?"

"He's back. Rukia, Renji's back and he's dying."

Silence. It was all he was given. His heart pounded in his chest and ears, his mind throbbing in time with it from the overwhelming emotions he felt.

The response he was finally graced with was incredulous, "Are you sure?"

A sharp nod shook Ichigo's head, making his headache worse and forcing him to realize that she wasn't there, that she couldn't see him. "Y-Yeah I'm sure… I've done all I can with what Dad taught me but there's nothing else I can do. And I can't move him anymore than I already have to get him inside…" He paused, shoulders shaking, the pain in his mind making it more and more difficult to keep the tears from taking over. "Rukia I can't lose him again."

"I know." She sighed through the phone, not wanting to see the substitute go through all he had again. Trying to prevent him from dropping back into his depression that had taken him so long to break free of. "Try to get a hold of Orihime. I'll talk to Unohana-Taicho and we'll be there soon." And with that, she hung up. Ichigo brought his arm down and held the phone between his palms, pressing tightly against it as he allowed himself to cry, tears continuing to fall long after Ichigo's voice had given out, and the sobs could no longer be heard.

Blood splattered on the floor once again as rusted steel dove into the flesh, tearing into his thigh. Screams of agony could be heard for blocks around the abandoned building as yet another object was plunged into his body, ripping him to shreds. Though, there was no one around that would care that a former Lieutenant of the 13 Court Guard Squads was in such a state.

With each tear shed he whimpered Ichigo's name. Only his, and forcing more pain to be brought to him. Each time the men demanded he scream their names he only spoke Ichigo's. For the five years he'd been trapped in that torturous place the only word he ever spoke was 'Ichigo.' No matter what they did to him, no matter how hard they hit, how deep they cut, the only thing he allowed himself to think about was Ichigo, and how much his lover might be suffering, regardless of his own physical and mental wounds.

Renki's dreams were invaded with the torture of his final experience with his captors, the pain of the memories visible on the man's face as his unconsciousness became a screen for the horrific memories. Though instead of watching it, he was the actor, and each recollection of the pain caused his wounds to flare up in pain.

Using only blood as lubricant, both men forced their way into him, ripping open the half healed wounds inside. With any rusted tool they could reach, they made fresh lacerations across his skin, marring the tattoos that had been so carefully placed onto his skin. The black marks themselves becoming long since unrecognizable over most of his flesh. They had him bent in such a way that the hip he'd just managed to force back into place was once again ripped from his socket. The cries of pain that ripped themselves from his raw throat only egged the two on, laughing as they continued his torture without any restraint.

It took a little under an hour for Rukia and the Captain to arrive, however, to the worried male, it felt like days. Each second was a second that could hold Renji's dying breath. Each minute a minute passed that could leave him truly and completely split in two, never to hold his second half again. During the time he waited for them to arrive, he never left the redhead's side, wanting to be there when he woke up, and refusing to let the word 'if' cross his mind. His eyes stared dimmed and almost hopeless at Renji, feeling absolutely useless, since he could do nothing more to help. Nothing more to increase his chances.

He'd pressed the phone so tightly in his hands that he found he had to put it down, out of fear of breaking the device.

His leg fractured and snapped in multiple places as he was slammed into the ground repeatedly, broken and damaged ribs shifting within his chest, caused by the kicks he'd received when they were done. A punishment for not obeying his 'Masters' orders and his arm lay shattered where they stomped on it to hold him down. He was a nearly broken man who refused to allow that last little ember of his once blazing personality be snuffed out.

"Ich….I…..go…." He whimpered outside of his nightmare as fresh tears streamed down his cheeks. This was all his fault, all the pain, all the suffering he believed that he had put Ichigo through was because he was weak. His breathing was getting more and more erratic, both because of his dreams and because of the pain his body was being forced to endure. With his fever skyrocketing, his pulse slowly began to fade. Ichigo was right in believing that Renji was dying, with his infected wounds and broken and gashed body he wasnt recovering at all. If he didnt get help soon he would die.

Renji called out his lovers name again as his dreams turned for the worse. The last moments before he had been left for dead, which were the worst for the Lieutenant, for it was in those last few moments he truly believed he would die without being able to see his Ichigo once more.

The man the name belonged to, however, had been pacing around the room when he heard Renji call out to him. He moved quickly to the side of the bed that Renji had been placed upon, leaning over him carefully as not to disturb him as he checked frantically to see if the other was awake. Realizing he wasn't, he frowned, and moved gently onto the bed, sitting on the pillow and placing Renji's head onto his lap, blankly wiping away the tears that streamed down his face, his own tears having long since dried in crusted streams along his cheeks. His mind was beginning to pull itself back into its depression, recoiling from any thought of losing his lover again as it shut down.

Dulled eyes stared in silent agony as he absentmindedly stroked his lovers hair, wiping away tears as they showed themselves on his skin.

That was where he was when the two women arrived.

A large boot was slammed into his face, forcing his frail body to skid across the floor, shards of broken glass, remnants of previous sessions, ripping through his skin. The larger of the two men pulled Renji up and held him in the air by his now frail, and brittle hair while the other man prodded the shriveled and beaten skin with rusty nails.

"It'll end." They promised, taunting him with the words of a final release from the pain into the arms of death, "It'll all end if you just say our names, Pet." The larger one sneered, looking over the male as he writhed in pain. Again, however, he only called out his lover's name. The name of the one he'd give everything he had left to see again.

Rukia had a key. Ichigo had given it to her should she ever find herself worried about the substitute, per her own request. But as she realized that Ichigo's door had been left unlocked, she frowned, turning the handle and pushing her way inside, Unohana following close behind.

The scents of both fresh and oxidized blood hit their noses, the house reeked of the scent of gore, and a trail of blood led dripping along the carpet to Ichigo's room. Unohana immediately pushed ahead, following the trail into the substitute's room. After a moment's pause, Rukia followed her. They found the two men on the bed, Renji unconscious and Ichigo looking more forlorn and dead than he had in the past year.

Ichigo she'd recognized immediately. Even with him allowing his hair to grow out, his basic features were still the same. He was still the lean, tall substitute she'd learned to know and love.

Renji, however…

She almost couldn't believe it was really him. How could it be? How could the man that she'd grown up with, become a shinigami with, and watched become a lieutenant be reduced to such a horrific state? She could see the defeated look of despair on the reaper's face, and for once, she didn't scold him for it. She was feeling the same thing herself.

Unohana quickly moved to the bed where the others were as Rukia stood dumbstruck behind her. While shocked at the other's condition she knew the moment she'd seen the man that the wounds had become infected, and if something wasn't done with abrupt haste, they'd lose him. She didn't have Ichigo move as she looked over the other's form, examining his state with closer attention. He likely wouldn't if she asked, and didn't have the heart to separate them after so long. If Ichigo didn't interfere then there was no reason for him to leave. The hazed over look in his eyes had revealed all she needed to know.

She carefully removed the wraps and looked over some of his worse wounds. The appearance of them brought a dark scowl to her normally kind expression. Renji hadn't been simply cut, or beaten. This was worse than that. The damage done here would take months, years to heal completely from. And even then... she wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to return to his duties. If not for the physical damage, for the mental.

She gave a soft glance over to Ichigo, "I know you're worried at the moment but I need you to trust me that I am not hurting him. Even if he flinches, what I have to do to fix him is going to be incredibly painful for him, but it has to be done."

Ichigo tore his eyes reluctantly from Renji's face to look at the 4th Squad's captain. The idea of Renji being put through anything else terrified him. He didn't want Renji to be put through anything else. But he knew she was right. Even denying the worst of what he'd seen, he knew she was right, and nodded before looking back at Renji, not speaking a word.

Unohana gave him a sympathetic look, her lips flattening as she turned to Rukia. "Go see if you can find Orihime. We are going to need her. When you return, lock the door and cast a kido to protect Ichigo's apartment." She instructed, expecting her to do as she was told before returning to her work.

As she looked him over she realized that more than just the open wounds needed tending to. Many scars littered his body that she feared needed to be reopened. They hadn't healed properly, and if left unattended, could lead to significantly worse problems in the future, though for now she decided to let it be, knowing that there were likely going to be many operations, even with Orihime's help, that would need to be done. For now, she focused on the red head's worse wounds. Specifically, the stab wounds in his stomach and back.

They'd already begun to close slightly, infection festering beneath the skin and turning it a sickening mixture of red and green. It had already begun to seep into his bloodstream, the veins leading from it appearing a bright red trailing beneath the skin. If she didn't get all the wounds closed in this operation, she'd at least get all the infection out, and pushing her Reiatsu into her hands, she began her work.

Rukia had immediately followed what she had been told to do by her superior, almost eagerly, wanting to both get her friend healed as quickly as possible, and to leave the horrific sight behind.

She'd almost made it to the girl's house when she saw her walking hurriedly in the direction the shinigami had just come. Rukia quickly shunpoed to walk beside her, easily keeping pace with the worried woman. Orihime looked down at Rukia, her eyes displaying every emotion she felt, confusion, relief, worry... She had little clue as to what was going on. "Rukia, is it true? Is Abarai-Kun back?" She asked, gazing down at the raven haired shinigami without breaking pace.

Rukia gave a slight nod. "That's why I'm here. He's dying Orihime. Unohana needs your help."

A nod came from her, as she quickened her pace into a run, heading to Ichigo's home as quickly as she possibly could. It wasn't long before she made her way to the door, and pushed her way in, heading to where she could feel Ichigo and Unohana's Reiatsu. Rukia stayed in the living room, obeying the second part of her order and setting up kido around the building.

When Orihime entered the room her hand flung to her mouth as she gaped in horror. "A-Abarai-Kun..." She murmured, tears welling in her eyes and spilling down her face.

Unohana looked to the girl, still focusing on removing the infection from the first wound. This was going to take time, getting him into a stable state. "Inoue-san, I'm glad you're here." She smiled lightly, sympathetically at the girl, "I know how you must feel, but I need your help. As soon as I finish removing the infection, I need you to repair the wound, and only this one. I'd allow you to do them all, however these are not normal injuries, and need to be carefully watched."

Orihime nodded, wiping her face on her sleeve quickly before standing at the side of the bed, and looked at Ichigo as he stroked his lover's head gently, lovingly. It was agonizing to see them this way. To remember how happy the two had been together then see them now, one physically broken nearly beyond repair, and the other so devastated that he seemed an empty shell of himself.

"Now."

"Satun Keshhun, I reject." She called, holding out her hand to the wound and healing the first of many to come.

Silence reigned through the room after that, no one really feeling like talking. It was another few minutes before Renji broke the silence.

"I… Ichi…go…"

Angered by his lack of respect, the men stabbed him for a final time, one in the back and the other in the stomach before Renji's hair was released and he was thrown across the room, slamming into the wall as he was left to bleed out. Leaving him to die, the two men left to clean themselves and find a new pet, as this one no longer had any use to them. Renji lay in a growing sea of his own blood, wanting to cry but his tear ducts having dried from overuse. Three final words left his lips before he blacked out.

Immediately, Ichigo's eyes brightened and he looked down at the red head, moving his thumbs soothingly over his temples. "I'm here, Renji, I'm here..." He murmured, making his presence known and speaking for the first time since the girls' arrival. The voice he spoke in sounded damaged and hoarse, betraying the fact that Ichigo had been crying not that long ago.

Sitting in the chair that Ichigo had placed at the side of the bed, Orihime looked at him sympathetically, not even being able to begin understanding what the two males were going through, but wanting to help them in any way she could.

"I'm... s…so…rry… Ichigo…"

Unohana could see the sudden terror flood the amber eyes of the twenty two year old as he looked at the damaged form of his lover.

Shaking his head violently, Ichigo leaned down to place his lips on Renji's forehead, tears streaming down his face once more. "N-no... Renji there's nothing for you to apologize for... You- you did nothing wrong... it's okay... it-it's okay. I don't blame you, just don't leave me..." He moved and rests his lips affectionately and lightly against Renji's before pulling away, "Please don't let me lose you again... I'm begging you... I've just got you back..." He whispered to the other, placing his forehead against the paled skin of the other's, weak and comparably dry tears dripping into the crimson hair.

Pain, there was so much pain. Renji knew that he had to have died, he must be in the underworld now. To feel this pain he had to have been punished for something he had done. Was it because of what he did to his friends, because he was too weak? He didnt know, all he knew is that he would do nearly anything to make it all go away. His entire body felt like it was on fire, he felt as though he was being stabbed with as many rusty nails that the house he was trapped in held. The Lieutenant screamed out in agony and it seemed as though no one cared.

He found himself back from the brink of unconsciousness in his dream and looked around him. He was laying in his own blood, and he was dying. "Ichigo?" He thought to himself, he could have sworn he heard his lovers voice. He would do anything to hear it once more. He truly didnt know if he would make it back to Japan especially in the condition he was in, but he promised himself that he would go to his lover. Turning over on his back he looked down at the wound in his stomach that was burning so much more than the rest. It felt as though someone were placing a white hot iron into his veins as he arched against the blood stained floor begging for it to stop.

His body writhed in Ichigos arms, he mumbled "Stop…please…."needing some sort of reprieve from the agony that he had been forced to suffer.